hongking's Diaryland Diary



went to bishan. RJ first, no teachers. RI, met most teachers. even managed to find mr johari.

going back to schools feels rather different now. no more juniors who know me, no more of the place where i had fun/classes/ccas in - even RI is being torn down bit by bit haha. and so what remain are the teachers, who are also disappearing one by one... oh how embarassing: mrs d cruz (sec 4 english teacher) talking to 2 other teachers of mine - "of course I remember him, his english was very bad! let me try and remember his name..." luckily the other teachers dont remember me for being bad at their subjects. lol.

am trying to sort out all the rubbish i've accumulated in my room (i've like 2 rooms in each house, but now they've finally all been consolidated into 1 room) and i'm throwing things away with nostalgia. things like jap speech contest 2002, all my fantastically written notes from RI, etc. i cant figure out whether or not i want to want to hang on to these things, or perhaps i should learn to just let go of them bcos they're in the past. cos otherwise as my mum says when i'm 90 (if i ever bcum 90) i'll not be able to walk around my house.

and i realized how hardworking i once was for sec 4 prelims, for o lvl english / his/ss. totally ashamed of myself for not having done so recently and always telling myself tt i havent done my best; tt's y i get xxx results. :(

12:34 a.m. - 2006-08-29



am i introverted?

anw, i had the weirdest dream ever. kofi annan was the conductor for an orchestra!?!

12:11 a.m. - 2006-08-27



meeting up with ppl is still different from talking online, and gives me a reassurance somewhat tt the friendship is going to be stable. it feels great. (not talking abt any particular friend, just in general)

11:48 p.m. - 2006-08-24



it's scary how things get back to normal so so quickly. just 2 days back, i had a crash course in singlish when i went to malaysia with my dad's company to a durian plantation. and yesterday, rv alumni stuff, then dinner at raffles city. and then suddenly it seems like the 11 months tt i spent outside singapore didnt happen at all. strange but true.

somehow i feel like i'd rather tt some things feel like they've changed.

11:44 p.m. - 2006-08-21


not so sunny

i'm back in not-so-sunny singapore. and it feels weird cos my parents just moved all our stuff back to cashew. and so now i'm in bkt panjang, and it doesn't feel that much like home. it feels like i'm going to leave this place in a week or so, just like how i left beijing after a few days and hong kong after a week. mm.

in contrast, hk was a great place to be in, bcos there were so many relatives to meet, and so many relatives to meet. friends and family. just different. and jen and i decided we must be nice to our parents. we will see.

i actually look forward to going back to cambridge!! *jumps around*

it's actually been a decent day in singapore though, i was lucky to be able to meet up with so many RV alumni. :)

11:40 p.m. - 2006-08-20



happy national day.

anw, today was really fun. great food, and a pagoda that was really nice to climb. good food tends to make me happy nowadays...

3:56 p.m. - 2006-08-09



grrr. my webmail is constantly blocked approximately 5 min after i access it each time. grrrr.

oh, i'm in xuxu's hse!

7:44 a.m. - 2006-08-08



the ocep camp has finally ended and i will be going off to look for xuxu! great stuff

4:49 p.m. - 2006-08-06



almost halfway through 2nd camp. nth much exciting really, but things are running more smoothly which is a pleasant thing.

6:58 p.m. - 2006-07-29



hmmm i'm still alive but i've no idea how the rest of the world is doing (rmb blogspot isnt accessible in china. i havent been reading news either...) email me (your blog entries) to let me know how ppl are!

10:25 a.m. - 2003-07-17



i'm still alive and i'm in shanghai but i'm running out of internet time!!

9:52 p.m. - 2006-07-04



i'm so prepared for my china trip i cant believe it.
1. i dont have any RMB with me
2. i have no idea where i'm going
3. i only have a mouth that can speak mandarin and some phone numbers that might be useful.
4. i dont know my coach time bcos i threw away my ticket at stansted. my backup on hermes webmail disappeared, and my only chance is the copy on my laptop, which is in singapore.

fun fun fun!

10:59 p.m. - 2006-07-01



germany's been a great place to be in, but not so much bcos of the place itself, but bcos of the ppl i'm meeting, and i'm glad i have this chance to be here.

while i get more and more pleased with myself whenever i seem to have done some things right (optimistic way of looking at things to keep myself happy) i also need to remind myself of how many things i haven't done right haha. or simply things tt i'm lousy at. heh

hm, am actually rather tired.

1:36 a.m. - 2006-06-29



its been such a long weekend, with me missing my flight to germany (but i've finally arrived!!!)

it sure seems like a nice place here and i'm just going to forget about all work and enjoy myself!

12:59 a.m. - 2006-06-26



oh yes and there was working for the may balls. set up for st john's was quite quite shiok. 1. got to see how large-scale the event was, and be part of the entire team's efforts - ppl are generally quite willing to work, which makes the entire team morale better. 2. got to do some physical work - interestingly i instinctively twisted my hip (aiya dunno how to describe) to get more strength when moving heavy stuff. 3. towards the end i was just a bit mad and just pushing myself to do things, more, faster, better, etc. pretty gd feeling.

then today's sidney clean up was much less work, so tt was easy money. was interesting to see another may ball nonetheless. no torture, no fun. *shrugs*

8:47 p.m. - 2006-06-22



and so i was in london again, this time without any problems. what a pleasant trip :D

made the most out of my travelcard and took public transport a grand total of 12 times. just took whichever bus came and ended up at unexpected places, such as:
the greenwich meridien (royal observatory - unfortunately it was closed by the time i reached, but it is on top of a nice hill so the view was good), the greenwich foot tunnel under the Thames (lift was being fixed so cyclists had to walk up probably 100? steps with their bikes - all of them are very fit huh), the exciting dockland rail line (roller-coaster like as it enters Bank station, the trains are just so powerful), the Thames flood barrier (meant to visit the city airport but saw it on the way). met ian (staircase mate) unexpectedly on the train too.

tried to get into westminster abbey without paying but decided that i didnt know how to pray and didnt want to bluff. maybe next time when it's evensong i'll go in la :D. did a little bit of british museum (money section) and national gallery (1500s and beyond) - i'm so happy i can do this because i can always go back again - there's absolutely no museum fatigue. then back at night (8.50pm) in brit museum for the michelangelo drawing exhibition - felt very refreshing bcos 1. first time going into museum at night 2. first time seeing michelangelo's drawings, though i thought it might be a bit over-rated if you're not a huge fan of michelangelo. was interesting nonetheless.

i was just generally so happy tt i was smiling from inside. a v relaxing day. and thinking abt how choosing cambridge over any london uni was probably a good choice for me. i like cambridge (the place). and the ppl are decent as well :)

check out the new photos, mostly of london.

ah yes, and regarding the colour disc (not wearing specs) post some time back, it occurred to me at the national gallery that i just find it aesthetically pleasing. i love pointillism (invented by george seurat). however i'd also agree with chang mou tt seeing things in a blur as opposed to seeing them clearly delineated is also rather nice.

12:52 a.m. - 2006-06-22



exams were over v quickly, and thus began a new period of insanity. to london and kew gardens/natural history museum/les mis! to the chinese embassy three times (and at least one more time), and knowing the ppl there. irregular sleep hours (say from 2 to 6), manual work. (and more manual work to come) spending money like it's not mine (32 quid for a train ticket! 20 quid worth of hp talktime! and so on). and garden parties. and just a general state of fatigue. and soon enough, a lonely stage, before china comes. it will come v quickly, but it will pass equally quickly, i believe. so just treasure things / time. *shrugs*

i am tired but i like life now. as usual, i still do not like going for parties and stuff, but am perhaps learning to be more comfortable with them - it does seem like sth tt "comes with practice" for me. i cant imagine if i were totally non-busy now - everyone is going to watch movies, may balls, etc, and i will be at home dreaming.

oh but did i say, i'm now possibly going for catz may ball :D i dun actually think i'd enjoy it v much, but perhaps i wuldnt have enjoyed it v much either if i were the only one in my staircase who dint go. so it might be the lesser of the two evils, with a price tag of 60 quid. but haha it's now in me not to care so much about money. (amazing)

10:43 p.m. - 2006-06-17



i wanted to say this a few days back, but thought i'll just think a bit more about it so that it isnt a rash comment.

exams have ended, but to be honest, what i hope to be my cambridge experience has barely begun. like i've said b4, i've not been particularly unhappy, but i was/am not really happy here. perhaps i just din think so much back in jc, bcos there was less of a choice - even if there was a choice, the difference is less drastic. but coming here was a choice, a choice that was not very informed.

looking back, i can say it's a mistake to come here to study the sciences. it seemed like a good choice, because it gave me the option of doing various subjects, and allows me to decide on my major only much later - i had no clue what i wanted to specialise in initially, or perhaps even now. but the point is, i've wasted an entire year not learning much.

not learning much, u ask? why did i have to study so many nights before the exam, why did i not do other things then? there is actually a lot of content to be covered - i do know quite a bit more than before, esp for physiology. so i did add knowledge to my brain, though perhaps only really for physiology, because it's a totally new subject. ppl doing evo&behaviour, geology, materials, etc probably learnt a lot of new material as well, but i unfortunately didnt for chemistry/qb/cells.

i'm not happy, because the system isn't delivering what it is promising. supervisions may indeed mean individual attention, but individual attention for the weakest. so you say, ok, read up yourself then. sure, read up myself, but it's just different when it's my own leisure reading compared to if it is the core thing being taught. and it's not like there's no work to do usually.

and how am i to know that the A level syllabus here is supposedly (i say supposedly because i still havent seen how it is like) so much easier that almost all the Singaporean NatScis can beat them easily - i dont believe that we're really tt much smarter, even though we're supposedly scholars - it's just that we simply have been prepared well by our edu system back home. (having said that if i don't do well in my exams, then shame on me bcos it's due to last-minute-as-usual revision)

and to add to all that, i've been told time and again by professors, well this is how the natural sciences tripos works, don't come if you want a more difficult first year. and how my director of studies tells me, he's afraid things might continue this way for another year, until your third year. my heart sinks whenever i hear sth like tt.

it is most unfortunate that i've to feel this way, but it is also v surprising that nobody else seems to (or has made it known that he/she) feel(s) this way. perhaps i could have made better use of this year, but at least now i know i must make better use of next year, somehow.

and can i please qualify myself - to be fair to the nat(ural) sci(ences) course, it probably is very good for the british, considering their A lvls. and to me, there has been bits and pieces of good stuff (e.g. lab sessions) throughout the year as well, it's just that overall it hasn't been fantastic for me (and i believe any Singaporean).

all my disillusionment abt the cambridge nat sci first year aside, i want to ask, what is the point of going overseas to study? i think ppl tend to conveniently interact with ppl from their own countries, esp in cambridge. there are just so many singaporeans in the uk. yes ppl do interact with the locals, but to what extent? very much beyond the hi's and byes? i am happy for those who have managed to develop good friendships with them, but i am sad to say i havent. and i want to, and perhaps, in the new year, at any expense. *shrugs*

this entire entry sounds relatively depressing and sad but actually i really havent been unhappy here. just leading a very normal life, with some of my expectations not met.

i'm going on the 5.25am coach later so oops i'd better sleep.

