hongking's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - back in cambridge for now, but will be off in another 4 to 5 hours. to bath, and another castle in wales. hm, wish i had the luxury of resting in my room for a day or two. stupid passport! the trip was simply good, and vienna was great (nvr intended to visit it but perhaps i'll go again!). more details nxt time. 3:03 a.m. - 2006-12-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - excitingness, just to update ppl - i'm still in slovkia now even though my flight ticket says i should be on my way back to london. extending my trip to vienna instead to pay a visit to the singapore rep there. lost my passport!!! 11:14 p.m. - 2006-12-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - a very dense post. do i live for happiness / maximising experiences? what do i fear apart from loneliness? am i (always) selfish, and if so, do i believe that? going off to hungary, slovakia and won't be around for 2 weeks. goodness, december and it's 16 degrees. imagine feb/march. went to king's lynn yesterday and it was fun. 8:37 p.m. - 2006-12-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - as usual, i foresee myself shrinking over the holidays - i'm just so lazy that i cant even be bothered to go downstairs to eat. *shrugs* things have been good, i've been sufficiently happy. is tt what's important? *shrugs* but whether or not it's important, music really makes me happy. singing. christmas dinner, the choir just spontaneously broke out into song. whether it be improvised harmony, or with scores, it is just fantastic. 1:23 p.m. - 2006-12-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - one thing i've mentioned quite a few times this year: keep yourself healthy, treasure what you have. live life. think mr ho swee haw. 4:08 p.m. - 2006-11-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - we sang what sweeter music today! *in bliss* some more ppl were just sight-singing, and the sops reached awake the "voice" with zero problems! haha but it's v different from singing in rj. na na din na na din na na din tak. 7:47 p.m. - 2006-11-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - i swear i'm going mad. when my wireless mouse is low on battery, it has spontaneous firing, just like in neurons. it just clicks every few seconds. actually maybe not, it seems like my touchpad has a problem. or my hand. i'm hovering above the touchpad and it moves the cursor (!!!). too sensitive already. and haha it's so exciting i'm realising the usefulness of spontaneous mutations and even more so, knockout mice. cos my toilet cant flush, but yesterday the cistern was being filled with hot water. and then in the other toilet the cold water tap is not working. bcos of this mutation, we now know (or can deduce, correctly until proven otherwise) that the water supply to the tap in one toilet is linked to the toilet in the other. how very non-sensical. and that usually there is a bit of hot water contributing to the water in the cistern. if only i could do experiments on this (or if i had the time to do so, why not) 11:03 p.m. - 2006-11-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - today's remembrance sunday service was nice, + rowing was fantastic. and formal with the oh-so-heavenly chocolate souffle. now's time for work :D 9:14 p.m. - 2006-11-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - there was an unexpected chain of good news so i'm pretty happy, though most of it is tentative. double-decker buses (that I see/here every now and then here) nicely remind me of hong kong. i currently have an inexplicable interest in drawing parallels between computers and biological systems. like somehow i really really want to do some basic computer science. i ought to start work now. that's a good boy. 4:37 p.m. - 2006-11-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - i've gone totally out of control, i've nvr lacked self-discipline so much in my life before. save myself. i guess, what i really ought to do, is to do what i'm capable of (whatever that is), instead of pushing myself to the edge of the cliff and tell myself, look, i can still survive. but THIS is really quite extreme. somehow my brain associates this with the constant response approach (neurobio/psycho). 