hongking's diary

12:19 p.m. - 2003-06-01

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just used rocket reader. well a few things i learnt from it. first of all make sure u sleep well b4 the day of exam. bcos u really read much more quickly if u can open ur eyes widely and concentrate. currently i cant read up to 25 letters at a flash, but normally i can. shows tt i'm tired. and another thing. brackets slow down ur reading cos u haf to reread to see wat the brackets refer to... very interesting...

anyway there are no more commercial flights for the concorde. and they're sure abt transforming them into museums. so sad right... i only saw one real one in my life, at JFK (think it was a BA one) and i din even see it fly. oh well, no more... the next time perhaps i'd be inside looking at exhibits.. haha. anyway this shows us that technology, no matter how advanced it might have seemed initially, can easily become obsolete. well, i guess the concorde is still the fastest commercial plane nowadays, with its normal cruising speed above the speed of sound, but the demand of travelling by the concorde has decreased drastically. this isnt surprising considering the fact that the enormous costs of the concorde's maintenance and operation are transferred to the passengers, who could very well travel to the same destination within a slightly longer period of time, but paying much less for the flight ticket. it's a pity that the two airlines (ba/af) had to withdraw the concordes from commercial service only after revamping the plane and improving its safety features. and the concorde will never get to meet the A380... haha. boeing's plan for a supersonic plane was scrapped too, right?

9:49 p.m. - 2003-05-31

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let's try it again. this entry's to make sure tt the comments dun appear on every single entries' comments box

9:10 p.m. - 2003-05-31

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just trying out the comments box. hope it works

9:09 p.m. - 2003-05-31

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finally. (haha anyway tml i'd be able to use my broadband again. hopefully i dun finish the time too soon). anyway the connection is so bad tt u can only load a page at one time / or use kazaa only / or log in to msn only. wat a very lousy connection. i wonder how ppl w/o broadband survive (think i've asked this a few times)

wat a sumptuous dinner. ate 3 $2 notes. not bad. ice jelly / kangkong/brinjal/kourou rice / ice cream / kitkat white chunky. wow. really filling.

anyway i liked chorale today, for a few reasons. (though i was late for like 5 minutes... i decided to adjust my watch to 3 minutes ahead of the actual time, but in the end i decided tt tt was simply cheating myself. might as well just force myself to leave my hse earlier. right? actually today i already gave myself ample time. it's just the stupid bus.) anyway b4 i 4get i saw 2 primary schmates. yup in the morning it was xinpei at the bus stop, at night when entering backgate saw alvin heng weida!!! haha well hafent seen him in ages..

okok back to chorale. really i felt it was nice. for a few reasons. (sounds familiar doesnt it) when i went for sectionals it was with mr kelvin, mohan, alexander, yechao, aaron. small grp of rather nice ppl. ok tt doesnt mean tt the tenors arent nice ppl; they are. but i feel more comfortable wif these ppl. dunno y. yar but at tenor sectionals i actually feel a bit erm stiff? not really enjoying myself? i dunno. (i oso do realise tt i'm linked to the chorale blog... :S) perhaps it's the pieces as well. i really like the jazz piece... partially cos i get to sing pretty low notes. haha. and den i managed to les fleurs opening as well. oh and i'm going to sing iddemdem bass part for some parts. at first i thought it'd b gd, sometimes i haf problems reaching e. but decided hai, now i cant feel as excited as b4, cos the E was rather exciting. and the other thing is "one of those bells, tt now and then RINGS!" and out comes our dung-dang-dung-vibrato. lol mr toh culdnt resist laffing. he just broke out into laffter b4 we culd finish the note. oh and another thing is we were in the ultra cold music room, and u culd see red pretty flowers on a tree outside, and it just didnt feel like singapore. and i oways like the feeling of not being in sg. like a holiday? like japan? perhaps.

anyway someone pls rescue my english.

8:20 p.m. - 2003-05-31

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yup today was quite an eventful day. first of all finally met zhini again on the bus dis morning. and den mr chiau (if tt's how u spell his name) came down and briefed the few of us in the depression (Finally figured out wat the depression is there for) yup then pe, for which our class won 4-0 soccer against 3b. quite amazing actually. and den stinked like hell but who cares. bio tutorial which we spent doing pw/other stuff. physics tutorial, haha i'm just doing as he says but it's quite ok. and i'm quite sure he noes tt i am doing as he goes along cos obviously i make remarks like aha or yes or sth. and the "haha i am listening" thingie. hm just shows tt i dun listen. well shudnt haf said it shud i... but i think he noes very well who listens and who doesnt. and i haf this feeling tt he was referring to me last time when he said u can sleep/not listen as long as u noe wat u are doing. after tt was gp which i skipped.

den ate 2 bk burgers, went back to bishan hse for a shower, b4 going for the prize giving ceremony. well it was rather awkward sitting there for like an hour and a half. esp when at the beginning there were totally no conversations. it's as though we dunno each other (ok yes we dunno each other indeed) den basically i started tokking with the guy on my right, who's highly interested in buses. well i thought there were no such ppl in this world. i mean yar it's quite interesting. cos i myself like public transport a lot. but not as crazy as him over them of cos. then tokked to ivy as well. so tt sort of ended the awkwardness i guess. gd. food was a disappointment probably bcos of a change in caterer. tokked to the japanese teachers, understood a bit of wat they were saying (ok maybe most), and den shitsu rei shimashita... cos culdnt possibly stand there forever. the thing is i had to wait for so long b4 everybody stopped tokking. budden it was like awkward again. oh well. anyway den took a taxi to police academy, saw 3c, den watched the match, wasnt exactly very exciting. well. just a few things to say. the cheering was highly uncoordinated. i'm sure the ex-prefects wuld agree wif me. i've really nver seen anything much worse than today. u haf one section of us cheering sth and the other section cheering sth else. or the same cheer but different timing, omost like a cannon. cannot all end at the same time. if u think i'm complaining abt the councillors, perhaps u're right. they shud distribute themselves more strategically. it's not abt even distribution. they shud put more small grps of ppl, and pls not too small either. individuals simply dunt work. i pity them though. rj students dun respond at all. sida and this other person was trying to sort of scold us for not responding and yet there was still no response. aiyoh! i really din noe wat to do. culdnt possibly cheer any more or my voice will go. and cos they dunt noe abt tt they stare at me thinking i'm this idiot who refuses to cheer. i'm really sorry... but i can safely tell u this. this din feel like a match support. where's the support? ppl are just there watching. esp the girls. pardon me for sort of being sexist. but yes some of the girls just cant be bothered to cheer. really.

and den there was this totally ungentlemanly guy. i was totally disgusted by his behaviour. TOTALLY. wat a total idiot. i really do hope he is not from ri. though a girl much shorter than him wants to watch the match, he chooses to occupy the chair. isnt it common sense tt EVEN if the girl declines ur offer (e.g. do u want to stand on the chair?), u shud just get lost cos obviously she wants to stand on the chair, yet she cant say tt yes i want to stand there. and den when we scored he jumped on the chair. and guess wat the chair collapsed. one of the legs died. and the other guy sharing a chair with him just fell helplessly. and guess wat he din even apologize. he continued watching the match. IDIOT. and really he IS such an idiot. look hk doesnt complain abt such things usu.

anyway unfortunately culdnt go for 4p dinner cos i was already on my 190. well. the whole trip only took 21 minutes, surprisingly... and it was great fun standing there right at the front of the bendy, head leaning onto the railing. yar really quite fun, as though we were driving. yup.

11:30 p.m. - 2003-05-30

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well. feeling more and more tired nowadays. bz. lots of work. plus play piano!!! just realised tt my fingers haf bcum erm tighter. i better practice more, otherwise god knows what will happen to me during the exam. and scales. left hand alone esp descending. oways like tt... 2 yrs already lor. come on...

10:14 p.m. - 2003-05-29

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just found a way to describe wat's happening to me. it's as though i'm using my credit card to spend extravagantly though my debts are piling up. and one day i'd haf to pay for it by bcuming bankrupt. oh well. and yes today mr hodge was just tokking abt begin with end in mind. anyway. thanx to hon lyn for making me start doing my hw. big thankyou. will be able to continue... anyway, a few stray points. i like the sun shining into the jap room, it feels so comfortable, and cos it's not hot, it really feels gd. dunno how to describe lar. anyway then wrote "liao4" on the whiteboard and guess wat, it din look like my handwriting, i was so impressed wif myself tt it looked so stylish. haha. really, looks like sy handwriting. i realise tt different girls schools apparently produce a different set of handwritings. apparently for boys schools there is no common pattern. and finally just now when doing trigo i wrote down cos(t) and den i saw cost, and i thought i was doing sth wrong. apparently not.

9:11 p.m. - 2003-05-29

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Dear Ms. King,

Please refer to our email dated January 10, 2003 concerning the above subject. We have requested the Tourist Police to look into this matter on your behalf. According to their report, there are two private sectors have allowed to operate this business for the tourists taking the photos together with a Thai customary dance figures for 40.- Baht per 1 time at Wat Arunrachawararam. They have shown the price on the board at the lower part of the figures. In this regard, the police reprimanded and warned the merchants to make the clear new price signs in order to prevent thing such as this happen again. Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention and we are very sorry if this matter caused you any inconvenience.

Tourist Assistance Centre --mv.(Tac.617/45)Tourism Authority of Thailand (http://www.tat.or.th)

a few things interesting abt this email. first of all i just received it. second of all they actually responded. third of all they think i'm ms king. hong king sounds rather female? hm. i thought ppl used to call me ms wu on the phone cos my voice hadnt broken at that time, but now even on email? haha well, feels like i'm back to sec 1 again or sth

9:01 p.m. - 2003-05-28

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ah intended to sleep at 8.30. look at the time! die. must really sleep. very tired. at the expense of maths tutorial. i guess i'll wake up to do it tml.

8:55 p.m. - 2003-05-28

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just came back from gp. guess wat. wunt pass it. the essay i wrote last fri gave me a 25/50. so today's essay, which was definitely much worse, might give me a 15. the compre wasnt tt bad, just tt i din finish my summary (did my application qn though) yar. but i really dun think i can pass. oh well.

for bio at least i'm quite pleased wif my marks. passed. haha to think tt i was hoping for an A... :S ok nothing much today. shall go do tutorials

6:23 p.m. - 2003-05-28

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hey hk how culd u 4get? ur bio practical can be considered to be more or less successful today!!! haha, first time in how many practicals? dun want to remind myself of sad things... haha.

9:52 p.m. - 2003-05-27

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my legs are starting to ache. from 2.4. anyway. during pw. o my god tt teacher kept eye contact with me. without fail. and the thing is i just found wateva she said funny. it's sth like y weili and eric were smiling away. sth like aiyah y are u telling us all these, we already noe these. or perhaps wat to do she still wants to continue telling us all these. so basically i wanted to laff. but i cant. cos she stared at me. continuously. well sometimes she might look at ying heng or sunni, but most of the time it was me, for two reasons. one is i'm right in front of her, in the middle of the class. the other? ms lee said "hong king's grp" and so she happens to noe my name. oh well. found it so hard to not laff.

and den it was maths lecture. today really seems like a laffing day. eric started drawing her. and den well looks quite a like. and then the rememble the numble (pls "chain" the "le" to "er") for some time i had to hold up my notes to hide my face. but i guess i was shaking and tt looked more suspicious and if she decides to investigate and haha she see's her portrait. oh well i dunno wat she'd say. haha so yes it was a funny day indeed.

it just occurrred to me at 4+ tt the gp common test is tml. hm. i heard tt many other classes were mugging in the library. so. wat does tt mean?!?! i'm just afraid of one thing. tt this score wuld affect my taking of 'S' papers. i dunno. i hope not. i place the probability tt i will fail at 52%. cant be too pessimistic after all. passing is just 50%. i really really hope i pass.

next thing. xuxu was asking me abt some maths stuff, and i realised tt i din noe the answer to her questions before she asked, but i eventually understood while trying to find an explanation. very very good. ok shall see wat i can do to improve my chances of passing. perhaps it's just 1 or 2% but it's worth trying... :)

8:54 p.m. - 2003-05-27

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haha just found this. very interesting. real life/time example of wat we study... anyway i'm quite sure this whole thing is new. cos i noe when i was trying to mug for 'o's these werent ard click here

Magnitude 7.0 NEAR EAST COAST OF HONSHU, JAPAN 2003 May 26 09:24:33 UTC Location 38.89N 141.51E Depth 69.2 kilometers

This thrust earthquake occurred near the north-east shore of the island of Honshu, Japan. In this region, the convergence of the Pacific plate and the Eurasian plate generates numerous earthquakes. Given the earthquake's fault mechanism and depth, it likely resulted from slip on the boundary between the subducting Pacific plate and the overlying Eurasian plate. The surface expression of this contact is the north-south trending Japan trench which is about 220 km east of the epicenter. The Pacific plate is moving west at a rate of about 9 cm per year relative to the Eurasian plate. and do visit the following sites. they are all interesting: click here click here ** click here

anyway the reason y i suddenly found this (it's not surprising of me to do this is it) is bcos i realised mr algeria, ms japan, ms phillipines, mrs indonesia all had rather large earthquakes and i was thinking tt mr eurasian plate must be rather angry. haha well. dun ask me y i "ms" some and "mrs" some and "mr" some. i just had tt feeling tt they are what i say they are. wateva. dun criticise my english just bcos tml's gp common test. ** looks ard in disbelief. ppl from other classes are well prepared! and we are well prepared too. to fail. oh well. haha.

7:48 p.m. - 2003-05-27

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hey. realised i dun every touch my jap stuff at home. and tt means i basically read the stuff for the 4 hrs tt i'm at the lesson. which makes me wonder. is tt the ideal studying situation? not really, u're supposed to go home and revise a bit. but look at the other tutorials. do u do tt? no. u dun learn much from it and u've to do everything at home cos it's impt. i guess i'd hafta even this out. make sure i do both.

10:19 p.m. - 2003-05-26

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haha. just finished dinner (*oh my god how long did u eat for? 2 hours?!?! :S) yar had a pretty heated debate abt singapore and how ppl are kiasi and how the sars thing is causing fear etc. then realised one thing. i'm defending singapore. as much as i want to say hey i'm not defending singapore, i am. i know i am, but i tell myself i am not. of wat use is tt? hm. very interesting. it's actually not so much of a realisation tt i haf bcum very much a singaporean, i have realised tt since long ago. it's more of how a typical singaporean wuld think. --- basically tt the singapore government is highly influential. no dunt sue me pls. (nothing to sue abt anyway) basically wat happens is, bcos the government is over-protective, singaporeans are often kiasi. well. tt's a well-known fact isnt it? a very gd example is tt of sars. rather stay at home than go out. u read this and u think, y not, after all ur life is more impt than anything else. tt's right. tt's the singaporean mentality. u have it and u dun realise it. well. the truth is this mentality will bring us nowhere. and another thing. we tend to say WE are the best. OTHERS are not as good. the next moment? WE are the best (e.g. airport). WE are the best (e.g. handling of sars crisis). i dun blame the gov for glorifying itself. i think it shud. i really think all countries shud. i mean who wuld want to say we're doing badly. u'll get the 'boo's from ur ppl. but the thing is by oways saying tt we are the best, we really think we are the best, and we think tt we are the best. (highly repetitive eh) and so we really tend to think tt the rest of the world is nothing. oh well. not a gd way to survive in this world.

anyway another thing. haf u ever wondered y 4-legged animals walk the way they walk? as in like everytime u'll see two legs together. dunt u find it weird? try it urself n u'll noe y. there's no other way u can walk apart from this one which will not cause u to topple to one side. think abt it.

oh yar b4 i 4get, this afternoon i walked out of secret recipe. then i walked back in for the toilet. then when i walked out again it's damn dejavu. just tt it really is happening again.

9:26 p.m. - 2003-05-26

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i'm starting to get irritated with technology and computers. a few things. first of all stupid blogger has irritated not once but twice. first was when i set up the class blog. used like one whole day of my time and yet nothing came out. i was abt to smash the screen ok... and den now i click template and nothing comes out. y cant i stand it? cos u noe u did nothing wrong, in fact u've tried every thing possible to try and see what went wrong. and the conclusion? there's sth wrong wif the link. or else the server. or else ur comp doesnt meet their minimum requirements. and the thing is u can do nothing to solve tt. isnt it simply irritating???????? and now cos my broadband time has come close to zero i'm using narrowband again, i keep signing in and yet i get signed out. and the loading speed is SO SLOW!!!! goodness knows how ppl survive without broadband.

actually. this whole complaint of mine just shows sth. (another e.g. like the inability to find sth on the net, or complaining tt some org doesnt haf a website) tt i'm getting really too used to the convenience of things, so much so tt i cant survive w/o it. we're taking the convenience for granted. but i guess it's inevitable. bcos it's this convenience tt allows us to live our life fuller. and so our time gets more and more packed, with much reliance on technology to sort things out/make things efficient. and when technology fails us, it's chaos. well. tt's quite sad of us human beings. yar really. can imagine myself dying if i dun haf a comp. budden again if i retreat back to nature i can oso survive everyday just looking at the water flowing down the rivers, the birds chirping away, the other insects making their own sounds. after all, i can survive with no man-made entertainment. i mean look at me. do i watch movies/tv? no. do i read newspapers? no. but i try to force myself to. do i read books? never. so u c. i can just very well entertain myself wif my blog entries which i'll carve on the walls of my caves. yes tt's wat i'll do. wat a nice life tt wuld be. and me singing in the cave yar, with nice acoustics and all. gd. looking forward to this...

anyway. i realised i've quite a bit of commitment now. well. thanx slightly to the new addition of salvation army stuff. well b4 i tok abt tt. today:

(looks for handphone. u c. i remember wat happens in the day by writing smses in my fone. look another usage of technology but of cos + usage of timetable to recall wat happens) PE was ok, i did 2.4 in 9.45, not my best definitely but i was still very tired at the end of it. nowadays physically i'm oways very tired, doubt i'll ever be able to run another 9.30 in years... ok then break. ate lots of stuff. but not filling. fruits and chng tng. den went to collect tt stack of @!#$%^&*( notes. well it was rather heavy. anyway. then was gp. din do anything as usual. well ok at least we learnt some transitional devices but i wonder how many of us actually remembered what we learnt? i wonder. chem tutorial spent checking whether we've done our tutorials (how stupid. which means tt we basically dun exactly haf to do it since he's not exactly going thru it anyway) and oso going thru our test. scored a wonderful 18/30. well. yar at least it's a B. luckily much marks were lost due to lack of keywords like "one more principal quantum shell" -> easily cost me 5 to 6 marks. well there were some conceptual errors as well, not too sure, so during the test there was a memory lapse. guess i'd haf to work harder. --- harder? wat harder. nver worked hard in the first place. oh well. just like wat chang mou says.