1:43 a.m. - 2006-06-14



woohoo. i've just gotten my internet access back (the whole college was disconnected for the weekend). yay!!!! tt was torture, honestly.

8:34 a.m. - 2006-06-12



haha i better work on expanding my answers for chem: supervision reports from beginning of year:

"However, this was rarely due to lack of knowledge or comprehension, just a tendency for brevity." - organic course
"Likes the challenge of an intensive learning process, but should take care that his answers are sufficiently detailed and give argued reasoning and justification. " - inorganic course
"Written work generally extremely accurate, but terse to an excessive degree." - physical course

haha and then i rmb how short my answers were back in rj. come out from maths exam. "eh, how many pieces of paper did u use?" "errr 4?" "haha i used 3 times of that".

heyyyyy surely it's better than being long winded...! grrr

5:32 p.m. - 2006-06-09



one thing i nvr fail to enjoy, is to see the world without my glasses, where things (sources of light in general) get resolved into circular light discs. i just find them v v pretty, and i think it's sth tt (un)fortunate ppl with perfect eyesight seldom see. i dunno, does it work if u make them wear glasses meant for ppl who are long-sighted? heh

5:04 p.m. - 2006-06-08



jialat. and i thought i was bcuming less blur. would have gone to the examination hall tml if i were not distracted when studying tonight - found out on msn tt the exam wasnt tml after all *shrugs*.

12:45 a.m. - 2006-06-08



it turns out tt the first day of exams is finally coming, and haha, i'm still reading the news (i told myself not to abt i think 3 weeks ago?)

i think next year (so fast thinking of next year!!! think of next paper la!) i might actually be even less last minute (i feel this is an improvement over previous years, no matter how slight), bcos i see the advantage in having more time to work. disincentives wont force me to get rid of a bad habit, but an incentive probably would. :)

actually i have a theory. it's not tt i'm not last minute. i have 2 subjects completely untouched. it's just tt i'm not really stressed. for some reason. muahahaha :) there arent really any consequences i guess.

and actually, if exams weren't about how you can't answer some questions, but about how you can try to answer questions which are impossibly hard to everyone anyway, then there's no stress?

12:25 a.m. - 2006-06-04



i suddenly realized why i wasnt impressed by venice when i first went through the touristy area - when i went to amsterdam, the canals there were equally nice. so there wasnt a wow factor any more. though venice is still a nice place, and i think i will go again some time. i love going to places more than once.

7:35 p.m. - 2006-06-02



haha it's quite funny
i was reading this on the bbc's website - bans under the drought order:
Filling privately-owned swimming pools other than for medical treatment
was also reading abt lai4 chang1 xing1. interesting story, check it out on google / zaobao / wherever.

12:31 p.m. - 2006-06-01



i must be one of the most brilliant ppl on earth. just realised how to get "polarised" light without actually having to buy 3M products. i.e. no more glare! just shine ur study lamp in the direction tt ur eyes are looking (shine it away from you). no problems at all. muahaha. perfect. hehehee. ok. mad.

1:05 a.m. - 2006-05-31



is it just my microsoft word, or is microsoft stupid. they keep autocorrecting my ethene to ethane! grrrr.

3:40 p.m. - 2006-05-30



i fell asleep this morning with the sky almost bright and birds already starting to sing.

then now, a thunderstorm is brewing and i'm hearing thunder for the first time in 9 months yet haha it sounds so pathetic in comparison to what i'm used to :D

1:34 p.m. - 2006-05-29



sometimes i look at my own notes and i find it quite funny

many K+ channels (significance? Just rmb for mcq lol)
and some others as well. perhaps nobody finds it funny but heck who cares, it lets me have a gd laugh :)

and :) boeing's now gonna have her own version of airbus' beluga (click here) as well as a 450-seat version of the A380 tt hopefully will keep boeing competitive. i'm surprised i din learn abt the 748 when it was launched last year hm. somehow, i am hoping tt boeing can outcompete airbus, but i dunno why haha.

a rather tragic 747-747 collision: click here

also: how winglets can reduce drag click hereor here

i guess i will be the only person reading all the links above :(

11:16 p.m. - 2006-05-27



i just spent my first awake-hour today looking at prices in singapore. not actually tt cheap. and it isnt really that expensive here. i used to spend much more in singapore - almost 85 pounds per month. i'm only spending sth like 100 odd pounds nowadays, and that is including all meals and all snacks and all expenses. i only had to eat lunch most of the time in sg!!!

oops. wasted so much of my parents' money. bad bad boy.

12:08 p.m. - 2006-05-25



was just thinking during the last geology lecture ever, abt how transient our lives are on a geological timescale. we're so small.

as i read abt wen jia bao again, it made me realise sth. recall tt he said sth abt wanting to go into a starbucks restaurant when he was in the US (at microsoft i think), and now on meeting dr merkel in china, he says he wants to stay up to watch the world cup. why is the media (straits times i guess where i get my news from) reporting such small comments?

then i realised that they are actually quoted from the chinese media. chinese propaganda haha. looks like it will take some time b4 china can be more similar to other countries (or will she ever be?)

2:38 p.m. - 2006-05-24



imagine my joy when i read abt how they might allow the construction of PRT in Singapore. hohoho. i was just reading abt it the other day, and i was thinking if only we could have it in sg as well, but oh well this kinda thing nvr makes it to sg. and believe it or not, the guy has been thinking abt it for 5 years: he has even patented a right-angle turning technique esp useful for sg.

haha. i just love transport. *shrugs*

and was also reading abt "SOUTH-TO-NORTH WATER DIVERSION PROJECT" (just google it). rather exciting, but 1. the number of historical stuff tt will be submerged (the media probably exaggerates it, but still...), 2. the way geological processes will be affected due to diversion / halting of water flow (including 3 gorges) makes me wonder whether the benefits are sufficient and whether the long term effects are considered fully. e.g. look at the 3 gorges and how its max power WAS impressive but is now going to be a small fraction of total electricity consumption in china.

anw. so. how hong konger am i, and how hong konger can i make myself? i'll be a singaporean no matter what, but i think eventually i want to be both. perhaps i should have gone back a bit more often and for a bit longer when i was younger, but it's nvr too late i guess. :)

12:21 a.m. - 2006-05-22



haha. titration. it's actually quite fun. and i purposely chose the red pipette filler. and i felt like going for geog soc after tt. lol.

hm. i dun actually miss home, but i feel like missing home. i want to go to the old chem labs and burn my hand. i want to go to the comp lab for gp. i want to go to the photocopying room to collect (and sort) notes. i want to go to the staff room and walk around, and deposit my handphone in alfie's drawer. i want to go into lt1 and feel tt it's so cold in there, esp on a rainy day. the stinky 2-10 room we had for a while. the ts-es. o n lt3 syf practices, lt4. my locker in lt2.5 which toppled every now and then. it was happy and carefree :) somehow nth really mattered, not even results (or homework haha). but i guess i just dun rmb the less-than-happy things, but tt's good. i want my 3f and all the nice ppl, i want the choir and the tenors to sing with.

i want *guess what* my parents. i really have not not seen them for so long in my life before. it seems like yesterday that i last saw them, but it's not tomorrow that i can see them again. it will be in august. and even so, only for a month. the yesterday never fades, yet the tomorrow never comes either. things are just frozen in time. i think i'm still expecting to go back to a similar life when i get back - but i guess it wunt happen. how does this all work? how to convince myself tt this is a continuation of tt life and not a separate one? this is still an extended holiday for me, believe it or not.

if ever i want to be home, it's for the simple reason of knowing that i am at home. not for the food, not for the weather, not for anyth. just to know that it is home. the government would love me if they hear me say this.

anyhow, back to my holiday.

10:52 p.m. - 2006-05-19



dung-dang-dung, dang dung. impressions! I MUST sing it. plsplspls! oh god.

11:53 p.m. - 2006-05-15



changing back to an old template naturally made me look back at things slightly - and i realized my tooth filling has dropped out for 6 months now (no signs of decay yet, phew)

i realized i took a gd one month or more to settle in here (while being absolutely blur all the time, carrying over from what was happening in the army), and i can sense the "ideals" i had in my entries - to get to know the culture, to make full use of time here, etc.

the next phase (end michaelmas/ 3/4 of lent) then was when lectures/supervisions started getting really boring (either a lvl stuff or i just don't feel stimulated enough), when other things obviously werent working as i hoped, when i started retreating, when i gave up on trying to do things actively and started fearing tt i wasnt making use of the "overseas experience". when life was all abt hw and dragging until the last minute before doing it. when basically i didnt even try to cope and just decided to leave things to the holidays, and of cos i dun ever achieve what i'm supposed to (academically) over the holidays. i wasn't unhappy, but i wasn't particularly happy either - but i didnt really know it. this retreat phase is probably also associated with getting to know the singaporeans better, considering how long it is.

and i actually keep track of the number of non-academic things i go for, and the trend mirrors these two phases reasonably well. (it seems that i was stuck in my room throughout lent)

and there came a crisis phase. and some problems in interpersonal relationships. (talking abt interpersonal relationships, as usual there was the constant background oscillations of me liking ppl / suspecting tt ppl like me.) i failed to be elected as treasurer of cumsa (one of the few times when i know i wanted sth but i couldnt get it). then started wondering why the **** i was in cambridge, why i should even study, and a series of "why"s that led to "what"s for the future, currently left unresolved. but at least, i've thought about them.

and then the trip to italy, when i first noticed that my temper has gotten worse (not tt it's v bad, but i wasnt just nice me any more). and just like any other holiday, i started thinking abt how things could be done better in the remaining hols / new term but din manage to implement any plans in the end [supporting evidence: the usual last minute studying (and time wasting before that, since total time is constant), the mock exam once again confirming tt i can score without much studying and therefore any remaining motivation i had just disappeared.]

and yet another new phase. some developments in interpersonal relationships (sounds so vague doesnt it but it really is just a dynamic process overall isnt it). i started stopping to do work altogether but instead started to think of reasonable excuses to tell my supervisors (which they do accept). Kinda getting in control of my own life, or so i hope. Things as simple as being focused, learning that it's not impossible to cope with lectures AND do revision at the same time.

perhaps a bit more time needs to pass before i can confirm that the phase mentioned in the last paragraph has indeed arrived, though i'm slightly apprehensive at the same time. it is, after all, sth tt has nvr happened to me b4, and it feels hollow inside with no experience, and no support. *shrugs*

thinking abt home: frankly i havent been feeling v homesick - probably much less than other ppl, considering tt i dun actually webcam (at all) or msn on a regular basis. v expected of me, yet when i look ahead and realize i wunt be home till mid august, it is indeed a long time and i will treasure my time back in singapore.

