hongking's Diaryland Diary



bio o. 35mm of notes. what else. nice floorball today. ah. and got rather irritated during pe but since i'm not irritated any more i shall not tok abt it. big walk on sunday. mon tue wed bio o / bio lesson / class bbq. tt's abt all the rest of the hols are free!!! yay.

8:38 p.m. - 2003-09-05



i have faith in myself tt i can finish doing my jap essay tonight. or rather. start and finish. haha as usual huh. but at least this time all the background research has been done. i dunt want to end up copying and pasting a bit from here and there. determined to write some stuff on my own...

10:14 p.m. - 2003-09-04



not much to say today. just tt i really liked the maths teacher. she stimulated our thinking so well.. wonder how much more ATP she produces per second than us though... but yar i really wanted to thank her after the lesson. sadly we dint. compared to normal lessons when u thank bcos it's part of the routine. this time i really felt like i learnt sth and i wanted to thank her for that...

8:57 p.m. - 2003-09-04



what a terrible day. ok i recall myself saying tt it was a beautiful day and all but i wasted all my time away. stupid hk.

11:52 p.m. - 2003-09-03



today's a pretty beautiful day. moon in the blue skies. nice wind. nice temperature. low humidity. doesnt feel like singapore. yup. what's more u get to get home early.

anyway i was thinking of how our childhood is like. and how our parent's childhood was like. and how our children's childhood would be like. must be really different... cant imagine how it wuld be like...

i just read nita's blog and she said we shud start mugging. oh well. i'm starting to recover from my lagging. and sat. help.

5:00 p.m. - 2003-09-03



i'm highly impressed with myself for being so self-disciplined tonight. keep it up!

10:46 p.m. - 2003-09-02



this morning's rain was so impossibly heavy. there were puddles all over the place, and 3(!) times water was splashed onto the car's windscreen as though someone poured a whole bucket of water at one go, blocking our vision of the road. so dangerous. luckily we kept a safe distance away from the next car.

anyway waves are very interesting things. u can attempt to view an animated stationary wave from different perspectives. either 2d, or 3d (and in 3d there are a few ways of visualizing it as well)

6:44 p.m. - 2003-09-02



am feeling so sticky and stinky now. sorta finished all i culd for pw. let's hope for the best tml.

11:55 p.m. - 2003-09-01





pw is driving me crazy.



pw is driving me crazy.


9:25 p.m. - 2003-09-01



conclusion: pw as a grp is a waste of time. u say: ?? i say yes.

6:43 p.m. - 2003-09-01



so sad. my mother is suffering from insomnia, yet i'm struggling to keep awake reading chan ter yue's notes. (just took another 15 minute nap? bcos of his highly effective sleeping pills)

2:27 p.m. - 2003-09-01



heard the 1st-of-each-month-sound just an hr plus ago. and changed the template. removed tag boards, and comments not working, so nobody wuld be able to leave any comments at all. back to the very primitive times...

1:38 p.m. - 2003-09-01



pw kills. beware.

anyway saw weizhen on the 700 which i happened to take. apparently she saw me and i saw her and we just din dare to say hi to each other (cos she was talking on the fone and she thought i din see her). but anyway seeing a primary school classmate is always so different from seeing a jc/sec sch classmate. somehow it feels like it's supposed to be more rare. though i dun see why.

11:00 p.m. - 2003-08-31



vim (my father's colleague in bangkok) is now in singapore and we brought her ard singapore this morning. tian fu gong and wateva attractions. ah yes wan qing yuan. i recommend this place to all interested in sun yat sen. quite interesting. now doing pw.

pw in ri has always been more efficient than any other project at home, but it's still tiring

5:10 p.m. - 2003-08-31



i think i'm deriving my happiness/motivation to work from sources that are too unreliable. would be safer if i diversify my resources. not just the same kind... yup.

8:33 p.m. - 2003-08-30



very tired. played tennis last night w/o warming up/cooling down, slept so late last night and woke up so early this morning. and culdnt even sing falsetto at all this morning. just went on cracking and cracking. in fact my whole range was shifted down somehow... could reach low low D or Eb... unsuccessful attempts at ecce, which mr toh later on said was a terrible song. (which of cos we wuld refuse to believe.. we love it so much dunt we... but i guess he's right. every choir who gets the notes right will produce the same sound)

today's lunch was slightly more exciting than usual, since we went to another coffee shop and i had a worm that was dyed green in my soup. and the person said dun worry it's just a veggie worm. i was like ok if u say so. i still drank the soup since i thought nothing too bad could happen to me... i hope.

combined session was terrible cos our section was only 3 strong? wait it became 4 strong after sing yong came back. but still weak. after some time cos i din drink water my throat got really quite dry. but anyway. diaphragm was having a really great workout... was really tired at the end. slept thruout my bus trip...

alright some more (some more? havent done much actually haha) pw tml...

oh yar okaasan sent me another letter!!!!!!!