bio lecture by nah was a total. i say total. disappointment. i guess 100%-(those who already know the topic/have read up beforehand) of the ppl dint understand. what use is it to go on rambling abt this heart and this chromosome moving towards the centrioles etc and announcing in tt 'tadah' voice of his the different phases i.e. prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase. no use. fullstop. no use at all. cant possibly absorb. i guess it wuld haf been a gd revision for those who oreadi noe the topic rather well, considering tt his resources are actually not bad. his pictures. yup. then went to the library. must improve on my efficiency. spent the whole 40-10 minutes break doing the photo order list. i guess this is like once-off work, budden again yar still must improve efficiency. (oops clarissa spelt ur name wrongly. sorry.) oh anyway when leaving the LT i turned ard and saw this girl (whose name i still do not noe) who apparently was from bpps and went to nyph as well and was in 4K some more. somehow i dun recall her. and even more surprising. zhiyin from chorale was oso from 4k. tt's it man, nearly fainted, amazing. i mean how often do u get a chance to suddenly realise tt u knew some ppl thru something and yet u 4got abt it and now u're told of it. not very often i'm afraid. look at this. this 4k business is really interesting. joseph, shiming, eng seng. apparently most of tt class remembers me. and everytime i find out abt another person in tt class, i just get another shock. (haha background info: basically went to nyph for 3 months in p4 and decided it was not suitable for me so i quit. yes i quit. tt poor principal, shaking her head incessantly when i was telling her abt my leaving... - actually i wonder. wat wuld i haf bcum if i had stayed in nyph? wuld i haf still gone to ri? perhaps yar, after all most bpps go to chinese high, i was an exception. haha one thing for sure i wuld haf bcum the district commissioner for scouts...)

ok enuff on this matter. maths tutorial. ok lar acceptable, quite average mark. 26/30. tt's probably both the median and mode. but i guess i'd haf to slowly work to the top of the class. definitely. haha really. can still remember last time i used to be one of those names tt pop up in ppl's mind when the teacher says the top scorer came from our class (haha tt's usu the case, tend to be in a gd class). well at least i was a choice. it's either me or kao chin or chin siang or sb else. but now... haha. wang ning, bao luo, tianjiao, etc. well. wuld haf to make my way into tt gang soon if i want to take 's' papers. budden again perhaps our whole class is ok.

next, went to secret recipe, had my ice cream brownie, it was damn nice at first, but by the time i reached the end it was simply too sweet, nearly wanted to puke. tt's y i had to ask for water. usu i wunt ask for water unless i need it absolutely. well but just to let others try it next time i din show my erm suffering? haha not so bad lar. then suddenly it occurred to me tt i culd call ms chee. and so i did, catching a 75, walking to the salvation army centre. and had a talk with her. and guess wat. i'm plunging into this, not totally without an idea of wat i'm going to do, but rather having no idea what i'm exactly going to gain from it, whether i'll be able to cope, etc. yar it really sounds like a lot of commitment and responsibility. it's not just some go there and teach and then go type of thing. i'm going there to befriend these children who are relatively slow in learning - this is sort of meant to be confidential info apparently. i'd be playing games with them etc. somehow i just dunno how i'm going to do it. hafent been in touch with children for a very long time, and the thing is i cant really come up with games or conversation topics. i'm used to tt with ppl my age, considering how i just tok to ppl whom i dunt noe at all. yar so this'd be a challenge. e.g. i wuld be bringing the children on a hike from bkt panjang to bkt timah nature reserve. and mind u these are primary school kids. i've experience of bringing jc kids who are independent and all :P peirce yar (haha i really think tt u guys are a bit over-worried, u all shud just trust me.) so u c tt's it not just a matter of go there and give them assignments to do while i do my own hw. nope it doesnt work tt way. plus my june hols' gonna be bz, so i dunno how i'm going to cope. really. plus common tests coming up i cant possibly screw them up. so let's see how it goes. oh and it oso suddenly occurred to me tt i culd tutor kids from bpps. after all it's my alma mater. yar. can u noe, trying to contact mr sitoe right now, i noe they have quite a number of programmes...

cip aside (hey i'm not totally doing it for "s" points ok. of cos i got this idea bcos of tt but i think i really want to do sth meaningful)

and just a comment / quotes b4 i continue with wat i shud be doing daily with effect from today. it is strange to note tt when u're early for ur work, i.e. u do ahead of the teacher, it's much easier to do more. while u lag, u tend to give up easily due ur being demoralised. so therefore i shall just go and do ahead so tt there is motivation for me to do more. hope tt this cycle really works. so i'd haf to get out of this bad cycle first of cos. ok quotes which i read from salvation army: THE BEST STUDENT STUDIES WHAT HE DOES NOT KNOW, NOT WHAT HE KNOWS. haha i think there's some truth to tt. but i guess u still haf to study wat u noe right. of cos it's trying to make the point tt u shudnt just be restudying wat u already noe and refuse to step into new territory. next. I am a slow walker but I never walk back. probably seen elsewhere, but yar i shud use tt to encourage myself. lastly, the one from the jap serial i watched ages ago: "san jippun shika nai jyanakute, san jippun mo aru" translation: not "we have nothing but 30 minutes" but "we have as much as 30 minutes". just the perspective of looking at things. actually i think this quote screwed up my o level mugging quite a bit. cos i kept telling myself i have so much time while in actual fact i dint, budden again perhaps this year i can make use of this quote in the right way.

finally. the things to do. basically i'm intending to read the asian wall street journal everyday. for a few reasons. the vocab they use are not in my vocab. it's chimmer than straits times' cos it's pitched at a higher level... yar, so it shud help in my building of vocab. + the worldwide news section is pretty short and sweet, can find out abt main events quickly. gd. and den i shall attempt to read the sat word list everyday as well. and yar occassionally the grammar bk. yup tt's all for now. wat a long entry

5:55 p.m. - 2003-05-26

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went to the food court just now, and i pity those stalls which cant seem to sell their stuff. wat do they do? throw them away? and den the next day they buy less so tt they'd haf to throw less away? so sad. and there are those who are forced to sell sth else and not their specialty. how sad.

then at ntuc saw this idiotic kid throwing oranges. well. his father wasnt exactly the worst possible but he dint stop tt kid of his. wat a father.

9:18 p.m. - 2003-05-25

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hm ok. not very fruitful morning. but well prepared to start a gd day. wuld haf to start treating tutorials seriously. i.e. as though they wuld be handed up. cos mr ho was commenting "wah this is ur work meh? i thought it is very neat?" yar so i really must improve yar. actually for maths it's still ok lar, cos only t7 and now 10(a) budden again for 10(a) hafent really started so it's ok. it's more for physics... getting worse everyday. chemistry is still ok i guess. for bio i'm not exactly using foolscap paper any more. oh well. let's try to improve

10:55 a.m. - 2003-05-25

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just realised tt this morning when speaking to mr toh i was attempting to use proper english. funny huh. why dun i just use proper english normally... :(

11:36 p.m. - 2003-05-24

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feel quite gd. i cleared my room and tried to introduce some sort of organisation. yar feel rather organised.

10:48 p.m. - 2003-05-24

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anyway realised i'm really weird. as in. ok today my trip home was weird. wat did i do. i got out of the train at cck, and went out from a different door as serene, thinking tt she lives in cck. (got confused u c) so i ended up just walking and walking towards the lrt, while poor serene apparently was shouting after me (i din even hear a thing) and ok finally figured out tt yes she lives in bkt panjang. then her train arrived, and she got on it while i stayed in the station. just b4 the doors closed i rushed in. why? cos i thought tt it was too hot at the station, the scorching sun was shining in. so i decided to get into the train. thought it made perfect sense.

anyway. do we realise tt we smile much less nowadays compared to a few years back. maybe this is not applicable to everybody, but it sure is to me. haf to figure out wat is going wrong for me.

8:34 p.m. - 2003-05-24

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ok my 5 minute limit is going. tt's a gd sign. meaning i wuld start work soon. anyway. today was quite interesting. went to take 156, thought it was the bus tt i oways took when i was still living in cashew heights. so complicated right. license plate SBS1952Y anyway saw matthew sng on it, yar and so envious tt he can go overseas for 5 whole weeks for research. not bad. i shud haf applied for all these. might not get past the interviews but at least i tried. too late. anyway during the rehearsal the ambassador cup receivers made their speeches, i liked the sound of french very much, perhaps i shud haf learnt it. or rather. perhaps i can learn it! haha. den german. dun exactly like the sound of it but hey tt girl made such an impressive speech. the content was just so impressive. yar. oh then just walked back to j8. took a look at seiyu/ntuc, bought sushi + bread from crystal jade. den went to mrt station to wait for 156. the project butterfly ticket seller came again. yet another indian. i wonder y. as in no this is not meant to be a racist remark. cos the organisation tt is benefitting is by right a muslim organisation and i guess the majority are malays? and the other thing is, i asked him y it's no longer valid, then he said the sponsor had changed??? like what sense does tt make?!? i still believe it's a fraud. really. anyway continue. i saw some buses which i hadnt seen for ages, such as 13 and 88. yar and den the whole walking cycle was so nice oso, reminds me totally of sec 4 life. as in like getting off from tt bus stop, just tt i walk the other way. like when i go for third lang after i go home on fridays. yar. den cross the road, down tt stretch of road, passing by the stadium entrance, girl guides, den bus stop with some empty land bhind, den finally the side gate. den when going home, across the field, through the bus interchange. it's just so familiar.

anyway then mr toh gave me a lift, and well of cos we had a few small conversations. which i thought was rather gd. as in. i sort of got to know him as a person. and the result of tt? during practice i make an extra effort to listen and not tok, etc, bcos i respect him as an individual whom i noe, and not as the conductor of my cca. see the difference? yar it really helps. anyway i thought i managed to sing quite well today, wonder y. but culdnt sightsing the jazz piece, while the girls all seemed to be able to do so. quite demoralising yar. but not too bad actually, considering the difficulty level of our line. not easy... yar let's really go for this piece. oh reginald commented on my "singing voice being sometimes too far at the back of the throat, will stick out for choir" and tells me to "smile more and i will look much more pleasant". makes me wonder y i've stopped smiling nowadays. yar. i used to smile quite a lot when singing. but actually it's now tt i really enjoy the music. then y is it tt i dun smile any more? i think i've an explanation. perhaps i'm singing the music. smiling aint exactly part of the music, it isnt part of the interpretation. i must look at the video lar to see exactly how serious i look when singing...

anyway feeling very full now after eating and drinking so much. 119 pounds. wow. yar and i dunt feel well. think i shall sleep.

7:08 p.m. - 2003-05-24

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look hk ever since syf ur work's been lagging. in fact it was since the beginning of this term. or if u want to trace it further, it was the starting of the march holidays. how long more do u think u can lag? huh? no longer my friend. it's not just abt lagging tutorials, it's also abt understanding lectures. u've been going for tutorials, but u dun exactly learn anything cos u dun listen well enuff. den what's the point of going to school? (dunt u think tt's such a gd and hard-to-answer question?) alright? all i noe is i'm just working downwards, almost constantly now, results dropping, wat else can happen to me? come on. Rejuvenate urself and force urself to catch up. only then can u go back to the "prepared" state. promise tt u'd do a gd job tml, tt u will definitely clear all the tutorials and un-understood stuff tml. cos this is not for the sake of clearing them, but rather, it is to "pave the way" for future lectures. dun kill urself during the common tests. remember ur promises.

8:39 a.m. - 2003-05-24

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what a day. pretty interesting. started off with me taking the later bus, and yet still catching up with zhini in the end. but haha no we shall not end up taking this bus. cos. we will be late if we continue the trend of boarding a later bus. oh well what to do. it's human nature not to wake up early. ok at least hk nature.

yar then it was pe. decided to brisk walk the first 2 warm up rounds. and guess wat was it tiring... and another 4 rounds. at the end of it i was totally exhausted. quite unlike me. but i was really tired even b4 pe. so i really felt unwell and just sat down by the track, (eventually lied down) and it was quite interesting. cos the sound of ppl shouting to each other, the sound of shoes rubbing against grass, they were all muted. seems so far yet so near. quite an interesting effect. anyway i was sweating profusely at tt moment, and decided to walk back to the canteen. and i thought someone passed me the ball. ok correction by lester. the ball went to me. of cos nobody wuld pass it to me. but still. how stupid is this. when i want to leave i get to touch the ball and yet when i want to touch it i dunt get to do so. oh well.

then there was all the tutorials. comparatively action-less. (oh 2-10 is an oven) qa was pretty well explained by fluorine. used the nitrite ion to wash the iodine tt left a stain on my fingers. it worked. haha. now i'll remember this reaction forever. and yar at the end i tried teh -57kJmol-1 equations, not bad, it does give out quite a lot of heat. yup then went for geog soc. farewell party they call it. well i guess so. one thing worth noting however is i was a "reserve". i happened to catch a glimpse of the running-for-posts form and well this gave me just a little bit of self-confidence. no i dun call it ego. as in it doesnt boost my ego very much, it just lets me haf this feeling tt ok my capability is recognised.

den. walked out with matthew to mrt. well matthew was tokking abt how ms lee went to their class and gave a wrong mcq answer and took quite a while b4 realising her mistake. made me realise tt i'd haf to work extra hard on my own for bio and chem, esp if i want to take s papers for both this subjects. (i hope i've put this very subtly) anyway on the way out met honlyn. and basically went to buy waffle (which was ultra dry. horrible) honlyn and matthew apparently were in the same class. it was just a bit awkward, when nobody noes who to tok to. ah well. oways happen when u haf someone noeing 2 ppl rather well, but these 2 dunno each other well. den was tokking, and found out tt grace is from hk!!!!!!!!! am i shocked... will haf to tok to her in cantonese one day. definitely. den the next surprise came, saw mr thia. haha who is mr thia u ask? the guy who brought us to hokkaido. yar amazing how i saw him at the stairs leading to the underpass (i seem to haf seen someone else there b4 but i cant recall who. i noe i met mr jee at the carpark there) then walk walk walk 2 minutes later saw ms kwek siew hoon (in charge of GEP camp 2001, tt's how i noe her) dragging this suitcase along. (and recall tt me and matthew were the blur grp leaders of grp 10 i think. how very coincidental)

then went to esplanade right. (saw melvin jiamin teng kok on the way) ok find it amazing tt they (the library) actually haf so many scores. tried checking for the saint saens score but nope they din haf it. den i happened to flip open a schubert klaviersonaten and aha saw my exam piece. looked ard, then found the spring sonata. feel like borrowing it. but i think there's a membership fee of $20.80. not until i haf a fotocopying machine at home will i pay tt fee for one year. haha. i'm really pretty impressed. then went for the small "briefing" the organist had. well basically cos i was late all i learnt from it was tt there are apparently 2 sets of pipes and one is flatter than normal and one is sharper than normal so when u play both together there is subtle vibrato. interesting right. and there is another set of keyboard? tt is electronically linked to the actual one, positioned on stage so tt she can see lan shui. actually think this makes it less real. as in as though she was just playing using the computer or sth. aha and den everything ended (the chinese pieces were rather interesting) and guess wat. another surprise. saw chicken rice auntie at the bus stop. and surprise. she lives in bkt panjang too. wat a surpriseful day.

11:39 p.m. - 2003-05-23

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all i noe now is i'm extremely tired. will fall sick any moment. just hope not.

11:23 p.m. - 2003-05-22

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all i noe now is i'm extremely tired. will fall sick any moment. just hope not.

11:23 p.m. - 2003-05-22

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mr khoo said, "imagine you were to have your chem common test next week, the full A level paper. how would you feel, how do you think you'll score?"

"but we haven't finished the syllabus. maybe...15, 20%?"

"that's pretty good isn't it, 20%. it's exactly the same for gp. you're going to take the whole paper, but you haven't learnt all the skills yet. so don't be too, unduly worried"

9:33 p.m. - 2003-05-22

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today learnt the art of erm writing things halfway and falling asleep. ok maybe i din exactly learn it today. had it since long ago. but it's amazing witnessing it happening to yingheng and wang ning. during chem lect. apart from tt nothing interesting, basically stayed back and watched other pw grps doing their work while i was slacking away. VERY VERY TIRED, REALLY NEED TO SLEEP.

9:24 p.m. - 2003-05-22

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a few things to say today. first of all i really liked mr nah's lecture, as in it was rather funny thruout. but perhaps some ppl are right to point out tt he's overly casual. perhaps. anyway yar gp we were supposed to do the intro for our essay, apparently i dint. nvm abt tt. chem was quickly done, though obviously i culdnt understand the english of the last 2 questions and so i culdnt possibly do them (not tt i actually tried them at home cos i din haf the time) but yar when i did try them they din make sense at all.

then went to ghim moh. first of all. bena started tokking into the fone. "i'm at ghim moh. ghim moh. *holds mouth closer to phone. ghim moh. *tries tokking louder. ghim moh." then meanwhile my fone rings. kaochin or jun ming asks where are u "i'm at ghim moh" soon after wei li answers "i'm at ghim moh" as well. rather entertaining. then bought a $2 charity thingie. well i thought it was a fake. i mean why shud tv innovations let tt thingie be a discount voucher and only be valid until 30th april when they sell it only in may?? and it isnt printed on normal non-glossy paper. etc. so went to the police. so tt guy called the org up. apparently they exist. oh well.

den went back to RI. realised this. ri teachers are generally more long winded and so as a result u tend to fall asleep whenever u enter the hall. finally i oso realise tt we have generally bcum more mature. or at least the ppl who went back. i really think so. glad to see tt. and when we saw mr toh tokking to the sec 1s to 4s, it just sounds diff from when he toks to us. yar. he does treat us as young adults. not bad not bad. oh anyway i'm going for the saint saens organ symphony $14 but i think it'll be gd

9:30 p.m. - 2003-05-21

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wonderful site on dna

11:50 p.m. - 2003-05-20

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okok. look introducing 5 minute limits. exciting isnt it, haf to do everything as quickly as possible. anyway figured out tt i use the internet for at least 40+ hrs each month and thus the comp for at least 60 hrs each month. well, considering the amt of time i actually haf at home, tt's a lot!!! the thing is i dun even haf time nowadays to read the news, and imagine the time i'd need to build up my vocab. i think no matter wat i must force myself to do tt. too pathetic otherwise. alright? okok. and mr toh is so kind, offered to give me a lift back to rj after moelc prize presentation rehearsal. anyway. today's maths test wasnt good considering the careless mistakes i made. and well physics lecture wasnt gd either since i wasnt listening/understanding. bio prac din even do at all, isnt tt wonderful. well. yar i guess so. and jap there's this big stack of kanjis. oh well. then wat else. come home do nothing but pw. but at least i did sth lar hor.

11:15 p.m. - 2003-05-20

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freaking hot! above 30�C u noe... i dunno if my clinical thermometer cheated... it registered 32.6�C. oh my god is all i can say. wat has this earth bcum??

10:25 p.m. - 2003-05-19

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ok today i've not been up to any good, was basically organising my stuff. tt's abt it. no studying for maths test or doing tutorials. will start now but the problem is i'm feeling sleepy. anyway took a look at GEP goals. see how many of them u think have been achieved.

The goals of the GEP are as follows: to develop intellectual depth and higher level thinking / to nurture productive creativity / to develop attitudes for self-directed lifelong learning / to enhance the child's aspirations for individual excellence and fulfilment / to develop a strong social conscience and commitment to serve society and nation / to develop moral values and qualities for responsible leadership

Content Enrichment: extends beyond the basic syllabus in breadth and depth / covers more advanced topics whenever necessary / caters more to individual needs and interests / integrates different subject areas/disciplines / encourages the investigation of real life problems / promotes the examination of affective issues in the various subject areas.