1:53 a.m. - 2006-11-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - it's 100% funny when you see hong king do his work at 2.57am. quotes (of me either talking to myself or other insane ppl awake at this hour. mostly myself though): "mum, stop distracting me. i'm really very excited about writing this essay. aren't you happy for me?" "so, why am i even writing all this. complicating matters for myself" "why on earth am i playing minesweeper again?" "the acceccessory molecules" to remind myself that it's spelt with a double c and double s. "f*** man this lecturer is so brief but he actually has most things in his notes." only problem is if you don't read a lot more you will have no idea what he's really talking about - whatever he writes down in 5 words could easily have filled 1 page (as previous lecturers might have done), but also easily escapes my attention "i'm starting to stop functioning" - 4:26am "hahahahaha" after realising that the content of the essay is found in one of the chapters after all, despite not appearing in the index/contents. i've been trying to read up on other related stuff instead. *faint* - 5.05am the heating starts again at 5.30am (and the birds dont chirp much, unlike in summer) "this talking to myself to stay awake is working" pretty impressive to note tt my mum can rmb tt she stayed at a yha hostel before. hahaha amazing. 2:56 a.m. - 2006-11-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - i need to rezero my panic-threshold. i'm starting to do the supervision-work-due-tomorrow now. it used to be saturday a few days ago. hahahha grrrr. rezero rezero! 10:34 p.m. - 2006-11-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- interesting fireworks this year was rather disappointing compared to last year (as far as i can remember), so i had to entertain myself by figuring out how we perceive the shape of the fireworks with gravitational/motion cues (or simply, knowledge that fireworks with simple designs have to be circular/spherical). I thought the pattern of the smoke was nicer than the bright sparks bcos they remained visible for slightly longer and they show the entire trajectory. (this is hong king typing). it was also interesting to see so many ppl all walking towards one destination. we must have looked like ants moving towards a food source from an aerial view. 9:08 p.m. - 2006-11-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - interest day! haha. it's so nice to be able to live a week entirely on interest per month. anw. i decided to blog bcos i just wanted to remind myself, to be happy with what i have when i have it, and not be sad only when i do not have it. bcos if we look at things that way, then how happy all of us must be! and most importantly, put in effort to maintain what we have. it all sounds vague but i'm not referring to anyth specific. inspired by the fact tt i actually have a v nice n warm room despite the temperature outside being 3 degrees. it was just 20 a few days ago! mm and most importantly, a healthy body. 10:33 p.m. - 2006-11-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - it's great to hear tt the hubble will be serviced. 6:12 p.m. - 2006-10-31 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - had a pretty pleasant bday, so tt was good. was really rather happy when we were singing. thanks to facebook i had quite a number of birthday wishes but i really appreciate those of you who remembered. i'm bcum more and more tacit on my blog but *shrugs* i really have nth much to say - mostly i save stuff for my personal diary if at all... 6:57 p.m. - 2006-10-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - here comes the cold. 6.4 degrees! yayness. and i'm a bit too cold sorry tired after singing for a night to think properly really but but but! i had a superb supervision today man. unbelievable. i discussed things with my supervisor. i challenged him, i explained some stuff to him. we have similar problems understanding certain things and he will clarify with the experts. i tried to explain the way i interpreted things. he doesnt do the usual ok i will tell u how to do ur essay. we dragged on for half an hour and i was still rattling on and on. and he was still listening and i was still listening and we were still talking and discussing. sorry verbal diarrhea. n u know it was just great bcos he is alright with me questioning him and my just saying i dont know when i dont and try to explain anyway. i got a bit worried towards the end just in case he might find the way i talk to him rude. he was alright with it. oh this is the first supervision i ever had in cambridge. the ones that are advertised anyway. the interactive ones where u get individualised attention. oh my god. supervision. muahahaha. but haha dont be too happy la in the future when it comes to his specialty then it won't be so much of a discussion any more, bcos he will know so much and it would in some ways have to be a case of him giving me some content/knowledge. inevitable. but oh my discussions. haha i'm mad. there've been discussions in other supervisions before actually, just not to this extent. not possible unless i'm really alone and i have all the time in the supervision to myself. cos so much of the time supervisions are spent on explaining stuff to the slowest person. and i guess usu they will say its not important for the exam so just accept it. or sth like that. but this prof he kinda sees where