hongking's Diaryland Diary



hello everyone happy new year. at sing yong's hse now. (chang mou was here as well and actually we're not tt different. but not tt similar either) glad i came here. nothing special actually, i mean it's just dice games, very little mahjong, books, comp games, but beyond these i also realized what my friendship with sing yong is like. i appreciate the way we might have nothing much in common (well actually more like i have nothing much in common with the rest of the world), and u know it's totally not awkward.

when i came last night i was bz writing some 27 SMSes, like what I would write in christmas cards... haha. yup so my phone sorta hanged. and i stupidly got off at paya lebar, and lost my way (cos of the construction works for the circle line). luckily i took a look at the map b4 leaving the station, made a guess, and kept to the direction. and i just walked and walked aimlessly knowing tt i shud reach here but not knowing how much further i had to walk. doesnt help tt i dunno the unit number either and i had to look at sy's shoes to confirm tt i'm pressing the right doorbell...

as i've said i've become very easy to satisfy, and i think it'd be perfect for me to enjoy this last school year. i dun think i'm consider uni as schooling...

11:21 a.m. - 2004-01-01



like it or not i've to face it. school's starting on monday (oops ok friday i mean) and i better get into the study mode quick.

so i shall disappear from the comp until school reopens.

i'm starting to get excited for the j1s for their orientation. if only we could go through it again...

10:49 p.m. - 2003-12-30



urgh. my entry just got deleted.

anyway. *yawns* was trying to read some notes but cant make it. *yawns*

so we learnt to audition ppl yesterday. and erm my guess is if i were the auditioner ppl in the 2nd round will all be reginald-standard. haha i shall learn to be less critical. after tt went to orchard on bus 7 with clar / conrad / mingze. culdnt watch movie / pool quite there were simply too many ppl. so we went our separate ways. i ended up at my barber, who was quite funny. he went "pls take off your binoculars". lol.

oh yes buses have interesting windows tt can act as mirrors. and what happens when u look at a mirror in a mirror (these 2 mirrors are not parallel to each other). interesting effects. so i started moving my head left-right for half my bus trip to school. and the person bhind me probably thought i am mad.

5:13 p.m. - 2003-12-30



just got home from jln seaview. i'm getting to know the east better. played piano with sunni/bena/sang. one hand per person. quite fun. and den i tried playing the pathetique which turned out quite pathetic but oh well it's a tough piece duh. was sweating by the end of it.

ok then there was pathetic bridge / uno / no mahjong. wasnt much of a party actually haha. but there was ok food, and erm small conversations. and erm xbox at the end. pretty enjoyable and relaxing - yes this is important. relaxing.

thanks to bena and sang for buying me a bag. haha at this rate everything i use is going to bought by the both of u.

11:43 p.m. - 2003-12-28



reached weili's hse. took 197 here. find the east very messy. yup. bena shud arive in 12 minutes time

3:33 p.m. - 2003-12-28



i've successfully gone through these 3 months (since e beginning of this page).

there was
the unexpected: bio o + lots of weird dreams + meeting ppl on the streets
things i put in much effort to do: all exams + squash / table tennis + fixing the comp actually haha
things i learnt: learn to learn (i.e. learn how to learn + learn for the sake of learning and not to be assessed), nver panick (esp during exams), work hard

anyway i reread the project work criticism tt guy (who wrote a whole page on the sg edu sys) made. and i choose to disagree over so many things now tt i've finished it. i strongly believe tt we managed to help each other, and know each other better, learnt to compromise. and the truth is, after i went to MOT, even teams in the corporate world might have members with incompatible character.

i'm a weird person who connects an event to the place it was held very strongly. anything at all. sapporo trip, internship, rmp, syf. the moment i go to tt place, i will start reminiscing the gd/bad times.

next yr will be short but i'll make it long. and i shall work hard for gp next yr.

the following still applies i think.
tt nobody wuld spoon-feed u, so u have to plan everything urself.
tt u cant have everything, so u have to make a choice.
tt u cant achieve without determination, so u have to motivate urself.
tt u can nver be the best, so u have to continue improving urself.
tt there is no limit, so u have to continue pushing urself.

12:56 p.m. - 2003-12-28



had some weird dream again, cant remember what it was though. sth to do with nver-ending work. and was i glad when i woke up and i realized i was going for the 3f (wait is it a xmas party? haha) party later... let's hope tt i at least enjoy it. shant have too high expectations

9:27 a.m. - 2003-12-28



omg i din know tt school is reopening tt soon. anyway.

i think i'd have liked to go for xmas fun, but unfortunately i nver knew abt it until it was coming to an end haha. i shud think tt it was rather interesting.

my internship was enriching. very well. and salvation army CIP tt i work so hard for, they were satisfying. gd hols this was, just tt i really really wish it were just one week longer. not really ready for a new year yet. a new school year in fact.

but i shall still try to get ready for the new year anyway. it's always good to start well.

in the year 2004. a confident hk shall maximize everything (esp time), and learn to respond not react (haha sorry fengzi)

10:36 p.m. - 2003-12-27



i havent seen my mum the way she was last night for such a long time. she likes kids yes she does. she simply loves playing with them. reminds me of myself when i was young. yup. and the friendship bet her and her classmate. tt was really amazing too.

esp for singapore: regulations are for guidance, they should not be the final destination that we should aim for.

ppl from hk and ppl from sg are really different. we're all chinese yes no doubt, but actually every thing else is different. i dare say sg ppl are more different from hk ppl than malays in malaysia. yup.

chia sensei appeared in my dream last night. she was telling me in a subtle way tt my jap really should be better than what it is now. scary.

pretty long day out. sent my faulty printer to the epson service centre (impressive service. they're going to deliver to it back to my hse in 2 days). then went ard city area with the hk friends who are here. (they really make me feel like i'm not in singapore. maybe it's the loudness of their/our voices) anyway we went to the museum at the central fire station (quite a bit to see), passed by parliament hse, boat quay, supreme court, etc. oh yes which reminds me, the hotel which they were in used the same lifts as the ones used in PSA building. really reminds me of my internship. ate at seoul garden.

saw xh and bao with their big box haha. asking for donation? haha i din feel like donating and they din seem like they were ready anyway. saw some o team ppl as well i think.

5:38 p.m. - 2003-12-27



went to seng kang. dun really like tt whole place. feels very planned, and the roads all seem very small, just enough to cater to the residents. not my idea of a nice estate to live in. lrt seems quieter and faster. the smaller size also helps i guess to increase frequency? but again i still prefer the btk panjang one though. haha i dun like new surroundings huh.

anyway it's amazing how the shopping centres can change their decorations from christmas to chinese new year overnight...

9:32 p.m. - 2003-12-26



left hse 11+, had squash n table tennis. towards e end serene n i were counting elements. tiring. din haf lunch. so made salad just now. not much of a salad actually just an apple, a pear (diced) and den some jap salad sauce. nvm as long as i'm satisfied. ok then cooked another 2 more packets of instant noodles. yup. now quite full.

3:48 p.m. - 2003-12-26



sad to see parents aging. i'm not providing them sufficient support as their son i think. and equally sad to see their friends aging as well.

i'm who i am partially bcos i'm the only child. and i'm totally grateful for tt. i'd like to thank my parents for bringing me up (as though they'll ever read this). i dunno y i'm saying all this but yar i just suddenly feel like i ought to express my appreciation.

11:23 p.m. - 2003-12-25



yummed cha with hk friends. and after tt there was mahjong. i watched the ppl and play. it was eye-opening. and the women were really powerful. so much smarter in mahjong than anything else.

singapore's chinese newspapers are really pretty lousy. many articles are simply translations from english articles (or at least i hope. if the writers really write this way, i've nothing to say).

i just wonder why so many queer things happen in taiwan. go watch the news and u'll know what i mean. do suggest a reason.

saw shawn at cck ntuc. interesting to be meeting so many ppl.

8:49 p.m. - 2003-12-25



wasnt home for some 26 hours i think. left hse at 5+pm 23rd for the choir chalet. had a nice one hour cycling trip ard pasir ris (park & estate). good tt i can still balance well. butt hurt quite badly for a while though. after tt was dinner at bk, where i ate tonnes again. had a long long chat with wilfred, kawa, sing yong, thomas. well more like listening to their chat cos i din really say much. cos they were mostly talking abt the prague trip, or at least their prague trips, cos wilfred went for the first one. (other stuff were more funny stuff like kawa trying to TRACE where his hand is after he wakes up). and yay i've learnt not to feel left out. yay. well done hk. i mean yar i've learnt to let the past be the past. but tt doesnt mean covering up and forgetting the past. no no tt's the worst thing tt anyone can ever do.

anyway the chat was significant in another way. to realize how innocent i am, or perhaps how innocent 3f is. or perhaps how innocent we seem. i culdnt really believe tt there i was hearing them talk abt porn.

the rest of the chalet experience wasnt extraordinarily interesting. throwing dice (once the spinning die got stuck in some sticky substance on the table and was suspended in tt interesting erm position), playing cards / mahjong. just killing time. but i must say i enjoyed myself. i think i enjoy myself more easily nowadays. so much easier to satisfy. y? dunno.

started sleeping at ard 6.50am 24th, woke up 9.30. went to somerset to start the 7 hours salvation army kettling. was i tired. i needed rest. i actually needed food. but i was really high when the money really started to come in, and when the pot got so full tt notes not-put-in-properly pop out. but got a slight headache and a small sore throat. try saying the same few sentences for 7 hours with just 1 big gulp to keep ur throat moist.

met many ppl again. really orchard's simply amazing. at this rate i'm really going to camp at orchard every week to see ppl whom i dun usu even expect to see. ok let's see who it was this time. gerard! yup from RaffesVoices. the odac 18 ppl, some of whom i culdnt really recognize, and some of them culdnt recognize me either possibly cos of my hair (speaking of which wilfred and company culdnt recognize me from far either). then there was weizhen (pri sch). and the person-who-takes-75-whose-name-i'm-not-sure-of.

took a cab back with teacher pava (if tt's how u spell her name). while queuing for the cab i asked her abt why she's now teaching at the daycare centre. then interestingly i decided to ask her abt major indian festivals, and as a singaporean living in a multicultural society, (and am i ashamed to say this) this is the first time tt i actually asked. my conclusion was this. just like the chinese, basically the importance of festivals are screwed up in singapore. apparently their new year is in april, they have a harvesting festival in jan, and these are all major major festivals, which most Singaporean Chinese are probably ignorant of. then she continued to ask me whether i had friends of other races, and i culd only think of sya and nita (well i wrote christmas cards to both of them so i'd consider them friends. i guess it's interesting when they're not close friends yet i want to write a christmas card to them. ok too far a digression.) eventually she was like "give me ur address so i can invite you to my wedding next year" (imagine the shock i got. i mean i dun even know her. this is like my first conversation with her). but still this was real cool cos this is my first attempt at interaction with a non-school non-chinese.

ok came back and had dinner at aunty lily's hse. this small little girl there (until now i cant figure who she is. she's uncle jacob's brother's daughter i think but somehow she became ashley's niece so i'm not sure.) started laffing and sticking to me once i entered the house (?!?!???) and yar only me. and i'm simply too tired to entertain her. and even if i werent tired i dun really like children any more. as in yar cant be bothered to entertain them nowadays even if i had lots of energy. as though i have lots of other things to do. dunno what is wrong with me. anyway it was really interesting cos nobody culd figure out why she likes me tt much. and she sorta din want me to leave. and i was just thinking "whatever" cos i really wanted to leave. to erm sleep (yar right. reached home b4 10 look at the time now spent one whole hour blogging)

oh yes i've received 10 xmas cards so far. thanks so much everyone for well returning the cards. in a way. all but 3 were return-cards.

9:56 p.m. - 2003-12-24



somehow i suddenly realized / remembered the existence of the tansistas blog and erm bao rong's as well. it's been a few months. it seems tt i've forgotten abt many things, or rather i've been concentrating on only a few things recently, and i seem to be changing. well neither for the better or the worse, it's just me getting so bz tt i'm really just looking at what's coming next and not even bothering to look back at all. i'm just being a machine involved in the every day operations of a jc student. or rather, i wunt really say i'm a typical jc student. more like the every day operations of a bz hk.

and this isnt (going to be) the only time this has (will) happened. i guess i need to pause every now and then to just think abt what i'm doing. yes i might be enjoying the present (read tt book - the present - written by the guy who wrote "who moved my cheese") but tt possibly isnt enuff.

11:20 p.m. - 2003-12-22



dream from last last night: of myself being arrogant and offending ppl.
dream from last night: teeth at the right side of my upper jaw all dropped out (scary ok... was like trying to put the teeth back in but somehow they din fit. and interestingly the radio channel which i heard during the dream was what my ears were really hearing - cos my parents were already awake)

11:11 p.m. - 2003-12-22



i think it's time to stop believing tt 3f is good. (no harm done doing tt isnt it) tt is the only safe way to prevent me / us from not improving. now i understand what is arrogance. now i understand why venice fell.

weird why i suddenly thought of this but yar. very important.

9:51 p.m. - 2003-12-22



ok another salvation army day. erm quite a heavy kettle again, gd job hk and serene! and erm yar sweets ran out again sigh. met lucas on his way to chalet, gordon, and a few rj ppl whose faces i know.

2 more xmas cards today. received tt is. though i intended to send 2 out as well. but forgot to bring them out.

6:54 p.m. - 2003-12-22



erm. played squash, table tennis, piano today. and well am trying to do internship report.

11:45 p.m. - 2003-12-21



kettling from 11.30 till 8.30, am not very tired. my eyes are dry though, and red too. ate a very ex lunch, another duck-chicken-charsiew combo with hor fun. hm quite nice though it was $7. (!!!!) and erm had some nice sweets from ros from london. quite irritating tt it was raining, and we had to move every now and then. but of cos tt was interesting. conclusion: pavement at crossing is the best place.

orchard rd's a really gd place to meet ppl. pity i dun go there often. next time if i ever go there it's probably cos i wanna meet ppl i havent met in ages. no other reasons haha. ok let's see. met this hk family whom i havent met since i think 3 years ago. and haha who generously decided to donate $10 (perhaps considering the few years tt they havent given me hong bao for. lol). ok and jia han and jia yao (again) and eddison and ho chuan (RV). and clara caught red handed (oops). and den when i got on 171 (like why on earth wuld i even take it) i met raphael and family, had a nice enough chat to know just tt bit more abt him. found out tt actually really i know so many ppl in 3c. -the girls though.

10:00 p.m. - 2003-12-20



oh yes the other thing i forgot to say abt my xmas cards. i put my heart into selecting each card for each person. i.e. u got the card probably bcos i thought u'd like it, or somehow it's like u. and most matched except a few which were, in my opinion, really too ugly, but why u got them is also cos i know u probably dun care abt the design. so it was a fun experience.

9:59 a.m. - 2003-12-20



and oh yes dunno if i shud retake SAT. sigh. what a terrible verbal score. must be my critical reading. either tt. or my exam strategy. cos i filled up every single oval.

8:51 a.m. - 2003-12-20



lunch was on doreen. and i started taking photos. erm and yar in the end din finish my parking report. 4+ and i started packing up. it was indeed sad to leave MOT, but i guess the excitement and activity tt followed drowned my sadness. took 51, found my way to the pool table as well as bbq pit. enjoyed myself, without having to talk to everyone. cooking was nice. i just liked the way i enjoyed myself tonight. cos usually i feel some sort of sadness when i feel lonely. but not today =).

got fetched to my bus stop, but since the bus wasnt here i decided to walk. total of 7 bus stops. nice and relaxing while singing. was in the right mood. good.

actually. my stomach's growling. ate 2 chicken wings, some stingray and some squid. erm haha as i was saying no carbos. hm. but nvm shall eat tml.