Process Enrichment: develops higher level thinking skills / provides opportunities for discovery learning / provides for open-ended problem solving / teaches research skills for independent study / uses varied teaching strategies to cater to different learning styles / provides for small group activities and peer teaching / provides for hands-on experiences

Product: encourages the presentation of what has been learnt in a variety of ways / provides for creative expressions

The GEP Learning Environment: provides a supportive and learner-centred environment / supports risk-taking / provides a stimulating physical environment / provides out-of-school learning experiences e.g. field trips, mentorships, and community involvement programmes.

any comments? tag pls. suddenly i feel really proud to be a gep, as in it just feels like once a gep oways a gep type of thing. i dunno. think. wuld i be who i am now if i had not entered gep? perhaps not. i dunno. perhaps i wuld haf bcum better. who noes? still remember when mrs cheah told us the second intake abt the gep. ok i dun remember the details, but we were in the english studio. andy: ignorant ignorant. lol. yes andy wong from 1so3f. yeah. mrs cheah. watched us grow up. sigh. shud go visit her some day, i.e. this coming wednesday. and mrs yap and mr ong and everybody. feel so nolstagic, feel tt ri was such a gd part of my life (after all. i used to think otherwise). perhaps bcos the girls were tokking abt their rg life this morning. but actually i dun think so. it's bcos i stumbled upon the gep page. anyway yar, sitting at the wooden tables b4 prelims, mugging away (or perhaps attempting to mug) going to the library, going to lt3, going to third floor, sleepwalking from 2nd floor circular area - a term now no longer used. to the 4p classroom, wateva else. a trip to the roof, sitting on top of the atrium and walking across the ceiling bars (no, not me i wunt do such a dangerous act) going into staff room two bottom to find ms fong, enjoy the air con, blow test tubes, go to the labs, go to find mrs d cruz but nver succeeding, instead look at stuff at the archives, the letter racks, the canteen, the chicken rice auntie, the bookshop, the toilet above the rifle range, the gryphon's lair, the track and how u see double decker buses passing by as though they were normal cars, the round stone stools at the other end of the track, the taps at the side of the stadium steps, the astroturf, the podium (and how i sang salute ur alma mater and cracked) and the stupid stairs by the lt which makes everybody walk an unnecessarily long distance, the bottom floor classrooms with grilles, the music lab (in fact i dun recall it as tt, it's more "ml" with its wooden structures and keyboards and ms chiangs, the library at the side of course, the EVERYTHING. hai. RI... miss u. will be coming on wednesday... and bishan hse too. hai. okokokokokokok too much time on this liao. shud start on project work at least. cu. 9.11

8:59 p.m. - 2003-05-19

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quite pissed tt the entry was deleted. anyway the gist of it was tt i was wondering abt whether mr toh even accepted me on 15th mar, yet 2 months later i'm totally used to choir and well everybody shud noe me and i noe everybody. gd. shows my adaptability and flexibility yar. den i had PE today. napfa, and the gd news is: I PASSED IT!!!! i actually did 3 pull ups. ok perhaps bluff a bit but hey tt's like a total improvement from 0 at the beginning of the year. oh well. really deserve encouragement. ok den gp, not very interesting, but rather constructive, considering tt we actually came up with an introduction (ok perhaps usu ppl can do things but i usu dunt). anyway it just shows tt i am very observant. yar really. and i actually tried to avoid any embarassing situation by turning away but ppl just arent quick enuff. but actually wat so secretive abt it, it's just part of body cycles. yar wuldnt u think so? chem was quick, at least i managed to finish the questions thanx to zhini's advice of just charging straight ahead. well, it slipped my mind tt p4 < s8 > Cl2 but nvm tt's at most 3 marks. then bio lecture, ok at least i attempted to and i think i managed to understand it. maths tutorial was rather constructive since i was organising my stuff (my files were bursting. i'm taking ee sang's suggestion to use a ring file instead) oh yes i actually just left a question blank, i cant believe it... went home. well, been unproductive even up till now (6.53) urgh

6:19 p.m. - 2003-05-19

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andrew made a gd point. our row must haf been quite distracting. with yechao, me and sicheng all moving our heads. plus reginald and his head as well. and conrad oso i think. not sure abt the rest, but i guess we're really moving all the time... haha

10:47 p.m. - 2003-05-18

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oopsie spending too much time on the comp. when i'm supposed to be well doing my chem stuff. haha. anyway. went for the concert in the end. wuld haf regretted if i din go (how wuld i noe if i din go... nvm) anyway yar. it was a rather interesting concert. but let me start with describing the place. it's as though u left singapore, everything is so high, far away from hdb blocks -> which basically usu. give u the feeling tt u're in singapore. and it's so deserted. it just doesnt feel like singapore at all... really u noe. i cant imagine tt place full of ppl. it just seems like some thailand or malaysian project abandoned halfway. (just tt everything is really clean) i dunno. but i like tt feeling actually. yar the feeling tt i left singapore. and then even the road leading towards it doesnt feel like singapore, so empty... really really i like tt feeling a lot (ok i guess u get the idea) sso performed 7? pieces i think. ard there. i felt tt the mike din pick up enuff of the music from the low strings (esp the cello) side... (oh i finally realised tt when string players try to tune their strings u hear a perfect fifth.) if i'm not wrong there was little use of the brass instruments. i can tell when the flute is playing. rather obvious. dun laff. sometimes i cant tell who is playing. oh the conductor came in on a white horse which din exactly like us cos we were clapping away. liked the dunno-wat-hoedown. quite interesting. and den another interesting thing: during the carmen i think, a baby started shrieking behind us, and guess wat i tot tt a speaker behind us was suddenly turned on, cos he was shrieking at the same pitch as wat the violins were playing! haha. well. wat a coincidence. oh yes another thing singapore audience really has insufficient response, during the last piece when the conductor turned ard to tell us to clap along, we did respond, but most stopped after a while, and he had to turn ard again to tell us to clap. (haha and we din follow his tempo i guess... plus we din cut off when he did at the end. oops. so we just continued clapping, made it a bit more random to bcum applause for the gd performance.) and the emcee asked a few questions in an attempt to involve the audience, but he had to answer his own questions quickly so tt it doesnt seem too awkward tt nobody responds. oh well. anyway it was rather cooling where we were sitting cos there was tt fan blowing water into us.

8:37 p.m. - 2003-05-18

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u noe. 2003-03-28 @ 9:38 p.m. abt the cancelling of the concert. sad to say i feel glad. why? so i dun haf to work so hard to memorise. not really actually if i had to do it i wuld. it's more of how i feel left behind / out, how everyone is involved in some committee, be it ticketing, or just the banner. i've done nothing at all. so in a way i get to start anew. 2003-03-29 @ 10:46 a.m. oh no. everyone's hoping for the concert. looks like i've to work on the pieces again

well. actually i still wasnt involved in any way! haha. but well i enjoyed the concert!!!! can really see my thoughts changing, esp those related to chorale

5:46 p.m. - 2003-05-18

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i think i've said this b4, but yar to those who have perfect bodies with no problems at all, no operations done b4, no chronic disease, e.g. myopia, asthma. really really do appreciate ur body. yar. u nver know when sth might just happen.

4:31 p.m. - 2003-05-18

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i am very disappointed in myself. i slept abt an hr studying chem. (ok if i were sleeping how was i studying chem.... :S) looks like i need to increase my pace...

4:22 p.m. - 2003-05-18

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30 semitones range. from low d to g. haha

10:30 a.m. - 2003-05-18

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oh yes. yesterday to the (our) right of mr toh, there was this pair of girls who were oways tokking to each other. so distracting, look at mr toh and u c sth moving behind... oh and actually i realised: usu written in programme booklet: blah blah choir/band/co got gold in blah blah blah, and are internationally recognised, receiving blah and international competitions like blah. ok. as though tt shows the standard of the choir. it basically changes every year! haha wat a gd way to bluff. anyway i'm going to turf club kranji later to listen to this concert... see if it's gd

i just realised sth. when singing, i used to oways look at ppl in the other sections, look at them smile, smile myself, and u feel the music as well. no i'm not trying to say "dunt look at the conductor" but seriously u can afford a moment or two to look at someone else and feel tt HEY we're singing together to produce this fantastic sound. noe what i mean? i recall doing tt with zheng yang. i think it makes u enjoy it much more! or perhaps maybe other ppl are oreadi doing it. wateva. i will resume doing it.

look i wrote tt on the 15th or sth. now u noe y i was looking at everything, like when the strings play, when the girls sing when we are just rotting away there. hai... isnt it much more enjoyable if u c everyone enjoying the music. oh well. i guess i haf to resume "not doing it"

9:15 a.m. - 2003-05-18

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just came back after swensens. i must say i actually feel rather happy, though i dun exactly feel high after the concert. took down the curtains, do the rest of the rubbish. not bad we cleared the lts quite quickly. haha anyway yar i screwed up my redz kur jaja (the part when t2's supposed to go to b1) and oso o my luve's near-last part. but i was quite happy with my performance, esp the iddem dem where i culd hear myself singing the dong dong ai si dong ilay rather decently. haha and the session at swensens, not bad lar, but actually i felt like singing festival sanctus from there, to impress the passers-by. oh well. wasted chance. okok sleeps.

12:16 a.m. - 2003-05-18

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erm it's quite alarming. i hafent been doing my work. i haf a chem test on monday, maths test on tuesday. and tt's all to be done on sunday. oh well wish me gd luck. best of luck hongking.

11:56 a.m. - 2003-05-17

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it's quite amazing how ppl find my site using this keywords:

surgery tampines sop syf 2002 primary choir sars jan : north rj room chorale

dunt believe right... try it on google... but since it limits u to 10 words per search, just remove 3 words at a go and see hot it goes.

8:49 a.m. - 2003-05-17

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suddenly i feel tt i smell ammonia in my nose

10:57 p.m. - 2003-05-16

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haha today was well, pretty interesting. i mean actually quite tiring cos i was (aM) very very tired, slept thru one quarter of the tutorials? budden again tt's cos the teachers werent really going thru much, they were tokking to small grps of ppl, not to the whole class, so i guess i culd sort of sleep. i better sleep early tonight.

anyway. started the day interestingly, i thought i saw terence from pri sch at a bus stop. and it's so sad, when u see someone u think u noe, yet u cant say hi to him, and then a moment later he disappears from ur view, n u wunt ever noe whether u really saw whom u thought u saw. get what i mean? quite sad... physics lecture was obviously not very useful. but at least i learnt tt there are 3 types of drag, which is indeed quite interesting. forebody, tail?, skin. yar tail esp. lowered pressure thus some force acting backwards... hm. i used not to understand y a car has to be streamlined at the front as well as the back; i used to ask my father why dunt they just haf a streamlined front and a totally vertically back? i guess this's the answer. next. pe. quote of the day from mr sya "oh i guess we'd haf to play soccer cos if u start running 2.4 now u wunt make it back in time for a soccer game". not as though i like soccer, as usual i was counting the number of times i touched the ball. at least 3f din lose. haha. lester's dead serious abt tactics and winning... anyway was a break (when i bought and ate qing tng after the bell rang... oops) bio tutorial we din go far at all, plus i was sleeping, so i really dunno wat we covered. nothing at all lar basically. physics was ok, just tt this was the time i managed to go into deep sleep for omost 1 minute. gp, finished the compre, den went to the library to get my book(s) (which i really hope i will read). break, ate yong tau foo, not bad. maths tutorial only thing i remembered was tt he used my tys and we din do qn 8 cos he cant find the transparency. chem prac was not bad, we actually finished very quickly. yar and the golden crystals are quite fascinating. and we were quite stupid to pour conc hcl into our sinks, causing tonnes of fumes to come out. (was asking wang ning y nobody has tt problem. his answer? nobody announces it to the world like i do... i guess so. but how culd u keep quiet and calm if u suddenly see the sink vomitting fumes cos of ur silly mistake of not pouring away the conc stuff inside the fume cupboard. - apparently this isnt common sense to most.) oh by the way i've been screwing up most practicals. must really do sth to help myself. den went to take a foto for geog soc. den went to paint banner? but felt very extra, esp when i cant paint the banner well (ok perhaps bcos the "sing" i was trying to paint had an undry black layer below. but still i really felt like i was simply trying to make myself feel useful though i wasnt. ah ok next time i wunt touch any artwork.)

den went for jap, and he decided he wunt teach me wat i missed, so i basically revised wat i just learnt on tuesday. well. just shows tt i dun absorb 100% during lessons. not a good sign at all! i din understand 2 things. looks like i'm missing lots of info during lessons yar... not gd not gd. anyway it was very very cold where i was sitting, i had to hold the file there to stop the wind from blowing in from the other room. den came out and tadah wat did i do? nothing really, went to the canteen for a drink, talked a bit to lusien and yaozong. (think lusien is still very much the same as he was in sec 1? as in he doesnt really think tt jokes are exactly very useful. as in he gives u tt here-u-are-telling-me-a-joke-again-when-u-noe-i'm-not-bothered-to-laff face) haha quite interesting, den had a small chat with chang mou's father. got home, chatted with reginald on the fone. VERY INTERESTING chat it was, found it incredible tt he lives his life as a childish person instead of him. in fact it must be difficult. but i guess it's fun as well, to take on another personality. well, i guess he makes a really good oldest brother, and husband as well (haha wuldnt christine think so -> oops so many christines in rj :S let's count how many i noe. siew. cheung. octaviani. li.). anyway yar was analysing the situation of the chorale now, gave me a pretty new and to me a pretty neutral perspective. i've been sort-of biased i guessm, viewing it from my viewpoint with certain things affecting the clarity of my judgment... anyway. yar he's really very interesting. cant help thinking so. i mean like just now i was just being honest and frank with him and den he tries to be frank in his childish (self? perhaps not) him while at the same time there is the real him. he was tokking abt how one of his "nvm"s was from the real him. oh my god. how complicated can it get.

ok let's sleep.

9:48 p.m. - 2003-05-16

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look at what i wrote in the class blog when hon lyn told me to sing more in class:

hey u noe wat i wuld love to sing. if i had a voice as beautiful as i had last time... i tell u it's really getting worse. my range is decreasing like hell. i dunt even dare to sing at home. (imagine...) and yar wif a few soloists here and there in choir now, i feel rather inferior... i mean after all i used to be one of the best singers. hai.

quite sad yar...

9:49 p.m. - 2003-05-15

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just came back from dinner, had a walk ard cold storage rail mall, realised i hadnt been there for ages. oso realised tt shops at rail mall are generally more interesting, non-shopping centre like. i mean nowadays u go to any shopping centre they sell almost the same things. esp if the same few chains are ard. (reminds me of tt maths lecturer who said: u chain (she meant change of course) sin blah to cos blah. i was imagining tying the two functions together using some heavy iron chain. oh well. i've a very creative imagination dunt i) anyway i realised cold storage has a much wider variety but a higher price compared to ntuc which is basically for everyone. just feel somehow tt cold storage is like sort of higher class.

it's really interesting, how ntuc wuld nver seem as high class as cold storage (ok maybe not such a big difference for this particular eg) but for example popular and borders. wat i haf observed sort of shows our culture. we are practical ppl. local shops opened are open for practical purposes: to earn money (ok wat rubbish am i saying obviously shops open for earning money). but seriously think of it, popular sells things tt sell to the larger population. popular sells stationery and assessment books (imagine seeing a popular at a mall in the US: it will nver make it to the end of its first year...) ntuc sells the most widely-used products and cheap too. u can omost never find anything special in ntucs. yar. i guess nobody much actually looks forward to a trip to ntuc or popular where u basically see what has been sold for the past decade, and no new and creative products most of the time (esp imported stuff. as in. cos singaporeans' creativity is, after all, limited, so u seldom see singapore-made-creative products). and let me give an example abt variety. in ntuc probably u're going to find no more than 4 brands/types of fries. i was so impressed just now by cold storage's one whole section of the fridge full of different types of fries. it just gives a sort of more professional feeling i guess.

8:44 p.m. - 2003-05-15

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was thinking abt how there are so many leaders in this world. i mean just look at a school. how many ccas are there? then how many schools are there? and then how many cities are there? imagine the number of leaders. x times the population of singapore, where x > 10^2? perhaps. quite interesting yar. den my question is, within singapore itself, who den bcums the ultimate ultimate leaders. i just wonder.

and yes. i keep looking at the tv msging system u noe... every time i pass it. it's SO EFFECTIVE! so much better than morning assembly announcements! (ok on second thoughts maybe there is some truth to this previous statement of mine. at least u dun haf to bask in the sun for so long) i am TOTALLY clear abt what is happening ard the school, such as the pink sars form. well done. say thanks to technology.

6:29 p.m. - 2003-05-15

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i realised tt it's quite normal for public holidays not to be holidays. yar. quite fun actually going to school when no students are on the bus and ppl give u the haha-u-forgot-tt-today-is-a-public-holiday look. anyway wat happened was i saw the 75 pass when i was still inside cashew heights, 3 minutes later a 184 came. so i thought i'd take it to try and catch the 75. it nver did. den i got off at clementi rd thinking tt i culd catch 61 as well. one more option is better than none when u know u're going to be late. oh well. ended up on a 75 again. lol.

anyway then went to the hall to find only thomas and aaron there. to think tt i thought i was late. yar den shifted the tiers (if tt's how u spell it) down to LT1 "stage". rather heavy. but i guess i'm getting stronger haha. yar then combined with the string players. it sounded quite gd, just tt lt1 being lt1, we culdnt possibly sound too gd. oh and yes i like sicheng's massage. but perhaps he can try harder next time. oh and when they announced the posts i was shaking again. somehow i feel i was the only one. as in why so nervous right, but my legs were just shaking uncontrollably, just like the other time when i was receiving the pre-u scholarship rejection letter. haha anyway. wuld really like to thank the j2s for believing in my ability, i must really really show tt i can do my job well! yup. yar actualyl i really believe i will. look. an excel file is already ready. (just tt i must admit i haf only a vague idea of wat i'm going to be doing). anyway. i think sicheng is a rather impressive person. his life seems pretty gd.

and b4 we noe it it's the fifth month into jc life. fast indeed. very. i can still remember the first day of this year when i was playing golf at the bishan driving range when sy and company were at suntec i think. i thought my life wuld just continue as it was, boring as it might be. i dunt think it's the same any more. it's not really abt going home to do hw any more. i haf sort of lost my stamina to stay ahead. i'm either just following or am being dragged along. i nver ever had any problems with teachers for meeting deadlines. i dunt now, but i foresee i will soon if i dun buck up. test-wise i guess i still am studying last minute, no improvement, but it din get worse either (e.g. no studying at all). culd improve on this of course... nowadays i go ard the school and say hi to abt 4 ppl out of 29 ppl whom i see on the corridor? i shud think so. it's definitely more than the 1 out of 20 in ri. i've bcum a responsible young kid, i really like to serve bhind the scenes. (believe me. this can be learnt.) ok. yar. quite happy today. apart from the fact tt it's now 6.04 and i haf tonnes of work to do/study for (isnt it sad tt this has bcum the norm.) i shall remain happy and enjoy wateva is left of vesak day.

4:26 p.m. - 2003-05-15

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quite interesting. forgot to say yesterday. found out tt i am the one who was rumoured to haf gotten sars in rj. unbelievable right. to think i was trying to find out who it was.

7:55 a.m. - 2003-05-15

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today actually was a pretty interesting day. bio tutorial din do much, but bio test was quite scary, with so much to write in so few lines and so little time. yar. den was gp which we did some introduction stuff and research on marshall mcluhan. still dunno who he is. but will figure out wat he said abt the global village, etc. den chem tutorial luckily we din get far so though i din exactly finish the tutorial i was safe. had lunch. had chorale. pretty short combined. sectionals. then basically went to eat at ghim moh. came back and guarded the door for 10 minutes b4 watching a la carte. i guess it was ok. i wuldnt say it was very gd, but it wasnt bad. i seriously need more xposure to music. anyway. den took reginald's cab. then took 961, upon alighting walked some 15 minutes b4 reaching home. ok be grateful i reached home.. haha.