im coming from and he's not satisfied with explanation from lecturer either. also bcos i'm a bit more well prepared for this part of the course - that's necessary for any sort of slightly more in-depth discussion obviously. and also bcos psychology is more discussable thanks to its nature. what can i discuss with my maths supervisor (who basically seemed like someone who might have been better off teaching elementary maths for biologists). oh and i didnt finish my essay so i just went in and read out whatever i had written until then, after which i just verbally finished the remaining parts, at a much slower pace [and being honest i admitted "and there ends the written essay, the rest is from my essay plan"] muahahahhahahaha. 12:45 a.m. - 2006-10-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - i'm happy because: pharm supervision is really making me happy - everyone's pretty much at the same level, everyone's friendly. when it comes to essays *you don't technically have to write it you just have to discuss your essay plans - which is very useful because you see how other people think - tt's better than writing, handing it in, and getting it back, sometimes only with a small little mark on it. i mean it would be best if both could be done. :) but anw, pharm supervision is useful. path can be too, if i make use of it - if i actually pre-read, in other words. psycho one-to-one, i'm not too sure if they will work ok in the end, shall see, and request for one-to-three if it doesnt get anywhere. sth abt supervisions - i always happen to know random little facts which i mention at the right times to make me seem like i'm smarter/more hardworking than i actually am. hahahah. oh and i also realised tt i do random things on my computer like clicking around opening programs closing programs deleting files checking email checking for virus restoring and minimizing msn messenger etc. like i somehow get stuck in the cycle without really knowing it? worrying indeed. only realise it whenever i'm having a virus scan and the comp slows down so much tt i'm aware of my scarily repetitive actions. 3:00 p.m. - 2006-10-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - went for a concert tonight, realised tt i'm always rather critical (even though i don't have the right to, since i can't even perform anyth at concert-level) but i seem to expect the performers to be perfect. heh. i really like the parts when the music gets soft/calm yet remains intense... tt was what i enjoyed most tonight anw, before i eventually fell asleep during the last piece (chopin) and started having funny short dreams with weird links between things. like i was looking at the piano and i thought of white rice (uncooked). hm, the way different perspectives can make the same thing so different amazes me. 10:14 p.m. - 2006-10-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - i must say i'm pretty happy with my subjects this year - supervisions are only so-so, but it's also up to me to do sth abt them i guess. only thing is, i need to be doing work. i need to be pushing the work along, not letting the work drag me along. i'm v v easily distracted, just as i've always been. but heh, focus focus. and sleep is important too! 4:13 p.m. - 2006-10-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - 1.5 wks past, 6.5 more to go. up to me. 7:21 a.m. - 2006-10-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - nothing more bizarre could happen. japan declared war on hong kong when i was in some boat in the harbour. and then i was busily hiding away all my lecture notes and textbooks in the hope that they will not know that i am a scientist and force me to develop weapons - i apparently purposely left all the biological notes on the top so tt they'd think i cant develop nuclear weapons. hmmmm what about biological warfare? heh what a dream man. 6:28 a.m. - 2006-10-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - i declare tt i do too many things without knowing why/that i did it. tend to delete stuff on the computer either when i'm on the phone and just clicking here pressing there or when i'm sleepy. haha. and throwing away pieces of paper containing ultra important information like where, when, who's of my pathology supervision. 10:25 a.m. - 2006-10-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sustainability i'm pretty tired indeed - better make sure i do sth to make it sustainable man. ok la actually not too bad *go go go!