12:40 a.m. - 2003-12-20



hm. last day here. supposed to have fire drill but it din happen. but anyway ppl were running away even b4 the bell was supposed to ring. and i missed my chance of going down 39 floors. sad. slacking ard now haha. work work work? neh. more like prepare to clear up and everything. long day ahead, i shall make myself useful.

i will feel sad leaving this place... :(

11:08 a.m. - 2003-12-19



most important thing to learn from this internship (apart from understanding how the govmt works and looking at things from their viewpoint) is to recognize that my strength is my weakness. i dare to articulate my views, and i'm confident when doing so. But i've to be more sensitive, to consider the possible repercussions, esp when it involves the real world. i've attempted attempting apparently.

actually it's not just my wanting to express my opinions. applies to the making of any statement in fact. if ur words are heard by some authority, u better make sure everything passes through ur brain b4 u utter a word. really. it's time to learn this lesson. dun actually want to bring this up, but yar it's sth like ying heng's case with ms lee. harmless words tt really have much repercussions. and i hope i learn my lesson this time. yes hk pls remember.

8:58 p.m. - 2003-12-18



well it's been a good day. had lunch with ms heng at great world city (oops another close-to-3-hour lunch break) and talked abt stuff... nice lunch. took different buses back so my whole trip looked sth like a big loop hm. then got back, talked to joan (ass director/land) a bit abt jap, then it was james (director/land) after tt. interesting talk (supposed to be an interview. had qns to guide but in the end i figured those werent really too useful) tt sorta gave me advice on what i should study / do in the future. and some stray observations here and there tt we discussed. then yup took group foto and my dear camera ran out of battery... shucks. so i shall be leaving soon.

report yet to be finished but i guess it cant be finished. i've done one report already havent i. and erm. was reading xq's blog just now. so envious. one day i must go backpacking. haha.

6:16 p.m. - 2003-12-18



posted the remaining 5 cards today. morning wasnt very productive as usual, but decided productivity shall rise after lunch which was supposed to be a take-away one. but well i ended up eating delifrance at harbourfront with 5 other MOT ppl. interesting to see how these 5 ladies talked abt their other friends at MOT (lol). and they were deciding what to buy for their christmas potluck as well (hm pity i wunt b ard... i feel like i'm part of the family already haha)

anyway tried to get my report in shape so tt at least i can submit to doreen. looked quite ok i think. worked OT till ard 6.45, sorta finished what i've been doing for the past few days (translating jap stuff), still have london to do tml... and an interview... sigh bz.

10:34 p.m. - 2003-12-17



today was a long day. erm yar bought 15 christmas cards and wrote 10 of them. i just wonder how ppl last through like tens of them. i'm getting sian already. like some i realize i might not have enough to say. anyway. still. it was quite satisfying. quite a lot of things which i wanted to say were said. so tt's gd.

anyway the whole division was gone again haha jaclyn took half-day leave. so erm yar it was lots of christmas cards while writing report. was eating lunch as well meanwhile. left office at 7, and doreen told me with a terribly shocked look "why're u still here? it's ur holidays!" see! she's so kind haha. and as usual i din bluff her, i told her i was writing christmas cards haha.

oh yes and ms chee said. we raised $1080 on saturday!! gd job!!!! yay!~

7:39 p.m. - 2003-12-16



I'm a vehement opponent of exams and homework.

No exams or homework = Nothing learnt? perhaps not. bcos if u're really interested in sth u'd want to continue learning it. u want to learn sth? immersion is the way. to just put urself into it. to "breathe, eat, sleep" it. it's the same for everything, regardless of whether it's a language, a science, or an art. to me it really works.

any compulsory assessment (assignment / test) after learning sth immediately puts you off. why? the most important thing to remember is: u're not learning to be assessed. u're learning bcos u want to. and the assessment is really just to let u know if ur learning has worked. (and tt's y sometimes, in my opinion, learning in school can get so irritating: saying "this isnt in the syllabus" or simply targetting how to answer questions. true, the skill of answering qns is impt. but isnt it a pity if all we learn in school is to tackle the 'a' levels?)

personal experience tells me tt learning freely is sth we ought to aim for. yes the progress might be slower, but u enjoy every second of it. and tt simply means u enjoy urself more.

9:20 p.m. - 2003-12-15



quite a nice day i shud say. read the newspapers till 9am. started work. and of cos some emailing. then left at 12 for lunch with serene still at harbour front. lunch itself wasnt exciting. i was complaining of the inflexibility of the stall i bought from. ah but the ice cream from macs. tt was great. started talking abt ppl whom we both know. was pretty fun. quite a few laughs. result? reach office at 3pm. which i later confessed to my supervisor so i left at 6+ haha. she's kind. and told the air director tt i probably wunt have time for the budget airline landing rights research cos suddenly i struck gold for the parking research so i'll need quite some time to process all the new raw info. and tt shud probably mark the end of the internship. looking forward to producing another nice report. yay :D

the internship i realized did in a way brain-wash me. now actually tt's a really bad word to use. rephrase: i've learnt to think from a government's point of view. whatever policy u make would be for the benefit of the masses, and is unlikely to satisfy everyone fully. and so as citizens we shud understand tt and be willing to make small sacrifices. anyway i'm glad tt this internship also let me know theresa (well i cant say better can i haha), christelle and serene better.

7:03 p.m. - 2003-12-15



early morning cip was satisfying despite a one-hour wait for the briefing (as usual. inevitable delays for such huge events). anyway prob cos this is the first time i'm collecting money in tins i was quite satisfied with a more-than-half-full tin in 3 hours. anyway cip for 3 days can get quite tiring.

saw suffian at city hall mrt haha. like just after i met him on the bus a few wks back.
looking at band ppl made me wonder why chorale is what we are. we're special. special in tt segregation is relatively bad.
ever wondered why the mrt is so stable? cos they accelerate the train only when absolutely necessary, and tt's usually only once at the beginning of the whole trip bet 2 stations (for the stations in the city. for trips outside like between yio chu kang and khatib tt's a different story)

wyf meeting. we're really quite special. like all 6 of us are different yet we're together as a grp. let's hope we can meet next june or sth (is tt too pessimistic haha)

5:16 p.m. - 2003-12-14



long day. kettling from 11 to 6. not as tiring as i expected it to be, cos ms chee sorta made it sound very tiring. or maybe ee sang as well. attempted singing carols earlier in the day but oh well doesnt seem to work. must ask ppl to donate. "would u like to make a donation?" "please donate to the salvation army" were the two most common phrases i used... my throat's not only dry actually, it's sort of sore. gave a smile everytime, said thankyou and have a nice day as well. i hope tt was the reason why most of them smiled back at me. some seemed to be in a bad mood at first... anyway all the "thankyous" and "nice days" were really sincere, and it's nice to feel so sincere throughout the day...

haha anyway singapore's small right so i met the following ppl: mrs d cruz. lily koh (MOT). these 2 ppl from hk who were trying to find their way. and finally this jap family whom i surprised after i said "ikura demo ii desu yo".

lunch was interesting cos of the mirror, could look into other's faces without having this feeling making u turn away. less intense i guess.

6:57 p.m. - 2003-12-13



somehow my 963 brought me to woodlands after work. and erm had metro cip with clar/dick&co (with no cip hours. first time in my life doing true volunteer work). ppl do one of the following: 1. ignore u (TOTALLY - what a shame to singaporeans) 2. dun look at u and raise their hand pushing u away 3. look at u and well basically look at u 4. look at u and raise their hands 5. smile 6. smile and "no thanks"
interesting quotes:
"i come here everyday" "i lost my daughter" "i lost my mum" "i donated already - pointing to the 3rd floor instead of the 1st" "ta men hen ke lian leh, donate lar - i thought she was referring to us" "i'm afraid if i donate $10 only $1 will go to the kids. cos last time when i did i got paid. are u sure u're not paid?"

11:43 p.m. - 2003-12-12



went out for the press briefing for the circle line. quite interesting seeing all the journalists and cameraman. i mean yar they're a totally different grp of ppl from what i c at MOT. oh and i surprised them by asking a qn: how to divert the road at holland rd if there's no space. i wasnt exactly answered haha.

anyway came back and chang mou told me over msn tt i got silver. (yay!) no tears yet but hey first time getting into this type of competition and haha yay! ok shall shut up b4 ppl start beating me up...

3:55 p.m. - 2003-12-12



whoever says singapore has no seasons (tt sounds like me months ago) is an idiot. it gets freaking cold nowadays...

after going on another round of blog-surfing. i decided. i am hong king. and i'm proud to be one. i've always wondered whether i ought to conform to norms. obviously i havent been conforming. but i realized i dun have to. bcos there's no such thing as "norms". or well as far as i'm concerned as long as the "norms" isnt everyone else.

10:45 p.m. - 2003-12-11



i guess blogs are interesting things to find out more abt what's happening to ppl. seems like the whole world is cip-ing away. anyway my tagboard seems to receive very little contributers. esp chorale ppl it's almost as though my cca isnt chorale. (anything to do with the size? i hope not... maybe it's to do with the traffic..) anyway haha. dear director of air just came in again (he came in just now as well when i was blog surfing) to encourage me to take up my next project: weigh the pros and cons of a budget airline. well actually more pros than cons haha.

5:50 p.m. - 2003-12-11



today was pretty fun... had lunch at the food court (ok tt's the unfortunate part). then came back up, had a birthday celebration, started talking to more ppl to find out tt 2 ppl actually know japanese here. and in fact weiling took leave to study for jlpt! one whole week! just like christelle's colleague! haha and she did level 2 as well. anyway then there's joan (AD/land) who studied econs in a jap u! even more exciting. whats more she was from the same batch as tan sensei!

tt aside i also sat in for a meeting discussing the contents of this corporate book which they're gonna publish for visitors to keep as a souvenir. and well discussion was pretty much like pw *shudders* (yet face it. life's just like pw. *shudders again*) and yar each person has their own views and u can nver really satisfy everyone. one thing i dun like is how in the working world u tend to divide things up. for example. this book thingie. all they have to do is to do the writeup. the format and everything else another department will do it. it might be the most efficient way, yet i feel there's this overall lack of team work. but i guess tt's how it works. u cant expect everyone to be at the same meeting. cant get anywhere. just like how pairs are better than groups of 5 during pw lol.

4:56 p.m. - 2003-12-11



i realized tt i wasted more or less the whole of today. and tt will not happen again. i'll get sth for myself to do, i'll do another report. sounds mad huh. yes.

anyway there were so many low clouds and so my window white-out (as opposed to blackout?) quite a few times. it's really cool, as though u're in a plane. cant see anything except really really nearby low stuff. (cos tt's where there arent clouds. duh) yar and basically some buildings next to mine were producing clouds. well. first time i've ever seen sth like tt. it's not smoke i'm sure. it's a production line for clouds. damn cool. u just see it rising and then moving with the big one.

on the way back on the bus i had a dream. cant remember what it was abt, but it was sth like soma... anyway i dun really understand the book now. a bit blur. haha.

was watching tv just now. was so touched by the scene tt there were tears in my eyes. din cry of cos. basically. "a" wants to learn (to sing?) opera, but cos "a"'s dad wants "a" to inherit his business, he had nver allowed "a" to do so (on various occassions). "a" went to look for a teacher, who repeatedly refused to accept him as a disciple. "a" then did stunts to the extent tt he got injured badly, evincing his strong desire to learn. "a" refused to stop, so "a"'s dad decided to beg the teacher. and when the teacher finally decided to accept "a", "a" decided not to learn opera but instead stay to help with his dad's business. (argh forget it. terrible english)

8:56 p.m. - 2003-12-10



scanned through the whole page, and feel tt i changed slightly. not very much. much of what has happened is still very vivid in my mind, possibly cos all entries were succinct so those were the main events which even my dory memory can remember.

the internship: i guess i think more from the "gahment" point of view. i understand things as a policy-maker.

i must love my job. extrapolation is quite interesting too. try extrapolating anything in this world.

major events: computer. pw. car. academics.

rj is full of leaders. but leaders must learn to listen to other leaders. and actually. there ought not be too many leaders at one time. it's relative. (thought of this bcos of open hse)

i still think this is true: i think i'm a very boring person when i'm not funny. when i know tt my jokes will not be appreciated i wunt say them (such as with 4p), and when tt happens i feel small and boring. (in fact just now while scanning through i laughed at my own jokes)

finally. motto for next yr. unless i can come up with sth better. or unless i achieve it by this yr (quite hard). when stimulated suddenly, DON'T REACT. RESPOND.

10:37 p.m. - 2003-12-09



feel like i've picked up some survival skills through rj.
tt nobody wuld spoon-feed u, so u have to plan everything urself.
tt u cant have everything, so u have to make a choice.
tt u cant achieve without determination, so u have to motivate urself.
tt u can nver be the best, so u have to continue improving urself.
tt there is no limit, so u have to continue pushing urself.
tt learning has to be learnt.

9:25 p.m. - 2003-12-09



still harbourfront today, lunch with christelle. coincidentally we met MOT ppl + theresa. like the table next to us. anyway today was unproductive. din even read my book. the most exciting thing i did was take 2 short naps using my jacket as a pillow as well as make a cup of milo for myself (i dunno if i'm allowed to use it actually)

6:29 p.m. - 2003-12-09



i must say tt it's quite scary. either there's a workaholic at national computer board (or any other ministry for tt matter), or the computer does screening of the sites the employees visit every day. the way they just visited my blog just half an hour ago makes me feel like my privacy is really being intruded into.

10:25 p.m. - 2003-12-08



was discussing with adrian (person who sits next to me) abt the bp lrt, and i'm really happy for singapore tt there will no longer be any more light rail systems. thank ford.

5:39 p.m. - 2003-12-08



just went for lunch with serene. went out abt 2 hours ago. trip to harbourfront took 13 min (from the moment i stepped into lift till i reached the mrt control station) trip back took 9 min (from the moment i stepped onto the bus till i reached my table) haha anyway. a very sumptuous lunch, very expensive too. cos i ate han's set lunch + an ice cream from dairy queen. VERY FULL NOW. haha anyway. i've work on my desk. so i shall go do it. what a good boy hk is :) (expiating his extra-long absence from the office)

1:57 p.m. - 2003-12-08



i've been reading brave new world since 8.30 haha. official legal authorized break. anyway. think so far after reading 50 pages i've come to realize how beautiful our world really is. must appreciate it more.

haha yar. poor hk. this is his what 2nd book this year? after the brethren which i din exactly find very good. well actually the school library records says sth like 8 books probably. 2 for GP, 3 for PW, 2 for Jap, 1 unsuccessful attempt to start reading (this book written by a black abt discrimination.)... shall blame it on the school library haha. usu nver read more than a chapter. but so anyway this time i went to the library and i borrowed 2 more books lets hope i will read them haha. actually as long as i'm interested i guess i will...

9:47 a.m. - 2003-12-08



i was thinking and thinking and couldnt remember what else i deserve a break for. and then suddenly recalled: finished the critic on the bus standards! haha yay. and finished sat! yay. concert over! yay! jlpt too! yay! (wish i culd add: internship over! yay!)

10:40 p.m. - 2003-12-07



reality just hit me. tt i've to go to work tml. was thinking tt i deserved a break but haha nope wunt get any. poor hk. oh well. tt's life.

8:55 p.m. - 2003-12-07



jlpt. met ms debbie tan there. erm. nice classrooms. and hopefully i had quite a bit of luck. at first it was still ok but it got worse. had 20 minutes for 8 passages (compre). powerful hey, luckily i managed to scan through otherwise i wuldnt have been able to finish. but the grammar. haha. luck. it's a bit sad cos this is really the last official contact i'll have with the japanese language. yup. but i shall strive to continue using it in class, and communicate with my host mother as well...

realized tt i'm waiting for quite a number of results now, taken in this order (dunno abt the order of result release though): bio o, jap ao, sat, jlpt... yup. so perhaps i'll be depressed or perhaps i'll be happy. or perhaps it'd average out. who knows.

7:24 p.m. - 2003-12-07



sat was disastrous for me cos of the critical reading. wonder how i'll do. quite happy though cos my mugging for the words did pay off. and maths was quite ok. but anyway what is more "memorable" is homeostasis in action: hk shivers in the cold uncontrollably. i was still shivering even after i came out for 10 min. tt was how bad it was. anyway yup after tt there was lunch at burger king but haha basically i din utter a single word. was just eating my huge chicken whopper. went back for combined. then rv alumni (took mr toh's car at my request. ended up being sitted on by the baby seat) basically yup tt's it. quite proud of myself cos i din really have stage fright during riu riu chiu. overall i guess the concert was ok...? was pretty satisfied with deck the hall if not for the fact tt it seemed really rushed. but i really felt happy when the audience started laffing. the rest... oh well i wonder. pretty normal standard. perhaps ME. not EE definitely. last song was especially bad but i guess nobody cared.