5:39 p.m. - 2003-08-30



our singing in the ri clock tower really brightened up my day sing yong thanks a lot...! music does wonders...

today was really fun with matthew/sing yong/reubs. just hanging ard, visiting bras basah complex, bowling (and i got 154... haha first time in my life fluke 3 strikes at once)... yeap.

i was so impressed by the guy serving me @ burger king. i said no when he asked me whether i wanted any drink and he automatically offered me water!! such "wow" service. really really impressed. keep it up!

and i think i like jelita. such a small mall yet i think it's very nice... i'd very much prefer such a home-like mall to bkt panjang plaza.

9:53 p.m. - 2003-08-29



actually. dunno why i was in such a non-good mood oso. a shower made me feel better. maybe i'm just tired. anyhow it does nobody gd to be in a bad mood so i shall just recover from it.

to tok abt other stuff today: was released early from 2 lessons. had an interesting talk on relativity. thought-stimulating. light travels at the same speed to any observer - wat a profound statement. received my rmp cert.

10:55 p.m. - 2003-08-28



am i a social creature?

i dunno. i just know tt i felt terribly lonely just now. just floating abt and floating abt. not in a gd mood.

i culd very well haf just walked ard on my own and walked ard on my own but i just wasnt in the right mood. i culd haf very well started to think abt things and enjoy the privacy tt i get, but i wasnt in the right mood. i dunno what the hell is wrong wif me.

i'm in no moood to do anything.

and i dun even noe why i'm not in a gd mood.

wateva. fullstop.

10:15 p.m. - 2003-08-28



suddenly took out a few fotos to look at (RI) and listened to "may u always", just makes me think of ri days. i think they were gd. yar. and rj is gd for me so far as well, if not for the fact tt i'm getting really slack.

anyway just finished greenwave. took abt 1+ hrs?? not really worth my time but yar still finished it...

9:17 p.m. - 2003-08-27



just wondering. what would i be if i had a religion. would i be very different?

apparently i'm bcuming more active in class nowadays. wang ning says he has observed tt. wonder y.

7:06 p.m. - 2003-08-27



time passes ultra quickly actually. look it's already 26th august. i really want to relive this year...

11:32 p.m. - 2003-08-26



was thinking abt how i actually learn very fast these days. and i realize... tt i'm actually testing my own limit. yes tt's exactly what i'm doing. just like how i always push my limits. like waking up later and later in the morning and seeing what is the latest time tt i've to leave the hse to reach school in time. i just wonder when i'll break down. i dunno. cos i'm not reaching tt as of yet. but yar it's almost like trying to find
lim . x�

anyway i think my leaving of rj/singapore has become a more real possibility. not tt i want to leave, but there now exists a possibility. i nver ever thought of leaving until seeing so many ppl leave. which is when i realize. after all i'm not born here. if these who were born here leave, there's no reason tt my leaving is weird. seems normal to me... i dunno... no but i dun want to leave just yet. i dunno. issit even a possibility? wateva. i'm just going ard in circles.

9:22 p.m. - 2003-08-26



the tests werent quite as bad as i expected them to be. so i was right. there wasnt really a need to study. as usual for rj tests huh... no wonder i wasnt exactly panicking as much yesterday (even though i was like stuck at some tutorial qn) as the day b4 my history 'o's when i just started on wendy clark.

anyway today's pw made me feel so bad. first of all our grp really sux. (i'll leave it up to u to decide how to interprete tt. but i am not attempting to say what u are thinking of... haha) but yar a lot of talk no action. if tt summarizes everything. and i'm totally guilty of tt of course. actually wait christelle is very on and does all her stuff... our file aint gd either. alright enuff of pw.

anyway was thinking abt how school wastes students' time. u can say no it is a place meant for u to learn, but looking at the situation now, how many ppl actually gain from tutorials/lectures? guess school has bcum very much a place where u meet ur friends and u tok and so on... not so much for learning.

had a nice nice chat with ee sang and bena / whoever was there during the break. not tt we were talking abt nice things... i think as a class, we do look out for each other, which i think is really gd... keep it up 3f, though this aint the 3f i knew in the first 3 months... i want my 3f back!!!!!!!!!!!! yar i dun exactly like the changed 3f.