*i guess i'm really rather simple a person: the common themes manifests itself in whatever i do.
1. when travelling, i will go to a place and keep taking different routes, and be happy with myself for knowing the place. when studying, i can't stand pure mugging, i have to understand (esp the mathematical stuff) and derive and link concepts together.
2. to be minimalistic. (indeed)
3. to extrapolate concepts. i just get so excited abt applying similar concepts to different situations, abt the 4th dimension and beyond, abt a tv showing a tv showing (a tv showing)^n, and somewhat related: abt nvr-ending patterns that are just overwhelming. i must sound mad.
4. to push things to the limits.

*a random thought: the thought of running a course for the Masters of Crime / how exciting being a robber must be, has occurred to me independently at least thrice. haha. mm. natural instincts?

4:09 p.m. - 2006-05-11



a temporary restoration to my old template of oct 04 - just b4 A's. u c andy, bao rong, xiaohui, weili, honlyn, yingheng in our SARS peirce reservoir hike. :)

3:13 p.m. - 2006-05-11



quoted from here

They came up with an Ro of 2-4. In itself that result told them a lot. It indicated that SARS was not the most infectious disease ever seen, since measles has an R0 of about 15 and tuberculosis an R0 of about 10. But it was in the same league as smallpox, and the Ro told them that in the absence of appropriate interventions, SARS would infect millions of people within six months. On the other hand, because the R0 was sufficiently close to 1, by taking the proper steps, it should be possible to reduce the reproductive number below that limit, and the epidemic would be controlled. In fact, when modeling possible interventions, they determined that the most effective means of blocking transmission would be to isolate infected individuals and quarantine people likely to be exposed.

10:24 p.m. - 2006-05-09



it's quite scary really, the ppl ard me are all working terrribly hard, and i am, not surprisingly, still here - the thing is it's not that i'm last minute, they're really early!

9:10 p.m. - 2006-05-09



woke up at an unearthly hour (before sunrise. goodness how early is that - 4am) to go hear the birds sing. pretty cool. though the part i liked best wasnt the birds, but was the bats flying above the river. their kinda ephemeral existence. cos they are black, and under the dim light, u just cant see them at certain angles. and cos obviously i couldnt quite be v awake having gone to sleep at 1am. *still yawning* so it just had this magical effect on me.

5:06 p.m. - 2006-05-06




4:13 p.m. - 2006-05-04



it's really interesting how we associate smells with food. i cooked spare ribs with mushroom today, and i let jen take a whiff of it. she thought it smelled like marrow. heh. cos usu this dish IS cooked with marrows, though there's no way i can find them here in the uk, for some reason. or can i?

7:21 p.m. - 2006-05-03



today was, overall, a good day. a fresh start - esp supervisions - chemistry was just so good (dragged to almost 1.75 hrs instead of the usual 1) with new supervision partners as well for a change. and did sufficiently well in mocks. just overall good mood, really.

12:22 a.m. - 2006-05-02



haha i spent a happy day after my mock (physio). quite anyway. :D watching amelie.

if only everything was so sweetly memorable...

and who cares if it's 3.05am? time is a continuum. do what i like when i like. i dont have CO so it doesnt have to be stabilized by Pfr. the melanopsin in my retina passes signals to the suprachiasmatic nucleus which finally reaches my parietal gland which secretes melatonin *breathes*.

ok, i'm happy. lol

2:54 a.m. - 2006-04-26



after calling felix (whom i havent been in contact with for 6 years now, and who's currently at duke - i'm so glad to hear he did well), i started thinking back to the pri sch days. hahaha. i was quite an unpopular kid then eh. always helping teachers to carry exercise books to the staff room, always finishing the math workbook early (and doing the next lesson's stuff) and making noise (did i do that? cant remember). and i apparently made a racist remark and got sent to the vice principal's office (eh to be fair all i did was comment on either gopal or ali in the pets coursebook).

i just want to know what happened to ppl. where they are now, what they have been doing, etc.

thing is, if everyone is in singapore it's a bit harder to figure that out. for the case of felix, my mum found his mum so i managed to get in touch with him. but i might just have found him somehow anw (william, psc, knows him). that would have been way more exciting a way of refinding an old friend, but heck, i'm happy tt we're in contact again.

justin cheong! if u ever read this, haha, we must must meet up some day, and yeah just catch up a bit.

12:55 a.m. - 2006-04-24



mm. there are 3 hong kings near the exam period.

1. the one who wants to work so that he doesnt need to be so last minute

2. the one who wants to just keep pushing the limit to see just how little time is needed

3. the one who is confident that he will do alright even if the prep isn't the best possible

ah now that i work it out, i understand why 1 never wins. 2 and 3 are always in an alliance.

7:55 p.m. - 2006-04-23



tonight's dinner was simple but good, bcos it reminds me of home somewhat. heh. wheeeee!

mm and the temperature is 6 degrees outside, i've had no heating for 2 days, and i'm wearing short-sleeves (my good old calvin n hobbes). amazing

8:12 p.m. - 2006-04-22



reading abt brasilia and its being an example of urban planning (it's designed in the shape of a bird/plane) just fascinates me. more than the discovery of the reversibility of mitosis exit (Nature 440, 954-958) check out the videos they're cool. (-courtesy of yifan)

12:42 a.m. - 2006-04-22



there was a bbq and i smell like it now but it was fun! esp the red glow of the charcoal and the wonderful sparks that sprinkle out so beautifully.

haha. don't think i talked to anybody though. bcuming rather anti-social. or have i always been like that??

10:49 p.m. - 2006-04-21



"singaporean fried vermicelli"? much as singaporeans might find it puzzling/funny/unrepresentative of singaporean food, other ppl have experienced similar situations too!

read this article, especially the bottom.

i wonder, how would "singaporean fried vermicelli" be received in singapore?

8:45 p.m. - 2006-04-20



haha i'm a sad person

i was playing frogger (as in the really old one) and puzzle bubble

and i was very happy.

simple games, but they are games anw. why bother with the graphics?

3:14 p.m. - 2006-04-20



suddenly blogging a lot yes.

i need to stop thinking when i'm studying. otherwise i'll nver finish. i keep getting stuck at the maths / logic behind stuff. it's all good and fun but hello i am supposed to be mugging for exams, not exploring ideas eh. everything muddled up!!! grr. i get excited and start trying to figure things out. but half the time i only have half-truths, and things are much more complicated.

eh shit. puh-lease! save myself. just settle for simplifications / word statements - at least they are not purporting to be the absolute truth.

sometimes, i just hate it when i cant do what i want. but i guess it's not cambridge. i'm just weird.

12:45 a.m. - 2006-04-19



and so the link to dairy farm road is finally opened. what took them so long!!! heh. happy for residents of bkt panjang though :)

mm and i really do miss singing in a choir tt rehearses properly b4 performing. was in a non-audition choir in the first term so it wasnt v fulfilling. grrrr. if only i could get an acapella grp running properly... *shakes head* (and then i start thinking abt LT3/4 choir practices. pleasant memories. hm. i wonder how i'll rmb cambridge next time.)

and i need to figure out how to launch myself into work every day.

and i talked to eric-who-disappeared-from-the-face-of-this-earth. hm but i guess the king of those-who-disappeared-from-the-face-of-this-earth is the matthew james randall who's in his home country where sign language is being made an official language by legislation. ahahahaha

ok trust me, i'm not stressed or anyth, i just had a good 3 or 4 hours worth of daydreaming haha.

4:13 p.m. - 2006-04-18




much more efficient way of studying needed though.

9:36 p.m. - 2006-04-17



leeting came to cambridge today. there's always more to see in a small town like this.

zijing and another bunch of ppl were around as well so i had dinner with them. v long conversations. started reminiscing abt the RJ library and the media centre and ohh!!! stuff like lt 2.5, the coffin near the TS 11-20, the speaker's corner.

1:09 a.m. - 2006-04-16


simple meals

i've been eating v simple meals lately. cos i lost the ability to cook haha. this morning there were noodles that were half-cooked, pig's liver which was cooked on the outside and raw in the inside, celery cooked with nothing but salt. and then liver-peanut-carrot-celery soup that dried up. then the day before there was porridge without soya sauce/salt, and a failed experiment with chicken wings.

and yet sometimes, simple meals make me happy :D haha. appreciate the simple things in life!

8:57 p.m. - 2006-04-13



was just looking at the italy elections, thinking abt the small margin, thinking abt how statistically (in)significant it is, and realized tt statistics is so exciting. haha. it's so useful!

11:18 a.m. - 2006-04-12



things will nvr be the same again.

i just talked to xuxu online. it's been a long time - perhaps a month or so - since i last talked to her, and it made me realize again, tt i might just nvr see her again. and even if i meet her, it'll be for a meal, for a day, for a week at most - our lives will b v different, we can't take 156 back to bishan together when we feel like it, and so on. a sense of loss perhaps, and it makes me want to treasure the friendship more.

she made me realize this bcos her home's in china, she's studying in the states, so it does hit me tt yeah i cant do things with her the way i used to back in singapore. and yet, it's actually the same with all other friends, even if they are still in singapore. i'm here in the uk, i'm leading a parallel life, perhaps i'm expecting to return to the life i used to have when i get back to singapore. but i can't. my new hang-out, do-things-together kinda friends will probably be my colleagues. (ok la actually hard to say also la but still)

i don't know why i took so long to realize this. but i'll definitely treasure friendships much much more. and a first step i'll take is to remember peoples' birthdays. sth i nvr did, sth i nvr understood why ppl did, but now i shall do so bcos it's a way of telling the friend i rmb u, i treasure the friendship, let's keep in contact.

it isnt actually all tt bad though. in the first place, i nvr did hang out frequently with half(?) of my friends anyway - these friendships were maintained online with infrequent physical meetings perhaps once in 2 months?

12:10 a.m. - 2006-04-12



Lake Vostok
look at the photos and the flash animation.

i'm just so excited abt its presence. anybody shares my excitement?