10:50 p.m. - 2003-05-14

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tonight's weather reminds me of when i was mugging for 'o's last yr. esp history. just tt now it's bio. and yar i guess the content's much less? perhaps. and the coldness oso reminds me of my trip to japan in sec 3, or even trip to america in sec 2. and i was just reminded of my prize presentation at moelc rehearsal on the 24th. erm and to return my library book on friday. yes. it seems tt i'm pouring things out from my brain so tt there is more free space, knowing tt usu only 20 to 30% of the brain can be used...

11:21 p.m. - 2003-05-13

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ah. bz. mugging bio. started abt one hr ago i think. not bad lar. doing transport across membranes. finish quick ok... anyway still haf scores to mug tml. and yes this morning forgot to bring the graph paper/experiment paper for physics prac. maths = many formulae to remember. yup. and jap lesson pace was quite fast

9:24 p.m. - 2003-05-13

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i realised i need to follow a diet. no no no dun worry abt thin hk trying to grow thin. nono thanx. basically he must:

drink much more water than he is doing now (currently at most 3 cups a day?)

eat lots of fruits

must not:

eat chocolates / too many biscuits / fried meat or fries / roasted nuts

eat cold stuff

skip meals

yup. and i must say this. I LOVE CELERY!!!

11:21 p.m. - 2003-05-12

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was just playing my grieg. thought it was rather ok. well and for lesson today i played scales like for the first time in 2 months? haha. she better not learn how to use the internet one day and read all these... lol

9:36 p.m. - 2003-05-12

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pe. 6.21 for 4 rounds. ok lar. and quite gd yar, daryl still toks to me. anyway there was soccer and mud trench and how ian and eric screamed ahhh one after another when they passed the trench. oh well. haha quite funny actually. as though it were loderunner ppl going to sticky grd. then gp which was quite gd. i mean yar we did sth again. (doesnt this make it sound as though we're not supposed to do anything during gp lessons?) chem i din finish the tutorial so i must do so today. bio lecture wasnt too boring. but wasnt too interesting either. i just wonder when we'll get our attendance taken... perhaps the teachers have come to a consensus tt nobody from so3f wuld miss a lecture and so they shant bother checking us. perhaps. then maths tutorial. well. we were let off early. haha. and we oso went thru the x to the power of less than 1. meaning. basically. the fraction right. the numerator is even, graph range = R+0 while if numerator is odd, range = R. the denominator is even, meaning domain must be larger than 0, denominator odd, domain = R. yup

6:43 p.m. - 2003-05-12

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next week is already week 20 of the year... wow. tt's omost half. soon.

11:29 p.m. - 2003-05-11

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i just figured out tt chorale practices haf been screwing up my piano lesson schedule... urgh. oreadi culdnt go last week. now another one!? aiyoh. she's getting pissed!

9:11 p.m. - 2003-05-11

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well. i just spent abt an hr recording o my luve's like a red, red rose. sounds pretty gd considering tt i am not qualified to sing sop/alto. and i am using primitive equipment. i.e. a mike tt is made of plastic and nothing else... really actually i'm quite impresssed wif myself... :D

3:58 p.m. - 2003-05-11

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"Student Council is a volunteer organization which creates events that enhance the learning environment of our school. In the spirit of volunteerism we do not hold elections, but rather include all students who are interested in contributing their time to the school." saw this on a canadian school website (i stumbled upon it cos i was looking for wyf hokkaido then this guy was from this school). isnt the idea of not holding elections gd? if no elections are held, anybody can get in, and if anybody can get in, there's no exclusiveness or prestige, and if there's no prestige, then those who arent really interested in serving but rather are joining bcos of fame will not exist. solves all problems yar?

11:16 a.m. - 2003-05-11

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a few things i suddenly thought of.

i realised tt i go for lessons most of the time not expecting to learn sth. quite sad isnt it. what's the point of lessons then? let's see. i quote from longman: "sth taught to or learnt by a pupil esp in school, the period of time a pupil or class studies a subject". so. do i really go for a bio or maths or chem tutorial hoping to learn sth from it? not really. i go there bcos i've to be there, bcos i want to confirm tt wateva i've done for the tutorials is acceptable (mostly the presentation part, question answering techniques, rather than content). perhaps tt's some sort of learning. yeah tt's basically the thing i learn when i go for such tutorials. not very useful are they? i mean. therefore they are boring u c. therefore u can fall asleep. cos u're not really interested in what u're learning. yar i mean has anyone ever wondered abt this? what u actually learn from tutorials nowadays? not much not much. ok but enuff of the negative side, perhaps i shud haf started saying all these from the positive side. i realised i now go for gp and physics tutorial expecting the tutor to explain to me sth tt i wasnt clear of b4 tt, expecting to get skills. i think mr khoo and mr wong should feel honoured. haha.

the other thing is: if i were to rate my happiness and sadness levels per day, i will see tt it doesnt add up to hundred percent. e.g. 30% happy, 30% sad, so where's the other 40%?

11:07 p.m. - 2003-05-10

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what does the title of this page say? i know the previous time i succeeded in achieving what i told myself. to serve and dunno what. now: be decisive - it seems tt for the chorale elections i was much more decisive than usual. well, but not have been a difficult decision, but i guess it's a gd start. be sensitive - this has to be done slowly i guess. i hope i have improved. keep promises - hafnet really promised anything, but it was also abt not telling "secrets" - i think i haf done this. dunt hunch - looks like i cant ever remove it. cos every time i c it i just straighten my back. at least it's there... haha

and meanwhile it's time to start salvaging my english

anyway i'm physically drained. this morning slept 8 hrs liao. den come home slept another 2 hours? (6-8) went out for dinner, i think i'm going to sleep again. can u imagine how much sleep i lost since the sunday b4 syf. really. nver had a gd night's sleep since then. VERY TIRED a hong king u c writing here...

9:28 p.m. - 2003-05-10

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i got home a bit the fast today. cos my parents were waiting already... anyway. i'm very tired. but i loved the music today, all nice but simple songs. yeap. apart from the fact tt all i had was a sip from xin wei's water bottle, my voice was fine. actually at the end of the day i realised perhaps i wuld make a gd sl after all, i was underestimating myself in the morning when reginald, wui ming, conrad did so well. oh well if i get to be treasurer or librarian that wuld be good as well, i sure wanna work behind the scenes...

5:19 p.m. - 2003-05-10

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hm today. physics lecture wif ms gong wasnt exactly boring. hafta figure out carefully wat the thing meant. but i guess it's fine. Pe. nothing much cos it was raining. i did many pull ups (with pull up machine of cos), and some lateral pulls which caused my right hand to be injured. not exactly very painful i guess, but i noe it's injured. then ran 1 round on the treadmill at 9.8ms-1... haha. then after tt had bio and physics tutorial when i was standing up for fear of falling asleep. gp was ok, considering tt we actually did sth. and the time passed rather quickly. during break i went to man the geog soc booth in the concourse which was screening captain planet. then back for maths tutorial, i guess i'd haf to revise my functions, not exactly very strong. chem prac was quite interesting. basically xh and i did it together, so for once we managed to finish on time... haha both of us are simply too slow. but i guess it's oso one of the more successful pracs, considering we got most of the results as well.

anyway. then had catapult challenge. lol. our grp which was the most primitive and was predicted not to be able to launch any type of load was actually placed second in the class, launching a distance of 3.2m. not bad lar!! i was actually feeling so happy, for we din expect ours to work. esp when two other grps culdnt make it... so it appeared tt our last minute improvisation helped so much, the sticking and lashing (lol, odac... making use of skills in real life indeed) then geog soc. made some recycled paper, though the blender was spoiled. then i basically jumped on every single one of them... quite tiring, was sweating when i went for jap. jap ended surprisingly early today. to think i was late (reached at 5.38? and then we were released at 6.18?) yar... din do much. i guess i was there basically to get my hw. haha. then went home in my remote control car. yup. then now i do believe i haf some form of asthma attack. not serious. but i hope it'll go away soon.

8:34 p.m. - 2003-05-09

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y do ppl haf blogs? asks ppl. is it really bcos of peer pressure? i guess it is for some. esp those which spring up from nowhere during sars and disappear back to nowhere after sars, or perhaps those which are never updated. those are set up bcos "others haf one i must have one too". i thought so. perhaps i set mine up bcos of tt too. but tt was long ago. sometimes i just wonder wat this blog of mine does. do i read it? do ppl read it? let me see. 70% of the time i record events, interesting (at least to me) things tt happen. 15% are observations and related explanations / thoughts tt i make here and there from being a hong king and having ears and eyes that dun ever seem to stop working. 10% are my complains, abt how i want to improve myself. the other 5% is the really reflective ones. i guess very little. the reason? bcos, as i said, b4 blogs are so interlinked. it's simply amazing. mine used to be frequented only by me... until... anyway. i think i shud spend more of my time on how to improve myself. i guess this's a gd place to do so cos ppl c it. in a way i feel obliged to fulfil it, or at least when i dun succeed in doing wateva i need to do, i noe. if i hadnt written it down, i'd probably haf forgotten it within a week or so.

anyway i realised my pitching is really getting worse. somehow. 1st to 4th to 3rd. (i.e. in redz kur jaja) it's really off. must do sth abt it. or even vel jari gul. not very guo4 fen4 but i guess there's room for improvement. [went for dinner and came back, discovered tt if i remember a reference note i can oways adjust myself so tt overall i dun go sharp/flat. like vel jari gul i can remember the e. it works! well i guess this's a start]

the second thing is. the "merchants of cool" if anyone shud want to comment, pls pls do. click here basically. it's this thing abt being cool. i definitely am not part of the market tt these teen-product-producing companies are looking for. i will nver be cool. obviously. why do ppl go ard looking for newer (and uglier in my opinion) shoes? i mean. bright colours like orange or pink in the middle of black. it's bcum wat is known as "style"? i dun really understand. and those shoes with blue checkers or wateva not. some have simply disgusting colours. budden again i'm oways overly critical. just my opinion. but this is not the main pt. the question to ask is, when does this all end? when do teenagers grow out of it? how do they grow out of it? or do they never grow out of it? my answer is when they wuld probably do so when they go to work. they would have to look presentable. the question then is, would what is considered presentable change over the years?

why am i even thinking abt all these? i think the reason is clear. i have nver followed the flow in my life. ppl listen to pop i listen to oldies. ppl watch movies/tv, i dunt. ppl spike their hair, i nver combed my hair in my life. ppl wear ankle socks, i wear normal 10cm above your ankle socks. ppl have dunno wat brand bags (not only abt being cool but oso abt chasing brands) i haf really dunno-wat brand bags. (hope u noe wat this sentence meant, if u dint, read it again) ppl like to play soccer, i dunt. (ok this's slightly out of point, but can discuss later) it omost seems as though i'm trying to be different in every way. to go against the flow makes me extra perhaps. but i must make this clear. i just simply have no intention to do so. i am just not bothered to follow. sometimes perhaps i try to follow, but it gets tiring, it is not to my taste, and so i just stop trying. i do observe ppl trying and successfully getting into the 'cool' stage, but one might actually wonder, wat the value of being 'cool' is. is it really a matter of becoming a victim, or being exploited by corporations? perhaps. i shud then be glad tt i'm not a victim. just like how perhaps some ppl play soccer bcos the rest play it. half voluntarily. quite an accurate description. not voluntarily playing for fun, but playing for the sake of playing, voluntarily. (buddden again watching soccer is another thing, i'm not against tt, just tt i dun haf scv and cant possibly watch any match unless u recommend s-league which happens to be recommended by tiger beer as well.)

and so the whole point of saying all this is, i get ignored. how? why? cant really blame ppl for it. perhaps bcos there are no common conversation topics etc. issit really bcos of tt? y is it tt supposedly "cool" ppl like yinquan or joon loong or sheng xiang (no offense, but i mean it's the truth tt these guys wuldnt want to tok /want to be seen tokking to me). actually. it's when they are together tt they dun tok to me. sometimes individually they tok to me. am i a disgrace? hm. well. not being cool = a disgrace? just like honlyn once said. i dint expect nikhil to tok to... she din complete the sentence. perhaps i want to noe how she'd describe me. i finished it for her by saying "ppl like me". she nodded. she noes and i noe what those 3 words mean. not the exact meaning though. then there are those like qian tai and yingheng whom i feel are really really nice guys, who are accepted within the cool rings, and speak to ppl like me. (omost felt like adding "lowly" b4 ppl) yeah, then this oso leads me to wonder, perhaps next time when i grow up? i might not fit in? dunno. let me repeat how i feel i'm very fortunate to be in 3f, where more or less nobody is the "shengxiang type of cool" and so i dun feel out of place. just like how it was in 3p/4p (apart from zheng yuan / junming i guess). really. tt's how i survived u noe. otherwise my life wuld be really miserable. yar i appreciate weili's conversations wif me. i wuld view him as sort of a connecting bridge bet the "cool" world and the "ppl like me" world. and perhaps conrad too. anyway i think the reason why i dun exactly have so many close friends is probably bcos of the very fact tt i dun fit in. i'm being overly unique. in a way i guess.

yar actually i've kept all this inside me for a long time. nver really found a need to tell the whole world, but since i started on it i decided i might as well just finish it up.

(anyway. lester's remark during lunch tt wwf (i heard it is now wwe) is very much a part of a guy's life, surprises me not. totally different are we. really really very different. cultural shock? processes of thinking are different as well. makes me realise how ri/gep has actually shaped me to be what i am. while i used to think tt difference bet gep and express was quite big, think again. of cos i realised tt those in say normal academic are obviously different, but for someone of similar IQ-i assume this to be true- difference in how the person works can be to the extent of difference in how they are brought up)

again, if anyone shud want to comment, pls pls do. click here okok enuff of this. some lighter things:

why is it tt soft drinks are nice only when served chilled? keeps the carbon dioxide within the drink so tt the sour taste and the feeling of gas coming up ur oesophagus are preserved? perhaps. cos when warm the gas is "chased out" more quickly.

it shud seem tt the internet is a vast resource wif omost not boundaries yet it is unreliable. how very sad. it is fair i guess, but yar think of it. time spent on the comp doing wateva is considered less valuable then probably procrastinating w/o the comp. noe wat i mean? let's say. 3 hrs doing nothing on the comp or just playing a game makes u feel more guilty then 3 hrs doing things inefficiently (not comp related)

and the other thing is. the education system. not really any strong opinions abt how it stresses us (ok perhaps we shud tell them to scrap compulsory project work and cip -btw the rams form attached to cip proposal is absolutely stupid, looks like mr low of odac attached it there. as though any community service at old folks home would require proper equipment, or any of the following considerations "if moving in hazardous terrain, precautions have been planned for" "study of tide-tables done => the old folks home is going to be flooded so we better make sure we leave b4 high tide???" TOTALLY IRRELEVANT FORM.) but rather abt how it's quite sad tt we as children cannot really get the best possible education. abt how most who are real real geniuses end up going into research or sth. yar u get the idea. but it's like tt all over the world i guess, nothing much we can do abt it. yeah u can say those profs they lecture in uni as well. true. but the thing is at lower levels of edu, e.g. primary, teachers are really much less qualified. and it is at these stages where some students drop out.

anyway. yesterday a bored hk after interview (who realised he dint exactly answer questions very well either) was looking at the master master list for j1 students and discovered tt 1/10 are singapore citizens/PR but not born in singapore, while i guess another 1/10 are totally non-singaporeans. i bet most ppl wun expect such a high percentage (20%) of non-singaporeans in the school...

ok finally. (wow spent 3 hrs doing this + eating dinner + doing bits and pieces of trigo) i think i'm looking forward to doing cip at salvation army bkt panjang. tt's if they accept me. yar so sorry zhini may not be able to do wif u. places like bo tien day care say they are not accepting volunteers due to sars. oh. was thinking tt volunteer work on a weekly basis wuld really enrich my life, much much much better than goin on a movie, dunt u think?

ok tt's really all for tonight. shall save my brain for maths and physics. + to sleep. haha really not enuff sleep. nowadays it's just so normal for me to sleep thruout my 75-journeys back home (waking up at most 5 times in the 25 minute trip).

9:33 p.m. - 2003-05-08

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oh hi yechao. haha i decided i wunt any more. perhaps i cant commit. i shall just sing in a small grp for fun. as in dunneed to actually go form one. just sing with a small grp of ppl.

anyway. today was ok. i lost my pencil box for abt 20 minutes this morning. we had catapult building. (haha we did ours in like 30 minutes, and even now, we'd still haf to manually hold the thing together) maths lecture trigo loaded us with quite a bit of info, like $1.30=$4.30-$3. den small maths test. well. brain wasnt working too well. kept staring at the same equation and doing it again and again. but i knew how to do the question. so mr ho was like asking why are u taking so long? i was just totally not in the mood, surprisingly. den was a 10-minute break which i wuldnt call a break. after all we sat down and then the next moment we went to the LT. chem was quite funny. quotes from the lecturer: "talk in your heart" "i love this topic i hope u like it too" "don't lick it up if it spills" "if u are not talking to me please lower your volume" "so is it true? i want the answer no." "they will not burn because it's kinetically stable so it is safe to read my lecture notes" haha.

4:01 p.m. - 2003-05-08

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ah. today. not a bad day. yeah, wat an optimistic way of putting it. first of all was told i din get the moe scholarship. i guess tt's fine lar, i was quite expecting tt. just tot tt ying heng was quite poor thing... considering the person he is i think he deserves the scholarship.

anyway. next time when i distribute wkshts i must make sure i make into 26 stacks so tt ppl wunt be missing stuff.

lastly chorale. 2 things. really want to join acapella grp and be in the comm. aiyah. if i had joined chorale right at the beginning of time there wuldnt be this problem now. nvm. and haf to make speech some more. say wat? oh i think i'm suitable bcos. 2 minutes? how to last so long...