8:26 p.m. - 2003-08-26



just blog surfed and saw a few more ppl whom i know... some ri geps as well as some other ppl. unexplored territory for me... the arts side sorta. yes tt's right it's mostly art ppl. u can actually see differences in the way they think. we are more pragmatic shall i say.

there's so much to explore when blog surfing. reading thoughts of ppl from all over singapore (though it looks like i can only find links to sec sch/jc ppl)

but of cos on the other hand i also wonder. how much time students invest into writing in their blogs. whether it is an alarming phenomenon. or perhaps it really does help in some ways?

6:26 p.m. - 2003-08-25



2 main things today.

first of all. had a discussion amongst our classmates abt the following ppl: baoluo and X otherwise known as < >. one is stressed while the other follows the "sure-win formula for irritating ppl" (quoted from evelyn) anyway actually i think eric looks stressed out/tired as well... take care ok eric.

second. i miss the humanities. i think i'd very much love to go for an econs or history or geography lecture any of these days. just to get a change. it's getting monotonous. now it's all abt science. maths. calculations. perhaps bio is slightly more interesting with its stories here and there, but chem and physics are really getting boring. i mean ok it's nice to learn abt new things i guess but after some time, it feels like u're just dumping more facts into urself, and i dun see how these can eventually help u in ur life. i think i'm sort of starting to think like a scientist. i mean if i face a problem i culd expect myself to find some experiment to determine what exactly is wrong with me.

if there is anything significant abt my getting sick of the sciences (as pure sciences), it just shows tt perhaps i'm not suitable for pure research. who knows.

but then again, i'm not exactly sick of them. it's not as though i dun want to touch the sciences at all. perhaps it's just the way tt we're being taught tt i'm sick of. it's so exam-orientated. most of the time we are taught what is listed in the syllabus, and to tackle the questions to get the marks. nurie is smart isnt she, she's getting away from this cambridge-style learning... i think i really want to go for some geog lessons... haha well. let's see how things go

5:44 p.m. - 2003-08-25



was thinking abt how special singapore is. a chinese-majority population in the middle of nowhere. nver did notice the significance of this fact until today.

2:22 p.m. - 2003-08-24



i'm how slow... took the whole morning to finish up physics. but nvm. WORK HARD HK! anyway i've visitors from countries beginning with everything but D,E,L,O,P,Q,R,V,W,X,Y,Z. looking forward to visitors from: denmark, egypt, luxembourg, oman, phillipines, qatar, russia, vietnam, western sahara, yemen, zimbabwe...

10:50 a.m. - 2003-08-24



quite interesting dreams...

probably bcos i was dealing with so much money yesterday, i dreamt of money. there was this weird stall in the school canteen sellling only agar, at like $1 each. i decided to buy 2 but i took out $24??? the auntie started laughing at me, and so did some other friend who was standing next to me. then had a conversation with the auntie, which made us late for lecture.

this was then linked to pw (our actual interview ate into the chem lecture), where i went to dinner (setting: hong kong. meet all the elderly relatives. it was like one whole table of old ppl) and saw xuxu on the next table, and she was like scolding me for not doing pw. but i was telling her tt meeting relatives was more important than pw.

7:46 a.m. - 2003-08-24



7am to 9pm. haha ok shall start doing my hw.

10:46 p.m. - 2003-08-23



was ultra hyper today. ultra ultra. a few classmates commented:"anything wrong wif u today?" perhaps bcos my fridays are usu meant to last till 7+ and i'm not used to the fact tt the day is so slack, and also cos there's no pe... started early in the morning in bio tutorial by saying (apparently ppl culd see my anger) tt i hate answering bio questions <--- (these are my exact words) and i guess ms lee was sorta stunned. I HATE ANSWERING QUESTIONS WHICH ASK U ABT STH AND YET EXPECT U TO WRITE ABOUT OTHER STUFF TO GAIN THE MARKS. I HATE THEM. well i actually paid attention during bio lecture as well. and erm throughout GP as well!! realized tt when u want to hear sth u can hear it even when everyone ard u is chatting away. cos was having dis discussion with mr khoo abt medical ethics. anyway think mr khoo's quite disappointed wif me cos i was like "this is the first out of the last 10 lessons tt i paid full attention"... haha well but at least i did. one of the other points we discussed was how singapore basically works on pragmatism, and how a decision is just based on whether the benefits outweigh the risks/costs. so pragmatic yar... in a way sad, but one of the most sustainable ways of running a country i guess... dunno.