9:20 p.m. - 2006-04-09



dug this out from the bottom of my diary (beginning of school year):
"Supervisions are only as useful as I make them to be, just as life is. Well. Haha."

and "To excel". how i wish i could

time spent here has been ok but things could always have done better :)

5:05 p.m. - 2006-04-08



this singapore headline almost scared the shit out of me:
ǧ����Աȫ������ ����չ��Ϊ��һ����
bcos of all the strikes and demonstrations i've been reading abt in france / thailand / philippines / etc. haha.
i really thought i read ����
oooops hahahaha

12:38 p.m. - 2006-04-07


london trip

labuan. i almost forgot abt this place. ---> should put into nuggets section.

london trip yesterday was good, esp since i met rosalynn finally. it's just different isn't it when u meet someone u know after a long break.

though it was only a day i was reasonably happy with what i did. alexandra palace, high up on the hill, ice-skating. british museum. harrods. eating in chinatown. ah. and the coach took the route i take for cycling so i was happy (to just feel like i'm in familiar ground and also to see things develop: construction of some houses have finished). in general, just a happy boy in a city. with the added benefit of being able to go back to it any time. hahaha. will be spending more time/money in london i think in the future... :D though of cos sometimes it's the scarcity of things which make it precious hm.

11:25 a.m. - 2006-04-05



havent exercised for so long hm. but badminton was fun.

arent asians just smart:
my first reaction while reading the article was !!!!!. and then i realized tt actually asians esp japanese are so so innovative. walk into a 1.99 shop and u'll see what i mean.

i liked a part of the conversation with weili yesterday: he has the impression tt the ppl here (uk/us) don't study as hard as us (asians, ok not me), and yet produce similar results. and sometimes tt must be true, looking at how some ppl just go for all the bops they can go for. learning abt their work ethic should be quite interesting, and hopefully we can learn sth from them. haha. but how?

7:38 p.m. - 2006-04-03



haiyah. i like music, and i should do sth to improve myself in it, instead of just sitting here and dunno-waiting-for-what.

i think today in general was just a weird day, with me starting it by calling the med students back home, and chatting a bit. and then now with chorale music and my own piano-playing (and recordings of it back in sg). and haha missing home. not in an acute way. ahhh well. heh

9:41 p.m. - 2006-04-02



time to settle down. i always need quite long to recover from trips eh, bcos they arent really a break - it can be, at times, just work of another kind, and it takes time to digest what exactly happened during the trip after returning.

italy in general was a nice place, and bcos it's the second time i was there, there was a sense of familiarity esp in rome. the ppl were rather friendly overall, and while the mamma-mia stereotype (or at least tt's what i have in mind) doesnt show, their energetic "ciao"s made me sufficiently happy.

i took the trip as a small learning experience. - things like getting to know ppl when queuing for attractions, and learning what extent the conversation should go to so that it doesnt get awkward when u have to part (or if u don't part then u have an additional travel partner - chances are it will be hard to match speed/interests). making new friends in hostels. to be cautious when strangers are exceptionally helpful. to say less when u dunno much abt the attraction/listen to others who do know. to withhold comments, esp when girls are shopping (oops haha - ok to be fair both jiahui and tianyi are very reasonable shoppers). comparative travelling (like comparative psychology or sth like tt), esp architecture/art.

to be patient. this last point i have to bring up bcos i nvr expected myself to get angry at such small things - time-usage-efficiency. perhaps nobody even noticed. i'm not a person with good time management usually, so it's not bcos i'm normally impatient with time-wasters that i was angry(that's equal to being impatient with myself which is stupid). but i realized tt during my travels i'm relatively on-task (perhaps more so than when i'm doing anyth else), because clearly there are limits to time (&money) - compare this with hw - i can always hand it in late (!!!!!).

the reason why shortage of time is a problem is perhaps bcos my purpose in travelling is to say yes i've really been to this place and i know it (esp the map/geography - i love navigation). for tt to happen, i guess i'd have to see a representative number of things/attractions and perhaps even from different perspectives - for glass making on murano i really wanted to see a few more demonstrations. that's why i wouldnt consider taking a rest (stay home/go back earlier) when i'm tired, unless it's for rejuvenation to prevent disasters (e.g. bcuming v ill).

was happy for/abt:
gooood food
value-for-money attractions
attractions that are overwhleming / awe-inspiring
seeing the non-touristy side of places esp venice
feeding pigeons
contrast in attractions (e.g. anglican church in the middle of rome, virtues like simplicity, purity depicted in pictures in doge's palace as opposed to christian themes)
detailed explanations for restoration works at attractions
the two girls on the trip with me - us having similar speeds in museums / willingness to compromise
consolidating my knowledge abt rome on this second trip [not necessarily the history though]

memorable moments:
losing my keys even before the trip started - luckily at that unearthly hour of 4am i met someone who had keys to the computer room where i left my keys.
having cramp shower areas, and thinking tt there's only 1 door instead of 2 - so i had to squeeze myself through into the shower area.
going all the way to piazza del popolo to see tt the obelisk is under restoration. @#$%^&
making a smiley face on the salad at the vatican
35 euro water bus and madness that follows.
ordering fried fish and getting calamari and prawns.
quite a bit of running to catch trains/coaches (venice/stansted)due to unexpected incidents

the 4 cities were all attractive in their own way - once again the small town seems to be my favourite - florence. just like how i found tt brussels had character/charm. perhaps bcos i spent more than enough time at both small towns and could really have a feel of the place. *shrugs*

all the cities have a rich history, but rome's was different because of the roman ruins - i can just imagine how grand things were, at the very centre of the entire roman empire. [perhaps the fact tt no building is allowed to surpass the st peter's basilica gives the entire city a less-than-modern feel now, so i focused more on the past - yet the present is present, unlike in venice]. venice seems small now compared to its huge past and i just feel tt it's a pity that it's been reduced to a tourist attraction. cant say much abt milan from the 5 hours i spent there, but it surely excited me by the fact that it is a big city with developed infrastructure.

12:34 p.m. - 2006-03-30



it was a memorable trip to rome-florence-venice-milan. not too many photos (i need to work on my skills eh), but i enjoyed it. navigating, appreciating the art/architecture/history/people/etc. :)

10:59 p.m. - 2006-03-27



i really dunno how to describe this hm. a feeling i've had on various occasions, esp when it comes to big decisions. knowing (assuming) tt sth should happen [like my going to chinese high], and concurrently somehow knowing tt it will nvr happen - and indeed it doesnt. or bio o perhaps. maybe it's a sort of dream i have sometimes. i dunno i cant think of examples now but it's a strange feeling. and haha i'm bringing this up bcos some time back i was thinking of my future hmmm. now it's just a total blank though - i've no idea what's gonna happen in the next few years.

and i was singing some songs. candle in the wind. a sudden memory flash back to pri sch, when i made a car out of clay for art class. it was a volkswagen, painted mostly pinkish with yellow and green, which i brought to school in a carrefour croissant plastic disposable container (carrefour just opened not long ago), and i thought it was v nice at tt time but haha now i must admit it was horrible. a brief check with another part of my memory shows that that was when princess diana died. (and when i first heard the song).

"from a distance" brings back memories of jelita delifrance, and it will always be a memory bcos it's gone.

all choir songs will bring back a distinct chapter of my choir life (and associated school life i'd suppose).

"the circle game" brings back the post-o-lvls didnt-go-to-prague memories.

airport trolley
bkt panjang lrt / science centre
brave new world
hotel rwanda
south wales

12:34 a.m. - 2006-03-17



haha its quite funny ppl are coming in to my room to see if they like it, and i'm trying all sorts of methods to tell them how everything's bad. lol. but at the end of it, still have to say "but otherwise the room's fine" to make myself sound less suspicious. guess i'll have to lose my room no matter what... :(

4:33 p.m. - 2006-03-12



havent been posting much.

interesting stuff from wiki
amateur radio direction finding

and i'm also glad the nasa mars recce orbitter successfully entered orbit.

there are things which i know i should do, but i just don't (too lazy to) do or can't do them. and i dont mean homework.

4:28 a.m. - 2006-03-12



it's worth noting here that the weather is slowly turning warm - it reached a high of 11.8�C today. and it seems like it'll get wetter. i see myself missing the nice and cold weather very soon.

1:55 a.m. - 2006-03-09



haha i'm just so muddled up now, i need rest. heeee.

12:43 a.m. - 2006-03-02



haha. making good progress for my essay.

anyhow. i must always remind myself tt i'm privileged to have the chance to do the things i'm doing [academic opportunities offered by cambridge, lab work for example]. first term was yucky cos of A lvl overlaps, but hey everything is speeding up lots now (ok fine, way too much), and haha. hmm. haha. -braindead.

4:33 a.m. - 2006-03-01


essay finish

a good day. a v v good lunch, then snowed for a short while, just until i got to french class, during which i understood quite a bit, and made me feel like continuing french next year. why dont i continue the good day by finishing my essay early. muahahaha.

4:20 p.m. - 2006-02-28



reading about the bank robbery on the news i started thinking abt how exciting it must be to plan one. its like hide n seek with the police, and to see everyth in this big project go according to plan must be really fulfilling. hm... we should employ robbers in industries which need extra precision e.g. space agencies.

4:58 p.m. - 2006-02-26



its just amazing. my correction fluid (the red type with a white cover) was leaking all over the place just a few days back cos i kinda caused the stopper to disappear, but it floated back up again today! so i'm happy. so next time if anyone has the same problem, stand it upright and wait with patience.

11:37 p.m. - 2006-02-22



in a way i'm so glad i've my own room so i can sleep any time i like. although perhaps the whole staircase is still pretty much awake at this time.

but my circadian rhythm is pretty screwed up. not just mine, but my plant's as well bcos as long as i'm not asleep the lights are on. and being a winter / spring-heralding plant it's not supposed to get too much sunlight so i suspect tt's what's causing early senescence haha.

12:35 a.m. - 2006-02-21



haha was reading this on the straits times:
6070: A basic phone with camera, music player and FM radio

so now camera, music player and FM radio have become the basic functions of phones. i cherish my 2100 much more somehow haha. a phone is a phone!!!

7:30 p.m. - 2006-02-19



took a short break and visited another shopping mall in cambridge. we're really spoilt for choice when it comes to supermarkets, u name it we have it. marks & spencer, aldi, asda, iceland, waitrose, tesco, sainsbury, (co-op).

extremely tired and sleepy

4:04 p.m. - 2006-02-18



it was quite embarrassing when i kept nodding and uh-huh-ing during qb supervision when helena was like "hm is that right?" and then i realized tt the supervisor wasnt really making sense and both of us started laughing.

i was glad i did some cursory reading of the notes b4 i went for the plant physio lecture because it helped so much. managed to stay awake apart from 2 x 5 second lapses. best performance in a week i think.

2:24 p.m. - 2006-02-16



spring is coming...

8:20 a.m. - 2006-02-15



went swimming this morning and there was a slide! hahahaha. childish as usual BUT i only went once. ONLY once. that's definitely an improvement.