11:11 p.m. - 2003-12-06



just had lunch with some ppl. (as u can see 1.45 is the time now. which is the end of lunch break. haha they are quite accurate in their timing yar) erm. Assistant directors (2/3 from land div, 1 from sea div, 1 from air div - convert from CAAS --> asked her abt setting up a library in changi airport haha she said not feasible cos non-aviation revenue is really getting higher and higher). they were tokking abt the A380, and later when they realized i was bored (or perhaps they ran out of things to say haha) they started asking me abt which ri teachers were still ard, so on... well. perhaps i'll join the civil service. get to experience quite a lot of things, every 2 to 3 years u get posted elsewhere where u can do sth else again. at least not so boring yar... actually do i want to be a specialist or a generalist? oh well dunno... shall take time to decide

1:45 p.m. - 2003-12-05



i culdnt help but say "oh my goodness" when this bird which i was looking at flew into the bus. an air-con bus. i.e. bump into the bus. such a loud sound, but seems like it still managed to fly away...

8:42 a.m. - 2003-12-05



as i was telling clar just now i found today's prac not very satisfying. but actually now tt i think abt it it was quite gd lar. considering i did try to sing well. totally switched-on throughout. tt i realized only after hearing our prac on reginald's md. sounded quite (shud i say good?) compared to what we really sounded like. sectionals remained fun with all our jokes here and there (i just wonder if i'm distracting the section too much - sorry if i am. i shall stop doing so).

as for comm meeting. well i wasnt very happy cos basically i feel so different. not my fault right. but yar. stuff like "fun songs". i dunno i think the idea of a choir is not to sing so many "fun songs", but it seems like everyone thinks so so all i can say is whatever. and having fun songs interspersed between our normal songs aint gonna help either. it's not treating the problem at its root. merely treating the symptoms. if we want to be pro we must love singing our songs. the idea isnt to be happy during the fun song, be bored during the usual song, and be happy again during the next fun song, and say tt on average u're happy. we're not going to get anywhere tt way. next issue being the positioning of the sectionals. well i'm not very sure what the final stand was but i strongly believe in having sectionals after combined. all these about "it's human nature tt people turn off after combined" is rubbish (i'm not zhen1 dui4ing anybody.). i'm most certain tt just 15 minutes would suffice. just 15 minutes to make sure everything tt happened during the combined gets drilled into our brain. to say tt sectionals b4 combined is necessary bcos "ppl will forget after a few days" does seem right but isnt tt sth we shudnt do. i mean. we cant just keep saying tt "we will shut off" or "we will forget" and thus continue with our inefficient ways. something has to be done. bcos with the singers we have, really i think we can achieve lots but are we doing so now? maybe sometimes. but we can definitely try harder. there's room for improvement.

and if u read this and u say who are u to say this, well it's just my opinion. y din i want to voice it during the meeting? well. obviously tt isnt a very wise thing to do.

8:11 p.m. - 2003-12-04



i feel very "glad-to-be-of-service-to-you" suddenly. i realized it can keep me in a good mood.... i mean the other time when i fell into depression (cant remember y either) my piano grades pulled me out of it. but i cant be having great news all the time. serve hk serve... :) brings joy :):)

8:04 p.m. - 2003-12-04



my goodness what a queer dream. somehow i went somewhere and i caught a small little fish. put it into a fish tank and well it started growing bigger (in a matter of minutes) and it started giving birth to live fish. there were 2 of them at first. budden later it bcame a dog and was giving birth to puppies (total of 12 altogether) in a room where u find new babies (like u know with the big glass window and everyone is arranged neatly inside on trolley/trays) and yar my piano was inside tt room, with cover not closed...

7:31 a.m. - 2003-12-04



actually it turned out much better than i thought it wuld be. anyway. must say this. this is a 9 - 5.30 job but it ends up being a 7.30 - 7 job. as in like waking up etc until reach home. so next time when u work better choose somewhere as near as possible.

10:13 p.m. - 2003-12-03



update: rather boring at MOT but yar later in the day got to tok to quite a number of ppl so it's ok. so i shud know everybody by the end of this wk. as in on this side of 39th floor. though i know none of their names and they know mine. oh well. tt's only natural. and some emailing haha. good hk. no sat today. cos he was really doing the report which ended up some 1400 words long. not bad... (just tt it's totally in point form haha - it's not anything like a report) but anyway it's just a draft, wuld have to do a survey and perhaps compare with other countries. yeah. pw does help i guesss. i'm serious.

today was healthy day at MOT so we all got an apple each to eat. yup.

9:54 p.m. - 2003-12-03



chorale blog is working again!!!!!!! i've moved it to chorale.blogspot.com temporarily in case anyone needs to salvage the old template. erm chorale ppl pls spread the word.

12:08 a.m. - 2003-12-03



internship was quite ok today, apart from a more or less wasted afternoon. guess i can actually do the stuff at home. but ppl are nice so tt's fine. practically everyone there recognizes me but i dunt recognize them of cos and can only smile.

haha some more interesting search keywords tt led ppl to my page:
what is the formula of psle results of year 2003
christmas carol powerpoints
science lessons powerpoints singapore
case study KitKat
ezlink singapore how does it work

7:05 p.m. - 2003-12-02



not in a gd mood cos of a few things. i decided tt the most important cause was the low turnout for the salvation army briefing this afternoon. 5 out of 18. what can be better?? being the coordinator yet not being able to be there. sigh. i feel some sort of guilt though i myself probably din do anything wrong. i dunno.

as i said i was lost right in the morning, but i guess i shall just ask more tml and tt shud be fine. my mouth needs to open more.

finally sat is coming and i really better get mugging.

8:32 p.m. - 2003-12-01



cant believe tt it's already december. no hols left. anyway. adapted quite quickly and am getting quite used to it. very well. let's hope i finish my project quickly and do more. meanwhile there's my scientific report to do, and homework. haha of cos SAT now. such a sucky life.

7:56 p.m. - 2003-12-01



as usual. i'm lost. first day at attachment / research and i'm always lost. WITHOUT fail. haha just doesnt feel good. but i shall make it good this time!! haha. anyway just now had this hari raya lunch where i saw the transport minister yeo cheow tong. and of cos other ppl. and b4 tt there was the meeting of i guess everyone in the ministry up till the perm sec. + handshakes and "join us for the lunch later" or "enjoy your stay here" or "oh dunneed to wear sch uniform lar" or " " (silence). haha yup. interesting.

1:58 p.m. - 2003-12-01



at 39th floor of PSA building now, waiting for instructions. they gave me this big pack of stationery haha. and i'm not supposed to utter a single word abt what i'm doing. or at least. the contents. naughty hk again. always blogging whether it is research attachment or internship at ministries (for all u know someone is looking at this at this very moment as i'm typing it. *shudders at the thought*)

10:11 a.m. - 2003-12-01



ended up in sentosa haha wasting the day away. at least the musical fountain was gd... i must say the company has put in much effort to beautify the place. but otherwise still nothing much to do there...

10:31 p.m. - 2003-11-30



suddenly came to my mind tt there are a few ppl whom i admire (for their abilities which i believe i'll nver be able to acquire throughout my life no matter how hard i try.)

ru min - thoughts and statements made abt issues always seem/are pithy.
wui ming - musical talent (need i even say this). esp his ability to improvise. well his playing is nice of cos but i really admire his improvisability.
reginald/krishna - not fully. but still. cant help but want to listen more. talents i guess.

ok lar just the chorale ppl for the moment. there are those erm council ppl as well but i dun really know them well so forget it haha.

11:49 p.m. - 2003-11-29



forgot to say tt sectionals are getting funnier. laughing at so many things. like. "toh christmas festival" the keyboard laughing, and erm "what sweeter music"

10:28 p.m. - 2003-11-29



chorale was really great cos the seniors were back. it really feels more complete. i dunno if i will like the new batch but i hope i will :). anyway i tried to make music today. haha as in yar make the effort to enjoy what we produced. oh well i hope pracs will get better!

had a nice afternoon / night out just tt well now i feel small. yar really small. just feel small. (betokens -haha wrong usage but heck - my limited vocab)

10:06 p.m. - 2003-11-29



singapore really believes in categorizing her ppl i guess. everything nowadays encourages "streaming". many many policies. esp educational ones. like the new psle-select-sec-school-only-after-knowing-results. purpose is to let ppl make safer choices, no doubt this is good. but as a side effect it also causes schools to have an intake of ard at most 10 points above its cut-off, and potentially pushing the cut-off for the top few schools even higher.

5:32 p.m. - 2003-11-28



i declare myself a true technician. can install a computer totally. first was getting the motherboard from intel in this really huge box. then put everything back in place (ok not tt hard lar hor, just the reverse of what i did a few days back). but still. it's quite an experience. then had to reinstall windows twice bcos i kept screwing up the hard disk. but now it's done!!! a v happy and satisfied hk.

anyway forgot to say yesterday: very inspired by three of my relatives. 1. to play violin. 2. to run/exercise more. 3. to do cip at old folk's home next yr.

11:02 p.m. - 2003-11-27



hey everyone i'm back. as in to the blog. not in singapore. still in hk now actually...

been thinking a lot since i came back, it seems tt i've really bcum more mature compared to the last time i came back (2 years ago)... basically, i have observed all the differences between hong kong and singapore and have made judgements abt what i like abt each place, as well as felt the feeling of having relatives around u... it's really rediscovering hk (both kong and king). makes me wonder whether hk is my real home.

briefly i like hk for its maximizing of everything, and actually most importantly the pace (sg girl pace = hk elderly pace), the risk taking. and hk also has wonderful geological features tt u cant hope to find in singapore for another 5 million years. and more dynamic too. live seafood all ard, markets open at night, streets at night lit so bright as though it's daytime. ppl fishing as long as there's a sea. and yes more exciting weather!!!

hk is also much nearer a gracious society than sg is. erm though there are still totally unreasonable ppl ard (like this woman at the post office who scolded this person in front of her for no reason and then started scolding vulgar stuff), the govmt has introduced lots of things to increase accessibility for the disabled (esp for the blind). and everybody automatically stands on the right side of each escalator step for ppl in a hurry to walk up the left side. and erm frequency of ppl jaywalking has decreased by a lot. singapore needs to work on a lot of things if she wants to be a gracious society, tt's for sure. fines arent going to work.

singapore has a problem in preserving (?) its culture and traditions cos of its multiracial equality policy i think. everyone doesnt dare to make their celebrations big in the fear tt it bcums unfair for the other races. ok i mean now it's already unfair for muslims (ramadan wasnt even over and christmas decorations were already up). so anyway yar say chinese new year we're only given 3 days. look at other chinese places. 1 week of holidays. everything will be different.

i dunno if i like being a student in hk though, it seems tt sg students are treated by parents and teachers alike to be more mature.

anyway briefly the things tt happened in my 4/5 days here: quite a bit of eating though not tt much of yumming cha (which is gd actually. unhealthy). erm visited history museum (which took our family one whole day). visited relatives. during which i erm sang and played piano / violin with my cousins. as i've said b4 music's really powerful. common language despite a possibly different culture (i think hk ppl are actually q different from sg ppl).

and the best part abt this whole trip, apart from rediscovering hk, is tt we had a great laugh each day. which is really grrrrrrrrreat. stuff like arms shrinking in length (will show u all when i come back), my uncle not giving his turtles names and simply calling them 1,2,3,4, and the manager at a restaurant telling the waiters to try and sell the prawns and whatever nots tt have been stuck in the fridge for the past few days and have to be sold for low prices, and how they bought a fish for $150 from fat guy (direct translation) and intend to sell it for $300, right in front of my mother and i.

11:39 a.m. - 2003-11-26



to resummarize what i've learnt / how i've changed this yr:

active. sociable. determined. be interested. smart. dare to try.

1:38 a.m. - 2003-11-20



feels great to have the comp back alive... much has happened. and i really mean quite a lot... anyway today marks the end of my cambridge written jap, as well as my last trip on my car. yup. it's gonna be scrapped. sad yar. erm i'm going off to hong kong this friday. and i'm gonna b bz all the way until christmas (as in 25th dec itself) internship and cip and erm tests and chorale. sigh in fact even bzier than june hols. tt was the first time in my life tt i felt bz. and the first time i realized i needed a break. (which happens to be the whole of term 3 for me. slacked-away)

so i shall begin. auntie manyee came to singapore bringing her son along. havent seen them in 2 yrs. and yup i started worrying abt my children being spoiled. i really hope not. i suddenly felt like i din like children any more (i used to like playing with them), but in the end i realized tt i needed to warm up just like kids need to.

there was this comment on newspapers abt singapore government usu trying to cover things up until they cant do so. social studies: good governance: transparency. i dunno how much of it they're doing. or do first then see how.

i've actually bcum addicted to the comp as u can see. i suffer withdrawal symptoms. erm. sort of. chatting's bcum part of my life.

my will power has increased. managed to study 1600(?) words in 1 day. haha not for sat, for jap. much more determined. i actually set goals for myself and try to achieve them. (usually they're crazy goals. u know me.) same for bio o. i culd nver do this in the past. guess i'm getting prepared for next yr... (was studying at burger king, then at esplanade library where i photocopied the spring sonata!!! yay!)

an office job seems really boring to me. i've been at my dad's building (ok he doesnt own it fine) and yar just looking at ppl streaming out from the exit at lunch time and after work, it just doesnt appeal to me. i'm still thinking of being a doctor. but maybe if i really wanted to be one i wuldnt be considering any more. but anyway keep tt option open.

cool. uob building has double decker lifts.

some roads are really old. like upper bkt timah / woodlands rd. older than so many others. it has gone through so much. including world war 2 i guess. and singapore's road network's really fantastic i think. any driver can navigate ard singapore as long as they find a sign tt points towards a certain expressway and u're sure u can get home... (haha starting to get into the mood to go for my internship)

12:59 a.m. - 2003-11-20



extract from a conversation between andrew and me:

but i dun want to be associated with anything cool or u noe those stuff tt i'm not already doing cos i dun believe in them / i dun like them and it wuld be terrible if i'm really doing it just bcos i want to conform to the norms.

12:24 a.m. - 2003-11-15



ended up in orchard rd looking at erm "snow". and shopping at takashimaya. anyway. one of the salesgirls was really nice, she knew we wuldnt buy it (it's some $8610 glass thingie) but she explained to us clearly abt how the thing was made (some glass-in-glass thingie. u noe like when u make microspheres out of polymers u have a oil-water-oil emulsion) and yar she was really very happy when doing tt. this is called jing4 ye4 le4 ye4. i want to be like her. i must love my job.

oh and they were selling this really beautiful dome-shaped ceramic thingie for $99.90 each. its thickness determines the amt of light tt passes through so by varying the thickness, u can create an image when u shine light from within. really nice...

maybe i havent gone to a hotel for a very long time but this hotel had really tight security. u have to insert ur keycard in the slot (found above the buttons) as you would into the one on ur room door, before u can press the button for the flooor u stay on...

11:15 p.m. - 2003-11-14



let's see. went for lunch, wanted to mug for SAT there but it dint work cos the rattan armchair i was sitting on was too uncomfortable for a person like me who is basically made up of bones so yup had to leave. bought a magnum almond, enjoyed it for at most 2 minutes, then went out of cashew heights hoping for a haircut. apparently it's a holiday for the barber today and i was too bored to go home so i went to bkt panjang plaza, and somehow ended up at the library. sat down wanting to mug SAT but still not in the mood (looks like i nver will be) and erm decided to borrow a book (like wow hong king wants to read?!?!). and then started reading it and aha finally started mugging SAT. whenever there was a word i din noe i made a quick reference to my SAT book and just picked random words to memorize. not related huh. but it works.

anyway ended up going to another barber. and erm he did funny things to my hair (well my usual barber just cuts. this guy has dunno how many combs of different colours, and dunno what else) and he applied gel to my hair (eeew).

end of story.