7:16 p.m. - 2003-05-07

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ok i've got lots to say. some things which haf got nothing to do with the major event tt happened today. so i shall begin wif them in case i 4get. first. i dun even noe my own age. i had to calculate but subtracting 1986 from 2003. is tt supposed to be good or bad? perhaps it's gd if i can do this when i'm old to feel tt i'm still young...

pe lessons. otega (if tt's how u spell his name) allows to play games first b4 conditioning. tt's xian tian hou ku. i prefer tt. i used to think it's oways best to haf xian ku hou tian. apparently not then. anyway had frisbee yesterday which was quite fun considering i touched the frisbee rather frequently. guess i haf to run abt a lot if i want ppl to pass it to me.

oh. and i realised tt when i study i constantly look for patterns. i realised tt i dun ever mug apart from definitions which unfortunately haf no general patterns. budden again last yr when i was muggin physics i put gravitational / magnetic / electric field together, since they are all "regions where a ? experiences a force towards ?" yar so in the end i still find patterns. it helps a lot. try it!

finally. syf. u noe wat. frankly. this morning i felt we sucked. badly. i was getting so so so worried we wunt even get a gold. seriously. we sounded terrible. in the lt4. when mr hodge came in. my heart was sinking by the minute, it wasnt even nervous, it just last hope. but. i guess ppl were saving voices.

well today i'm glad my voice warmed up quickly. very gd. by the time we went up the stairs into the room, i was thinking of 99 syf. believe it or not it's 4 yrs ago but memories are so vivid. totally u noe. every step, every room. not the toilet though. they renovated it. lol. tt prep room wif the huge windows. well. i felt so relieved when i heard us there. beautiful sound. (i confess i was staring at some building bhind - perhaps wehre my father works - for abt 3 seconds cos i tot the sound was really gd)

so we went to the side of the hall, heard hc sing (not really, but their stamp was real loud)

so there we were, me told candice to be gentle with the piano, and up we went onto the stage. we waited there for some time, for hc to sit down. well, just like our bad experience in 1999. anyway. so din really fidget, looked at audience, smiled at them, they smiled at us. yar then mr toh came in. tt was it. it started.

impressions was, to me, rather gd, cos I sang it well, and i thought the tenors sang it well too. and the choir did finally have some contrast in dynamics. well, i think as long as we go sharp? together it's fine. then mate saule. it was not bad at all. but. i still think bass (D in final part) is a bit wavering. iddemdem. haha i reached the e. got off the stage. i realised i was not nervous. with sicheng popping out from the left, haha, no tension left lar... so we listened as audience. thought nelson kwei over did the last part of impressions for tp. but they still got in. so well i guess it's ok for the judges. got back to school, din bring uniform, stayed in it all day long, was told by ms lee i looked smart (yes i do ok... lol) bio prac was rather intresting with the beads and wateva nots, but i realised sicheng din report to me the results. my hp was outside the lab for reception. my pen was shaking. and then serene said we got into finals! ok gd. shouted down to reginald in the chem lab who unfortunately din hear me. but nvm. not exactly very happy, but i guess it just makes it day with a light mood. but we've still a long way to go. anyway i thought this whole thing helped the bonding. yar. i was practically renting ppl's hands for 5 seconds each time i saw them. haha. looking forward to practice tml... oh. if pioneer had gotten into finals, them pV=nRT (victoria/national/raffles/tampines)

9:58 p.m. - 2003-05-06

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just saw prof low on tv. ok u ask who is prof low. he's this senior consultant of general surgery at ttsh, who treated us to starbucks when we were on attachment. i mean ok tt's not the pt, but i was just wondering whether he's fine. it seems tt he is. want to write an email to him soon... provided i can grab his address. yes. prof low cheng hock. to think i can still recognise him... :)

10:51 p.m. - 2003-05-05

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just came back from chorale. all i noe is i must sleep by 10.30. have a physics test to mug for. have dinner to eat. have to bathe. etc. well. and prepare tml's stuff as well. okok gd job there hk....

9:04 p.m. - 2003-05-05

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read it

made me feel so sad all of a sudden this morning.

anyway .what was the last thing you complained about? what is the problem? who was the last person you complimented? what did you say?

learn about daylight saving time!

interestingly. Japan's Ministry of Education (who were concerned that lighter evenings would entice school children from their homework)is against daylight time saving...

4:37 p.m. - 2003-05-04

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suddenly heard this church (abt 1km away?) play songs. so loud u noe... anyway project task 1. significant event: hk eats and sleeps. lesson learnt: never do tt cos u'll get diarrhoea.

budden again thanx to tt nap, i'm refreshed to do hw!!! reading some blogs now, realised how pathetic my vocab is and i have therefore started to expand it.

2:56 p.m. - 2003-05-04

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realised omost half the world has blogs. and. our class is really very disconnected from the rest of the world. sort of. thanx to me. haha. realised other class blogs have linked to us but not vice versa... oops

10:54 p.m. - 2003-05-03

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wah... chao ji tired. what to do. still haf pw / gp. oh no. ahh

10:22 p.m. - 2003-05-03

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haha. my father asked me what's HQO (home quarantine order). as in he knows but he's trying to see if my mother noes u c. so i said. hongking quit odac. LOL

8:55 p.m. - 2003-05-03

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erm. just realised tt within the one hr lesson this morning, still managed to do quite a lot. i.e. more urgent. den chorale. sectionals wasnt exactly very useful. i mean well i guess we din really improve very much, unfortunately. i culdnt really sing at first, but later culd reach the E for iddem dem comfortably, so gd for me. and there seems to be many musically able ppl in our batch. yar mostly high grades some more. just like in 3f. anyway thought tt i'm quite an adaptable person. i'm really getting used to going to lt4. as in it does feel to a certain extent like going home. well, just tt i wuld prefer to haf a room like school bands oways haf. unfortunately there nver will be. let's tok more to the girls! actually wat's stopping us? bcos "the other side" doesnt tok to us? haiyah wat rubbish.

6:40 p.m. - 2003-05-03

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i'm damn tired. today's a long day. poor hk. started with pe which wasnt pe. well. it was just captain's ball. then the series of tutorials. (gp compre, at least slowly trying questions, rather than hopelessly saying no i cant do it) then maths tutorial. for which i'm wrong once again. ok, just remember: oways translate first b4 doing anything tt has a factor (i.e. scale/reflect-effectively of factor -1) ok then chem prac. not bad lar, all the unknown samples managed to released the gas they were supposed to release. then the front page din haf time to do, but i guess i can oways copy from the notes. then collected bio stuff. printed geog soc stuff. collected blazer. went to vch. until 9. walked over to raffles city for bk. ate, took bus at 10.30++. reached home now. so tired tt thruout the bus trip i was half sleeping. and waking up a fifth of the time. the rest of it? dreaming... lol. ok nvm too tired liao...

11:27 p.m. - 2003-05-02

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i think i'm improving slightly in my time management. how so? haha i'm limiting each session of internet usage to 10 minutes. but yes so far there is no limit to how many sessions there are. but hey, at least i realise tt time is slipping away, making me do my useless things quickly, and even surf less. well. this is a gd start.

9:31 p.m. - 2003-05-01

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nothing extremely exciting today. well. basically i ate duck rice plus chicken rice plus ice jelly for lunch. yeah. tt was $6.20... still hungry though

5:42 p.m. - 2003-05-01

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done quite a lot today. quite surprisingly. or rather, a lot to write abt today. bio tutorial was ok i guess, just tt we learnt to be specific, e.g. integral glyco protein. yup. then during the break, tried to search for cip contact numbers in the library, but the computers either dunt work (cant log in) or are too slow. so in the end only managed to copy down the amts of money to claim from qiqiong. not tt we claimed in the end... then gp. compre. well. it seems tt i'm really hopeless, i culdnt really pick out the "underlying meaning". perhaps bcos i'm reading too quickly? or simply bcos i'm not exposed enuff. hopefully i will learn quickly. after all. gp common test is less than a month away. then chem tutorial. haha jun nan wasnt ard, but our class being 3f, we went thru question 14 ourselves. though we werent really too sure of the answers. but yar from 12.10 to 12.30 ms tan was explaining.. haha.

so after tt went out to eat lunch. at ghim moh. ate this satay bee hoon and drank some ginger. feeling very hot when i left ghim moh. dint exactly feel very well, but decided to go back to school. so went for geog soc. only 4 of us. but we made 2 layers of the base of the hand structure. not bad not bad. and i realised tt yar i might as well make myself like geog soc, since i'm gonna be in it for 1 yr. perhaps i deserve to be in the com? budden again wuld i prefer chorale com if i can get in? i wonders. after tt went home. wat a coincidence. met zhini again. (met her in the morning) then it was the same bus some more, the old one. tokked a bit, wondering abt CIP (i wuld haf to contact the organisations soon). i suddenly realised tt old things can appear new. as in the bus was the old type (built 1983 - 1985), yet it appeared so clean, so new. yar. better than the new buses i feel. the floor and everything, i just like the old bus... den walked in, saw water flow in drain. realised tt when there was collection of silt the water was less turbulent than when the drain was clean. why? bcos when there's no silt, the water is lower in the V shape, thus the total width is smaller and so there's more friction. see? haha. feel so geogish.

anyway i haf quite a lot of things to do. geog soc requires me to: 1. get huge boxes to allow ppl to throw cans in. 2. hang up the banner. 3. do the boards. 4. announce for geog feste and boxes. 5. projector for documentary screening.

ah well. at the same time i haf to do research for project work, mug my syf pieces well, play the piano, mug physics test. ok. yes time management

5:48 p.m. - 2003-04-30

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project work was not exactly constructive. i am to be blamed. set the grp on a rather abstract route. which obviously we are not gd at, cos we just get stuck there. counted the "cases", 137 "here in this case", 1 "in which case", 96 "in this case here", 66 "in this case", adding up to a nice total of 300. yeah. and 35 is it alright? actually many "for this part" but dint count. but hey dun say i'm boliao. learnt quite a bit from this. first is how to multitask. look. i had to tally, press calculator, listen to lecturer, understand what she's saying, do examples, and at the same time listen to xuxu and shifeng tok to me (one left ear one right ear), and answer their questions. well. but i did fine, just tt when xuxu and shifeng asked question, really culdnt manage tt well. but it was a rather gd experience. taxing on the mind though. (anyway xx was telling me tt i make her laff wildly. wow. haha i'm an ingredient for wild laffter)

anyway lessons from the maths lecture. apart from domain of fg = domain of g, and tt if fg is to be a function, range of g must be subset of f, basically, to tell myself, it's not impossible to multi-task, i might multi-task for unnecessary things (in real life perhaps chatting on msn?). if i over do it, i wunt be able to manage. so now tt i noe i cant manage if i over multitask, i can at least take precautions to prevent myself from doing so, otherwise one fine day i find myself overloaded and will get depressed. yes. next. sometimes i do things that are the routine, and after some time u just forget y u're doing it, and sometimes u oso find tt wat u're doing is redundant and so u stop doing it. big mistake! must nver lose sense of direction. must oways noe wat u do wat u do for. very important. (how did i think of this? was pressing calculator right, den stopped halfway thinking drawing lines in sets of five wuld be enuff to give me the total frequency. but i realised. it's for the plotting of frequency vs time graph!!!)

realised tt by 10.30 u only haf 90 minutes of the day left. whereas 10.30 seems like a long way to 12.00. it's not. plus the fact tt i dun get to sleep at 12.00.

next. motivation to do work? figured this out. shudnt be thinking of motivating myself to do work. but instead view doing work according to schedule as the norm, not as the unbelievable, and motivation is oways there, u dun haf to find it. c. hope it works.

and den oso realised tt my jap standard is rapidly falling. it's a relative thing. cos. bu jing ze tui mar... and at rj it's really so slow lor. at moelc they're at dunno lesson wat. was discussing wif christelle whether we shud go moelc. perhaps we shud.

and my gp. help. i think i really need to read much more, but where to find the time? tell me.

i guess we shud question the education system soon. when i bcum the minister of education perhaps. why the need to haf cca points, project work. seriously. if they want us to gain from wat we do, wateva they've implemented defeats their purpose. look. ppl join a second cca to get participation pts. project work is SO artifical. very.

ok den chorale. i din feel extremely musical today. even when i left i wasnt exactly in the mood to sing. hope on tt day (syf) nothing of this sort wuld happen. and den. haha mr toh said i was distracting him by moving my head too much. no i'm not bothered by tt. wat's interesting is he said sorry i had to tell u now bcos i haf some ... wateva. i think he thinks tt i'm an ezily offended guy. oh well. wat a wrong impression. yeah. perhaps bcos i asked him the other time after he switched me to the second row whether i din sound right. but it was bcos of the sectional impressions tt i asked him. well. must clarify with him some day. haha. and the next thing is. wat a way to get known by ppl in chorale. the one who cant stop laffing. the one who wears a black jacket. the one who sways when singing. haha. well. interesting.

spent 41 minutes writing all these!!!

10:41 p.m. - 2003-04-29

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tonight was a gd night. din start work early. but hey, cleared up rooms, cleared my bag, cleared my file, did tutorial 8, did bio tutorial, doing physics and well hopefully jap in 1 day's time. yup. happiness

11:35 p.m. - 2003-04-28

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erm. well. b4 i 4get. i banged into the wall damn hard just now b4 going for piano lessons. so now i haf a bump on my left forehead. ok i only haf one forehead. still remember when i said sth abt weili's left nose. lol

9:22 p.m. - 2003-04-28

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just realised. tt actually yar my piano teacher really watched me grow up. from a p4? kid to now. yar. one of the only few who saw me grow up as in week by week. yeah... it'll be quite sad for me to discontinue lessons. well. hai. sometimes i just wonder. perhaps i shud just not be so close to pppl so tt when the time comes to part there is no need to feel sad. budden again i believe i wuld rather be sad than nver get the chance to be sad in my whole life... yup. :)

9:10 p.m. - 2003-04-28

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yar i'm like tt. tt's me. wat do i think of when i say tt? odac. rock climbing. well. haha. let me say a big thank you to all odacians who made my stay in odac a very pleasant one. as i said in christine's blog, i took away an adventurous spirit from odac. one tt i had b4 joining odac, but one tt was nver really uncovered. so now i noe i haf the courage, i shall be organising many things... for my class or wateva. and the other impt thing, is how i actually found my not-very-strong love for music. well. yar. if i had just continued on w/o any interruption i might haf just taken it as a continuation, nothing special...

9:00 p.m. - 2003-04-28

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was thinking abt transfering over to blogspot. but haiyah too troublesome. too lazy...

7:39 p.m. - 2003-04-28

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just finished my lesson, feel so guilty for not practising for the whole week (and this coming wk as well). anyway she's (piano teacher) feeling quite sad now cos the doctor who died was once her student (in the 1970s) "he was highly musical n culd score full marks for aural" this has caused sars to come just slightly closer to me, let me understand wat it feels like when someone related to u somehow contracts sars. n imagine. next time i bcum a doctor or sth and sth happens to me. tt i can imagine, and therefore i oso can sort of imagine wat she's feeling. well. quite sad yar. let's really hope tt this whole thing really ends quickly. esp when my father's job's at stake.

5:59 p.m. - 2003-04-28

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erm. 2day tickled me twice. first was: i said i was sleeping 1/4 to 1/2 of the lecture. and so i was told by ppl. but ur eyes were open. so i said i'm sitting in front of u how can u c my eyes. they say. u looked back a few times wat. i say. so wat. i look back with my eyes closed??!?!

second was: bing rui eating. took so long to eat. i actually won my bet tt he wunt finish b4 1.50 bell. haha poor wang ning, lost his bet so had to hug mr ho. well tml bing rui will chew less per spoonful of food. now the record stands at 160++ and 1min26sec. well. we'll work towards faster eating... :P

3:41 p.m. - 2003-04-28

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i think i shud be happy tt my chest voice range is gradually increasing.

8:25 p.m. - 2003-04-27

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actually it's very interesting. i realise tt i'm visiting blogs thru links. it's omost as though there's a route to go thru... so wat happens, is i just remember a few url to act as starting points, and i noe where to find the other ppl's using links (which i noe are somewhere) haha.

6:06 p.m. - 2003-04-27

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erm. suddenly i realised sth. i might haf been trying to tell myself tt hey my decision to quit odac was not wrong (from my nver ending praising of chorale sessions). ok this is getting complicated. as in i feel tt i'm praising chorale bcos i think i might be trying to convince myself tt it was right to quit odac (but i dun want tt to happen, as in ). but the pt is, i realised tt actually it shows tt i'm interested in sth. it suddenly occurred to me tt i'm not an interest-less person after all. not totally at least... yay. and jap too. y am i taking it? is it bcos i just want to keep in contact with it? y did i penalise myself during the interview by saying tt? i actually haf an interest in it. lol. i'm totally amused with myself. y haf i been bluffing myself all these years tt i'm not interested in anything?? this is really so stupid and funny. ti xiao jie fei. if i werent interested in jap i'd haf quit long ago. i wuldnt even haf considered taking it. it's just like how i'd nver be bothered abt literature. so perhaps my interests are not strong. but i do haf interests!!! lol. quite happy. i've successfully unbluffed myself. haha

3:50 p.m. - 2003-04-27

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branding. we go for branded goods. now think of it. let's say there are some china/thai products, which give itself some european-sounding brand name (usu. by changing a letter or two in the name). Would you prefer this product or would u prefer one tt gives its own name in the native language?

9:26 a.m. - 2003-04-27

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some other things tt happen during chorale: 1. lt door opens. half the ppl turn their heads to see who it is. how very kay poh like me. 2. there is a break of 10 minutes. i stays in the lt. 2 minutes after practice resumes i decides to goes to the toilet. wow. wonderful.

11:08 p.m. - 2003-04-26

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a few chat sessions with clarissa have suddenly made me wonder. this thing abt boy-girl divide. think carefully ok... we discussed abt the chorale hafing it. then she was saying how her class has it.

i think it's a very hard to solve this problem if it is one. cos there's no absolute "standard". ok perhaps total segregation with zero or limited interaction is bad, but my question is so when is it considered to have been broken? i think tt we shud think tt in 3f it has been broken. well. at least we do interact with one another. budden again i realised tt even during breaks, actually the girls do keep to one general grp and the boys to one general grp. if u noe wat i mean. non-intentional perhaps, but here comes my question? so is it actually natural to separate? perhaps bcos of conversation topics? or what? and den my next question. what happens when we grow up and go out to work. how does it work? don't colleagues sort of separate as well. there's definitely this tendency. or if ur parents haf this grp of friends. isnt there a natural separation, with husbands at one dinner table and wives at the other (if there are too many ppl). yar? so think abt it again and give me an answer... and another thing worth noting is: in odac i felt there was totally no guy-girl divide at all. perhaps there now is. but hey how was it achieved? hm i wonder too.

10:22 p.m. - 2003-04-26

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oh right. during chorale cos there were few tenors ard i sang in a few quartets. wonder if they found my voice too erm harsh-sounding. my pitch wasnt too bad i guess. but my tone's a bit the nei ge...

9:01 p.m. - 2003-04-26

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it seems tt i've returned to the joyful me. well though i haf a sore throat. the best thing probably tt i found out is tt i actually like going for chorale practices, i dun actually dread them. it's the music, i tell u. oh well. not tt i was totally expecting to dislike them altogether, but i'd haf expected myself to feel sian every now and then, budden, hey, no such feelings at all. wow. i'm impressed wif myself.

now i've lots of hw. but i can settle them all by today and tml so no problems. just tt there's practice on 2/4/5/6 next week. cant go for jap!? dunno... anyway it's rather interesting to all get tired and haf mr toh acknowledge tt. and usu by the last hr of the practice we'd start laffing at anything he does. not very funny at all. but i guess we're all tired. and the laffing is contagious. so we just all laff our fatigue away. isnt tt just so gd...

anyway. just some observations: in a traffic jam, the lane u're in will not move. even if u switch lanes. cos by the time u switch lane the new lane wuld stop moving and the old lane wuld start moving. which leads me to wonder, whether it's only my father who's oways so sway, or does everyone experience dis. but how can tt be? somehow part of the traffic must have moved right...

the ezlink card-reader gives a B for normal adult fares and a G for concessionary fare. so next time u dun haf with u (or r too lazy to take out) a tuning fork/hp/pitch pipe and u wanna sing mate saule, u can get ur note from it. in fact tt reader oso has other functions, tt is to tell u when to get off if it's ur first time taking the bus.

8:42 p.m. - 2003-04-26

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today was a pretty long and boring day. thought i liked the idea of staying in 2-10 for 10 x 20 minutes slots. yar, i actually prefer it to be like tt, i think perhaps i absorb more. budden again tt's only perhaps. cos a change in environment might bring abt better absorption of new facts, but much time is spent travellling. ok i like my friday. it might be long but i prefer it. monday's not too bad too.