2:41 p.m. - 2006-02-12



ma ying jeou was here in cambridge today, we heard him speak for a while. i did have a photo taken with him, just that i was outside the field of vision of the lens. haha.

otherwise, it was a pretty fine day :)

7:48 p.m. - 2006-02-11



small little things like:

how the ad on straits-times-interactive articles really irritates me with its audio moiety.

took a shower in chem lab after the pipe got loose from the condenser. haha. cool stuff.

the C-O pi star orbital: closer to cambridge. the bonding is nearer to oxford - so says our demonstrator

singapore pools earns $3,848,500 if every ticket is sold for the singapore sweep.

singapore's making efforts to reduce usage of plastic bags! great!

i havent been home for quite long now hmmm

4:08 p.m. - 2006-02-10



first i was happy to go to the supermarket (sains) just now, it was so huge, and had so much to offer, and brought memories of me shopping with my parents. and there was the car and getting lost. and now i'm so happy it's raining cos it feels like singapore. haha. small little things can make me happy...

12:24 a.m. - 2006-02-08



haha shit. was telling myself, nvm i can do this later today. i actually said today! and it's so warm today, it's almost hot in my room. 7 degreees! after midnight, mind you...

haha. ppl drink alcohol to get high. me? dun need la.

1:54 a.m. - 2006-02-07



it's unbelievable but i actually reached home by 2:30pm. cells prac! muahahahaha

2:39 p.m. - 2006-02-06



today was actually a tremendously enjoyable day, it's unbelievable.

cycling was good somehow, better than the st ives trip, even though i had a punctured tyre, AGAIN. it's all part of the fun (not being sarcastic). and going an extra mile (yar right, more like 2 to 3 miles) to get to the station bcos i got wrong directions from a kind-hearted man. and i particularly liked sawston, it was such a pleasant town, not too big, not too small. i was beaming when i left the town (i.e. those white circular signs with a black slash across). and it was more exciting today cos there were so many up-and-downhills, the topo there is more undulating. i've confidence i'll do this for many more times to come. each trip is different yet the sense of familiarity also makes me happy at the same time.

the ball was also surprisingly fun, perhaps cos nowadays i've learnt to let go of the self-consciousness tt i have (which isnt unfounded, really), and found a way to express myself comfortably. ate not-too-bad food (i must add tt i only had 2 slices of bread and an apple for the whole day), and most importantly, shared an evening with this bunch of ppl, whom, i was telling audry, i cant really ask much more from. a bunch that i'm slowly but surely considering as friends, no matter how different we are. how strange.

i dunno how much i'll change in cambridge, but at the same time i want to call out to my friends in singapore, pls keep in touch with me...

2:26 a.m. - 2006-02-06



i spent a good solid 3 hours with my parents just now, and i'm rather happy. nice dream.

and this also reminds me tt i had a dream b4 tt thinking about how cheap stuff in singapore is. heh. 6+ for a mos burger meal = 2 pounds = dirt cheap. ok actually come to think of it, maybe not. hahahaha

4:32 p.m. - 2006-02-03



hmm. the heater is on at this time! i've stayed up long enough for the college to feel tt i ought to be rewarded for my efforts muahahaha.

4:49 a.m. - 2006-02-02



1) hong king?
2) andy - exclusively for use by family friends/piano teacher
3) hong - interestingly. some brits take it as my name, and my parents call me tt as well, when i'm a good boy
4) say zhai bau

1) hk
2) hk
3) hongking (without the space)

1) voice?
2) my height? (tt's abt the only other thing i can list here)
3) looks up and down. dunno?? ok my mole.

1) the pretty scar on my right hand from sodium nitrite --> sodium nitrate
2) the hay-like hair
3) my smelly feet and sweaty palms
[now that was easy enough]

1) my mum crying when i really make her v v angry
2) asthma attacks (when they used to exist)
3) other near-death experiences, but only for a short while after that

1) computer email/chat/etc
2) find something to clean.
3) this is quite sad. if only i could write things like "read a book".

1) black giordano long-sleeved cotton shirt that has shrunken quite a bit
2) blue jacket tt my mum spent about 10+SGD to send over (postage was 100SGD in all) - and which made me love my mum for a period of abt a week after receiving it
3) dark blue pants, of which i have 2 exact copies, so don't suspect i havent done my laundry for very long just because of this - find other clues.

1) hmmm anyth from my dad's generation
2) if my friends introduce their favourite bands/artists to me they could v well bcum mine too

THREE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS: ( in no particular order )
1) Crucifixus - Antonio Lotti
2) Vincent - Don Maclean
3) Lai2 ye4 fang1 chang2 - Kit Chan / William So

1) growth
2) comfort and faith
3) happiness /possibly in shared interests

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1) I think I'll end up settling in Singapore
2) I always work hard to achieve my goals
3) I think it's obvious which is the lie (mm this could be the lie)

1) Independence and dependence at the same time
2) Determination (which then bcums intimidating at times)
3) Happiness

1) fix/clean/invent/make things - being a handyman
2) cycling, though i hope i dont get bored of it too soon
3) music - sing or piano

1) do my overdue holiday essay (this could be written under the 2-truths-and-a-lie section)
2) eat yoghurt/ice cream
3) call ppl to talk to them

1) ahahaha a professional singer (when i was younger)
2) and further hahahah's, an employee of cathay pacific (so tt i can actually afford to fly all over the world) - although seriously this was another thing tt i assumed to be the truth when i was younger
3) doctor - still considering
4) eh shit where did "civil servant" go.

1) Australia (i've NEVER been there)
2) London (to be realistic)
3) Japan (i mean i'm sure there are many other exotic places i could want to go to but hm this sounds like a good place to go to if i want to keep my jap)

1) havent dealt with kids recently hm

1) get married and have a happy family - tt somehow includes sex doesn't it (hmmm shhhh) - although i dun mean tt i want to have sex
2) to manage my time well
3) produce sth tt i can be really proud of

1) i errrr play soccer? hmm. shit.
2) i like girls? (i'm not doubting tt i like girls, pls dun read tt wrongly)

1) mm there are many girls in cambridge and they'll kill me if they find out tt i think tt a girl is stereotypically blah blah blah.
2) i decorate my room, with flowers too.

1) and yet u can find me in a room with a few other girls and they wunt really treat me as a guy
2) i decorate my room, with the flower pot, even if the entire plant is gone - the toothpick tt used to label the genus and species has become the tombstone. and not to forget, decorating with the singapore flag as well.

1) audry (as though she'd bother, and where can she put it anyway)
2) yifan (so tt i can be thanked by people who get entertained after reading his entry)
3) jiahui (let's see what funny things she comes up with as well)
4) sorry sang i only rmbed after shifeng asked me to do

9:09 p.m. - 2006-01-29



the food tonight was really quite good, i'm rather proud of ourselves. and the egg tart audry/i made tasted reasonably like the real thing, though it could still be improved.

but welcoming lunar new year this way just didnt feel v right. that it has been reduced to just another cookout. meeting these ppl whom i'd call friends for the next few years, whom i dun really know tt well (not yet anyway). i want to be with family! i guess this means tt lunar new year really has some significance to me, though i havent realized it all these years.

the first time, the first part of every experience is always the most precious. the anticipation and hope decreases exponentially with time. i rmb clearly how i felt when i just reached here and listened to the year 2s tell us about our course, and bring us around the campus. it's so different now. routine has made me appreciate things much less, made me highly susceptible to sianness. i need to find some purpose in this entire experience here. and in anything i do. hmmm.

n i just wish i could express myself better.

1:03 a.m. - 2006-01-29



recently i've been getting really frustrated with myself for forgetting A lvl stuff (thanks to the fact tt i wasnt too much of a consistent worker) - and yet i rmb o lvl geog during geology - and i was convinced my brain was rotting in cambridge when i started wondering: how can d/dx [ln(nx)] be equal to 1/x for all n=Real??? until i realized, tt's just me bcuming sharper at realizing such interesting facts {can the world pls just let me console myself}

12:58 a.m. - 2006-01-24


st ives

it seeeems tt i've had an ever-decreasing need to blog.

just wanted to say, made a trip to st ives today, and it felt rather different. perhaps bcos it's term time. it was some sort of fun in any case.

work hard, play hard 's the way to go.

10:29 p.m. - 2006-01-22



it's funny how it still feels the same mugging last minute, the way i'll be telling myself while mugging, "ok i'll not ever let myself do this again" - it's like nothing has changed. well, nothing has changed indeed (since more than a year ago!). haha but you just know that you can't continue any more when you start writing things like "increased rise in [Ca2+]" (and of cos i dun really mean increased rise)

1:59 a.m. - 2006-01-17



time's an opponent i'm always fighting against. what it has is the ability to never stop running. it's a defensive game, and i'm merely making unforced errors! strive on!

5:19 p.m. - 2006-01-13



i guess sometimes if i asked less questions, studying would be much easier, yet more difficult at the same time. bcos pure absorbing can be such a pain at times.

4:39 p.m. - 2006-01-13



i think there's an urgent need for me to manage my time better - i'm really not too proud of my last-minute habits, and uni's not the place where i can depend only on such non-consistent work. review review review!

watching kenshin over the past few days has helped me revise my jap a great deal, and i'm v glad. i need the same exposure for french if i really want to grasp it quickly. and my attitude towards the new term must must change. to do work promptly, properly, and YET to play hard... haha. tough

otherwise, things are ok as they are now

2:06 a.m. - 2006-01-12



hmmm it seems tt with increased numbers of parallel (mutually exclusive) lives/experiences it also gets increasingly easier to switch between them without feeling tt anyth changed / missing the other life. almost as easy as Alt-Tab.

and i just rediscovered tt shift-click in I.E. is open in new window. must have known this once upon a time. sometimes accidental key combinations on the computer can give pleasant surprises...