4:58 p.m. - 2003-11-14



ok tt's not the real date/time either. just removed the battery u c. so erm yes there's sth wrong with it as usual. anyway. anyone who wants to go for the salvation army thing pls sms me or sth.

last jap lesson ended yesterday after a pathetic listening practice. well. interesting year, lessons without learning much. but i guess it keeps us in contact with the language... and erm i think tt the jap department shud do sth abt the way they teach. and the things they teach. and the level at which they teach. well. havent i been complaining abt how ppl learning the other languages can talk abt a wide range of issues, be it political, environmental, economical? we the japanese students are stuck in school. limited vocab and stuff. it's our own fault for not reading more on our own. but they must teach more interesting stuff!!!

3:26 p.m. - 2003-01-01



and another thing which i forgot.

i think i'm a very boring person when i'm not funny. when i know tt my jokes will not be appreciated i wunt say them (such as with 4p), and when tt happens i feel small and boring. yup. i'll just retreat to small little boring me. ok now i sound like i force jokes out of myself. tt's not true. it's in me. i make funny remarks all the time. it makes up what is known as hong king. proof? i do it all the time at home. and when i've to suppress tt part of me, i'm not me. yes tt's right. i bcum the introverted hk. which is quite sad actually.

then abt being different. i nver conform to norms, and i am always myself. yes there's nothing really wrong with tt, but it comes with consequences. there's bound to be discrimination. not being cool and all, i'll get ignored. so be it. but it's getting better, less and less ppl ignore me. but i'm worried abt me getting into the army and having to suffer in it. or having to change myself to not suffer in it. scary thought. last yr i did worry abt jc and how there'll be "cool" ppl ard, but in the end 1so3f turns out to be one of the mildest ever possible class. yup so i'm not exposed to the real world again. really. if i'm afraid of the army it's not the physical training - i actually wunt mind it, the kind of life - like not going home, i wunt mind tt either, but rather abt me coming out a different person. pls hong king no. i like myself as i am now. haha.

10:28 p.m. - 2003-11-12



i still like fugues. just played my exam piece (this yr's) and it was well done. well i liked my own performance anyway. yup. satisfying. music is sth tt u really cant force. oh well. if only everybody in chorale culd be in the right mood to sing wateva song we're singing then the result should be magical. let's try to achieve tt shall we? anyway recently i've been eating lots of fried stuff and heaty stuff and i tell u there's so much phlegm and basically i cant even sing low range. terrible.

wanted to tok abt "friendships this year", but i dunno where to start. one main thing though, my concept of friendship changed a lot this year. i used to think tt it's someone whom u pour secrets into and u basically keep tokking to the person abt such things. well. obviously it's not just tt. u'll run out of things to say in no time tt way. it's just someone whom u know will listen to ur nonsense. whom well basically u feel comfortable to tell nonsense to. whom u can be with and say nothing and do nothing but yar u can actually feel comfortable with. and old friendships are really good. as i've probably said b4 the singing in the clock tower with sing yong was really good. it's just tt feeling when u noe no matter how infrequent we get to meet each other, how different we can continue to bcum, we are still friends. ppl like andrew. i know him as a classmate in ri, but the friendship sorta blooms more when we dun get to meet each other often. i guess jc is a place for friendships to bloom. where u get a chance to know ppl, where u actually face problems. (of course i've also heard of many ppl drifting apart. i dunno. i think tt's cos the original friendship was based on really close day-to-day interactions, so of cos u'd expect it to be less "intense(?)" once u're separated.). through daily interactions i got to know ee sang, bena better. and clar as well i shud think. "friends" with many teachers too. not bad lar this year...

10:06 p.m. - 2003-11-12



the year's far from over for me, but i shall reflect on what has happened over this year anyway.

1. i've bcum much more active. in school, out of school. IN: tried to do stuff, participate in stuff, programmes (e.g. RMP, chorale, internship), etc. OUT: perhaps the first few times i go to orchard with friends. i mean yar seriously i really dun appreciate going out and just walking abt and window shopping when i know i wunt ever buy anything. and have i told anybody i dun exactly appreciate movies either. which actually explains why sometimes i dun appreciate fiction either (tt's y i dun read). to me non-fiction will always be the only attractive thing. and i dun mean gp-like things. no thanks. but yar i guess i need to buck up for my gp. anyway back. i'm nver a go-out person. frankly if u ever spot me at orchard rd, its bcos i'm accompanying friends. fullstop. i most definitely am not enjoying myself in case u were wondering. it's just the company. i guess nobody wuld be shocked.

2. i've returned to being social again. sec 3 / sec 4 were really terrible years. as in cos of daniel. i dunno. i just keep quiet once he gets near. i feel inhibited. i feel threatened. he gets too close for comfort. i want to tell him tt, for his own good, but once he gets near i cant even open my mouth. just felt it again today. anyway yes in jc u get to know lots of ppl cos u get to know friends' friends. and u know, a course here and a camp there, yup u get to know ppl. and yar of cos getting to know girls. dun laff. but somehow i think i communicate with many of them better. i just cant communicate with some guys. really. u noe what i mean.

3. i've bcum smarter. haha how thick-skinned. but yar great to know. my brain has learnt to work in a smarter way. i mean considering tt there's actually much more to mug for a levels, but the effort i'm putting in is still the same. it's the way i shrink the huge amounts of muggaterials to small amounts. another example is how i culd understand the P&C formula. mind is more active, tries to understand the reason behind everything.

4. i've started to try what i'm not good at. dare to try. want to try. basically sports. i'm no good at it i admit. but i'm playing table tennis, i'm playing squash. yup.

5. i've started taking interest in things i do. well. for all 4 years in ri erm yar what was i really interested in? nothing much lar, just following whatever is laid out for me. now, esp music. yup.

tt's all for now shall write more when i think more. feeling a bit dead after a whole day of bio prac (which by the way was really fun)

8:48 p.m. - 2003-11-12



just realized tt i forgot tt my whole water bottle was emptied inside my bag which contained a SAT book, bio o stuff, some certificates, my jackets (in the end none of which were used). smart hk.

9:26 a.m. - 2003-11-11



had some nice fun identity switches. mutual swaps. me with shifeng, xuxu with christelle. haha quite confusing at first but eventually got used to it... nice, simple class outing tonight. quite happy...

11:45 p.m. - 2003-11-10



somehow i've this feeling my comp decided to fix itself after i found out tt the number to call is 6213 1311 to ask for repair / (hopefully) replacement for my Intel 845 desktop board. probably realized tt it'll bcum trash if i send it there..

anyway today's pw meeting was highly productive, at least for me. writing 444 page numbers was surely an exciting thing to do. not being sarcastic at all. feel a sense of achievement after tt... haha. sadly we've to part with the file for good. without even getting to see it in its best condition for more than a day. sigh.

anyway my dad was telling me tt i've been unable to prioritize lately. i've been deciding on impulse, by whether i feel like doing sth. things like pw. cant even be bothered to memorize everything (ok though more or less it's inside). i bet if it were last yr i'd still be memorizing now. or wait i'd have been sleeping by now. 12.40 and still at the comp? seemed like an impossibility then. or nowadays i'd rather go play squash / table tennis even if there's bio o (as in the exam) the next day. if there's anything gd abt this, it has to be tt i've become more interested in things, and tt i'm doing them out of interest and not bcos i have to do them. but it seems to make me a totally disorganized and un-disciplined person. maybe i ought to do sth abt what rj has done to me. yes i'm actually pretty sure tt it is rj tt has made me what i am now. others probably say tt they've bcum more disciplined. it's quite the opposite for me, as it almost always is for me.

12:34 a.m. - 2003-11-10



as u can c the clock's a bit bonkers. supposed to be 5.47 friday 7th nov. anyway getting pissed with myself for wasting dunno how much of my life on fruitless pw meetings and fixing the comp. i'm surprised the comp hasnt decided to restart itself yet...

10:21 a.m. - 1995-01-03



ok since i guess nobody is here yet let me blog abt yesterday.

first of all i realized tt going to jelita to wait for 75 is better than going to red hse. cos i get to buy things to eat at 7-11. haha.

went back to ri with many 4p ppl. and played bball (in sch u...). mrs yap came down to tok to us for a while. it's been a yr. and the liquid paper mark is still there outside the right-back door of LT1... and i went to the clock tower again... but din sing cos ray was there with me (??). watched matrix but i was totally lost cos i din watch the other 2. and i desperately needed the toilet but din go cos i was sitting right in the middle of the row. and it was cold. and i felt dizzy cos of the new specs. ate a lot though. (oh dear really i'm eating lots of junk looks like i'm gonna get heart disease soon or sth)

this morning on the way here i met this couple from netherlands who went to indo for 8 days and erm their son is either a lecturer or a student at one of the universities here. and yes they were going to the botanic gardens

10:05 a.m. - 2003-11-07



comp is dead at home. in school library now. doing pw later.

9:57 a.m. - 2003-11-07



rather interesting bio o lab training. floral diagrams / formulae. and erm fern tissue map. was so happy when i finally managed to produce a slice thin enough for the chloroplast to be seen... (yay!)

erm not a very good tenor sectional today. ate pretty nice ice cream at jelita. came home, decided to learn another nice fugue (yay!!)

haha as u can see i'm actually in quite a gd mood today.

6:17 p.m. - 2003-11-05



!!! i switched the window and everything disappeared...!!! cant believe this... anyway. let me retype.

started the day not very well. dad din go to work so had to run out to the bus stop. was nervous during the "presentation". heard comments like "too fast. cant be heard. too small." haha erm it's ok i'll work harder to perhaps bcum a physics teacher one day.

then there was pw which was the most boring thing tt culd ever happen. just listen to grps answer questions. din eat anything during the break. neither maths nor physics lecture were very interesting. esp the physics one. din really bother to follow. then it was my grp's turn to be questioned and i erm stumbled quite badly. lesson to be learnt: think b4 speaking. after which i had to think of how i regretted not going for the prague trip last yr to stop myself from laughing. looks like our grp's consists more or less of pinochios.

then went to canteen to wait for jap lesson. was very sian and basically not in a good mood. physically tired as well (slept at 1.30 last night doing tt thingie!). and yes i din even eat lunch. bao luo and hon lyn werent in a gd mood either. so tt just made me feel worse. until i got jason's sms tt he's been discharged. which sorta made me slightly happier. today's jap was more constructive than usual possibly cos i was listening. haha. what a thing to say.

so at the end of it i was preparing to just go on 75 and sleep the entire trip (and hopefully not miss my stop again of cos) and just stone at home for the rest of the night. i was in fact on the way out when suddenly ms tan hon lyn called me to tell me tt i got into the second round. i wuldnt really have been tt happy, but bcos she was really beaming, i got influenced as well and yar basically got out of my bad mood. went to staff room 2 to use ms low's laptop to confirm by checking our email (thanks ms low and sorry for disrupting), on the way spraining my neck (happens frequently when i'm happy. wonder how. my head gets left behind bcos my legs walk away too quickly). so ended up going home with hon lyn on the mrt, chatting on the way.

bad day bcame a gd day.

8:57 p.m. - 2003-11-04



pw presentation wasnt as disastrous as it was supposed to be, for i had some time to prepare while watching the other grps. and then turned out it took 4:30. haha what an improvement from 1:10. anyway then after tt went out for a gm-food-club cum as-club outing (total attendance - 12) which turned out ok. started out slow. as usual lar huh, wait here wait there, then some ppl din have ezlink cards and had to share (shh). [tokking abt ezlink cards i think it's ridiculous tt the deposit for the ezlink card is not refundable] scared christine at the escalator. (she looked really shocked) ate at kenny roger's. i ate quite a lot. or perhaps a lot. then watched the laser show at fountain. somehow i liked the 3d effects. when u feel as though there are really waves... then was on the way to the esplanade bus stop when i saw these 2 guys playing at the concourse so i just sat down to listen. then haha met as club again. so i joined them for a walk down singapore river to fulfil christine's dream. and den took 75 home instead of 960. not too slow. but was too tired again and missed my stop again. oh well.

10:50 p.m. - 2003-11-03



guess what. highly inefficient pw meeting today. reason? all 5 ppl were there together. 3 ge he2 shang4 mei2 shui3 he1. he2 kuang4 5 ge ren2? pair work's still the best huh...

"gossip session" was so fake. and there wasnt much being done either. i declare this party a relative failure. hmmm.

anyway took 170 back, and the bus only had 4 chinese. and guess what cos i was sitting on the seat facing the back, i just kept looking up and down the bus and missed my stop. so had to walk some 16 minutes b4 reaching home.

11:14 p.m. - 2003-11-02



well. my voice isnt in a very gd condition now considering all tt screaming i was doing haha (thanks to the fact tt i am a "good demonstrator"). haha but it was such a great experience sitting next to wui ming (at the piano) and singing, for i culd hear a more complete sound - i.e. sops/altos/basses, and i culd really feel wui ming expressing himself. and he improvises so well. he's such a great great musician.

10:03 p.m. - 2003-11-01



ended up sleeping at 1 yesterday. though wateva i was reading din help in the end, at least i learnt sth. :) part a and part b were doable but haha part c and part d were not as doable for i had no facts nor the common sense which would be required if i were to get them right. anyway the place was really cold. somehow my gut feeling told me tt i'd need to bring my jacket. i hope my gut feeling lasted till 1pm.

went to eat at jurong point, bloated again. sth wrong with my brain i think, it cant seem to do estimation properly any more. at mos: 1 strawberry milk shake, 1 yakiniku rice burger, and 1 cookie, at long john's: 2-piece chicken + fries. then went back to school and played win lose or draw, with me drawing chinese cheng2 yu3s. not bad. i can still remember quite a lot of them. proud to be a chinese :).

anyway saw ms low on my way to the canteen to collect my box of donuts. anand was with her and i was told to audition him. hm. what a simple audition. told him to sing sth, found this cello book and made him sightsing (haha how cruel), played a melody (or rather a few random notes) for him to sing so tt ms low culd hear him. and tt was it. perhaps 1 minute? haha. poor thing he came all the way to appeal and yar 1 minute auditioning by a hong king. sad right...

7:04 p.m. - 2003-10-31



erm. bio is interesting. just tt hong king being hong king always does his work last minute and he's like scanning through campbell at like 5 pages a minute. erm yar. even so 1000 pages means sth like 200 minutes or 3+hours. yup. gd luck to everyone!

10:38 p.m. - 2003-10-30



haha we thought tt qian li and bao luo got quarantined for walking into the labs. apparently not.

mr ho seems like he doesnt want to tell our class abt his leaving (ok perhaps he's reconsidering)

went to ghim moh for lunch, was so terribly full after eating lots of western food, a cup of sugar cane and a bowl of dou4 hua1.

"dr chan" "andrew... lam" turns ard to look at andrew lee who looked relieved. i was thinking "heng ah"... "mr alfred chan" "hong king". :S

3:12 p.m. - 2003-10-30



today was basically a freezing day. the whole day. luckily i opened the door during chem otherwise i'd really have frozen to death. after chem was walking towards canteen and fell into the drain. basically cos my foot is larger than the width of the drain, my left foot sort of got scratched. and erm today being free and ez day i was just holding my file and had a pen, a pencil and a thermometer in my pocket. they flew out, and i fell so nicely. it seemed like i planned to sit down. right hand was still holding on to handphone (no sign of wanting to release it at all), left hand to the file (which has evidence of being scratched). haha well count myself lucky.

anyway then chorale let us have a good laugh (some were puns while others were just erm reason-less laughter) and had a not-exactly-a-surprise-with-samantha-being-so-slow celebration of jan's bday. learnt a new song, which i guess turned out quite nice in the end.

went to nuh with conrad after some time to visit jason. found out tt he was no longer at ward 54 bed 1 but at ward 20 bed 12 (ICU). he's really in pain. talked to him and then yar bought him a soft toy (sorta) so tt it's not so boring for him. really really hope he gets well soon.

then got on a nus shuttle, feels just like when i was doing rmp, and it's most unfortunate tt i'm here this time to visit a friend in hospital. but it all feels familiar. well. and somehow after this i feel like bcuming a doctor again.

got home in an ultra-cold 184. i really loved the temperature this time. when i got out i culdnt see my way at all so i just walked blindly. culd see all sorts of light-emitting objects with their diffraction patterns.

anyway. i am chatting on msn and coke got into my windpipe. wow. so much tt it's taking ages to all come out. not like i was talking or anything. sth's wrong with me.