and sth interesting i noticed today: when someone's in a precarious position, u try to alert him/her, but he/she gets into an even more dangerous position than b4 in trying to respond to ur alert. so what should we do? when somebody is in danger, dun shout for his/her name. proceed with ur instruction immediately!!! otherwise yue4 bang1 yue4 mang2.

i thought a racial riot was abt to break out during the s-cube seminar just now, with both a malay and an indian student trying to say tt hey there are so few malays and indians in the top ranks.

when i reached home i saw 8 ppl waiting at the backgate. decided to just sit down at the HDB void deck and see how these ppl are going to get in/out. in the end one person came and opened the door... so what's the point of the lock har? cant this ppl just go get their keys...

6:04 p.m. - 2003-08-22



actually i think i've been really successful in my attempts to pay attention and digest during lectures. and now time management is actually not bad too. rather efficient. very good boy hk... :)

11:05 p.m. - 2003-08-21



hm today was a rather efficient day for me. did pw very very quickly + got the interview done. did some tutorials. decided on jap oral topic like in 10 minutes. very very well. hope i recover from my food poisoning (i'm assuming it to be tt unless otherwise proven), and hope seh ling can come out in time for her prelims, since apparently her body seems fine...

9:31 p.m. - 2003-08-21



it's really really weird. it just hit me tt my grandma died like a few weeks ago. now suddenly i'm feeling tt hey i've lost a family member. i dunno how to describe what i'm feeling now. not exactly sad i guess, cos after all i culdnt have been very close to her, we are separated by the huge pacific ocean, yet on the other hand i look at the younger times when she brought me ard (in hong kong), i recall in 2000 when i went to US/canada for a trip and actually i knew tt was gonna be the last time i'd see her face to face alive, and how i've still spoken to her a few times be it chinese new year, her birthday, and even just a few days b4 her tubes were removed. (tears are coming out now). to just recall how healthy she still sounded when she spoke into the phone. oh well.

11:46 p.m. - 2003-08-20



i wonder why there seems to be less and less news on the newspapers nowadays. weird huh.

i'm not exactly tt sick any more but i'm not well yet. bad condition. i culd bcum sick again any time.. i wish i was still sick today and when i finally recover i am totally recovered.

recently received the jugas prize, on which my name was written, followed by "raffles institution". think i miss ri.

think the national anthem is slightly warped. cant seem to sing in tune with it. either tt or i'm not warmed up in the morning.

bio o was simple at first but due to constant acceleration the speed bcame slightly unmanageable at the end. anyway it's getting me into tt rushing mood. very good. and i just realized tt i usu only have 3 hrs at home if i want to sleep at 11. so. actually it means tt i must do more work in school, considering all the rest of my hrs awake are spent in school.

finally. think of what infinity means to u. compare the "magnitude" of infinity in the following cases: how far infinity is from us (in terms of distance, where gravitational potential is considered to be zero), how many lines are diameters there are in a circle - also infinity. yet the second one seems smaller than the first. to me at least.

7:46 p.m. - 2003-08-20



in the library now, missing pe due to my unwellnesss... anyway was reading the newspapers, found two articles (not from today) which made me think.

Referring to a typical Singaporean's attitude towards the Mariott bombing: "It was, after all, over there. In any case, there are other more pressing things to attend to: there's that report to finish, that deal to make, that bill to pay... And besides, it's not going to happen here... In any case, Singapore's not like Indonesia. THe Government's on its toes, police are on guard... So no worries." Are we guilty of having this attitude. or wait. is it sth to be guilty of? why is it tt we're not bothered abt things happening ard us?? As it is the region isnt doing very well: Prisoners escape from a Manila jail, there was a failed coup attempt also in the Philippines, and other stuff in Myanmar, Vietnam + a water row bet Singapore and Malaysia. of course elsewhere in the world there'd be problems as well, but we must be aware tt "we are not isolated or immune just bcos we're separated by an expanse of sea. and singapore cant change her geography". -- things in quotes from straits times article by paul jacob

a parliament discussion over the ne line: the thing tt struck me most was this comment by a mdm lee (a mp) "but why didnt the authorities seek feedback first? it would have saved a lot of trouble and the need for mps to have late night dialogue sessions..." i think this is the case for many many issues, but at the same time mr yeo (cheow tong) is in a way right. he says tt a dialogue session is probably not useful if u cant get everyone's opinion. so perhaps we shud try and suggest how they can go abt collecting feedback before we keep accusing tt they dun try to get feedback from the public before making a decision.