12:34 p.m. - 2006-01-09



i've kenny staying with me for a while, it's nice having him ard...

i am so happy tt i got my bike back. after repairs. after dunno how many days of not riding, it feels just so good haha. the ride feels smooth too (though if the roads were less bumpy i'd be even happier)

3:42 p.m. - 2006-01-06



ちょっと内観してから、来临的一年究竟要怎么过か、まだ分からないけれど、できるだけ生命の意味をespère découvrir。

1:01 a.m. - 2006-01-05



我听过但没下载过他的歌词,所以一直把他唱的当另一种乐器欣赏。- referring to jay chou. ahahahahaha

7:57 p.m. - 2006-01-03



it was a most interesting way to "wrap up" the year. i had a super-duper combo dream, consisting of so many ppl, tt i had to sleep OT (2 hours? - havent i mentioned that i can go back to sleep/dream even after waking up) to complete it in some sense [dreams dun ever get completed do they]. and most of the ppl were actually family friends - ppl i havent seen for ages. it was funny how i managed to meet friend after friend while travelling (though i must have been to new york city, amsterdam, malaysia all at once). and my parents bought a BIG house.

in any case none of what happened in the dream was real and i had the dream prob cos i was thinking of the significant events tt happened in 2005, which, as I now recall, consisted mainly of army life. hm.

just spent 3 hrs on reading my blog entries this year. i had a number of new experiences but much of it was passive. slightly more active during the break (post-psc - luang prabang, meeting teachers, teaching, vet) but i guess what i should try to do this year / term is to be active even when i can live passively. to be in control.

there were some low points (end-ocs/psc) which actually made me more humble than usual - but a sort of forced humility, i felt there was nobody to be better than, how to be arrogant!? in cambridge arrogance (intrinsic in me? change it?) came back and it shall go.

ultimately, what am i living life for? if i know tt i guess i can be more passionate abt what i (want to) do... but i want to move away from peer pressure as a reason for me to push myself.

10:30 a.m. - 2006-01-02



new year new page? used to be the case haha but no longer, shall go by cambridge terms. anyhow new year's eve was alright - games and dinner. simple enough to be enjoyable. not thinking of could-have-done-this, could-have-done-tt - and tt shall be how this year shall be. to do things and not have to regret.

looking forward to a year of obstacles/challenges/triumph of determination, new discoveries, changes/re-discoveries, growth/maturing.

1:04 a.m. - 2006-01-01



first it was a refreshing day to have yuepeng and zhihong around in cambridge *and believe it or not, punt in the rain when the thermometer reading was hovering around zero* and then it was a refreshing night to see yifan and huixin and listen to various arguments.

enjoyed. i want to talk! to old friends...!

hmmm i suddenly wonder whether i want to remember my experiences more fully. i used to (want to) write down every single thing tt happens to me (esp on trips), but nowadays, i just dun feel it's necessary. gd or bad? hmmm.

12:09 a.m. - 2005-12-31



it's a really random thought but haha:
the structure of a typical course for the Masters of Crime,
Lecture series: Game theory [esp prisoner's dilemma]
Practicals / Fieldtrips
Overseas trips - cultural exchange

haha ah crappy it must be cos it's 1am.

1:04 a.m. - 2005-12-30



omg i'm nvr going to shower at night again. i felt warmer when i was soaping then when i was showering. *shudders*

1:32 a.m. - 2005-12-29



i'm so glad i locked myself out today! phew.

cambridge has many hidden treasures i think it takes quite a while to explore them all. fun fun fun!

to make the most out of the cambridge experience - how?

5:11 p.m. - 2005-12-28



i've made so many bargain buys these few days i'm quite happy haha. nth above 7 pounds. so haha what could i possibly have bought??

anyhow i bought a new bottle of shower cream today and oh my god i just feel like eating it all up. it smells so good!

11:08 p.m. - 2005-12-27



i dread the coming of the next term. i know it's still a while away, but i'm dreading it already. i'm so unwilling to give up the freedoms i've had for the past month. urgh.

the freedom of choice - to do what i want just when i feel like it

the freedom from spatial limits - to go anywhere i want to!

the freedom from definition of time - to wake up at 2pm and sleep at 10pm, to go out onto the streets not knowing which day of the week it is

the freedom from interpersonal relationships - i dont love the company of ppl in general. i cant get this even in jail. heh. although if u're my friend then i guess it's slightly different.

the freedom from the nagging feeling to do work - or at least, not as strong as during termtime

if there's one thing i want to achieve next year, it would be to read, to read much more widely and yet not compromise on depth.

11:35 a.m. - 2005-12-27



blueprints are so called bcos they use Fe4[Fe(CN)6]3 (which gives the colour prussian blue due to the transfer of electrons between the Fe(II) and Fe(III).

11:45 p.m. - 2005-12-25



so the natural instinct of animals is to hibernate when there isnt sufficient food! just woke up, and to my surprise yuepeng is in london. so i suggested tt he come visit me (forgetting tt the colleges are all closed hm haha). if he does come i shall have to bother people in the different colleges (if there is anybody left at all) to use their keys hahaha.

10:27 p.m. - 2005-12-25



an important fact tt makes any impression/knowledge of me complete:
i listen to no music, watch no movies/tvs, read no books. pretty much sums up my life :) - unique huh.

though i'd pretty much like to change tt.

6:16 p.m. - 2005-12-25



grantchester is pretty nice - there were so many families taking a walk there on this christmas day. rode all the way out to sawston b4 i saw/heard the result of another smart thing i did. a bulge on my tyre. and before i could take out my pump to relieve the pressure *poof* and i could see some white stuff (thinks physics - the adiabatic expansion must have caused water vapour to condense). one particular car was v kind to turn back after passing me to ask if i needed help but i ended up walking the 6 miles back cos the bike's prob too big for any car.

4:45 p.m. - 2005-12-25


smartness starvation

the smartest thing i've done so far since coming to the uk - to not buy food for the next 2 days. i'm so not going to be able to chiong for boxing day sales haha.

went for the world-famous nine lessons and carols service at king's college. it was pretty alright though i was more impressed by the building (which is surprising cos the last time i went in i wasnt too impressed) than by the service. they sang what sweeter music! and i thought the RJ girls did it better than their boys. [though our guys wouldnt be quite as strong la] forward to the 10th minute and wait a bit anyhow. the 5.5hour-queue was kinda worth it perhaps only bcos it was part of the experience.

then attended a malaysian christmas eve cookout and thought tt the bunch of malaysians are quite different from our bunch of singaporeans. anyhow the most interesting part was coming back - it was SO foggy tt even my spectacles were fogged up. ironically though i managed to avoid all the potholes tt i sometimes ride into. i really liked the fog and the stillness of the night (no wind = not cold).

rather tired from the trip actually. cant possibly be too fit now. have to start training man.

11:35 p.m. - 2005-12-24



ely-cycle-trip today was enjoyable :)

there's always a first time to everything, and it's always the most memorable and impressive. like for me the nyc subway is THE one even though the paris metro is equally interesting. and st peter's basilica was amazing (due to its size) and all those i saw during this europe trip should have been equally impressive but i was not at all impressed. *shrugs*

11:18 p.m. - 2005-12-23



i was so frustrated just now for no particular reason. v v weird. i need to get into a routine i think.

maybe i should stop trying to cook hm.

10:39 p.m. - 2005-12-21



woke up at 12noon yest, and 2.30pm today. what next? anyhow i'm just waiting and hoping for my homestay parents to send an email to me, cos we've lost contact since i left for cambridge. i called the uni he was working at last night and hopefully they'll help me do sth...

i so wanted to go ard cambridge but it looks like i've less than two hours of grey gloomy skies before it turns dark totally. ah well haha.

2:45 p.m. - 2005-12-21



i'm not wanting to not do anything at all. and yet there doesnt seem much to do (rubbish). why do i always have to feel tt there's so much more that can be done? why can't i just be satisfied with what i have?

i just have this nagging feeling that i need to grow up, i need to grow up, i need to grow up!!!! to be true to myself, to live for myself. my next term will be different.


the trip was good, but good bcos of the company. a rather gd mix. sightseeing-wise i thought we fell into the trap of chionging to/around the places - which is inevitable really bcos of our limited financial abilities, though i do like chionging. net gain is excitement and fun, but there is really not much meaning in it. getting to know ppl better was the best part i thought.

my love for transport systems won't ever die i think and i remain highly excited abt all the complicated transport networks in the various european cities. if for no other purpose i'm willing to go to places just to experience and understand the transport systems - they are the biggest attractions themselves to me.

it does get pointless after visiting countless churches and palaces if you don't know the history/purpose etc behind the buildings - more homework needs to be done on my next trip, for meaningful appreciation. and the only thing i knew of in the louvre was the mona lisa. sad huh, not even venus.

paris-brussels-amsterdam. which did i like best? none really, i just liked the change in character in the cities. where did i have the best time? was happiest in brussels, with the christmas market and the atmosphere it creates bringing a very complete experience.

but on the whole, the trip was better than expected and i am satisfied with the 435 pounds i spent on the trip :)

5:33 p.m. - 2005-12-20



finally changed my tyre after so many days, and it was really fun (though tiring and cold). the brakes dun screech any more, which is a good thing for the general public, but i kinda miss them cos i used to use them as a bell on the ever-so-congested streets of cambridge. apart from that, the screeching noise also made me feel like they worked really well. now they feel a bit less effective.

mmm. need to get prepared. je ne sui pas dispose pour mon voyage.

2:03 p.m. - 2005-12-07



as i look at this trip's expenses and my daily expenses, i really realize how pound-foolish penny-wise i am - literally!!! no more of such trips man heh.

1:56 p.m. - 2005-12-06



it's quite funny how i always find it so confusing when it comes to drummer street / bus station, bcos roads in my mind's map run perpendicular to each other (north-south and east-west axis), and i always get this how-can-a-north-south-road-become-east-west feeling, because that road is orientated almost southeast-northwest. looks like i need to add two more axes so that i have eight compass points instead of four, and things will become more accurate haha.

2:20 a.m. - 2005-12-06



shucks. sometimes i think i confuse myself too much - physio again! & non-academic stuff as well. yet tt could be a good sign actually. hmmmm. getting irritated, esp since i'm not in the perfect state of health / mood.

the thing abt uni tt i've to cope with is having to retain all the info i'm given, whereas i used to read the same thing (ok maybe less la) and just have to grasp the basic concepts. it's not easy, esp if i'm kiasu/i.

gd thing is there's lots of integration of the diff subjects. maths & physio now especially, v helpful, though would have been more helpful perhaps if i had gone for more lectures to aid in understanding - now i've yet to read it hm...

many ppl seem to be having fun outside hm. *laughter* *GigGLeZ*, but hmmz the essay's been beckoning for ages, i should stop getting confused.

10:16 p.m. - 2005-12-04



just feel like getting out of town and not doing anything.

but then again, the essay is due tml...

12:21 p.m. - 2005-12-04



it's end of term and i kinda feel lost - not sure of what to do, and even more unsure about whether i will make full use of this hols hm. and somewhat bracing myself for potential bouts of loneliness. n lack of proper hot meals. quite bleak an outlook huh.

nonetheless life is still going on i'm still spending time on essays (n did i mention, overdue ones). school life seems to have resumed to RJ-style: i went into qb supervision having prepared for only 2 of 5 questions, but i got through it anyway by responding to the supervisor's questions. time to catch up, but really, this time it's not so much my own fault - the physio syllabus is highly highly compressed - lots of reading to be done on our own.

choir concert was yesterday and i was quite happy cos i managed to sightsing some parts and i could hear myself. the most irritating thing ever is to have a terrible singer stand behind you, blast into your ears, so tt u can't hear yourself at all and for me personally i can't tune myself as a result. audry was happy cos it was her first time singing in a choir. i like the idea that different ppl can be happy because of the same event, but for a different reason.

hmm... will try occupying myself by inventing lots of stuff.