8:20 p.m. - 2003-10-29



made myself so bloated just now when i forced water and food down my throat to get rid of the bone which i suspected was halfway down my oesophagus. could feel it tumble down slowly after a while but i think it made a cut. either tt or i ate too many cookies yesterday. but anyway i was like trying to swallow without chewing and it was torturous. forced like 2 or 3 mugs of water down. crzy.

10:21 p.m. - 2003-10-28



yesterday 7 of us went to bena's hse first to watch a movie, then it turned out to be a gossip sesssion. then finally pw. haha. but it was fun fun fun! lol shant repeat myself like i did in the class blog.

turns out i did pretty ok for promos. still the same grades as common test: AAABB(3)B(4) but now instead of jap A (i.e. a fake A) it went to bio. 3 of them were the lowest possible mark for the grade (one A, the B and the B4) really really need to work on GP!!!!! cant believe this, to think tt i thought tt my essay was alright. sth's just not right. argh. anyway jap as i said was disgustingly hard so i guess the B3 wasnt unexpected. pretty satisfied with maths and bio, and quite lucky tt i still managed to scrape an A for physics even though i culdnt finish, and i did stupid things like blanco-and-then-forget-to-write, drawing-on-the-question-paper-instead-of-on-the-foolscap-paper, putting-"�"-at-the-wrong-place-without-error-carry-forward, and so on and so forth. yup so i'm glad i still got my 70. :)

anyway. cant believe tt jason got pneumothorax. most unfortunate. really hope he gets well soon. was having a mini chatting session outside the staffroom when eric suddenly told me tt his lungs collapsed and i just got such a shock. really. anyway yup jason take care ok...

one last thing. on the way home saw daryl and suh yue (if tt's how u spell her name) made me think again of what i'd be now if i had remained in odac. daryl was like saying they had 22 rounds yesterday for training. and them mentioning mr low, and their expedition. ah just brings back memories. though i figured i'd probably die (seriously. ever since odac my asthma got worse) but yar it sounds like a different kind of fun, a life tt i nver really got to lead in the end. experience it i did but it nver bcame my life.

8:02 p.m. - 2003-10-28



next time when we grow up and there are salesman telling u to buy some club membership or timesharing or watsoever, pls do consider whether there's a maintenance cost that lasts for the rest of your life. dun buy it unless u're sure u'll use it. or unless u're really rich and drop $1000 notes on the floor often enough.

i know i've said this but i really love great world city toilets. nice themes. a pity tt the place is so empty even on a sunday evening like this. ah but it's so coincidental i actually met christine! haha or rather she spotted me. i was like drinking the fruit tea sample and was wondering how much sugar tt saleswoman put in for it to be so much sweeter than the one my neighbour makes.

oh yes. bought ford focus for $82,400. quite a good deal. not the cheapest ard. but yar i like the car personally. though not the exact same model. there's one tt's more sporty but the boot cant fit a golf bag so it was out. but still it's quite unique (i hate to conform to the norms... tt's y i told my dad no gold/silver pls cos it's like the most common thing on the road nowadays) and the interior's quite nice. feel a bit sad tt our old car has to go. esp since it's not tt old. and it still looks quite new. it's gold by the way, but u c at the time we bought it which is 1996, gold cars werent common. and our current car looks nice ok... haha i'm so proud of myself. i've chosen the colour of all the cars we've bought so far...

9:18 p.m. - 2003-10-26



was reading the papers today, saw this photo which i found familiar, and indeed it was luang prabang. the small yet wonderful town in laos. still want to go there...

had lunch at jack's place and it felt like christmas. green stuff everywhere. i just started singing christmas songs, and i tell u i really want to carol this year. pls pls. I WANT TO!!! it's definitely gonna be fun. yup. anyway it was quite coincidental for they played "happy bday" twice for two tables. haha hm.

what am i going to be? i'm still uncertain abt my future. but my mother's been suggesting going back to hk a few times. i really really dun like tt idea at all, for i am, after all, brought up in singapore. yet i can tell that she misses her family, and yar can u imagine it must have been quite a major change for her, from pure cantonese to mandarin/english (she picked up really fast i must say), from working to housewife. and when they eventually get old (which is soon actually. it'll happen b4 u noe it) they'd want to have their family ard them definitely.

while i understand tt, it must also be understood tt i'm really a singaporean, nothing much is going to change tt. tt's tough isnt it. she's been suggesting tt i do medicine in hk so tt i wunt be bound (tt wuld happen if i were to do it at nus, and i dun think i can afford to study medicine overseas). and she keeps saying tt i can always come back to singapore to practise, but we all know how low the chances of tt happening are. yup. no decisions yet, but i know the first time i thought abt it i cried and cried (tt was last yr i think).

meanwhile i'd still want to study overseas (tt's if i'm not doing medicine) for the experience. i still prefer big countries to small cities. i'm most definitely not going to retire in singapore. new zealand perhaps. sounds great... haha retirement? hello! i'm only 17!!! :D

3:40 p.m. - 2003-10-26



cant decide whether i'm a ENTP, ENTJ or ESTJ. (still the same as last yr) but anyway whichever i am, i would have to: appreciate others more (i realised i'm trying), and consider other ppl's feelings. it's interesting to note tt under extreme stress, i would want to be alone, i'm sensitive to criticism, i attribute unrealistic negative meaning to others actions or statements.

anyway yup. somehow this thingie keeps reminding me of open hse.

12:02 p.m. - 2003-10-26



one year ago on this exact day i was bitten by a dog.

much has changed in this one yr. it seems to me tt these 365 days between 26th oct 2002 and 26th oct 2003 has been the longest in my life so far. yet while it seemed long and seems really far away, it passed very quickly.

i can only hope tt my next yr would be more event-filled. but i also want time to relax. yes ms lee let's go to endau rompin...

12:08 a.m. - 2003-10-26



do ppl frequently take advantage of me? i suddenly wonder. i've nver wondered but i suddenly wonder after i did this quiz.

11:27 p.m. - 2003-10-25



tried calling the immigration office to ask abt extension of passport validity but i got the answer "hello this is a dentist here".

anyway i think i really like jelita-cold storage. as in the mall itself. feels so unlike singapore. feels so small yet nice. not like any other shopping centre. somehow i like the way malls are built overseas. maybe i wanna go overseas. go to some place where everything's sparse and enjoy the space.
* does anyone actually feel this way? i just have this feeling tt many ppl do feel this way...

recently i've been getting electrocuted by my mum whenever i go out. somehow she can accumulate charges on her skin. and i feel shocks every now and then.

was looking at cars yesterday right. it was interesting to see how each salesman promoted their cars. how some were totally shameless and kept saying tt their car was the best (reduced credibility :P) while we really found it terrible - and it wasnt cheap either. some were who-cares-abt-u-when-i-have-enough-customers, though i must say the one who came to us in the end was quite friendly. some were ultra generous and let us go on a really big loop and try out bends and braking and stuff and were really knowledgeable and nearly convinced us tt yar the car is really quite good for the money u pay for it. haha make a guess which company is which. but anyway after we went home and compared brochures. hm. realized that while we tried not to be swayed by the salesman, by how the showroom looked like, we still were. haha so in the end spent one day not finding out which to buy, but finding out one which we definitely din want to buy (haha the shameless one)

11:04 a.m. - 2003-10-25



tt was what i felt just now. after a chat and a bath, figured tt it was the lack of cooperation throughout the entire process (open hse) tt basically got me frustrated. or rather too many ppl wanting to lead and have their say. it's not like nobody listens. everybody still listens, but oh well, things just dun go smoothly.

and for me. fatigue. choir. the overall sian-ness. all added up to make me really annoyed by the time i got into the car when my dad came.

(doesnt help tt i din seem to do well for bio - from the way ms teh asked me whether i studied hard for bio. but anyway tt's over so whatever it is there's no pt in thinking abt it so... yup at least i'm no longer thinking abt tt. gd. )

budden again i might only be seeing a very small part of the whole thing. perhaps. hopefullly

10:34 p.m. - 2003-10-23



well. i wunt say open hse was fun. let's see. ts1 at 8am. warm up. ok lar at least. then sang. haha less-than-ideal isnt it. and well i bet i culdnt be heard at all. quite sad. oh but actually i got some consolation from sang yu who said i did fine. i need some encouragement u noe... sigh. and then manning of booths, both geog soc and chorale. some explaining here and there but nothing exciting.

i dunno. it's not anything to do with my own activities today. i'm used to doing stuff and not having fun. well sort of anyway. i'm disappointed with open hse over all. 2 main things.
1. much effort has been put in, yet so few ppl came. rather unfortunate.
2. when i wanted to help clear up, the oh team din seem to want my help. (they clearly could do with more hands) am i unhappy? i dunno. it's simply weird. not knowing how to help although i want to help. it's this feeling of exclusiveness i guess. i noe it's plain weird. usu those who'd want to help wuld have joined the team. i dint cos i'm not supposed to but i still want to help yet they dun welcome me. get what i'm trying to say? it's just this weird feeling. it's almost as though i'm an outsider, a non-rafflesian.

6:59 p.m. - 2003-10-23



feeling quite weird now. not enuff sleep i guess. and my right hand is still numb. since the morning. if i touch my index finger it simply feels numb. dunno what happened to it, and whether tt's bcos of my lack of sleep. (hm actually somehow i seem to be making a big fuss out of this. many ppl perhaps sleep much less than me on a regular basis) but still yar i havent ever done this b4 unless it's a camp. and usu after camps i'll sleep for one whole day after tt? haha how to survive... shall sleep. realized tt if i sleep now i'd have slept 6 hrs for yesterday and 7 hrs for tml. sth like tt.

9:02 p.m. - 2003-10-22



two pretty bz days. yesterday had sectionals / lunch with reginald / splash paint here and there / pw. today had the board / chorale / a bit of open hse. think i'd have had a great time if i were in the open hse team. anyway yesterday has to be the most efficient day of pw. or both yesterday and today to be precise. only slept 4 hrs i realised. and now i'm like feeling dizzy. well will sleep soon.

anyway this stupid throat of mine is starting to become sore. hm. oh but quite cool. matona-alto, mayila-tenor, i got shoes-bass. haha not bad huh. haha "i got a harp" somehow became "i got a heart". hm.

7:03 p.m. - 2003-10-22



ready to sleep.

3:13 a.m. - 2003-10-22



today's paper has to be the worst jap paper i have ever taken in my life. it's either really hard, or i've bcum really lousy, or both. i think it's both. lol. i was quite smart though. i din even realize i brought my handphone into the exam room until they had to try and call winnie. hm wonder how i wuld have responded if i received a sms. perhaps i'll just take it out and read it. haha.

then went to IMM but it was highly uneventful. ate. and walked ard the whole place. then came home for table tennis.

7:04 p.m. - 2003-10-20



i think tt $1, $1.99, $2, $6 shops shud cease to exist. cos they're absolutely environmentally unfriendly. they even manufacture their own goods. and who's going to buy them? i dunno. nice to see yes and yar it's impressive that they have such a wide variety. but so what? bcos of the price the quality has to be compromised. and so u end up with basically a worthless thing, which ppl will pick up, take a look, and return to the shelf. was just looking at a $1 fishing rod... can u believe ttt?? who on earth is going to buy tt. even if a kid wanted it as a toy i dun think the parents wuld want to buy it cos it's quite dangerous.

10:17 p.m. - 2003-10-18



actually i've already figured out why i feel this way. cos to me exams are a break. u laugh. i'm serious. in fact to anyone who pays attention in class, exams are a break. a pretty long break too. the true break that lasts for 1 whole month (or more). and it has finally come to an end. look. unlike the normal "holidays", there is no cca (ok not tt i dun want it i want a practice soon), no cip, no new tutorials to do, nothing new to learn, no pw (teachers believe tt promos are the most impt and so they push everything till after promos dunt they), basically nothing but mug! and what does mugging mean? it simply means rereading what u shud already know. (unless u really spend effort in stuffing everything in. then tt i believe is tough work.) and if u havent been lagging, it simply means tt exams are a break. i figured tt i play the piano abt 5 times as much during exam periods. now i finally can account for tt difference in frequency. bcos i'm bored, bcos i've nothing to do, and bcos really it's slacking time. anybody wants to comment??

9:43 a.m. - 2003-10-18



i've just plunged into nothingness. nothing feels right. not tt i was doing much at this exact time a day ago (ok perhaps i was changing my template), but sth just doesnt feel right. i'm here, at home. 9.36pm and free to chat. free to do anything with my time but i feel lost. sth wrong hey. i wasnt stressed during the exams. and guess what the price u have to pay is. u dun feel anything after the exams. no happiness no sadness. nothing at all.

9:36 p.m. - 2003-10-17



ended up coming home. haha erm cos my father already reached the carpark... but anyway u cant really do much can u until dinner unless u're eating out. (somehow i'm like feeling guilty or sth). but anyhow i have jap on monday which i seriously need to mug for. but table tennis first haha.

bio? haha. aching fingers. whatever. culdnt even do some qns.

5:58 p.m. - 2003-10-17



wow just had a really interesting dream. what happened was i was mugging bio. (and the reason why i was doing tt i figured was bcos i was really doing tt just b4 i slept. cos the rest of the day i was removing virus / making new template). so anyway it was a windy night and was raining. so my parents warned me, "ur things might fly out of the window" by the time i reached money was flying out of the window. (money was on a table, collected by the class for some charity, up to $330+)

so i decided. too bad. no more bio. go down and pick up the money! and so i went to the carpark. (the carpark was really like the real one, just tt there were a few extra parking spaces on the road itself which stopped cars from passing and thus made my money-picking safer). pick pick pick. suddenly this construction worker (remember my condo's swimming pool is being re-constructed) told me "hey i've $150 here with me. my friend said tt this probably was blown out from someone's window so we're helping u find it". and i just let him take it away. during the process i saw this US$1, picked it up but put it down after 5m or so cos i thought no this isnt mine. it isnt right to take it.

went home. counted the money, realized i had in fact more than b4 if i included tt $150. In fact, there was this $2000 renminbi note which looked just like a S$10 note (tt's y i din notice). as well as this piece of paper which said 650,000 yen to this guy (i was picking up bits and pieces of my bio notes as well apparently). wanted to return that to the owner. all the money was very clean (cos of the thunderstorm).

so the next day.i went back to find tt construction worker for my $150. he refused to return it! he went sth like "fat hope" and was leaving on a pickup truck. somehow i was standing very high up (cos i always look at the progress of the swimming pool project from my hse which is on the 13th floor) and i started throwing mattresses at him. din hit him. culdnt get back my $150. someone later told me u're lucky u only gave him $150 cos he gave him $1000! so went home decided to comb the carpark again in case there's any more money. and then i did sth which woke me up (cant remember what) and i was like "whew luckily this is just a dream"

so anyway dun leave ur money lying ard. [oh now i noe why i had this dream. i've had this $50 note in front of my comp for the past wk, just underneath my speaker and it was nearly blown away by the fan]

8:13 a.m. - 2003-10-17



the other time it was "lucky sunni didnt bring her handphone". finally the day tt i'll forget. oh well. memory is pretty bad huh.

i felt the power of adrenaline at the 2hr 59min 36th second when i suddenly spotted a careless mistake. and i just felt my heart pumping very very quickly. and i started shivering. and all of a sudden i culdnt really think. adrenaline perhaps isnt really tt gd. for if i had no adrenaline perhaps i'd have been able to calmly add in a few numbers. i din even have to cancel things away. it was just adding in a "2". and yet when i shiver and stuff i culd actually add a 0.5 in one of the intermediate steps. powerful hey. power of adrenaline.

moral of the story. anything to do with calculations, to do with logic, u need a clear mind. so dunt look at ur watch. any quantitative answers pls pls look at ur watch cos it takes time to write them and u can write them equally well under stress (just tt the handwriting wuld be terrible). maths requires a clear mind. it doesnt take tt much time to write down a few numbers here and there...