9:24 p.m. - 2003-04-25

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haha well. 2 days oreadi yar... getting home beyond 10.45. it's quite fun actually, just slightly tiring.

i noticed by now tt i haf come home for slightly less than an hr liao, and yet i've done nothing. ok maybe not nothing, but nothing constructive. read blogs of ppl whom i din exactly noe. and haha actuallys still cannot tell between grace and hannah.

actually i've lots to say. considering i din come online for so many days. well... let's begin with the chorale tuesday. it was a long day, but i enjoyed the singing. cos my voice was pretty warmed up so i was quite satisfied with it. ok but was forced to eat in the LT hurriedly. wat happened in the morning? let's see... chem lecture jun nan got bday wishes from us and other classes, i like the third level classrooms, seem more conducive for working. project work was ok, in fact it sounds like a pretty gd start. for bio prac it was just some old boring milk experiment. well, just remember to write everything down: the verb: i.e. remains / changed. the type: i.e. solution or suspension or ppt. the colour: wateva. the viscosity. if instructions say shake vigorously. observe immediately after. says tilt. observe when tilting, make reference to tilting. give comparisons to other tubes. well hope tt gives me higher marks next prac yar... oh and during jap we went thru the wkshts quite quickly. not bad not bad. and did the kanji quiz as well, though i've probably forgotten all the words by now... haha. oh and b4 jap we were at the library blogging.

wednesday wasnt a bad day either. civics in bio lab 1 tokking abt sars. well i think we're all numb abt it but really we shud start getting cautious. shudnt take health for granted... half the bio lecture was gone cos of the power failure. gp was the movie abt the development of television. i wuldnt say it was ultra interesting. i realised tt i tend not to be able to see the arguments straight away. perhaps bcos i see the word argument and oways interprete it as some defensive arguing type of thing... and someone pls save me. oways dunno wat aspects, issues, themes (all those general terms) are. if i dunno wat those are then how am i supposed to find them??? yes thanks for helping me. after all tt had mini-performance at concourse. not bad lar. then ended quite early... had delifrance, yes. not very filling i must say, thanx to my being broke. then band concert. i sort of appreciated it sometimes, esp when i was singing the timpani. well. senior class ppl looked at me once or twice when i was imitating the maracas like thingie unsuccessfully haha but i dun think dey knew i was singing the timpani. anyway the esplanade is quite interesting. however i must say tt the seats at the side arent really very well placed. one can see many heads lying on the railing or sticking out bcos they are blocked by the railing. well.... bad designs. same for most circles. cant help it i guess... anyway i did enjoy the performance. though at the end i was getting a bit tired. and mr oura is so funny... walking in and out so hurriedly and exaggeratedly. then went home on 700 with jia han, patricia and joshua. haha who is joshua. this chinese high guy who noes yean lih gabriel and therefore noes me. well. wat a small world. so i knew 3 ppl from the same class thru 3 different ways. quite fun actually. feel so happy tt i noe quite a lot of ppl. if i were to list down the names right now... it'll really be quite a lot. anyway on this day i received/made 17 calls altogether. die liao, phone bill going to cost a bomb.

ok finally today. physics tried making catapult. no progress. but i guess we will have some soon... hopefully. perhaps. maybe. oh. today's here in this case decreased from the record of 349 on tuesday to 283. msged mr ho during maths tutorial to go thru q 11... lol. anyway managed to get thru the tutorial despite not hafing done the next tutorial. pretty lucky but i better buck up. so tonight i will do: gp. maths. physics. chemistry. i guess tt's a lot.

actually i'm starting to miss ri. after such a long time right... trying to recall the action of walking into LT3, sitting down there and starting to sing. or conducting sectionals. oh well RI did give me quite a lot after all, for otherwise i wuld not be me. i think i'd haf to thank friends and specifically ms heng for tt.

was on the way back from school, and honlyn told me tt i was the little one whom the girls not like (probably dislike). think i noe y. but perhaps honlyn culd tell me to make sure i noe the real reason. so tt at least i can change for the better. den lester told sunni tt i'm eccentric and bright. he oso said "u and hk are gifted right" haha ok well den sunni told him not to say tt. and actually i started thinking. wat makes me eccentric? when ppl say so i just say of course i'm eccentric. but haf i really understood why? not really. i'm just me. i'm just trying to be as normal as i can. so wat makes me eccentric? perhaps someone culd answer me. i dunno. this is so strange.

haha my english is so lousy right... but look at this: the poolside was crowded with residents never before seen in cashew heights... hahahahahaha lol

look out of the window and i see dark skies. may the rain leave us quicker than it took to reach us. meanwhile i shall go and play the piano which i've not touched for 3 days. quite miss the music actually. after watching the band play i thought i really need to buck up on my musicality. how to show tt i'm worth getting a distinction for grade 8? must play well lar, not just play the notes, or rather not not just play the notes, but rather play the music with emotions. the notes are just an instrument to express emotions. see. the main thing is the emotions not the notes. ha. as for singing. the crescendo and linking of notes. those shud be duh as well. and I FOUND OUT STH... my mediant is oways too sharp!!! wat to do, must flatten it. cos for redz kur jaja, mate saule, even impressions, i'm oways sharp. oh well. must change.

shall list all ppl whom i noe (and they have tokked to me b4, will say 'hi' to me?). those tt i remember at least. in chronological order starting from primary school. (isnt this exciting) those my age only. it's actually quite amazing tt i can still match faces to the names. Total of 307 ppl.

BPPS � 52: Khor Ying Heng / Naim / Abdullah (who stole my stationery) / Marcus / Mian Cun / Sigmund / Liang Fa / Weizhen / Jie Ming / Jia Min / Jeff / John / Justin (7635896 � somehow drilled into my head. Hafent really called him since p3?) / Felix (in US now) / Junda / Joanne Tan / Thinesh / Karthikayean / Tiong Swee Hong / Yeo Le Tze / Chen Shiqin / Vanessa Liew / Ng Yun / Chan Yingzhi / Hana Suri / Agnes Lim / Teo Hui Fang / Huang Wei Ting / Goh Youli / Winson / Yean Lih / Jun Yuan / Jia Qing / Zi Yang / Yong Ping / Bhavani Somu / Bavani Pillai /Alvin Heng / Huang Huilin / Gabriel Kwek / Jeanette Lee / Catherine Leo / Lin Shunnan / Liu Xuanzhi / Francis Neo / Oh Shujun / Seet Ming Juan / Siti Fatimah / Su Liying / Suffian Hakim / Desmond Tan / Wang Bangzhi

WYF � 11: Damien / Eugene Oh / Patricia Or / Hee Chun Hui / Loh Shilin / Ian / Yasu / Reiji / Taka / Kazuya / Asami

RV � 48: Meng Chuan / Johaness / Shun Long / Matthew / Bing Xun / Zher Ee / Seng Tat / Kelvin / Qing Yong / Ze Wei / Kenneth Kwan / Mohan / Ye Chao / Si Cheng / Charles / Conrad / Mingze / Nicholas / Jason Tan / Kawa / Alvin Liong / Gerard / Lu Sien / Yeo Feng / Kwok Onn / Iwan / Sheng Rong / Abintan / Chuen Kang / Yu Hsin / Linus / Tiong Hwee / Hanyang / Eddison / Darryl / John / Anand / Ian Chung / Ang Shenting / Teo Chin Guan / Reuben / Ching Hui / Richard / Yan Heng / Alvis / Maxwell / Alfian / Tanuj

Other RI � 10: Chan Tai Tik (Jap) / Keng Piang (Jap) / Jia Han (Jap) / Nikhill (TTSH) / Andee (BP/TTSH) / Sanjay (MSS) / Gideon (BP) / Abiel (BP) / John Samuel? (I wonder how he knows me) / Oh Eng Seng (haha 4K nanyang)

RI GEP � 45: Lim Chang Mou / Shaun Lim / Jonathan Lim / Joel Han / Joel Ng / Silvanus / Kenneth Teh / Andrew Chong / Jayce / Timothy Yap / Samuel Chee / Ng Wai Keong / Benedict Eoon / Koh Shihao / Lim Tse Yang / Lim Yu Xian / Ong Pinchuan / Ong Xing Cong / Leonard Sng / Aaron Foo 1 / Aaron Foo 2 / Aaron Quek / Gwee Yee Lun / Hong Qian Tai / Lee Renji / Lee Yun Foong / Daryl Lim / Wong Ji Sam / Yau Wen Kien / Ang Yihan / Ku Renyu / Mark Low / Luo Yuan Hong / Melvin Mok / Ser Jin / Matthew Sng / Howard Tan / Nicholas Tan YL / Sheng Xiang / En Jun / Dedrick / Shane / Liang Zheng / Liang Yuan / Timothy Tan

4P � 24: Jia Shen / Gordon / Benja / Yukun / Joseph / Guangyong / Calvin / Dick / Andrew Lee / Jun Ming / Sing Yong / Benson / Matthew / Ray / Zheng Yuan / Kao Chin / Chin Siang / Rui Ming / Eng Kiat / Daniel / Kaihan / Kar Seng / Reuben / Thomas

ODAC � 29: Nita / Jamin / Eugene / Chee Chong / Christine Octaviani / Alvin Ng / Sau Yee / Shi Hui / Nizam / Daryl / Melody / Lau Yan / Jasmine / Joshua Lai / Tracy Ng / Yong Lai / Mingheng / Yuan Xiang / Shawn Ang / An Hui / Celeste / Janice / Yi Ling / Samuel / Lim Aik / Glenn / Shu Mei / Kan Xing / LEROY

Skyla � 18: Ting Lin / Celene / Xin Yi / Shuang Ning / Leqi / Esther Chew / Jan Lim / Sya / Cheng Shi / Kenneth Koh / Jasmeet / Danny / Aaron / Dominic / Lloyd / Joseph / Jian An / Sarah

1SO3F � 26: lester / qiqiong / qian li / yanjie / rosalynn / Christine Siew / Elina / Bao Luo / Bingrui / Tianjiao / Sunni / Honlyn / Bao Rong / Bena / Wei Li / Christelle / Evelyn / Shu-Lin / Wang Ning / Yingheng / Eric / Andy / Xiaohui / Xuxu / Shifeng

2SO3F � 14: wang rui / jun wei / dexter / Frank / Daniel / Ryan / Mehmeh / Liping / Wing Sze / Sang Yu / Mohana / Davie / Meiqi / jia yao

RJ Other � 13: Jen / Nurie / Christine Cheung / Belinda / Ming Jing / Esther Foo / Jia Hui / Si Xuan / Grace / Hannah / Jia Ling / Olivia Tan / Zhi ni

Geog Soc � 1: Nicholas

RJ Chorale � 14 (+RV): Aaron / Alex Chia / Alex / Reginald / Krishna / Wui Ming / Clarissa / Candice / Jesse / Shu Min / Seh Ling / Sharon / Yao Zhong / Jaryl

Others � 2: Georgia? / Ivee

Is that many or few? dunno leh. hopefully it's considered many...

100 odd are ppl i know only when i entered rj. ok not bad.

4:12 p.m. - 2003-04-24

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2 things:

1. my life now has goals. not bcos i want them to guide my life, but bcos i need them to guide my life. otherwise i'm be an aimless wanderer. (vagabond?)

2. ideas are such interesting things. we all know the if i haf one, u haf one, we exchange, we have 2. but look at solving a problem. solutions are usu. found by finding the intersection of solution sets, while with ideas it's the union. dun u think ideas are powerful.

11:14 p.m. - 2003-04-21

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was playing daytona. figured out a few things: u haf to concentrate if u want to do sth well. u haf to maintain a certain standard (in this case sub 19 seconds per lap) if u wanna get first. once u screw up u can still catch up, provided the race is long enuff. but dun ever screw up and go off track, or haf a head on collision. cos it wuld slow u down so much. and change gear quick. well. wat a game. inspirational. (and oso learnt tt wif stress standards can be kept up)

den now i'm watching a movie (blue streak). well it's abt this thieve who left a diamond in a police station and had to pretend to be a detective to retrieve it (hidden in ventilation system) well. rather interesting... before he could find his diamond, however, he helped the police solve a few cases... and so at the end of the story, though they found out eventually tt he was a thieve the police din arrest him. cos he was on mexican soil. well... gd story with a fair share of gd humour.

meanwhile, another thing. tt is the whole series of emails. it's pretty amazing, really. 1 mail and a thread of 19 and possibly more replies. ppl who haf responded (if u notice it's in register order...lol) : jiashen, yukun, guang yong, dick, benson, kao chin, ruiming, kaihan, me, reubs. well. many ppl indeed (10 out of 25 is amazing ok...) and i really find benson a very amazing person with wonderful arguments and clear logic. well not tt the rest cant do tt. all the rest are clearly sure of their stand too. i think 4p rox!

8:57 p.m. - 2003-04-21

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reading blogs...:

hm, but then i think its sort of like when ppl trust u so much, u feel compelled to be honest with them, and its only when ppl start not trusting u when u feel the desire to cheat. sort of like during an exam. hm, maybe not. yup i think this is true...

dun set your sights too high, and always plan to fail, cos if u dun, and u do fail, it sux. hm i do tt a lot but sometimes it makes u over-pessimistic

parents asking me to drop odac and join band.. (hmm) ok "just made a decision. hope i won't regret this. :: oct blogged this at 7:55 AM 20th apr[+] :: "

Oh well, today signalled the start of the council elections process... a little too hasty if u ask me. Haha. when i saw the faces of candidates on the screens on the school tv... i was suddenly quite relieved tat i wasn't part of the process. Not sure whether tat was me consoling myself, but yar, with a great odac training today, and really feeling so much for the people in odac, i realise that i have made the correct decision. - cheechong

looks like many ppl have had to make decisions bcos of odac. well. quite interesting. everyone grows from decision making.

5:12 p.m. - 2003-04-20

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in my email to the class:hi again everyone.

2 days ago when i received guang yong's email i took a careful look at it. i din just delete it as i usually do to my emails in my inbox. my inbox has oways been empty, but this particular email left me to think. my thoughts may not as profound or well (concisely) phrased as those of benson's but while everyone here seems to be slamming the councillors, i wuld like to defend them.

do note that there are 2 ex-prefects who are receiving these emails and who are running for council again.

well. i dun think all want it for power, or specifically for a gd testimonial. there might be those who do that, but there are oso those who really wish to serve the school. there ARE selfless ones around. guang yong's view tt all ppl want power is definitely not true. ppl serve as volunteers in our society, if we're not aware of tt. look ard u. take the save-the-unsold-bread-and-give-it-to-charitable-organisations-scheme as an example. i'm sure they dun get any power thru redistributing bread. it's just highly unfortunate tt in schools, if u wish to serve, u are entitled to power. and so those who really want to serve are now labelled as power-hungry. perhaps they are unaware of the fact (ok this has to be verified yar...) tt joining council doesnt instantly equal to serving.

and regarding how the councillors make fake promises. well i dunno how true tt is. i think we're all not in a position to say whether it is true. cos seriously, do we noe how it all works? we've had no experience of wat u can do as a prefect / councillor. perhaps u really culd introduce reforms to the school system? perhaps they culd haf tried, but the proposals were rejected by the "authorities"? u nver noe. councillors are then perceived to b slackers who do nothing for the school. but of course i've been using many "perhaps"s to give them the benefit of the doubt. personally i think there is a limit to what u can do for the school via council.

i strongly believe tt w/o council the school can survive. yar. it's probably just improving our lives by adding non-neccessities (e.g. providing umbrellas and carrom boards). but no dun tell me "den dun go and borrow an umbrella when it rains lar". cos i will. i mean if it's there i will make use of it. but i guess we have to accept the fact tt the welfare services are there bcos they really have nothing else to do and are desperately trying to find sth to do. seriously. if they were really solving many many problems they wuldnt have the time to come up with such stuff. ultimate proof tt joining council doesnt equal to doing a lot for the school. ok i'm repeating myself but u noe wat i mean. but hey they've made an effort to do sth. we cant ignore their effort even though this effort wasnt necessary.

had a conversation with sunni (perhaps i shud find out which way i shud spell ur name, it's omost like my occasional spelling of words like recognize with a 's') and reflected.

to sum up april:

1st: got tricked by br despite having tricked many ppl thruout the day. learnt from nita to use lots of haha's.

4th: ubin trip. fun.

5th: attempts to write emails to 3f ppl but fails due to lack of time. wrote all those erm comments on 4p ppl, which were later censored. - lesson learnt: be sensitive and keep promises

8th: peirce hike. fun.

9th: my big mouth said sth abt christine. - apparently still not being sensitive enuff

10th: embarks on IBEIP - successful so far

12th: decides his life needs to be governed by goals. sets up excel file with goals. pt/ibeip/research/cip etc pt fails after the 15th. picks up on the 20th again? haha hopefully reason it failed was bcos of a PE lesson which drained me totally, then lost momentum. so now let's haf a rule tt says after killing pe session entitled to one day's rest, ok?

13th: started reading alice

15th: tries to submit research mentorship programme form and succeeds. feels ultra happy bcos of tt and other things tt go smooth. - happiness is short lived. and is built on a hollow foundation.

16th: bad mood from scholarship and many other things. wonders whether i have broken out of friends cycle. looks back at beginning of yr and see how ppl (impressions) haf changed

18th: started reading the parrot's theorem - hoping tt he has picked up the habit of reading. urban class outing did not feel fun.

19th: a tough chorale training which was nonetheless fulfilling. was totally impressed by krishna and reginald

20th: finds out tt lester finds him friendly. decides to find lester nice as well!!! decides he has nver really tried his best in his life apart from perhaps english for o levels (80+%? compared to 45+% for other subjects). thinks tt he likes to be bz and look back to see tt he has done much. is able to accept certain realities, and adjust accordingly to maintain a certain level of competitiveness w/o breaking down from failure to accept inferiority. realises tt depression can be solved by eliminating the root cause: of expecting too much from jc and feeling tt expectations are suddenly not met. learns a final dao4 li3: well i just thought you needed to hear it again coming from someone other than yourself - tt's wat friends are for.

4:19 p.m. - 2003-04-20

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ok this is very interesting:

i wrote in the class blog: u realise tt teaching in jc is actually more or less the same pace (per subject) as tt in sec school and therefore actually the workload is relatively less, considering we take only 5 or 6 subjects. any objections?

and in my email to 4p: guess the studying is even more intense than b4, but hey tt's life lar.

y am i contradicting myself???

one was said on the 16th (4p), the other on the 20th(3f). well... interesting.

and the other part:

class blog: tt's y i'm depressed i think. jc life was appealing. well not any more. and so i've to figure out a way to "re-energize" myself. i wonder how.

4p email: hope everyone is really having fun. well i am... bet everyone is.

is it only these few days tt i suddenly realised tt hey jc is actually not wat i imagined it to be. well it is wat it is for 3 months but after tt it's just back to wat do u call it? life? perhaps. where's the fun gone to? i dunno. fullstop.

2:42 p.m. - 2003-04-20

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well perhaps the first day when i started feeling depressed i felt tt it was just a small thing which i'd get over soon, but i realised it doesnt. it just builds up. with bad things happening here and there which wuld not haf affected me much usu but are now piling up to make me feel unhappy. well. find a way to settle this somehow.

10:51 p.m. - 2003-04-19

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for once choir practice is actually tiring but fun. yar really loved the music. anyway some stray thoughts:

yiling has smiled at me whenever i say hi to her; tt is after i had quit odac.

raindrops hit u quite hard and it's actually painful if u put ur hand out of the window when the car's travelling at 80kph in rain.