4:59 p.m. - 2005-12-02



although sunset is getting a bit too early, i like the fact tt sunset is getting noticeably earlier, tt leaves are turning yellow, red, then gone, tt the squirrels have hidden away their foodstores for winter (they were burying walnuts in my college in oct?), etc. such a nice way to know tt time is passing, instead of using "oh it's the prelims or it's the common tests after the june hols".

time is continuous. i find it so much more appealing tt way...

3:36 p.m. - 2005-11-28



i'm so so happy now tt i finally read sth tt tells me tt increased venous return increases cardiac output is a flawed concept (and leads to misconceptions like positive feedback - homeostasis my foot!) it's no wonder tt right at the beginning i kept dividing things into negative and positive feedback and spent hours talking to myself figuring out what the hell was happening.

the best part, though, is that the article was written by lecturers/professors from where else but cambridge.

i find it immensely irritating tt i still have to use resources from other universities (as was the case back in RJ). maybe i just aint using the appropriate resources.

i'm almost adjusting to a new time zone, doing work till like early in the morning (maybe it wont be tt early today) and waking up at 1 in the afternoon --> -5 hmmm could be in new york...

5:25 a.m. - 2005-11-27



physio is not easy at all. goodness! i just wish sometimes tt i was reading overly-cheem stuff.

6:39 a.m. - 2005-11-24



sometimes lecturers will say, "looking at all the experimental evidence, you will find that there is a problem."

and it's so hard to agree with them, bcos they've either assumed tt u're too stupid (or you already know the "problem" so it's no longer a problem, or indeed some of the older landmark experiments werent really that smart), or u're really just too stupid n u don't even see the problem and u spend half (or more) of ur time figuring out what is / why is there a problem b4 trying to understand the solution to a problem u just understood.

9:10 p.m. - 2005-11-22



finally have some time to blog abt the caving trip one week ago...

it was a truly good experience. quote myself: "these past 2 days must be one of the most fantastic hols i've had in my life... it's an amazing world down there in the caves..."

for very simple reasons.
i managed to totally forget abt anything and everything during this trip (e.g. "shit tml's prac going to suck, i've an essay to finish, etc") and enjoy myself thoroughly and immerse myself in the natural environment - it's the natural result of my interaction with nature.

the company - jia hui - was fun.

the caves underground are so so fascinating. cos it's so deep down and there's so much to see / feel.

climbing up and down in a confined space is surprisingly sth i am relatively good at and i enjoy doing things i'm good at.

i understood what ppl mean by understanding themselves better during challenges e.g. obs. it was clear tt i cope by convincing myself to be satisfied with whatever i have and be prepared for worse that is coming. when it was wet and wet and cold and cold down there...

the drive there through the small towns was fun. seeing a side of UK i'd nvr have seen otherwise.

somehow it is just a more precious memory bcos i couldnt take any photos of the inside. yeah. the waterfall inside, the stream. heh.

there were times when i was afraid of the water. a near-drowning experience isnt so easily forgotten.

1:26 p.m. - 2005-11-20



i used not to be able to decide whether i am a hong konger or a singaporean, but when i saw a face in the LT tt obviously was a hong konger (u can just tell sometimes), and wanted to tell her hey i'm a hong konger too, tt's when i realized i'm no hong konger. it's a shame, really, but i need to learn to be a hong konger. it doesnt make me any less singaporean though. how? i've to figure out.

meanwhile going to royce's place where there was pure male company was quite a refreshing change. nice.

my room is freezing now, bcos i chose it to be so.

10:37 p.m. - 2005-11-18



it's below the triple point of water!!! no signs of freezing though, not yet anw (i've this container of water just by my window)

pretty happy today, did some filing (+ realized the number of enrichment lectures tt i've gone for) and realized how much i still do not know. haha. always a good feeling. not really being too sarcastic actually.

and i'm talking to g6pd my bmt sectionmate/buddy. haha kinda miss the army. *bish*ed.

12:28 a.m. - 2005-11-18



it's so sad :'( i got 10/20 for my physio essay again thanks to some factual errors (!!!) though apparently it was an improvement from the previous one (well if he didnt say tt i'd just die cos i spent 12 hrs on this essay). hm. time to catch up on lots and lots and lots and some more work.

caving has brought me into the holiday mood and i was nearly sleeping during supervision just now.

quite quite disgusted with myself for the holiday planning i'm in the v cant-be-bothered mode.

ok gone i shall be

6:37 p.m. - 2005-11-17



will blog abt the caving trip soon, but meanwhile, work's beckoning.

9:33 p.m. - 2005-11-14



time to take a rest :)

11:02 p.m. - 2005-11-10


shepherd's pie

the most ridiculous thing has happened. my tooth filling dropped out after eating shepherd's pie. the potato was dried up and sticky. grrrrrrrr!!! they better reimburse me. heard dental treatment here is really ex...

7:05 p.m. - 2005-11-07



cell bio pracs r bcuming more fun! getting results fine. happy :)

5:54 p.m. - 2005-11-07



so happy i'm learing french haha sometimes i think the american system might be better for me in tt i need a wide variety of subjects to keep me from being bored. yet. i prob cant do humans. which is why i'm here in the uk!

is it possible tt i end up doing research in the end?

11:05 p.m. - 2005-11-06



pig. i only saw the sun for 2 hours or so today. bathed, ate lunch, did 6 physio mcqs. the rest was sleep! @#$%^&

5:59 p.m. - 2005-11-06




2:27 p.m. - 2005-11-06



spent the first half of today finishing my physio essay! happy stuff, but i must really start working more efficiently. then got interviewed by mark abt hk and democracy (i prob wasnt a v gd interviewee). had lots of asian food today. went to watch oxbridge games. there was fireworks at night! guy fawkes day. amazing stuff la really. came back to the room and had both ox-and-bridge ppl sharing their experiences. i need to experience more.

n of cos, i need to sleep more.

i need some challenge. hmz. and some change maybe.

1:43 a.m. - 2005-11-06



yest after a most interesting frog calf muscle practical we went out of the physio department and...
"no way!" "that is a bitch" "you must be joking" "shit" "yippeee"

we don't get heavy rain tt much. haha.

today's choir session was quite boring when it began but in the second half when i transferred over to tenor it was more challenging. haha. it's funny how i miss singing in a choir even though i am singing in one now. where have all the pok-poks gone?

10:55 p.m. - 2005-11-03



abt time to get sth new to do. so started bell ringing today. cool stuff.

7:50 p.m. - 2005-11-02



after going for NS, counting down seems to have become a habit. haha. already halfway through this term. the end of the year is coming, and the end of my academic year in cambridge aint tt far off. heh.

writing essays are v tedious and time consuming and stress inducing but hey! they can be fun.

esp when there's no food around for me to munch on. food only distracts. if only it gets me fat. *receives many bishes from ppl*

1:30 a.m. - 2005-11-02



errr haha. had just *tt* much more of sleep. oops!

9:30 a.m. - 2005-11-01



happy evening haha. just talked to the other 2 staircase mates. great :)

6:08 p.m. - 2005-10-30



my first end-of-daylight-saving was spent in bed haha. anw. the nmr machine was quite cool. the tube went down into the magnetic field making a sound like tt made by spaceships when aliens come out. ahaha.

i have work to do :)

8:00 a.m. - 2005-10-30



cycling is really sth i enjoy so much, i dunno how i can survive without it. it's a big part of my cambridge experience. yet haha if i had a bike in sg maybe it wunt be so different. cycling at night is v soothing, and cycling thru dark places not knowing exactly where i am brings just the right amt of excitement while keeping the soothing effect intact.

and i'm so glad i b(r)ought my tealight holder and blue star (as i'm sure i've already mentioned), bcos they can modify my mood so much.

i look at my family photo quite frequently cos it's just bhind the laptop screen (haha quite disappointing huh. not looking at my parents bcos i miss them. and yet, its funny tt i dun even see their faces so much when i was back in sg)

what is the cambridge experience? i link some places / events to things in singapore. there are also absolutely new things. i'll explore them later (e.g. living a life of bops and drinking and stuff like tt), but now i'm just trying to find a local (as opposed to global) equilibrium state, to enjoy the place in my own way, while the work is light [don't kill me].

i've been literally just doing hw, and having fun. it has to be beyond tt, i know, and tt shall come soon. perhaps the gd thing abt being in cambridge now is i have control over what exactly i wish to do.

being in university here is abt being independent and having self-motivation. i don't have much of the latter, i work v much thru peer-pressure / mother-control (not in a bad way), and now i've to change.

i miss all my friends, and you don't realize it until u're gone. (err of cos. u cant miss ppl until u leave) is friendship abt knowing exactly what the other person is thinking? is it abt taking time to find out as much as possible abt the person, to understand, and to predict the person's behaviour? is tt my version of friendship now?

mmhm. yeah.

12:00 a.m. - 2005-10-29



it's scary how much a person can eat when stressed. my god. i ate so much while trying to do the essay just now...

7:10 p.m. - 2005-10-27



what is it with hong kings and his complaints abt last-minute work? terrrible. pas mal.

11:37 p.m. - 2005-10-26



thankyou v much, i was v touched. :) yeah. *awwwww* thanks in particular to sang for the first card to be received, my staircase mates who gave me a scarf/slippers, huixin/agnes/yifan who gave me cambridge stuff, and audry for planning the surprise...

my parents are fine, luckily. it was altitude illness apparently. i was getting quite worried and today was my second consecutive day of dreaming of them.

i need to sleep after a long long day.

cambridge isnt all tt intellectually stimulating yet, but i ought to make an extra effort to make it so. supervisions are only as usual as i make them to be.

11:37 p.m. - 2005-10-25



ahahha i woke up a pretty grumpy ms lee who was wondering why hong king was calling at 7am in the morning (she forgot i was overseas) and i ended up talking to her for quite a while. ahaha.

n i saw stephen hawkings the other day.

mm msned with xuxu as well. nice.

12:28 a.m. - 2005-10-24



haha what am i doing now? printing the map of uk...

8:24 p.m. - 2005-10-23



i better get into the routine

i think our qb lecturer ought to draw his graphs more properly. in my opinion, as a mathematician (esp one who's teaching us abt different kinds of graphs), graph-drawing is a fundamental skill. but whatever is meant to intersect nvr does so at the right place.