12:37 p.m. - 2003-10-16



oh dear. comp still hangs after mouse is plugged in. not good.

8:39 p.m. - 2003-10-15



think i got rid of the other virus as well... YAY! haha yet to test it. let's wait and see...

8:13 p.m. - 2003-10-15



exciting. well more exciting than i imagined. a gd afternoon. removed a virus from my comp. i dunno if it's the one causing my mouse to malfunction. but it was through msn tt i got it. so be careful ok... ok the one tt was detected is named: W97M.Marker.gen

wonder who spread it to me...

5:53 p.m. - 2003-10-15



i'm terribly bored. been playing the piano (tt was fun though. was trying to figure out a 5 voice fugue which gave me a headache) yup. wonder what i'll do if i din have a piano at home. stay on the comp all the time? so sad....

3:19 p.m. - 2003-10-15



hm so gp din teach me anything cos i thought i did pretty well (first time i culd write a conclusion properly for an essay?). but such exams i figured arent to test what u have in ur brains. it's more of how u can perform under stress. (or for me when i dun feel any stress and end up crawling through the paper) so physics taught me time management (therefore today i culd more or less finish). chem teaches me not to panick / erase things for no reason / be careful with numbers - gd preparation for maths huh. so i learnt sth from every paper. nothing to be sad abt cos wateva's been lost is lost and perhaps the teacher will give some sympathy marks. and whatever it is. maths cant go too wrong tml cos i will do it properly...

1:32 p.m. - 2003-10-15



i promise myself maths shall be good. to compensate for all tt's lost. i've the will power to do well for maths.

12:15 p.m. - 2003-10-15



read ruiming's post with his memories of 4p. tt made me think for a while. realized tt i've not been reflecting much ever since entering the mugger mode (doesnt matter whether u actually mug a lot - u're still in the mode). been thinking only of how many bruises i have from falling down, what i should do to relieve my neckache, what i havent studied, or what i just studied, even just b4 i go to sleep. it's interesting how u are thinking when u mug (processing info, and trying to make sense out of it), yet somehow to me it makes everything shallow. makes u more or less a machine trying to swallow information.

7:39 a.m. - 2003-10-14



definitely not my personal best today. but anyway just hope for the best. left 5 marks blank! cant believe it. and i know at least 6 marks gone from MCQ. oh well.

12:19 p.m. - 2003-10-13



after teaching my dad the physics j1 syllabus now i have a pretty bad sore throat... wish i din explain tt much. oh well. just hope i dun get sick...

8:22 p.m. - 2003-10-12



ee sang says: "Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome"

i think it makes the whole idea of dying so much more pleasant. as in the dying part is still terrible of cos but u know it just feels like u're going somewhere else and u just have to bear with it for a while. haha not tt i believe in heaven or anything but yar... quite interesting.

10:16 p.m. - 2003-10-11



ate dinner in front of the tv. and i almost couldnt swallow my food. kept laughing. the gameshow was so funny... well at least they made the actors do funny things. havent had such a great laugh in a few weeks i think. (remember writing this same sentence some time ago...)

anyway just realized tt it's been one year since the bali blasts. so fast! so much has happened...

8:18 p.m. - 2003-10-11



read abt the stockholm syndrome here

8:36 p.m. - 2003-10-10



yesterday i was saying sth abt understanding friendships right. now i have one more conclusion. girls tend to form micelles.

4:20 p.m. - 2003-10-10



i just realised tt it's quite impossible for singapore to succeed as a tourism hub. have been studying tourism (sec 4 geog), and even my pw is somewhat linked to tourism, and yet i havent really noticed the fact tt if we want tourism to provide part of our revenue, we must work really hard. (for our pw we said tt if we can attract ppl to changi for transit they might just stay in singapore for a few days)

just watched this malaysia tourism board video, and can only come to this conclusion. malaysia has everything singapore has to offer. and malaysia also has lots more than what singapore can offer. i seriously dun see why tourists might want to come to singapore. it's almost the same as malaysia, just tt perhaps it looks a bit more developed due to the fact tt singapore is just a city and so money doesnt need to be spent on stuff like highways or railways tt run across the country...

2:53 p.m. - 2003-10-10



gp was much better than expected, considering the fact tt i had no content at all when going in (apart from arguments for/against al punishment). so the essay i thought was rather well written. under exam conditions and everything... haha. no stress at all. could actually write a conclusioN! haha but culdnt finish compre. application question needed just a few more minutes... oh well will plan my time properly next time. wasted much of my time away just stoning and looking at the passage and telling ms lee tt i'm tired. so. today is friday. and i have another 10 days or so to mug. after tt it' SAT/bio o. terrible huh.

anyway it's so sad tt everything we're doing now is determined by cambridge. ever since sec 3 anyway. we learn things to tackle their questions. they might be a good uni but sometimes i just wonder maybe there's a better way of assessment (more interesting questions?). maybe if i did bio under a different system i might like it even better? wuldnt tt be nice? teachers complain abt cambridge questions every now and then dunt they. why dunt moe exams branch just start writing papers for the region or sth. with singapore's reputation maybe it can become a paper which ppl ard the globe would want to take? haha

12:52 p.m. - 2003-10-10



realised tt i'm getting sick of this type of life. just going to school to see everyone mugging. go home and i myself am supposed to mug again. i'll end up slacking 70% of the time, but i'm also getting sick of slacking. haha yar what a terrible life we're leading. was so distracted just now during table tennis. (nowadays i play every day with my dad) not feeling depressed, but just feeling lost and empty.

couldnt play lively/fast pieces properly. as usual played the bach sinfonia which again i chose to end on a minor chord. hm. and i thought i was expressing myself well even in the happier pieces, as in they sounded like what i felt. tried to put some energy in and make myself feel happier but neh it just dint work. sounded really contrived. then played majulah singapura and it actually sounded good. as in i was satisfied with my playing... (cos i really played badly for the rest)

10:47 p.m. - 2003-10-09



released tt i'm panicking. cos of gp. cant really do anything now. just wait and see...

8:14 p.m. - 2003-10-09



was just reading this newspaper article (hk) abt donations tt helped two ppl (one young child suffering from malnutrition, and one old lady who sold her farmland for money to bury her husband). and i was thinking. how fair is this? it's the same for a lot of CIP. is there a way to make sure everybody benefits, and not just make those who used to be underprivileged overprivileged?

3:07 p.m. - 2003-10-09



the virus strikes again. this time the mouse cursor keeps going to the bottom left of the screen, clicking on whatever it passes. !!! apparently it strikes every noon or sth. and so this time somehow i restarted before the windows loading screen loaded, and somehow it worked. well. again backing stuff up. terrible. have to fight every day... ok shall go find it...

2:27 p.m. - 2003-10-09



just went to the balcony to look at the progress of the renovation (?) of the swimming pool. the wading pool's gonna become sth exciting apparently cos they're digging the whole place up. apart from tt nothing exciting. ah but i also managed to see 3 different types of birds fly past me (about 5 metres away?) one small sparrow, one small swift (or sth like tt. had a split, pointed tail), one huge dunno what with huge wings and it just kept circling the estate.

10:40 a.m. - 2003-10-09



i think i've finally understood last yr's compre passage. abt friendships between males, and that between females.

10:40 p.m. - 2003-10-08



ok wow. my comp got infected by a virus. what happens is both the keyboard and the mouse stop working, but the comp is still working. how to prove tt? insert a cd and it will start playing. autorun programs run. everything's fine apart from the fact tt i cant do anything on the comp. so the next step? panick. what abt the notes tt i'm doing on my computer? what abt the chorale accounts? panick again. ctrl-alt-del has no effect.

reboot a few times and still culdnt work. decided to cut it off halfway so tt i culd start in safe mode. doesnt help. still cannot. so i decided. hm let's try my luck. switched it off for 5 min (made no difference actualy) but this time i ctrl alt del countless times after windows started loading. so i tracked which programs were loading and there it was. the culprit known as "unknown" (according to task manager anyway) aha. end its task. and then i culd use the comp. apparently so anyway. so i started backing up files and everything. and suddenly it hanged again. #$%^& as in things still move but the mouse and keyboard couldnt be used.

so of cos i restarted the comp.

this time i culdnt find mr "unknown" but somehow keyboard remained functional. gd, thought hk. but NO it happened again 5 minutes later. this time the cdrw which he was backingup onto could not unmounted properly. even better huh. so restart. decided to use floppy disk instead. safer at least. dunneed to unmount. and so i did. after tt it hung again, i was getting used to it, and was not even panicking any more.

finally i came up with a hypothesis. tt mouse movement deactivates the keyboard (sth tt mr "unknown" was designed for) unplugged mouse and yay here i am blogging. surviving well w/o a mouse. but where is mr "unknown" hiding? dunno. if anyone has any idea pls tell me. i noe he's not in the startup stuff (as in i searched under msconfig.exe) perhaps this cunning guy modified my mouse driver or my keyboard driver...

but anyway at least i've won half the battle against him. haha

3:27 p.m. - 2003-10-08



urgh. cant believe it. just slipped and fell in my very own hse. was heading towards the piano but my dear mum just mopped the floor. and i wasnt even moving quickly. walking much slower than usual.

pretty interesting fall. had 6 points of contact with the ground which stopped me from slipping down the corridor. somehow a bld vessel on my 3rd finger (LH) burst. and a not-very-gd bruise on my right shin. the rest are abrasions. at least my right hand/head were not affected. so i'm glad. but this just reminds me of myself in primary school, when such incidents happened once a wk? u c my hse has a split living/dining room (split by 3 steps) once i slipped down the steps and got my foot stuck under the tv thingie. had trouble taking my foot out after tt... reminds me also of last yr when eng kiat somehow twisted my ankle and i ended up partially lame for a few days.

well. look on the bright side. injuries can be quite memorable.

5:50 p.m. - 2003-10-07



it's amazing. my mum is learning to play the piano. yar. she's amazingly fast i must say (she doesnt even read the score though. she depends on the fingering written there. u noe the john thompson red "First grade book" yup.) and she cant really count. she finds the idea of a dotted minim having 3 times the value that of a crotchet weird at first (cos she kept thinking that i meant 2.5 beats) but in the end after 2 minutes she figured out tt's how u represent 3 beats. smart girl!!! haha yup... one day i'm gonna play duets with her... and my father as well. we're gonna have 6 hands let's see what we can play..

5:31 p.m. - 2003-10-07



i dunno y but suddenly i'm just getting all angry over the number of ppl ponning school. which might actually worsen tml (as in the number of ppl remaining in the class). i must say i dun actually have anything against these ppl. it's just how ppl are staying at home as and when they wish. what's a school for? whether u learn anything, whether u get anything from it, it is not ur choice whether u want to go to school. a school is for u to go to. there are many things which u do which might not be productive, efficient, or watsoever, but u still do them. cant be looking for results/products all the time. if u dun have enuff time to mug, does it mean u can take leave? (oh dear i'm starting to sound like i need time but i wunt pon school so others have an advantage over me) NO. i have more than sufficient time. (so u say "u have more than sufficient time but i dun have time so u SHUT UP". fine. but tt's not the point)

sth really got into me. i'm not quite myself now. such a strong opinion suddenly. i dunno. it's just NOT right. i really hope less ppl wuld do so but i just know tt it wunt happen. prove me wrong.

white slips and parent's letters. u say uh-huh. bcos u can get up to 4 white slips before a pink slip (pls correct me if i'm wrong), it doesnt matter. it bcums a right to miss school for 4 days - more worth than getting them for being late or talking during lectures huh. and anyway u wunt get one if u can get a letter - most parents wuld be supportive anyway - no offense to any parent - i mean seriously why not. if u're going to waste ur time in school. all sounds logical. staying at home sounds like the best choice. but this is using parents to override school authority. the school obviously faces the same problem every year and yet they cant do anything abt it.

if ppl pon sch and they feel bad abt it themselves (which i believe make up a big portion of the ponners or at least so i hope), then why do it?

10:20 p.m. - 2003-10-06



amazing huh. go to school and see only half the class there. i'm glad there wasnt assembly otherwise we're look even more pathetic than 3d tt day. anywway. there was pe! and i had table tennis! boy was it fun!!!!!!! yar ok the first part which was the theory part was sorta ok cos we were watching jing junhong and li jiawei play so at least it was still interesting. the korean girls were like spinning every single ball. anyway. then we played doubles! haha really really fun. i think i really improved. which is good!!! haha so happy. lalala hk is happy. then played with ms poon and we won her (2 against 1 haha)! haha she was so funny.

gp was relatively useful since we did compre and got back our essays. one of the few lessons where we have sth concrete to hold on to. usu everything is so abstract and he'll just go round in circles. not so much today.

of cos the next big thing is orals. ended up not going for bio lecture and stoning ard in the canteen and council room. nice to return to moelc. and bishan of cos. still feels as familiar as ever. i'm still learning the art of not feeling stressed/nervous before exams and i think i'm like halfway there. my eyes were heating up (a sign of me getting stressed), but apart from tt i was fine. realized, tt in a way, u are storing energy into urself by keeping urself stress free, which is then released during the real thing. yup. i'm learning slowly to eliminate stress.

oral was fine. though my presentation was terrrrible? nver have i stumbled so frequently. but yes i guess i still continued. better than like stopping altogether and starting to freak out. conversation was omottayori yokatta. but i culdnt find the right words to use (or rather i din noe the words) and i just stared at them as though the words will come out from their pupils while thinking of an alternative, more elementary way of phrasing it. haha but interesting. i said i wanted to be a physics teacher.

5:50 p.m. - 2003-10-06



chun hui was saying tt i shud update my blog more frequently (*huh?? !!!!!*) and so here i am. (it's so typical of ms hee...)

nothing much today (oops just realized...) went for a hair cut. tt's abt the most exciting thing tt happened. oh wait there WAS sth exciting. i found this whole stack of scores which i thought i misplaced. and it felt so gd to play all of them again (just tt my third finger on right hand had a blister which burst from the tennis game on friday). yup tt's all for now.

8:05 p.m. - 2003-10-05



so sad somehow either the picture disappeared from the server or sth.

anyway had another game of table tennis with my dad... not tt tiring...

6:40 p.m. - 2003-10-04



today's a great day...

started well with this erm physics lecture which was much higher than my expectations so i was sorta happy. then there was pe where i touched the ball a few times. haha usefully ok! anyway. then there was tutorials in ts 18, which was really gd cos usu we go to 2-10 which is such a lousy room. then ghim moh food was quite gd too, and we got back to school on time! (Yay! for once) graph drawing for maths was fun too. and then chem haha was the most fun when i tried video taping ppl's expressions and stuff. intend to make this video of the class in the hols if i can get hold of any editting program. everyones' candid shots. cool huh. today settled qi qiong, wei li, hon lyn, qian li, (rosalynn?), alfred (haha ok fine mr chan). haha hush hush. no video taping devices in school huh. yup dun haf. i used a digital camera not video camera. haha. but anyway our teachers know us well enough to know tt we (or rather I) wouldnt use any of the videos against them (like there's any way we can do tt. not like they'll ever be pissed with our class and start scolding us)

yup then went home, haha was discussing with hon and sunni abt parenting. and perhaps might go to hon's hse for cooking lessons in the hols. reached home to find parents in malaysia. then played tennis with dad. and then table tennis with mum. cool huh. nice day :)

8:48 p.m. - 2003-10-03



just an extension of yesterday's thoughts. the whole idea of extrapolating. we can all imagine: if our eyes refresh slower than they do now, we will see in "slow motion" and motion will proceed in jerky frames. now imagine tt our eyes can refresh faster than they currently do. hm can u imagine what u can see?

had jap listening for promos(?) today. together with the 'a' ppl. how stressful is tt. and it doesnt help tt u try to give all ur concentration (well wateva is left anyway. was so sleepy. or rather still am sleepy) and yet u seem to hear this string of words tt try to make sense to u yet u dunt make sense of them. (ok lar i guess i got the gist of everything, and even wrote down some details here and there, but...) doesnt help either if u cant understand the choices written on the qn paper. well sounds bad doesnt it. haha well. but i guess in the end the score still wunt be that bad. so tt's listening.

on the way home saw a thai car on the road. imagine if u were driving in thailand. one day i'm gonna do tt. drive all the way up to thailand. perhaps china. one day. i'm serious u noe. anyone who wants to join me u're free to do so. i'm really intending to go on a backpack tour. at least once in my life.

anyway it's really gd cos i've been really stress free. cant believe it also. so different from common tests. no sweaty palms, no excessive pumping of heart, no asthma-like symptoms, no fever (yet), nothing. think it's cos i started rather early this yr. 16 days. first time i can say 'perhaps i can finally finish early, and not have to rely desperately on the day directly b4 the exam to cramp stuff - that i've not even come across b4 - into my pathetic memory' yup.

my msg to all who are feeling stressed bcos they think they cant finish mugging. well. try increasing ur efficiency. dun read everything. dun do everything. if u think u know how to do sth, trust urself. or just try one or two. tt'd b more than enuff. it's crazy to try to redo a whole yr's worth of work. (haha quoted from mr wong actually). and i think there might be a need to change ur studying style if u're depending on the mugging-word-for-word method.

finally. read this from a site: when u r placed in a situation and r stimulated suddenly, DON'T REACT. RESPOND.