9:56 p.m. - 2003-04-19

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just some interesting stuff from today:

bena and i exchanging tai2 ci2 when buying bread. me saying it's only 40 cents while she saying it's only 60 cents when it's suposed to be the other way round.

ee sang saying tt 3f are like water molecules forming transient bonds

bena's sms (sent in the morning) reaching my fone only when i was watching johnny english

and perhaps. i dun like urban outings. yar i'd need more chats i guess

i still hafent really recovered to bcum happy. and it doesnt help tt xh just told me i was a loser straight in my face when i was eating thai food. wateva for. it was probably a joke but i'm not exactly in a very gd mood.

11:12 p.m. - 2003-04-18

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a very good night.(fyi i'm not trying to say tt the night was gd. i'm wishing myself gd nite). sweet dreams hk. too tired liao. (now's 10.13)... just some thoughts after reading streats which found out abt this nus medi students' blog and published wat was written there. i realised there's no privacy to tok abt, cos it's on the internet, it's free for all. i just realised tt. well i better not say anyhting wrong then lest they come hunt me down... haha. so the thing is does it mean tt my blog is therefore part of the new type of mass media? is there therefore a need for censorship? is it only violence and pornography that needs censorship in the case of the internet? or perhaps more importantly it's the ultra radical ideas? or maybe just let the audience see every side of the argument and come to their own conclusion as long as they are mature enuff to do so. wat china does nowadays is limit the number of sites ppl can access, but perhaps tt's the right thing to do. i mean the level of censorship really has to do wif how mature the ppl are in tt country...

9:31 p.m. - 2003-04-17

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was reading sunny's blog. found a few points which i felt were (are) true:

you come home and go straight to the computer (despite resolving to stay away until all the work for the day is done) --- exactly

you take seeing your classmates for granted, once again --- think so too.

9:23 p.m. - 2003-04-16

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well actually. i've decided tt there's no use for me to feel sad abt all these. all has struck me on one day. huo4 bu4 dan1 xing2. but i guess tian1 zai4 zuo4 nong4 wo1. was on the extreme happy end yesterday now i'm on the extreme depressed end. (dun u think it's unfair tt u dun haf to get out of being happy, but u haf to try to get out of being depressed...) anyway. so i've come up with gd solutions and consolations. first of all. hafent done tutorials. DO THEM!!! simple solution. GP essay. DO RESEARCH AND JUST WRITE MY BEST!!! project work grp. There's nothing wrong with Lester. It's just tt I never tried to talk to him. I'm sure he's a nice guy. As for Christelle, I'll do what I can. (and perhaps she isnt really wat i imagine her to be) I mean if I face it in a horrible way it'll just turn out horrible for me. So if I want to get my project work done well, then just look at it on the positive side! (anyway the class really encourages me to ask WATEVA i dunno, including lots of vocab) And the interview: well as my father says they keep questioning us to see our response. guess so. i din respond so well. so wat? doesnt really matter. treat this as an experience. perhaps i wunt get the scholarship but so wat it's not as though i'm depending on it for my 3 meals. and it's better to screw up now than later.

haha so i must face life lar. this is life. lol. haha just now played sinfonia number 2 in c minor, supposed to make me sadder but it didnt work though i changed the picardi's third. well then i sang just a single voice / all things bright and beautiful / do you hear what I hear? with piano and i was quite pleased with my performance...

9:07 p.m. - 2003-04-16

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well. depressing enuff day it was. not gd at all. not at all. it all began with the maths tutorial. i realised i din do it. din touch it. did until 1(C). feel totally guilty. feel out of place. everyone has done theirs, no matter how bz they are. i hafent. well. tt's it. i was worried abt the gp essay for which i din do research, but luckily it was delayed. lucky or not u decide. zi4 qi1 qi1 ren2. well. dunno if i can even write an essay 4 months into JC. well done. then was finding out abt project work. wow. wonders. my grp contains who? lester. christelle. xuxu. shifeng. well. guess i can work with the last two. i'd haf to try my luck with the first two, it all depends. yes. den was the interview. isnt it exciting tt the 2 men were not interested to ask me any questions at all when they were bzily questioning the rest. my interview was surprisingly short. all i noe is tt i made myself look like this idiotic student who thinks highly of himself (cos he feels confident of his chinese) and would rather take japanese than chinese, and is highly indecisive and quit odac only after 3 months and is a loser and ended up in chorale again. well if tt's not enuff i left my umbrella there. or perhaps it wasnt even there. somewhere lar. ok is tt enuff? well enuff to make a person depressed i'm sure. then i met weili on the way back. he was the first whom i told tt i screwed up. he dint really noe how to respond i guess. i wunt if i were in his shoes. so i din feel consoled. well duh. he said he was on his way back cos training had already ended. i told him he shud haf been like me, call up to ask if training was ending. i just went on. went to ts, had sectionals for no more than 5 minutes. no warm ups cannot memorise, off pitch, such lousy singing. went to the lt for combined at 5.30. supposedly anyway, din even sing at all. all they did was collect money for the t-shirt. and tt was it. ok tt's fine. nothing much. all i did was walk all the way back from moe to pay $14 for a choir t-shirt. haha and guess wat. went to take 75 home, met the teacher-in-charge of the nus research thingie. and u noe wat. it might just be scrapped. cos they werent too happy wif last yr's batch plus the sars thingie (which is probably an excuse). ok. so much for being happy abt it yesterday. and den on the way back culdnt even sleep properly, the seat was so uncomfortable. saw youli on the last stretch of the ride, and she showed me the project work test paper. ok very interesting. a past event tt we can learn lessons from. the other one was synergy. WOW. VERY INTERESTING INDEED.

ok tt's how my today ended up so so so so screwed up. wat a happy day. let's try to solve it all by tml... :'(

7:00 p.m. - 2003-04-16

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well. start with the not so good news. cathay is losing money and i myself am feeling the effect of the SARS outbreak. well, finally. and i feel just so helpless. anyway.

on a lighter note. i'm very very happy today. bcos of many reasons. (though it doesnt help tt i began the day wif aircon blowing right at my head for the whole bus trip and was stinking away after pe in the jap room which is well cooled. so let's hope i dun get sick) first of all it wasnt too late for me to hand in the research mentorship programme thingie. yay, at least i've a chance to get some exposure to research now... well actually i've oways wanted to do it, but sec 3 smp i was stuck wif sungei buloh, srp i was stuck wif odac, yar so now's the chance (i missed terp). well may not be prestigious or wateva but the experience is gd i guess... ok wat else. i managed to do pull ups!!! in fact 3. well done hong king. well. do u noe how happy i feel? haha very. well perhaps i wunt be able to do next PE lesson, but very well... i've done it b4 and i wuld be able to do it again! yay. and wait just now i 4got. basically i ran 5 rounds in 9.44 even after doing all those push ups sit ups shuttle runs one legged hops. wow. i'm impressed wif myself. even the first round required struggling. and yet i maintained 9.44. wow.

so u c i was pretty happy... haha

and yes i'm picking up reading as a habit i guess. stole the book from sunni to read for, well, 4 days right... haha. ok. tt's tt. wat else. let me see. got our new timetable. tml start of project work briefing. well exciting week ahead.

8:34 p.m. - 2003-04-15

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ok wow. suddenly decided:

my studies shall now be divided into 2: gp+jap and others. yup therefore i'll work ultra hard on gp... :)

11:46 p.m. - 2003-04-14

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i oso realised another thing on the way back from the lesson. it's raining right... so i realised tt since i was wearing sandals it doesnt matter if my feet get wet, so i just held the umbrella in such a way tt i dun bother abt my feet. and guess wat although there was wind and everything and i shud haf been wet, i was totally dry. so it tells us wat? if u dun haf the ability to do everything well, perhaps just give up on some and concentrate on the rest and do well for the rest? hm, perhaps indeed. but shud tt be the principle guiding my life? not exactly right... doesnt really make sense to totally give up. aiyah see how lar...

6:03 p.m. - 2003-04-14

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well. finished my piano lesson. i tell u it was fun... haha bena and wei li stare at the keyboard to see if it culd be whiter. well quite unlike me right, as in for me not to stare and say it's not white enuff. guess wat happened today. many things. such much tt i had to tell her wait, let me write down sth, b4 i continued wif the lesson.

first she said she didnt want me to tickle the keyboard for it will giggle and distract me. (well cos i was playing too softly)

then i kept playing a B when it was supposed to be an A, so she said A for Andy!!

those are the funny ones. then she suddenly reminded me tt music is such a wonderful language. it's really universal. instrumental pieces only of course. but yar she was telling me abt how there used to be this japanese girl living a few floors down and she'd just tell her to come play beethoven "spring" sonata (i love it...) with her. though each culdnt speak the other's tongue. well yar music is quite powerful right... and i was telling my teacher how happy i was abt 5 times. cos i finally know how to recognise modulations, but i'm probably going to lose it by next week, but still... :) wat happened was i cheated. i immediately found the subdominant and started humming it. so if it ends not in wat i was humming it was likely to be dominant. of cos if it begins major and ends minor or begins minor and ends major then there shudnt be too many problems. ok right ppl who dunno music realise they are reading a whole bunch of alien language. well if u want ask the diploma takers to teach u. oh and do teach me how to actually recognise modulations without having to count the interval, i.e. can just tell like tt. i find it hard.

anyway yes i thought the fidgeting at bk was really interesting... really shud haf taken a foto of us... haha. with erm me firing ice cubes / squeezing cup. bena widening the straw hole. wei li doing wat both of us did. and bing rui totally depressing the "cover"... so interesting yar, being unable to keep still... and sorry for wetting ur stuff hon lyn i hope they are dry by now... well in case u all stay away from me next time when i'm bored, dunt. cos i'm dangerous only at the beginning u c. after tt i'm not. so dun worry. :P

haha bean going to watch bean. laff. haha. laff. bean.. hahahahahahahahah. rotflol

5:43 p.m. - 2003-04-14

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i was so confused just now. was typing in one chat window. then typed in another. then one second later i was wondering wat happened to those words which i typed just a few seconds earlier (in the other window...) too sleepy liao lar...

11:06 p.m. - 2003-04-13

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yes i realised everything i'm doing now is of a highly elementary level. but nvm, there's oways a place and time to start. and that is now. got sort of inspired by the china scholars (on newspapers) who come to sg not knowing english and end up getting a1 for gp. so i've convinced myself tt i'd be able to do sth as long as i put in hard work. well. to discourage me from slacking i can say this: the rest of the college will put in hard work and "ni shui xing zhou bu jing ze tui..." yup, so tt's tt.

meanwhile after looking at the quiz results, i start to wonder. maybe others know me better than i noe myself. maybe i dun actually like to go and watch other ppl's concert. i just make myself feel like i like it???!? how complicated.

10:45 p.m. - 2003-04-13

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hey everyone. i've not been updating cos i've been doing quite a bit of things. not tutorials though. first was my attempt to read ST articles and try and identify arguments. then was trying to read alice in wonderland from project gutenburg. not bad lar really did quite a bit of things. also started the PT master plan. erm i'm now doing 30 pushups, 40 situps, 80 stepups, 60 squats, 20 backraisers. well dun laff. i noe it's damn pathetic. but for me a fully unfit person to have the initiative to do it it's really worth encouraging. well plus stairs climbing and 2.4 or canal route if i feel like it... haha ok will increase as i improve...

ok shall proceed with my tutorials. hafent really touched them at all... if xh din call me just now i'd haf just forgotten abt them altogether... oops... :P

10:07 p.m. - 2003-04-13

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quite interesting yar: Taiwan's 'one China' position has undergone significant changes, from 'one China only' to 'one China, two governments' (1990), 'one China, two equal political entities' (February 1991), 'transitional two Chinas' (November 1993), 'coexistence of two equal international legal entities' (1994), 'two equal political entities' without mentioning 'one China' (since 1994), the 'two states' theory (July 1999), and 'one country on each side of the Taiwan Strait' (August 2002)

next thing is my quiz. quite interesting to note tt ppl think i dont like mugging but always do it. well. i like to read but not mug. wait not fiction or any type of book but txtbks. but i dun regard tt as mugging. it definitely isnt. and again. whether i wuld prefer sleeping or going to watch a concert. really depends yar. sorry u ppl might not haf gotten tt question wrong after all...

4:57 p.m. - 2003-04-13

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Think about each one at a time BEFORE going on to the next

one.........IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD especially the thought at the end.

1. Falling in love. 2. Laughing so hard your face hurts. 3. A hot shower. 4. No lines at the supermarket 5. A special glance. 6. Getting mail 7. Taking a drive on a pretty road. 8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio. 9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside. 10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer. 11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price. 12. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla!) (or strawberry) 13. A long distance phone call. 14. A bubble bath. 15. Giggling. 16. A good conversation. 17. The beach 18. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter. 19. Laughing at yourself. 20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours. 21. Running through sprinklers. 22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all. 23. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful. 24. Laughing at an inside joke. 25. FRIENDS!!! 26. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you. 27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep. 28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner). 29. Making new friends or spending time with old ones. 30. Playing with a new puppy. 31. Having someone play with your hair. 32. Sweet dreams. 33. Hot chocolate. 34. Road trips with friends. 35. Swinging on swings. 36. Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating cookies and drinking your favorite tipple. 37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid. 38. Going to a really good concert. 39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger 40. Winning a really competitive game. 41. Making chocolate chip cookies and eating the cookie dough 42. Having your friends send you home-made cookies. 43. Spending time with close friends. 44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends. 45. Holding hands with someone you care about. 46. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad or never change) 47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over. 48. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you. 49. Watching the sunrise. 50. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.

well for me: i wuld haf filtered some of them... feeling gd right... surprisingly i dun think i feel gd riding roller coasters though i love them... anyway, here's wat i personally like most:

1,5,6,13,19,22,24,25,26,29,32,34,39,40,43,44,48 (only 17 of them...)

particularly some which i hate: waking up to find out tt i haf a few more hrs to sleep. NO THANX!!! means tt my sleep was disturbed. have someone play with my hair. ok not exactly hate, but last time when it was the totally short one, wah ppl just keep (complete the sentence for me thanx). but i guess this's for girls.

and i was oso thinking whether i actually do enjoy going for concerts... hm.

1:54 p.m. - 2003-04-13

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a few things i noticed/ was thinking abt.

well saw quite a number of odac ppl today and yay they were so friendly!!

roads are actually naturally swept by the wind created by vehicles passing by.

i'm starting to feel old, no longer a teenager. look, I'm going to be 17 this year. going to be a young adult. whether i can make it or not's another matter, but tt's wat my age says.

just now on the way back from chorale on the mrt, 4 of us were there. out of which 3 were new members, as in din join right at the beginning, so managed to tok, not bad. seriously i think it's bcos ppl oreadi noe each other b4 this (i.e. girls and girls, boys and boys) tt there is this big divide. anyway. hopefully it's gonna be gone.

interesting thing tt happened: so i found out erm wat's her name yes jesse takes jap, so i spoke jap. den jason said. yes i understand. tracy followed suit, saying me too. and what's funny is: Jesse really thinks tt both of them understand. I thought tracy and jason were being sarcastic. Tracy thought Jason was being sarcastic. Jason actually really understood. now isnt tt interesting and confusing...

last thing. yay the lrt broke down. refer to class blog.

6:52 p.m. - 2003-04-12

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thought of several things today. wanted to keep quiet for the whole day but failed again... :( anyway. 1. why is a week made of 7 days, not 6 days? who determined it? hm. 2. i'm forgetting how to write chinese. what to do? as in cant differentiate bet chinese and jap sometimes. 3. i shud reduce any exaggeration when telling abt experiences.

haha i've much confidence (Hopefully - now where is the confidence?!?! haha) tt IBEIP will work out well. the excel file is logging all tt i'm doing. yup i can do it!!!

yes some observations from my trip to school this morning: the road stretch off the bus stop at hume park is tilted so the bus is tilted to the right. the door of the old tibs bus culd not close and had to be closed manually by the driver.

ate waffle. rather nice. though chocolate and peanut butter actually din really mix tt well. but maybe it was well. wateva.

some good deeds i did today? haha i helped a teacher who was holding boxes which were stacking up beyond her head. she was walking down the stairs and i wonder how she culd do it when she cant c...

chem prac was so hurried. very very. and the purple colour is so hard to get.

oh no my thoughts are so fragmented.

jap lesson? haha. there wasnt one today. well. got to know a few rg geps, basically shi xuan and henna?!? haha yes. and shi xuan and ming jing both are taking jap not entirely out of interest, or perhaps not out of interest, but rather for the purpose of staying in contact with the language. "highly encouraged" by parents. well i din noe there were really so many ppl who are not exactly SO interested in jap and yet taking it. but then again this is the ao class and this level of interest is rather expected.

9:35 p.m. - 2003-04-11

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damn pissed wif my mother. apparently much of the world is being told not to chat online. hm. she's going overboard. i'm too. as in really spending lots of time. but so wat. sometimes i need to wat.... :@ and she was pissed wif me for going to bugis to buy the bday presents as well. wat on earth... i wuld like to think i noe how to plan my time. but apparently she thinks tt i dunt. or maybe there's some truth in tt. but so wat. the whole world's like tt.! she switched off my room's lights and told me not to care abt my studies. HELLO! it's not as though my results are getting extremely terrible or anything. HI! welcome to life. wat's wrong wif her. i'm doing my hw in fact in a nver-b4 structured manner!!! revision and so on. so as long as i dun use the comp it's efficient use of time. to her it seems so. well. well. well. i tend to believe however tt i stone more looking at the walls. well wateva.! :@

11:03 p.m. - 2003-04-10

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well today anything interesting? not really. anyway my back and right arm muscles are aching from the stone skipping into lower peirce from upper peirce park.

had a pretty boring physics practical as usual, unfortunately i poured away the water b4 weighing it. and i oso din bring my long ruler. wow.

then went to bugis to buy bday presents. was ultra tired

last thing. i may come. i can come. may not come. (From least probable to most probable)

8:07 p.m. - 2003-04-10

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When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

9:40 p.m. - 2003-04-09

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i've quite a lot to say today. well. first of all. my big mouth said the wrong thing again today... sorry christine... yar. thoughts tt nver goes thru my brain come out like tt... but i guess it's gd to see the class react the way they did. but actually in a way i thought it worsened it a bit? i dunno. but i noe i'm sorry. feel so stupid. as in i culd haf salvaged the situation by saying sth stupid like cos her register number is the lowest??!? anyway...

the other thing is my mother cancelled my june trip to japan!!! oh no what to do. as in a few things. it's very funny actually. cos. it's very hard to tell them tt i cant go after all since they're expecting me and my going wo tanoshimi ni shiteimasu. but well what to do. it's been cancelled. and u noe wat, the thing is i thought i wuldnt really mind it being cancelled cos my piano teacher told me not to go on trips this hols so as to practise for my exam. but now both italy trip and japan trip is gone. not tt i'm going to rot away at home u noe. it's just tt i'm feeling angry. my mum cancelled it bcos of sars. stupid stupid reason. ARGH. haiyah. want to go leh. at least can pratise using jap again. OOI... cant believe it.

and finally a quote: The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

8:33 p.m. - 2003-04-09

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well went on peirce hike today. no time for details... basically met dogs lar, tt was abt the most exciting part. we thought we were lost as well, but actually i knew within me tt we cant really get lost but ppl really felt insecure... but nvm. really shows the difference bet odacians (ok i'm not one but i was one) and normal ppl. how the adventurosity differs. but we took only 1.5 hrs!! haha. missed the bamboo growth and the little clearing where we first saw the reservoir, cos we insisted on going north instead upon seeing the water. guess we were actually a bit norther than the previous recce. cos i din really keep to west all the time... remembered seeing west slightly to the left all the time. hm. haha. nvm we got out in the end.

anyway was thinking abt how actually all decisions haf been made for me like long ago. as in really, i just realised it. y am i in chorale now? well perhaps ask y i was in choir in sec 1. or y did i not join council. bcos i was not a prefect in ri, which culd very well haf changed my decisions now. so in a way, decisions made later in life are highly limited by decisions made earlier... or rather by earlier conditions... not necessarily decisions.