11:55 a.m. - 2005-10-23



it's really fast, it's almost a month now. need to review the way i work, the ppl i meet, the things i take part in. it's still possible... :)

10:34 a.m. - 2005-10-23



punted yest, did laundry at john's. sit with tianjiao for lectures sometimes. n i'm quite quite tired. and there are so many department stores at/near grafton. and my flower's dying or sth. and *nods* my parents are sick and i dunno what's wrong or how they are now. they're in china. i've tried calling but the singtel number i "just dialled is not available".


10:44 p.m. - 2005-10-22



shucks haha music causes me to lose the entire night. !!! hmmmmmmm!!!

its quite surreal actually. i just took a look at my posb acct, and in the transaction records there's stuff like cash deposit at serangoon central, top up ezlink at bishan, cash withdrawal at causeway point, ntu canteen, pasir ris bus interchange, using nets to pay at ntuc, polyclinic, etc. home haha.

and this is still a long long holiday. it's taking abnormally long...

11:42 p.m. - 2005-10-20



time passes slowly/fastly. cos each week is 2 weeks here. the academic week starts on thursday and my normal week starts on monday. so life is very bearable. :)

just had choir today. it was a non-audition choir (n it's in my college!) but it seemed to have pretty good singers - u cant be sure cos we were practising in the chapel (a v bad idea). n besides i cant really tell unless ppl are really bad. we're singing mozart's requiem. exciting idea and should be pretty majestic. yet i miss singing the way we used to. haha. pok pok alimpa ko pok! yeah but this shall be fun...

10:43 p.m. - 2005-10-20



i've 26 min to start and finish my last minute work. not a lot of time issit

4:34 p.m. - 2005-10-20



it's a dark, rainy, damp, early night. hmmz. make it nice, haha. *tada* in comes my tealights and star. :D

7:21 p.m. - 2005-10-19



mm. the day was actually fun fun fun. with french, caving training, and then piano practice. and haha who else was on the flute next door but my dear neighbour olivia. quite funny actually, i was playing from her score and she thought it might have been me but she wasnt sure.

i like my life now, but academics have to fit in. it's really 30:70 now, 30-academic work : 70-random stuff (and 30 is already an exaggeration). yet, perhaps this is supposed to be the way. haha.

o. according to a local med student: singapore is a country of malays, who apparently are generally buddhists.

11:29 p.m. - 2005-10-18



i spent 4 good hours on my essay this morning so i've just slept for 4 hrs. bad decision, considering tt i have a 9 - 6.30 day today. with a 1 hour lunch break. ONLY. oops. but i was happy doing the essay, like i usually am (but only bcos the examiner hasnt seen it and i'm proud of sth i've written. cos i keep telling myself my writing sucks. and cos it does o well its quite sad. hopefully, being in cambridge will somehow change tt...

which reminds me. what am i here for???

8:24 a.m. - 2005-10-18



din get into chamber choir, somewhat expected.

and today was a particularly bad day when i lost control of my temper. or had the temptation to. haha weird, atypical.

haha. essays essays essays.

7:52 p.m. - 2005-10-17



listening to news online (sg) makes me feel home sick. ahaha thought i wunt ever feel home sick. unless somehow stimulated.

anw. i ought to try immersing myself in the culture soon. i'm doing a pretty good job in getting to know the place i think but culture tt will still take some time.

1:32 a.m. - 2005-10-16



so i biked down to homerton today and had lunch with huixin and friend. then came back up to downing college to watch the final 10 minutes of frisbee, before heading off to the nearer tesco which is even bigger. and there were many other superstores (all the big brands like boots, argos, sports-world, B&Q). v v nice. and there was a nice sunset. i should start bringing my camera along.

it's fun, i dunno what i'd do without a bike.

but haha. school work beckons. sundays are not days of rest. they are for work! (saturdays as well actually. bleah)

6:19 p.m. - 2005-10-15



my first day of using my bike proper was quite fun. went to tesco's which was sth like 6km away (well. there's one that's 2km away but i went to the wrong one. oh well). tried ringing the church bell as well and i'm intending to commit to it. highly interesing if u can do it well.

i've to admit. i'm enjoying myself. so much tt i forgot, once again, to go for my supervision. erps. its scary, really, how my priorities are all wrong. going for dinner with the singaporeans and knowing tt i've to go back for punting at 8pm but not remembering that I've supervision at 7pm. fabulous. no harm done though, i'm getting along well with the supervisor.

i need to spend one day on pia-ing all my stuff. heh.

10:54 p.m. - 2005-10-14



my bike's up, for only 18.99 pounds. it was great fun playing with it (replacing punctured tires, getting myself a softer seat, etc)

there was matric dinner which was quite fun. 3 years is a long time to make friends actually. and errr yeah it was really quite comfortable. going punting at night tml (???).

i neeed to start working soon, b4 it bcums a habit. n suddenly, i think i neeeed to be another hk. getting sick of me sometimes.

12:22 a.m. - 2005-10-14



feeling a bit *bleah*.

9:23 p.m. - 2005-10-11



the one and only thing tt i've been so consistent in doing: being blur. haha. i conveniently assumed tt the supervision today was in queens' college, but it was not to be. department of zoology! flew there and luckily made it in time. *shakes head*

i might need slightly more difficult maths.

and i made dinner. pizza from sains'. decent, and cheap.

7:58 p.m. - 2005-10-11



haha quite a number of mathmo's at my place just now. yup. pretty nice ppl. and just made hot chocolate for the floor (i.e. olivia and me haha).

anw this morning saw me making an exciting bike ride back to homerton to return huixin's bike, and enjoy a delicious breakfast. haha. cell bio practical was fun with me trying to understand the microscope completely and seeing cytoplasmic streaming. but of cos as part of my continous effort to be blur i forgot to bring my labcoat and i had to run back and fro between my room and the lab in 10min.

i'm in uk!

7:52 p.m. - 2005-10-10



tonight was a pretty random night. gd dinner at chris' place even though i wasnt really feeling tt well. and i walked to homerton and cycled back. what else. nothing much actually. got the cheapest alberts for sheila (prices range from 39.99 to 50 pounds). tried doing some shopping at sains but ended up with nth. visited tianjiao!

it's been slightly more than 1 week. but it feels like ages. tt's gd.

more importantly, i need to get out of tourist mode / RJ mode... i need someone like honlyn to wake me up now, really.

11:30 p.m. - 2005-10-09



hm today was absolutely fun. lectures which started to bcum more interesting, then frisbee which was decently playable. refunding a purchase at argos, cooking dinner with audry/sheila. looking at olivia's photos and showing her mine (she's my german neighbour)

pity i'm sick. get well soon!

11:03 p.m. - 2005-10-08



i'm impossibly blur, i missed a supervision arrangement again. cos there were 4 other ppl in my room. lousy excuse.

actually starting to feel homesick, once the homework comes in. as expected

feeling like a hermit at times, wondering why the brits just love socializing so much (e.g. "Much goes on besides running: a big part of the Hare and Hounds is the social life. There are weekly pub gatherings allowing everyone to chill-out with a few tasty beverages. Many other social events are arranged throughout the year that are simply not to be missed.") bleah. even a running club. but yeah, what am i here for?

and falling sick. not yet though. recover! sleep!

7:26 p.m. - 2005-10-06



erps. my school term is going to last as long as the great singapore sale.

anyhow. bought flowers (finally).

4:58 p.m. - 2005-10-05



i'm pretty tired today prob cos i walked so much. and carried stuff. got many things today, finally. there's the shower gel and shampoo, the stacks of paper from sainsbury's, the mince pies, the pooh poster, the calculator (what on earth, now i've 3 calculators in my possession), a labcoat, a ceramic kitchenware set. and some society stuff. *nods*

alright funny feelings

11:46 p.m. - 2005-10-04



so after meeting the DoS and tutors, there was actually lots of time. went with olivia (german neighbour) around the town to try find bikes (and in so doing explored the town a bit more since the bike shops arent really in the town centre). got stuff from argos.

came back to college and was once again spectacularly late for the meeting with jiahui n michelle. sorry! thought it was 5.30 oops. went for decent hall dinner and speedy intro which was quite fun but din serve its purpose. simply impossible to rmb everyone's name. so a few of us retired to a medic's room and tt way we got to know each other better. it was nice to have them tell us abt british culture every now n then. great stuff.

8:30 a.m. - 2005-10-04



highly embarrassing stuff, and gave, as usual, a bad first impression. i was "spectacularly late" for the briefing by the directors of studies this morning and obviously they rmb me. but i apologized. and i'm not all tt blur :P

ppl ard me are pretty fun. current intention is to try to make non-international friends and never put on any accent. it can happen, really.

4:10 p.m. - 2005-10-03



bleah, it's one whole day of socializing plus fighting against time to know more ppl n shouting over the noise, understanding accents n figuring out why all the schedules/events clash. and bits of alcohol everywhere. tired!

all the same, i might b going out again later. har.

10:41 p.m. - 2005-10-01



just gotta blog. so yesterday there wasnt enough time. and i wasnt absolutely happy with my room (well, life's nvr fair). but somehow i'm really getting to like my room. one of the more important things in life: having the attitude to get to like cards dealt to u without having to force yourself to do so. and life'd be fine.

there was some xploration of the cambridge city centre yest with us trying to get our mobile phones and basic necessities (basic meaning exclusive of duvet/water filter haha). not quite settled in, still v much on tourist mode (yet not quite either, bcos when i'm a tourist i have objectives, i've to choose what's more impt and accomplish them b4 i leave the place) and bathing was traumatically cold. apart from tt there was still the apprehension in not knowing whether ppl will be nice. (+a comparatively lower efficiency in UK and how they referred me to and fro between 2 bank branches just to ATTEMPT to get my account settled - i have a debit card/cheque book but no PIN!?)

for today, we (singaporeans) went punting, which was quite fun to learn. v relaxing ride. and we ate both meals out with lots of waiting time in between. v unproductive day in singaporean terms. but it was good, cos i felt tt yes perhaps these 3 years here are gonna be sustainable with ppl who seem to be pretty much on the same frequency. we actually have the same reaction/comments to a stimulus! shall see how things go, but yeah it's a good start.

then i decided to use the bathroom upstairs and ended up meeting 2 other asians!! a korean and another hong konger. the korean girl received a call from her mother later so i kinda told the hong konger (who's been here for 2 years) abt singapore, and in the process tt confirmed tt fact tt i do have a double identity of being both a hong konger and a singaporean. there's no need to choose. but haha when meeting new ppl, be careful and dont be over enthusiastic.

so for now, singaporeans will stick together a bit more b4 school starts. a nice bunch of ppl.

11:00 p.m. - 2005-09-30



11:00 p.m. - 2005-09-30



ok i've arrived safely. pretty place, photos later. breakfast with audry soon, still highly unpacked. n messy. mmhm.

9:08 a.m. - 2005-09-30


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