11:18 p.m. - 2003-10-02



today culd have been a gd day. well. actually all wednesdays are bad days. din do anything much useful. din help tt gp video froze me totally (lt4). couldnt thaw fully so my left hand was sort of damaged by frost. when i went home and tried to play the piano the hand hurt so badly i culdnt continue playing. it was tt bad. after i went for a HOT bath it sorta improved. dunno what happened. i do know however tt my hand had a cramp and i tried to resist it so perhaps some muscle was overstretched or sth.

anyway. the video today made me think. i always find it fascinating to see all tt old technology being described as promising in the ancient videos they let us watch. it's amazing how far technology has come just within this 10 yrs, and it's even more exciting to imagine what is to come in the next 10 yrs. i'm waiting for tt day to come. maybe by then u dun have to type any more, u just have to think and everything will be typed in automatically for u. as it is, voice recognition software is already available. 10 yrs later if i decide to look back at this blog, maybe this wuld be primitive technology. oh and u noe the effects they use in the videos? we can do all of tt using our powerpoints, flashes, directors, with whatever lousy skills we have. 10 yrs in the future we're gonna be able to do everything the tv networks currently do at the click of a button (tt is if u even need to do tt at all). exciting isnt it?

but tt's technology. electronics. music, languages meanwhile have remained relatively unchanged. well this woman was saying sth abt accents and staccatos. tt was abt the only words tt remain relevant today. such is the beauty of languages. (consider music as an universal language will u)

5:48 p.m. - 2003-10-01



hey jing jing... jia you ok... the 'a's are coming soon anyway. will be over soon enough i hope. haha turn-round-and-glare-at-whoever-is-singing-wrongly is sort of my trademark. i sorta get irritated when i hear split notes. though i must say tt recently my singing is really deproving... pitch is getting terrible :S:S very bad. oh well. i think my range is really terrible. haha anyway enuff complaining. i remember tt in rafflesvoices ms chiang and mrs koh had to remind me not to turn ard during syf so tt the judges wunt noe straight away if we got anything wrong haha.

shall we sing ecce together one day? haha very nolstagic song. and it's so interesting to think of this. tt i probably met u and zijing like way back in sec 1 when we were rehearsing at siglap south cc with nelson kwei. oh well but mr toh apparently thinks tt it's a lousy piece cos anyone singing it wuld sound the same (think i've written this on tt day itself), which might be true but anyhow it's our sec 1/2 syf piece!!!)

8:17 p.m. - 2003-09-30



today was a pretty interesting day. somehow very "xiao4" as in "smile".

chem lecture alfie was like "wah i cannot believe this leh. fabulous ah"ing away. then there was the physics lecture when i was tapping my foot and i saw the guy on the screen (through the visualizer) tapping his foot as well. well. so i decided to look and see who it was and then haha it was me! ok sounds spastic. but i really had a gd laugh cos i started waving my hand and everything to check tt it's me. haha cos the visualizer has a lag right, so yar tt's y at first i din identify the person as me. so tt was the first gd laugh.

then had 2 gd laughs during jap. first was when i tried to hint to sensei tt it was really stuffy in the room i.e. he forgot to switch on the air con. haha how did i do tt? we were trying to make sentences with "nazeka" tt means sth like "dunno-why", and so i said, after entering this room, "dunno-why" become so hot. and ming jing saw what i meant straight away and started laughing while our dear sensei was like trying to correct my grammar. hahaha. really funny. anyway. then second funny thing, sobo = grandmother. and we kept saying soba. haha. well. soba wo taberu noga suki desuga, sobo ha itsu tabemono ni narimashitano?

oh haha and apparently candice and yaozong were commenting tt i go ard smiling (for no reason apparently), and they can see my eyes smile (*horror*). means i cant hide my emotions huh. somehow after they pointed tt out i started stoning. so there was this really blank look on my face until when i tried to make a joke during jap lesson... haha nice day anyway. *grinses* now i'm listening to this song called "i love to laugh" from mary poppins. oh it's ok if u've not heard of it i listen to really antique antiques.

it's gd to be a happy person :)

8:03 p.m. - 2003-09-30



hey i just realized. tt i think i really love the j2 chorale batch of ppl... seriously... it just occurred to me tt it hasnt occurred to me tt the j2s are sorta gone from our practices for gd unless they decide to pop in every now and then. they're such nice ppl. each might be different (well. want a definition of different? try seh ling :P) yet nice. and i'm really glad i got to know this bunch of ppl. and yar i'm just happy to know u guys... think i miss u all lots. well. weird for a guy to say this right. in fact i dun think i ever miss anyone much. but this is one batch of extraordinary ppl whom i knew for barely 3 months, and whom i know i will miss. interesting feeling. they feel like a family (esp during farewell party), and i feel really welcomed being a guest.

well. jc's really short. realized tt i myself am in fact near the end of it. barely half u say, but next yr's gonna b hectic. well. even my nov/dec hols are going to be hectic. cant they just spread it out to one more year. friendships wuld be much stronger. apparently not. treasure what u have now. :)

8:40 p.m. - 2003-09-29



ok this is scary. "i poke myself for no reason" "i poke for a reason". haha supposed to be gp now. well.

and i had table tennis just now, sorta learnt sth. haha nice. alright mr khoo's here

9:57 a.m. - 2003-09-29



suddenly i realise i might not want to be a doctor. as in yes i'd like to have tt job but perhaps my body cant take it. as in i cant take stress (both during the studying and during emergencies/surgeries?-tt is if i bcum a surgeon of cos) and then i'd be stuck in nus. perhaps if i do sth else, ah then everything seems simpler. not tt i want to take the simpler way out, i just dun wanna torture myself and perhaps shorten my lifespan. then i can go overseas to study.

why am i suddenly saying all these? i think i'd like to do research in cell biology. we realize tt our teachers sometimes cant provide us with all the answers to what we are studying. why? much is still in the theoretical stage, still undergoing research (and therefore perhaps not in books yet, in journals perhaps). there's no exact explanation yet, yet we bug them for the explanation as though everything in this world is already known and if they dunno we think they dun deserve to be teachers. so researchers are just sitting in the labs looking for answers which they already know. ok wow. researchers-wanna-bes huh... (scolding myself as well actually)

4:02 p.m. - 2003-09-28



realised tt my self discipline is really so bad tt i need to lock myself up to study. literally. i've locked myself in the backyard and i've to like call (using my hp) my parents when i need to drink water/use the comp (like now).

cos i was thinking of where my time goes usually. and here's the story of my life (usu). comes home. opens fridge. takes sth out to eat. goes to living room, sits down, watches tv. goes to fridge again. eats sth. goes to the piano. plays for 1 hr. finishes and decides he's too tired and switches on the comp. stays online for 1 hr. finishes and decides to play the piano for another 15 minutes. goes to the fridge. eats. goes to the toilet. meal time! eats. watches tv. plays piano for 30 minutes. switches on computer. stones another 1 hr. - end of day -

if any of u suffer from such symptoms, i do suggest tt u lock urself up somewhere with absolutely zero distractions. then it'll work.

3:35 p.m. - 2003-09-28



my mugging experience at the corridor outside is pretty gd. been absorbing everything. gd. no more distractions tml. plan is sorta still being followed i guess. yup. gd.

11:41 p.m. - 2003-09-27



i'm highly worried for my jap and gp. tt's bothering me so much tt i cant study. (ok perhaps tt's an excuse huh)... anyway. first day of the plan went ahead fine. let's see if i can follow the plan for the second day (i.e. today)... yup i shalL!!!

8:16 p.m. - 2003-09-27



its quite scary actually. it seems as though all rj ppl are in hibernation or sth. i shall go to my cave then.

8:04 p.m. - 2003-09-26



ok. shall start mugging today. apparently 17 days left (haha issit?) oh well. still have plenty of time. slowly and steadily i'll conquer all of them...

6:10 p.m. - 2003-09-25



wow. havent been posting. been staying up late and dun exactly feel very well now. shall sleep much earlier tonight. and erm yar promos are impt apparently. so i really better study well this time. i hope.

8:48 p.m. - 2003-09-24



ahhhhhhhhhhhh. i feel so guilty............. i watched tv for the whole night!!!!!!! and still haf gp!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,sd !@#$%^&*. ok calm down. but anyway this movie abt losing weight. it must be really hard to try to lose weight. luckily i'm blessed with a cannot-get-fat body.

oh well just finished watching the movie. thought it was pretty gd. i dunno y my mum said she din like it when she went to watch it in the cinema (dunno how many yrs ago). maybe it's cos i havent watched such "romantic shows" for too long. been watching things like she4 diao1 and this other documentary-like show which is abt the late qing dynasty and the japan war as well. anyway. guilt is setting in quick. gp!

10:02 p.m. - 2003-09-21



i'm so going to die for my gp!!

12:18 p.m. - 2003-09-21



haha wow i see the swimming pool being removed bit by bit. quite interesting. they're like trying to get rid of all the tiles now. the pool's abt half filled still. yup. wonder whether i'll use the new pool

5:31 p.m. - 2003-09-20



urgh. stupid msn. cant they just not limit the number of ppl on ur contact list? now i've to find ppl to delete from my list to addd more ppl...

3:26 p.m. - 2003-09-20



sort of nice weather this morning. raining and the temperature's quite comfortable...

10:15 a.m. - 2003-09-20



think i feel a bit better...

our class. i dunno. is it breaking down?

11:22 p.m. - 2003-09-19



sorta feeling strange now. bcos of 3 things. 2 conversations. (now it's 12.20 and both conversations ended ok... as in i was pissed with sunni for a while but later it turned out fine and when i was writing this entry at 10:53 i sorta felt like i erm showed disrespect for christianity or sth. ok no not disrespect. just saying sth like i think tt perhaps one day i'll be a christian but i wunt want to be one as of yet) and a statement. oh well.

10:53 p.m. - 2003-09-19



it's all abt making the best out of whatever u have to do. why go to school thinking tt this is yet another lesson for us to survive through. tt isnt the best u can get out of school. go to school to learn, dun think so much abt oh no i've to mug this for the exams. not tt u dun haf to but dun go in with tt attitude. i think it would be better for everyone... this has prevented me form falling asleep during so many lessons...

6:57 p.m. - 2003-09-17



i'm really taking interest in everything now. somehow. very good. (dint really like it when the teachers started saying : this one not impt, u wunt be tested) but at least i was enjoying the lessons.

7:11 p.m. - 2003-09-16



gd... if only i culd study this way forever... i was doing my jap stuff and i was really finding it fun. din have the pressure of finishing it up (dunno y oso...) but it's a fun way of learning stuff... i think it's sth to do with what i read just now...

10:38 p.m. - 2003-09-15



pardon me but this entry is really really messy. n i'm asking so many qns... (wow spent really a long time writing this.)

someone emailed me this link (click here) quite an interesting read. but it's really long! i dun agree with everything. anyway here are some of my responses after reading the article (quoted stuff are in italics):

1. students are made to stuff things in and vomit them out. eventually all our brain does is tt, to the extent that we refuse to process or absorb. possible? dunno. but it sounds dangerous.
2. do "higher lvl ppl (both external and internal)" get an idea of how the system is working only from observations (sitting in for lessons)? do such observations reflect the true studying environment? perhaps not all the time. then how? but perhaps this is one of the most available primary sources around? can we suggest a better way?
3. "Much knowledge taught in school will go obsolete quickly, if they had not already gone obsolete." - to justify why he thinks content only provides a medium for learning to take place and is not the ends of learning. i think this is really really true. there's always a gap. though they're doing a pretty gd job in trying to minimize it. e.g. stuff like dna tech. but even so. the time it takes for new knowledge to be confirmed, to be written into books, to be written into syllabi, and eventually to reach us, is quite long. it is no wonder why my prof told me not to rely on books too much cos journals are much more updated.
4. as i said in my previous entry. motivation is very important. "desire to complete a self-motivating project or the love of learning for a certain subject can work wonders"
5. "Knowledge exists only when information takes on meaning. The learner must actively construct self-generated answers to relevant questions." can i safely say tt generally we're really constantly looking for answers tt answer tys questions? or at the very least we tend to feel more secure once we get hold of the "model answers". (ok there are definitely ppl who are exceptions. not talking abt u ppl here... and i must also say tt many rj students are really willing to learn for the sake of knowing, not for exams, which is good)
6. are new teaching approaches really just frills? interesting. but i've a strong view abt this (notice tt i've been asking qns and not really answering them. dun really dare to come to any conclusion cos there're bound to be ppl who think otherwise). anyway to me new approaches are good. bcos u approach the same thing differently, and tt wuld give u a better view of the whole thing, makes u understand. at least it works for me.
7. "Teachers rarely explain how the parts fit into the whole" i think they do try to explain. what's being done is sorta acceptable, but i'm sure everyone will be happy if more could be done.
8. "With knowledge comes tests" well. always the case huh. anyone has any creative solutions to this problem? i cant think of any.
8. this guy has views on pw as well! ok wow. scroll down to the "previous entry" cos it's quite long.

The rest here can be taken out of context. not just in the education system.
I. "An education system should focus on doing its job rather than how well it compares with others. If it does it job well, then it will naturally rise to or stay at the top of the list" take pride in doing things at ur best, not to "beat others".
II. "The people running the system call it meritocracy � one would receive rewards according to how well one does in the system. This means if one cannot work with the system, then it is one�s own problem. Because it treats everyone the same, the system always seems to operate fairly."
III. "mindset: The Elders or High-ranking people know better, Only professionals can have the say"
IV. another thing which i once discussed abt. the ever-continuing competition. "One must keep climbing higher and higher. One cannot stop or rest lest other people catch up with one. Only the top of the Mount Everest of success counts, and everyone races towards it. In the blind craze of the competition, few even question why they should participate in the competition, and if they can consider things from another perspective. They hardly wonder if they can change things, but only worry about what lies just ahead of them."
V. "�(Knowing privileged) information is power� goes the adage we know. An oxymoronic concept, �intellectual property�, despite going against the grain of the free nature of information, has gained in influence and popularity as a new industry." singapore and knowledge based economy. hm. r we selling knowledge?
VI. "Nothing just seems good enough. Students must have a �well-rounded� education. On top of scoring high grades, they must keep their bodies physically fit, know about national issues, participate actively in the community, and know about the subjects ranging from science to literature and the law. They also must appreciate the arts. They must learn about creativity and entrepreneurship. The attempt to grab everything will only cause one to end up with nothing. " i've seen real all-rounded ppl, but is it possible for everyone to be so?
his view on the future of schools: "Rather than grade them [the students] and fit them into a uniform category, these schools will cater to their innate differences. Rather than penalize them for their weaknesses the schools will focus on developing their talents. Rather than demand that they conform to the class, the school itself will conform to their unique needs and differences. Education will return to its human roots: a process to help one discover, plot and travel one�s journey in life."