* 10:02 p.m. - 2006-10-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - i'm in general pretty happy with the 1st few hours in cambridge (few meaning sth like 30 actually), but i must make a note tt on the flights back to London, it hit me that this was it, it was going to be another year. it nvr occurred to me back in sg, tt it was really such a short period of time at home, until the cycle finally repeats itself and i leave for cambridge again. it was a short time tt i felt tt for though, and the moment i landed in gatwick and saw the written-in-a-certain-font,is-it-arial-or-what signs, it felt so familiar tt everyth was back to normal. england is really similar to hong kong and singapore in certain ways, or rather, the other way round. i'm pleased now, bcos it was great to plunge right into work - helping freshers settle in, and unpacking. then my room is much nicer than i had imagined it to be. and hm yar the lighting's good. and the rooms are like rooms in an apartment. a bit like a home. ok, time to go off soon for jazz&cocktail. standing at the backdoor, as a fire warden possibly? how v exciting! 9:40 p.m. - 2006-09-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - i might really end up with a mental illness some time in my life, so heh, better take care of myself. not just the nervous system but the entire body :) anyhow went cycling with weili and it was a gd time. to naval base and back again. and yesterday 8 braddell rd with candice, random as usual. and the day before sang at NUS. and then before tt in bangkok, with parents. quality time spent makes me happy. 5:26 p.m. - 2006-09-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - i'm starting to feel it. i dun want to leave. i didnt actually expect this, but really, it's too transient. 1 month, not even enough to do much - esp since i've been using it to slack. i want to spend quality time with the ppl i want to spend it with. i want to be able to meet my singaporean friends face to face, chat on a regular basis. but it's not v possible. and fact is it's gonna be another year before i get any chance of actual interactions with them again - and by then, who knows, 1000 things change. and who knows, perhaps just like this time, i wun't get to catch up with many ppl. believe it or not i also promise tt i will keep in contact with my parents a bit more. perhaps at least once a week. *shrugs* i was pretty excited abt getting back to cambridge really just a while ago but now i'm already starting to dread it, beginning with the 24-hour journey (inclusive of transit @ dubai + coach from gatwick) and the work tt follows immediately after i reach cam. and the uncertainty and the feeling of being overwhelmed before i even start anyth. now bzily trying to pack, trying to do things tt i really ought to have done a long time ago, dreading tt feeling tt it will happen all over again for this new year despite having overcome procrastination for a while after coming back from china. not a gd way to start eh. so much for telling clar not to procrastinate b4 she left. need to tell myself. be in control, not let things occupy me one by one as they come. 12:11 a.m. - 2006-09-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - hm, i cant sleep. wah tt was really late, and hm insomnia is not fun at all. but i guess i feel asleep after tt... 5:35 a.m. - 2006-09-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - it seems my mum reads my blog, or read (past tense) my blog. whatever it is it felt a bit scary at first bcos the me i show to her/family is different from the me here or elsewhere. but well if it's an avenue to compensate for the lack of communication btwn us, then y not? bangkok was good, and as i was explaining in a chat, not bcos "oh it was such a great time with my parents oh-i-feel-so-loved kinda thing", bcos obviously i'm not a miss-my-parents-even-though-i've-been-away-for-a-year kinda boy. it's gd bcos i'm glad the trip happened, tt i had a continuous stretch of 5-days-24-hours-per-day interactions with them, and since when can i have tt at home? maybe half the time i'm in front of my computer, claiming to do v important things such as check my email and catch up with friends. family nvr is a priority for me in tt sense perhaps bcos i really take my parents for granted - they will still be my parents and i can get close with them whenever i want to. friendships can disappear totally if u dun (and even if u do) attempt to maintain them. ought to change the way i think abt this. whatever it is, the 5 days were enjoyable and i think my parents thought so too. great stuff. and u know, i cant believe i'm leaving singapore so so soon. 2:33 a.m. - 2006-09-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - forbidden city was so-so, not v fulfilling. anw, sad to leave sg desk. while i didnt actually do tt much there, it was still an experience. glad i did it. bangkok tml, and by the time i'm back i'll b packing. realized i din meet too many friends this time actually. 