10:10 p.m. - 2003-04-08

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ok. i shall change my use-of-comp policy. due to various factors.

1. i haf not done my tutorials

2. my comp's cpu is currently at 50�C

3. my internet time is like running out

4. my eyes are turning for bad to worse

5. my time is running out - i've done nothing in the whole day

6. comps cost abt $0.30 to run per hour and i notice i leave it on 14 hrs a day.

7. my comp's been hanging as often as u drink a cup of water

so basically i wunt switch on the comp until all work has been finished... haha. let's hope it works... yes it wuld

for the greater good of me

11:00 p.m. - 2003-04-07

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i might haf said this a zillion times. but hey hong king, really have confidence in yourself and you'd really do fine. really felt it during piano lesson. it was some sort of fake confidence cos actually i noe i was unable to perform well, but just look on the bright side and things wuld turn out well... actually i believe tt happened for my 'o's as well... anyway yup.

and specifically regarding piano right... just play bcos u want to share the music with others, bcos u want to show off how well u can play, or even if i cant play well, try and share my personal interpretation... dun go to the exam room thinking aiyah i'm playing to get high marks for the exam. doesnt work that way... :)

9:08 p.m. - 2003-04-07

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well just now was looking out. wow. bkt timah hill looks so mysterious with the mist and stuff. different shades some more...

and oso the other thing i was thinking of. ok i forgot. yes. i was at the "tuition centre" downstairs, and some p4 kid's compo was on display. my god. wonderful phrases, like how her father's qin qie de yan shen bei4 yan jing zhe zhu le, or how her tears gushed out like pearls from a broken necklace... i was like still wondering how to write simple words at tt age i guess... haha

5:49 p.m. - 2003-04-07

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haha suddenly i was thinking. i miss the days when i call companies(specifically customer service of magix) for technical help and they'd ask me "how can i help u m'am?" or ask for my name then "how can i help you ms wu?" hahaha

by the way the picture u c on top is what i can see out from my window... yup

1:22 p.m. - 2003-04-07

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hongking's Diaryland Diary

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well. i'm saying gd bye to diaryland i think. moving over to blogspot. http://hongking.blogspot.com

as usual i'm not creative enuff to create any nice name. so hongking it shall be. those linking to me? if u ever read this perhaps u culd change ur links. if not, nvm oso cos ppl coming here will be redirected.

12:45 p.m. - 2003-06-01

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in an attempt to reduce my internet time wastage, i'm going to introduce a new rule regarding the usage of the broadband connection. the following requirements must be met to allow the connection to be left on:

(a) at any one time 27 ppl must be online on msn.

or (b) at any one time 15 ppl must be online on msn, and there is a genuine need for surfing the net i.e. searching for info.

this is to ensure tt the broadband connection is fully utilized. after all, 42 hrs a month isnt a lot. (to someone who is addicted to the comp) yup. wat a very gd way of restricting my usage. :D

anyway apparently just now there was a conflict between the tracker script and the comments script. but now there's no problem... gd.

i realise tt pictures make my blog more interesting. well here i haf one of my screwed up monitor (+ comp).

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Test

mean = how i generally act. main = how i prefer to act well i think it's quite accurate for me... changed the adjectives a bit and tried again. (simple one)

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Test

hm i took another one. this time the advanced one. and i got this:

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Test

second time:

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Test

i wonder... but these two are actually close to each other

[[ Your match with Bao Rong you are 71% similar you are 90% complementary

[[ Your match with Yingheng you are 71% similar you are 90% complementary

[[ Your match with Qian Li you are 73% similar you are 59% complementary

[[ Your match with Jason Tan you are 74% similar you are 54% complementary

[[ Your match with Nita you are 74% similar you are 56% complementary

[[ Your match with Chun Hui you are 74% similar you are 82% complementary

[[ Your match with Nicholas Tan YM you are 76% similar you are 92% complementary

[[ Your match with Hon Lyn you are 78% similar you are 59% complementary

[[ Your match with Olivia Tan you are 79% similar you are 61% complementary

[[ Your match with Andy you are 79% similar you are 87% complementary

[[ Your match with Bena you are 83% similar you are 60% complementary

[[ Your match with Yan jie you are 83% similar you are 72% complementary

[[ Your match with Xu Xu you are 84% similar you are 71% complementary

[[ Your match with Jamin you are 85% similar you are 66% complementary

[[ Your match with Xiaohui you are 85% similar you are 71% complementary

[[ Your match with Sing Yong you are 85% similar you are 71% complementary

[[ Your match with Yukun you are 87% similar you are 77% complementary

[[ Your match with Damien you are 89% similar you are 72% complementary

[[ Your match with Sun Yi you are 89% similar you are 77% complementary

[[ Your match with Andrew you are 89% similar you are 83% complementary

[[ Your match with Conrad you are 91% similar you are 77% complementary

[[ Your match with Xinyi you are 92% similar you are 80% complementary

erm for my type right: here's the description quite accurate lar

Type 7 - fun loving, energetic, daring

Type 8 - confrontational, tough, unyielding

Type 9 - calming, peace loving, even tempered

though 8 and 9 might like they contradict each other i guess they can be together. confrontational doesnt necessarily mean no peace.

the rest in case u all might want to noe:

Type 1 - orderly, fastidious, stiff

Type 2 - caring, considerate, loving

Type 3 - entertaining, accomplished, committed

Type 4 - artistic, melodramatic, soulful

Type 5 - philosophical, intellectual, innovative

Type 6 - cynical, neurotic, cautious

hm i'm not orderly, not caring, not considerate (true enuff), not entertaining (hm), not artistic (definitely), not intellectual / philosophical (guess so), not cautious/cynical (true enuff).

haha ok i think it's accurate. and i think i'm really similar to xinyi. haha so interesting...

8:22 p.m. - 2003-04-06

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perhaps ppl culd give me opinions on this: should i be frank with the world, as long as i remain sensitive. i.e. only tell the person involved of cos. cos i think it's really much better tt way, to be honest with everyone and not haf anything build up, as in like dislikes or wateva nots. yup. i think so. what do u think?

8:01 p.m. - 2003-04-06

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there's sth abt skyjuice tt's very suspicious. saw it just now at a restaurant (name for plain water) and then it was oso the email address of some person in some forwarded mail. hm

7:56 p.m. - 2003-04-06

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somehow tonight i've been thinking...

why is the news full of death reports. what exactly do we actually want to find out from the news? do i care how many ppl died bcos of wateva reasons? as in after all there are so many who are just dying a natural death...

like what haf i heard on the news recently. sars. ppl dying. war. ppl dying. planes crashing here and there. car accidents. trains getting derailed. wateva else. stars jumping off buildings. stars dying of cancer. students dying of boredom? haha no. but yes all deaths... very boring.

11:21 p.m. - 2003-04-05

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well. suddenly thought of sth. was thinking. how does anyone ever make a decision? i'm telling myself to be decisive, mroe importantly to come to a decision more quickly. but how do i do it? guang telling myself to do it will bring me nowhere...

let's see how i decide. if it's sth like based on moral values, there shudnt be a problem. but if it's just whether i want to do this or that. ah there comes the problem.

though i must say tt as of now, i'm feeling ultra satisifed, much so than ever b4, of my decision to rejoin chorale. for a few reasons. i can really go to the outdoors on my own. not really on my own lar, as in i cant possibly go myself. but hey there's this grp of on ppl in my class and i'm sure i'll be able to bond wif them and go on more expeditions. after all ubin yesterday was really fun. and well looking forward to peirce despite the weather... yar. so i'm really glad. and i think music is really sth tt one shud nver miss in their life. as in more on the classical of cos. not pop... haha.

right. that was a small digression. when i make a decision. i list out all the pros and cons. i list out the what if i din go? consequences, the reasons (push or pull factors), what i can get out of it (benefits / potential development), etc. but i realised it doesnt help sometimes. not when the list on both sides are full. or when there is an ultra strong reason on one side and many smaller reasons on the other. it's like going to the market and u haf 3 dollars and u dunno whether u want to buy 4 pears or 5 apples for ur distant relatives when visiting them. ok fine it's diff. in this case u just wunt bother. in my situations usu i think too much. but in the end it's the same, u cant actually decide on one base on strong reasons and just end up minimaniminimo in the end. right? ha. tt's wat happens when i decide.

tt's y i cant decide quick. cos i noe i am just choosing based probably on impulse. den i'm afraid of regretting it. den i contemplate more. and den tt's it. nver come to a decision. so far it's oways been like tt for me.

and den so how? what forces me to decide? well. 3 possible ways.

tokking to someone abt it, probably in a biased way so tt one side appears far more appealing than the other, and i take it, and i noe i must make the decision there and then bcos after tt i'll start thinking and be back to square one. using impulse again, but this time with an "external factor".

time factor. sometimes in life things come with deadlines. if i haf to do sth by the deadline to choose tt route, i probably wunt go there. if i haf to do sth to get out of tt route, i probably wuld go there. u get the pt. i just cant be bothered. let time pass slowly away. unless suddenly swayed by the above (tokking) i just dunt take action and let the decision come out from nowhere after the seconds hand goes from 59 to 00.

obligation. rules. law. fixed. must. ok wat do i mean. not very gd words to describe wat i want to say actually... when u're oreadi doing sth, and u haf an obligation to do it. i'm given a choice. it's likely for me to say tt i wuld just stay on bcos i shud be continuing wif wat i was doing. or this eg. LET'S SAY. (THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT TRUE COS IF IT REALLY WERE TO HAVE HAPPENED I WULD HAF TOKKED ABT IT LIKE FOR 5 DAYS AND STILL NOT COME TO A CONCLUSION) i haf signed up for an immersion programme to japan. i haf syf. it clashes. wat to do? i'll end up in japan. y? cos i oreadi signed up, paid money, cannot withdraw. tt is a sad decision. tt's of cos if there's even a chance for me to make a decision. perhaps to me i just c it as i haf to go to japan and so i cant make a choice. but maybe some other ppl in this world. they wuld fight their way for syf. who noes? i admire those ppl.

hey so can someone tell me how to make decisions. i cant simply go on waiting for my decision to be made for me right...

9:57 p.m. - 2003-04-05

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right. the weather. cold and depressing with rain and thunder and lightning. perfect weather for me to curl up in bed and start thinking wat the hell am i doing now.

8:20 p.m. - 2003-04-05

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well. i'm back. i'm very pissed with myself at this moment, feeling absolutely lost. hafing done nothing at all these few days. well the remorse over insensitivity and inability to keep secrets is over. i will remember it... but at this moment. i've so many things to do.

to learn more choir syf pieces. my god i hate memorising. i'm simply too slow at it. and wat's wrong? all so high. i cant even sing them properly. sound so so awful... nvm abt tt.

and den i had so much fun yesterday that i want more. but it's tt type of after fun u feel horrible thing... and den i noe i want to go for the tuesday one. but it'll rain. and i wuld lose one more day to do wat i need to do.

alright wat else do i need to do. to finish up all my tutorials!!! to learn my piano new pieces, to revise my exam pieces, to play scales. ok tt wasnt enuff. i still haf to go do my membrane ppt. ok as though 3 more days wuld suffice... :S

well done hk well done.

8:09 p.m. - 2003-04-05

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2 things learnt on a night like this. i cant keep secrets. so now i must tell myself secrets are meant to be kept. not to be told to the whole world. sometimes i really cannot be honest with the world. must be sensitive. today i was an utter disgrace... well. i'm too frank wif ppl and like ppl to be. but apparently some wuldnt want it to be so. so i shall keep my big mouth shut. and for the time being, close the blog as well... until i decide to reopen it again... :'(

10:43 p.m. - 2003-04-02

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well. if u c a nurse coming out from ttsh, wat wuld u do?

as a pragmatic singaporean we are most likely to stay away from her. make her seem like she has an invisible coat of radius 1 m or sth.

is tt wrong? i guess not. we're trying to protect urselves of cos, but in a way we're minimising the risk of it spreading to us and causing more trouble. are we therefore, in protecting our own interests out of being kiasi, being socially responsible? how stupid.

poor medical staff. really at risk of getting the virus and yet feeling the social pressure as well

10:27 p.m. - 2003-04-02

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tt was 2910 words written in 71 minutes

41 words per minute. not bad + thinking time mar... and copy and paste here and there. an average of abt 1 word in 1.5 seconds. not bad at all

6:05 p.m. - 2003-04-02

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hi sing yong i guess u're still asleep now... and no my html is not gd and i am in no position to help u...

P.S. 9PM = 5AM formula? isnt tt GMT hm.

u've grown up. i oways had the feeling tt u nver did reflect up to sec 4? i dunno... gd tt u do it now. and yes actually it's really funny how little common interests we haf and yet we remain wonderful friends. i wonder.

anyway i've grown up too. i realised i grew up really only after sec 3 going to japan, then going to endau rompin. and so on. that was when i grew up. surprisingly. very. daniel was also a key factor in my sudden retreating to myself for one whole year, for reflections to occur throughout 2002, to make myself a better me (though unsuccessful), and that was when i actually observed ppl and grow from tt. i remembered very clearly last yr when the class went to jurong island. we were the usual playful bunch and as usual we spoiled their exhibits. i think tt's one of the first few times when i felt mature, felt that i've grown up, as far as i can recall (which usu is limited to 1 yr i guess wat on earth can u do wif this sucky memory of mine...) anyway yes i was thinking oh no spoiled again, cant we just be more civilised, and just take a look, be more si1 wen2. it nver happened. it nver will i guess. 4p's gonna be like tt. i nver ever dared to bring anything from home to sch. y? bcos it's 150% going to be broken into pieces or sth like tt. i nver trusted 4p ppl in handling stuff. hai2 shi4 qin1 li4 qin1 wei2 bi3 jiao4 hao3... (haha i'm glad to say i can trust 1so3f... yay!)

well i din haf a very wide social circle either. really sad case actually. but hey i'm expanding my social circle now... grabbing every chance to know ppl. and yar considering the fact tt i was in odac, there's already this bunch of ppl there. then those who quit odac b4 odac even started. still keeping in contact with them... og. or geog soc. ppl've been telling me i'm sociable. gd. very gd. i mean it sort of compensates? sometimes i think it's got to do with whether the other side wants to even come into contact wif u? in what sense u ask? well as far as i am concerned in ri, ppl like ze peng, elgin, sheng rong, nicholas tan, etc u get the pt. they nver really did interact wif me. not tt they do now. so yar i guess actually my social circle suffers when i'm in a all boy's school, cos i just stand out so much, dun like soccer, just list anything that they do and that will be my hate list or sth lydat... but i guess in a co-ed environment ppl accept me more. strange but true.

anyway b4 the entry gets too long i'm copying and pasting this whole lot in case the comp hangs (tis oways a gd practice)

yar i dunno actually. if i look back at let's say my september entries does it show how changed i am? not really i guess... i dunno. somehow i wasnt me during the 'o's lar. it was some sort of coincidental transition. yup tt's the best phrase to describe it?

actually another reason y my social circle is actually small? i dunno if this is like total blaming, but i think it's my mother. she doesnt allow me to do this do tt, such tt even when she doesnt say i dun even bother to ask her, cos i'll just make her pissed or sth. and it seems to her tt going out is a luxury cos during her time she nver did go out. she doesnt really understand yar. but hope everyone understands. it's not as though i dun want to go. but wat happens as a result is ppl stop asking me to go out, and so i'm all the more miserable. yup. so well... hai. guess i'd haf to live wif it. but wait actually sing yong i really like to thank u... i realised tt no matter how many times u ask and obviously i'd say sth like next time, or this time cannot, u'd still bother to ask... :)

and ok. to everyone. i'm not one who thanks ppl easily ok. i'm nver really grateful to anyone. cos in case u still dunno by now, i'm a person who doesnt really feel the extremes. nver really felt happy in my life. as in yar nope. sadness there is however. regret esp for the prague trip. yar. but yar i'm a pretty neutral person. seems like i've some buffer like carbonate ions or sth tt prevent extremes from occurring. ok wateva.

thanks to sing yong again for starting me off reflecting (as in this time). wanted to send out those emails but nope i think i'll just write wateva i want to say here lar, not like there's anything secret abt them right... dun think i can haf the luxury of writing to everyone, when each email usu has to look decently long...

tokking abt friendship, actually it's rather interesting. ok of cos it is open bracket duh close bracket. as in wat i realised from "bao rong's leaving for ireland :P" is tt: it seems to me tt friendships develop to become stronger if u actually stay further away from each other, as in like not see each other every day? it's a different kind of friendship. allow me to explain, just pardon my bad grammar. when u c each other every day, u tok abt lots of crap, u tok abt hw, u do hw together perhaps, u go eating together, (u go shit together? haha sing yong... east coast last yr/endau rompin) u just do things together. bonding occurs. i guess so. sometimes if it gets rather close must bear in mind to tolerate differences / bad pts and tell the person. yar otherwise the relationship turns sour. lesson learnt. the other type is like now bet me and sing yong i think, tt's the best case study i haf currently... we dun c each other every day, but u haf the urge to tok abt life, to reflect. i dunno. somehow i seem to like the second type of friendship better. but it wuld be best if both can be combined. perhaps it can.

now on to the personal descriptions. and yes the ppl involved pls pls do send me emails to perhaps clarify some pts if i mis-understand some part of u? yar.

ok wait.

i'll stop here. i've decided not to include 1so3f ppl. dun ask me y. i'm sending them out on email. but i'll do 4p. yes interestingly. 4p. in register order:: and if i haf nothing to say abt u ur name wuld just not appear. unfortunate har... but no lar i believe u wunt really be hurt either cos probably u dun noe me well either. yar i think so. but if u r hurt do drop me a mail perhaps i can do sth? haha actually i can do nothing lar... i dunno u i write rubbish for wat, like nice person issit? tt's the worse thing to get when u ask ppl for feedback and u just get these 2 words. it simply means they cant find anything better to say abt u. alright? dun cry.

=censored= =censored= =censored= =censored= =censored= =censored= =censored= =censored= =censored= =censored=

ok finally done. da gong gao cheng. i did one for every person after all...

hk 5:53pm

4:42 p.m. - 2003-04-02

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hey i dun like my tag board.... :( so many tags have been lost liao... many ppl who tagged b4. hai. lost contact liao

4:32 p.m. - 2003-04-02

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sometimes it's gd to check with the authority. cannot make decisions without consulting the authorities. remember tt. or u'll get fired. notice tt in china (politics) when the boss doesnt say anything the subordinates are all waiting for further instructions.

3:23 p.m. - 2003-04-02

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b4 we noe it 1/8 of our jc life is gone... and i'm glad to say i thoroughly enjoyed it. let's hope i continue to do so... :)

11:01 p.m. - 2003-04-01

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read from a website:

- Bacteria hijack the cells cytoskeleton in their infectious process

- Scientists get even by using the bacteria to understand how actin works

10:55 p.m. - 2003-04-01

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decided it was high time to start a new page. it was getting too long... takes ages to load

and march was a highly eventful month. so make april even more eventful!!! but there wasnt much school in march was there... almost like june holidays...

5:44 p.m. - 2003-04-01

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