6:46 p.m. - 2003-09-15



from MOE's website, i have extracted what MOE views education as. Education:
Means developing the child morally, intellectually, physically, socially and aesthetically.
Develops each child�s unique talents and abilities to the full.
Teaches him to keep fit and healthy for life.
Teaches him to appreciate the finer things in life and the beauty of the world around him.
Teaches our children to identify Singapore as our home.

Go take a look at the intermediate outcomes as well. Just think about it. Has the system been successful? If some outcomes were achieved, which teacher was it that made it possible? Why werent some other outcomes achieved? since we are in this system anyway why dun we try to gain as much as possible out of it?

then think abt this paragraph from the same website. it sorta disturbs me. (reminds me of the internship course. when u have certain policies u must have some sort of assessment to say tt ok this is working) i dun think i'm in any way "duan4 zhang1 qu3 yi4"ing, but u culd still go over to the website to check it out...
Knowing exactly what we want allows us to assess how well our education system is doing. In the end, it is not what we do nor how much we do that matters. What we have to assess is whether all that we do contributes to achieving the outcomes that we desire.

meanwhile. thinking abt what we discussed during gp today. tt perhaps the main purpose of education in singapore is for employment. my questions are:
1. how many ppl are employed in a job tt requires what they learnt in school/uni?
2. how many ppl do their job with passion? how many ppl do their job bcos tt's what brings in the money to feed them?

6:41 p.m. - 2003-09-15



the guy's views on pw.

Confusing school and work

School and the workplace have very different goals and systems. While school must prepare students for the workplace, it should concentrate more on developing their skills rather than with superficial attempts to emulate the workplace.

The new policy of group project work

The mindset sounds good: Force the students to learn teamwork so that they can develop in a well-rounded manner and cope with corporate hell when they enter the workplace.

In many cases, the teacher would just throw the students in and see if they can swim. He or she could just ignore if two people have very incompatible characters or personal histories and force them to work together.

Group project work tends to equalize the effort put forth and dilutes the effects of the abilities of the individual team member. Once, one could show that he or she had learnt the subject well by preparing an awesome project, but now one would have a few freeloaders sharing the credit. It seems highly unfair for such behavior to occur. Forcing a group project when an individual project could suffice turns the assignment into a situation where one has to handle the burden of socializing on top of project work.

Certain project members have to compromise a lot, including having to do the project at an inconvenient time or location, and having to do a lower quality project (such as when the group decides to slack off to complete a project with inferior quality). They could have avoided this, if not for the requirement that they have to do the project in a group.

This occurs despite a different policy in the workplace. At work, individual performance can hold one accountable in projects. The company can fire team members who do not take their projects seriously. While company policy varies greatly, more enlightened companies will generally allow some freedom to choose competent team members whose skills and character complements each other, than to force a group of incompatible people to work together.

After all, a team with poorly chosen members will have lower productivity. How can a company with sensible HR policies and desiring to reduce costs afford to lose productivity just because it just would not care about the feelings of the employees? When a company spends millions of dollars in consultant fees to graphologists, feng shui masters and motivational trainers, one can hardly consider spending some time to assemble teams that work well together too extravagant a consideration.

4:54 p.m. - 2003-09-15



went to lot 1 for dinner. like first time this yr. dun think i went there wif my family since i moved back. anyway. how coincidental. actually met pat in the ntuc. how small can singapore be...

i realized tt i can be where i am today bcos of my pri sch v.p. if he dint allow me into the school i wuld haf gone to another ulu sch (i was posted to this really really ulu sch) and for all u noe i might not have made it through sec 4. might have been a small decision for him but might have changed my whole life.

8:31 p.m. - 2003-09-14



just had a fun game of badminton :)

5:07 p.m. - 2003-09-14



i just wonder. is my addiction to the piano temporary? i hope not, and i think not. it's really nice to know tt i'm actively trying to find pieces to learn. not tt i'd actually go play pop or jazz for tt matter cos i dun haf any of those scores. but yar even though i have a really limited number of books (let me see. one beethoven sonata bk 1. one bach preludes and fugues. one bach inventions and sinfonias. some schubert from here and there. some other random ppl. erm and watever's in the exam bks) i think they could possibly last me quite long. or i culd simply go and buy one more and tt perhaps will last me another yr. who knows.

but the whole point is this. after i stopped going for lessons, i seem to play more happily. i seem (i wunt know for sure) to learn more quickly. usu for my piano lessons she'd choose the next piece for me. i might like it, but it's still somewhat like doing hw. u hafta work on it and present sth the next wk. and having to finish some hw by a deadline is sth tt nobody likes. but she has her reasons... probably wants me to be exposed to more, and have more chances to correct my technique. tt i think has done me good. i mean she has prepared me well enuff for me to go on learning on my own.

at first i wanted to make this conclusion: tt perhaps teachers should allow us to learn freely, learn what we want, and consult them when we have queries. sounds like an ideal learning environment but isnt too feasible. so my new conclusion is, the role of teachers is not just to teach what they know. (well. some dunno enuff do dey but it doesnt matter, cos -->) their job should be to guide us and inspire us to learn sth, powered by our own interest. only then will we remain motivated for a long time to come... one thing to note. the lessons do not have to be interesting.

how many teachers can do tt?

3:54 p.m. - 2003-09-14



somehow my imagination last night was really powerful. a combo combo dream. amazing. so many things (or rather, ppl?) were featured.

first, somehow my parents were building an overhead bridge across this river. and somehow jie ming was involved in this construction. but whatever the case i guess he wasnt really there, cos after some time when i realized tt the bridge was badly constructed (middle portion of bridge wasnt put properly onto a pillar. btw it's mostly made of wood), only my parents were on it, and when i told them they said it's very safe and started swaying the bridge. which of cos as in all dreams doesnt ever fall. i was holding very tightly to the sides, cos i was sure it wasnt safe. it was scary. but i just wonder. perhaps if i knew it was a dream and i decided to let go, or i decide to just jump off for the fun of it, what would happen? the dream would stop?? haha cos the brain cant imagine what it would be like?

then after i got off this bridge i participated in this singing competition. well. weird. it was in a big concert hall, but a small grp of us (includes conrad and alex, cant remember the rest) were singing to a few judges in a small room. we were in pitch but the overall performance wasnt too impressive. this was heard "live" by the audience in the big hall as i found out later when i went back into the audience and heard the next grp. (part of 4P was in the audience)

after tt i think i went off to bugis for dinner or sth. on the way to wherever i wanted to go i met ppl (whom i'll meet in the morning at the chorale table, clar, candice, jan) at a bus stop, and they were apparently heading for the competition. weird. then i met my so3f friends there who then went with me for dinner.

after i went home i realized my parents installed this really powerful light switch in the living room. it's just one button, but depending on where u press it, different lights (around ur hse) are switched on. so basically i can control all the lights in the hse, e.g. b4 i go to my room i've the choice of switching it on first so tt when i go in i can see everything.

a pretty interesting dream, featuring quite a wide variety of ppl...

9:44 a.m. - 2003-09-14



i think it's very interesting how my thinking is actually being influenced by physics. just now when i was pushing the trolley at carrefour the fact tt friction was acting against the trolley seemed very natural. i dunno. are there still ppl who think tt the trolley stops bcos they stopped pushing it?

i saw a few live crabs just now, and i was thinking of how they'd eventually arrive on a plate with their armour in a nice bright red. or rather, more specifically, of what they're thinking of, cos i'm almost sure tt they know they wuld be killed soon. what is going through their brains? ok maybe the brains of crabs aint tt developed. what about beef. tt poor bull/cow must have struggled. or did it? or did it resign to fate? what a sad life. why is it tt we find eating human meat disgusting, while eating beef and wateva normal meat is fine. why? i can see why some ppl want to be vegetarians.

10:09 p.m. - 2003-09-13



this is hilarious... some of the newest keywords which ppl used to reach my blog:
after school chinese tuition for kid in hk
bishan driving range
god chem prac faith prelims

and den the ppl whom they were searching for, but in the end reached my blog:
silvanus lee
hong qian tai
Chan Ter Yue (look at this)

interesting huh. really. there's always some entertainment in store...

2:08 p.m. - 2003-09-12



i find it quite sad tt sweden's foreign minister has died. i dunno y, but her death does make me sadder than the death of the iranian twins... *wonders y*

11:57 a.m. - 2003-09-12



i suddenly have this belief tt we shud hand in our tutorials.

yes tutors are bz i absolutely agree. and yes students are bz too i agree. but handing up will let the tutors know how each student is actually doing. are lecture tests enough? i wonder. for maths at least the teacher can monitor each student's progress bcos of the existing assignments. look at bio. or chem. how wuld we know if our presentation is right? or if we din get the right answer with the wrong method or the longest way possible?

ok wateva. maybe it's just cos i've not been doing my tutorials...

11:45 p.m. - 2003-09-11



spent much of today away from work... feel rather guilty now.

5:26 p.m. - 2003-09-11



just played a game of badminton. at home. how pathetic can tt be... haha. but enuff to have some fun...

let's hope i can do some useful things today...

12:35 p.m. - 2003-09-11



i wonder what the effect of jc education is on kids. ok maybe i shudnt call ourselves kids. as in how ppl (if they do) change when they come into jc... maybe u ppl culd leave a small note to tok abt ur own experience / say what u've observed...

10:55 p.m. - 2003-09-10



forgot to say this. for once i am discouraged from mugging in school. usu i tend to work better in school right. but not in rj. totally demoralizing. ppl with stacks of notes in front of them and saying things like i haf another 15 minutes for these 8 pages... they all sound so prepared. rj students are quite amazing. play hard work hard.

so no since i dun have to go for any more bio o or watsoeva tt requires me to go to school, i shall stay at home. productivity at home has risen anyway. better than in bishan i shud think. or perhaps tt's cos i'm comparing with my lagging period. oh well wateva. at least make myself feel better tt my productivity is high at home... :D

10:20 p.m. - 2003-09-10



after the inspirational internship "course":

first. is it true tt singaporeans cant be team members? (i din say this... just quoting from mr karmal who quoted from citibank)

second. how many ppl actually have passion in whatever they are doing as their career?

6:48 p.m. - 2003-09-10



i conclude i cant smile in front of any camera. was trying to take some passport photos but none of them turned out ok. urgh.

7:17 p.m. - 2003-09-09



To some extent, the difference between pupils from the mainstream and those who went through the GEP is discernible. This can be observed in JC classes. Ex-GEP students tend to think more critically, and are more willing to ask questions. (Of course there are always introverts who might naturally not be as outspoken) But that does not mean that mainstream students do not think critically.

Interestingly, it is possible for ex-GEP students to tell whether another student has gone through the GEP. I believe that it is the way we think (in non-academic areas as well) that distinguishes us. In my opinion, the GEP might have enriched all of us in some way or another, but it might not have done as great a job as it ought to be doing considering the time/money/staff invested into the programme. The �products� of the GEP have certain �features� (which are often used to measure the success of the programme) probably because the �raw materials� �filtered� during the selection tests already have these �features�. (though possibly in "miniature")

Can i pls request ppl to respond to this post... tt's the whole reason why i changed back to this template... to get back my comments link and tagboard

let me just clarify tt this post was entry my response to a survey being done by this ex-ri-gep teacher otherwise known as ms lee who is doing her thesis on the singapore gep system. i din write this all of a sudden...

4:53 p.m. - 2003-09-09



when walking to school this morning saw this girl with a pony tail in front of me. and guess what. there was resonance. it was swaying from side to side at the same frequency as her walking pace... cool huh.

think ms teh is quite a gd teacher. and she's abt the only teacher (not teaching english or gp) who makes an effort to use proper english all the time.

12:43 p.m. - 2003-09-09



i'm so glad tt i'm enjoying bio o... i'm finding interest in everything they're teaching me so far. gd.

shall try to achieve as much as i can today again... hopefully it'd be a lot! yeah but physically i am tired. my body tells me so... my reflexes have slowed down.

anyway today's my father's bday. yup. the whole family is growing older together. quite sad in a way...

8:29 p.m. - 2003-09-08



i feel highly stupid. it just occurred to me what the significance of d/dx (e^x) = e^x is. it's really quite cool actually. the gradient at whatever value on the curve y=e^x is equal to value itself!! haha ok go ahead and tell me i'm stupid.

4:12 p.m. - 2003-09-07



it's really shocking. my mother is like wondering what's wrong with me, asking me why i'm actually looking at my notes. (she's used to me reading them only a day b4 the exam, though this time it's to recover from my lag not to revise for promos yet). and she got a shock when i said the exams are in oct.

3:02 p.m. - 2003-09-07



it's a crazy 3 to 4 months ahead for me... i was thinking abt it for so long tt i culdnt sleep for abt an hr or so...

anyway yup today went for big walk early as in EARLY in the morning... handphone/watch rang at 6.00 and 6.10 but i heard neither. finally woke up at 6.35, and it was a mad rush to kallang. not an exciting walk but we had quite a number of photos... of us in pink. saw shioya sensei there. he thought it wasnt interesting. sad huh. anyway we went to the esplanade / merlion on the way, and ended up at lau pa sat. terrible food there. i suspect tt all the stores there are given commission for buying MSG or sth... at least the dessert lady gave generous servings of the liao4 for my ice kacang.

took 700 home, was really quite fast, 35 minute trip... was tired so slept all the way, had a headache when i woke up... shall rest now.

2:08 p.m. - 2003-09-07



it's crazy. 6th dec SAT. 7th dec JLPT. bu4 si3 cai2 guai4.

3:46 p.m. - 2003-09-06



after tt review of the whole term i cleared up my room/files. and the official thickness of undone stuff stands at 9mm. about one quarter the thickness of bio o notes received today. working towards reducing it quick. basically i've to convince myself tt i'm in control and so will recover from the lag.

meanwhile was thinking abt <> and realized there's no point in talking. next term i'm gonna be an active player.

11:00 p.m. - 2003-09-05



(finally decided to start a new page, for a fresh start. after one whole page for term 3...)

just realized... tt i've led a lagger's life since the end of last term. through the june holidays, until now. quote: 2003-07-24 @ 8:03 a.m. missing so many lectures/tutorials nowadays. bcuming such a slack person. help!!! buck up. (and look now i can actually go for lessons w/o doing tutorials w/o feeling guilty or watsoever. look at how far i've come...)

now i'm finally recovering from it. and the interesting thing is. it is actually possible to lead a lagger's life. seriously. i've not seriously suffered in any way. not yet anyway. up till now nothing bad has been reflected in my results. i seem to know my stuff. which is good.

but tt doesnt mean tt i'll continue to lead a lagger's life forever. i'd nver have imagined myself to be such a person, but hey i've experienced it and no thankyou i dun want any more of this. yup. weeks and weeks of slacking and basically just listening in class to understand (though perhaps at times the other ear is open as well and so it comes out after 1 day?)

Overview of this term

some changes to habits:
going for chorale early (instead of being always slightly late). getting fetched by dad and going to the chorale table every morning. stopping piano lessons. not bringing jacket/water bottle to school any more. started paying attention during lessons. testing my limit. (intellectually and physically - later sleeping time). relatively less time on the comp

some changes to thoughts:
it seems tt i have stopped seeing my future as a fixed, boring one. i'll just see what i'll do as and when opportunities come by. there seems to be more possibilities. e.g. me going back to hk. and there's some degree of excitement to that.
really start to respect mr wong.
school's a waste of time, and started losing interest in studying for a short while

some significant events:
piano exam. syf. farewell party. theatreworks cip. guitar concert. greenwave. pw. jap. mars observation. relativity talk. day out with ri friends on teacher's day. a tragedy in school.

things related to me:
my letter to straits times forum got published. kowloon club scholarship. grandma passed away. hyper day with me saying "i hate bio questions". ran into ee sang (National day). quite a lot of chorale accounting / photo-related stuff. changed template again and again.

the people
had a few really good chats with friends. (with some confiding) got to know a few ppl better. had conversation sessions with 3f ppl discussing <> aka X as well as how the whole class has quite a number of ppl who arent actually feeling happy.

overall i think i'd say tt i passed this term well. hopefully next term wuld be better...

9:42 p.m. - 2003-09-05


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