1:20 a.m. - 2006-09-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - a whole list of random things: i can sing low low C# this morning. as opposed to F/G usually. ministry of sound is nth great (and confused a certain mr-journalist-from-india-who-was-v-kiasu-and-took-thousands-of-publications-bcos-they-were-free into thinking tt it was a real ministry). wasnt there to club obviously. mm talked to 3 journalists, one from s africa, one from sydney morning herald, one from australian financial review. interesting stuff. press freedom? political freedom? demonstrations? and research? maybe when i retire. and hm. sometimes, when u have student volunteers, do they end up spending more time and effort trying to figure out what they should make us do? i met ms clare wee downstairs last night. sec 1 geog teacher whom i've nvr seen since then. now at sg sports sch. 11:15 a.m. - 2006-09-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - the kingdom of tonga (whose king just passed away, and which is also the latest member admitted to the WTO) is in the timezone UTC +13. bizarre facts just like those which prof howard griffiths provides in his plant lectures, whose course I'm considering. 11:46 a.m. - 2006-09-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - very interesting things i read abt road junctions this morning: 11:46 a.m. - 2006-09-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - i dont understand y, when i'm at home, i make it so clear what is whose responsibility. there's sth wrong with me. i'm pretty gullible a person too i realise, v v willing to believe what ppl tell me, and end up empathising with whoever it is until i hear another person's point of view. hmm. 12:37 a.m. - 2006-09-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - quote of the day from my aunt: 12:02 a.m. - 2006-09-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - there are quite a number of ppl whom i havent seen in a long while, like this family friend of ours tt we met for dinner tonight. one daughter psle this year, one son p4. time flies really, and the last i rmb them they were really small kids, and i somehow still rmb the parents as a couple without kids. interesting thing is these family friends (there are quite a number in hong kong as well) frequently did not have children when i was young, and thus kinda treated me like their kid, and i always kinda feel like i ought to meet them now tt i've grown up. *shrugs* i must have 2 children, to be an only child isnt v fun at all... :) 12:12 a.m. - 2006-09-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - i find tt the older generation (with my parents, relatives in hk as examples) tend to believe that they do not know how to operate electronic devices, when in fact there are some basic principles behind user interfaces for some of them that are not hard to learn, esp the small ones e.g. mp3 players, watches, etc. usu for such small devices there is limited space and thus buttons, and so apart from the simple press-and-release functions, there's always the combination-of-a-few-buttons or the press-and-hold functions. similarly for computers, i opt to teach my mum the basic principles and let her try instead of giving her fixed instructions. yet nowadays with the threat of all sorts of malicious softare coming through spam (!!!! grrr) my parents are unfortunately becoming scared. one must be able to discern whether instructions are genuine or not (e.g. phishing scams) and i guess the only solution is to raise awareness... 8:54 p.m. - 2006-09-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - went to bishan. RJ first, no teachers. RI, met most teachers. even managed to find mr johari. going back to schools feels rather different now. no more juniors who know me, no more of the place where i had fun/classes/ccas in - even RI is being torn down bit by bit haha. and so what remain are the teachers, who are also disappearing one by one... oh how embarassing: mrs d cruz (sec 4 english teacher) talking to 2 other teachers of mine - "of course I remember him, his english was very bad! let me try and remember his name..." luckily the other teachers dont remember me for being bad at their subjects. lol. am trying to sort out all the rubbish i've accumulated in my room (i've like 2 rooms in each house, but now they've finally all been consolidated into 1 room) and i'm throwing things away with nostalgia. things like jap speech contest 2002, all my fantastically written notes from RI, etc. i cant figure out whether or not i want to want to hang on to these things, or perhaps i should learn to just let go of them bcos they're in the past. cos otherwise as my mum says when i'm 90 (if i ever bcum 90) i'll not be able to walk around my house. and i realized how hardworking i once was for sec 4 prelims, for o lvl english / his/ss. totally ashamed of myself for not having done so recently and always telling myself tt i havent done my best; tt's y i get xxx results. :( 12:34 a.m. - 2006-08-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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