10:01 a.m. - 2003-08-20




was feeling terrible on the car just now... after bathing it's slightly better though. but yar. sleep.

8:30 p.m. - 2003-08-19



very gd. tonight/today so far has been very useful. anyway i think i'm addicted to the piano.

8:18 p.m. - 2003-08-18



i'm really starting to get sick of <>'s nver ending desire to win. or rather. not being able to lose. terrible to be in the same team as <>. tt's wat i feel. but others will feel sth different perhaps. perhaps ashamed is a very strong word, so i wunt use it, but whenever we lose i always want to say i dun noe <>.

6:28 p.m. - 2003-08-18



i've just decided to expand my making-use-of-time policy... to home!!! yup why make use of time only in school? use it wisely at home too! hahahehehoho (going mad?)

5:15 p.m. - 2003-08-18



two main things. i think i've finally managed to pay attention during lessons and make the most out of them. yay. feels gd. next aim shall be to sleep early. or even to do hw in advance... i can do it!! yay.

the other is. sometimes i wonder if i'm really too gullible. whether the kids at salvation army are tricking me into thinking tt they have no homework. perhaps they are perhaps they arent. but i can tell tt they dun like their teachers who scold them for no particularly good reason. poor children. or wait are they tricking me...

4:56 p.m. - 2003-08-18



my entry was just deleted again. after i typed it into the tansistas blog. urgh.

basically at theatreworks now, just finished my ppt, feels like i've gone there.

and bena's bus stop is interesting cos when a bus passes by u can feel the ground vibrate. so i dun get bored when waiting for her mum to pick me up.

170s waste SBS's resources. there were 3 of them at the same part of the road this morning. it was like taking a taxi, just tt it costs only $0.45

finally. y are we now known as geppers when we've called ourselves geps for the past 4 yrs. evidence of the influence of rg girls in rj. at least i still call myself a gep.

anyway i think the theatreworks place is quite nice. old and messy yet cosy.

5:17 p.m. - 2003-08-17



wasnt exactly shocked to see hanyang as the secretary... he shud do a great job... go hanyang!!!

who holds the other posts? i wuld like to noe...

9:04 a.m. - 2003-08-17



sth interesting happened!!! water supply was cut like when i was bathing. exciting huh

12:46 a.m. - 2003-08-17



i just realized. i've grown cold-resistant. dun really need my jacket tt much any more. wuld be more comfortable with it but can survive w/o it...

8:51 p.m. - 2003-08-16



the way ppl reach my page never fails to amuse me...

Beethoven Opus 10 (like why on earth)
Yukun blog
semitones cents percentage calculator
christine chorale rjc(hmmm must be some person trying to search for her blog huh)
lim jee nee(hm since when did i mention her)
singapore elina(hey elina how are u in vj?)
joshua lai

actually perhaps i'm interpreting this wrongly. they din reach my page from these searches. they searched for these b4 typing in my address to look at my blog. but even so it's rather interesting. but haha now u noe tt everything u do on the internet can be traced... dun even need any special software or wateva. just a javascript thingie.

6:17 p.m. - 2003-08-16



isnt it irritating when u were thinking of sth, and u 4get it, and den u happen to remember it again the next day, but u din write it down anywhere and then u forget it again... i hate this... i was sure it was sth important... :(

anyway this morning b4 going for chorale i was waiting at the bus stop and i started singing sound of music songs and wow this other old man there tried to harmonize. such is the power of music, breaking down barriers between total strangers.

i think tt singapore's roads are getting overcrowded with cars. traffic jams used not to be so common. gradually however they are bcuming part of our life. at this rate we'll bcum bangkok soon... what's happening to COE and ERP and all the disincentives? they dun work any more?

anyway i feel so out of contact with this world, just found out like a moment ago tt so many cities in US/Canada had a blackout. must be quite pissifying to haf a blackout when u're typing a blog entry haha. but anyway i must really really read newspapers...

finally. i thought mr toh sort of did the right thing by setting the tone right for the rest of the yr. we dun want to be just another play-play cca where we just do it for the fun. there shud be an equal amt of fun as the amt of satisfaction u get from producing music. my view is it's probably balanced now, so we just have to add on to both sides of the balance. it's definitely possible :)

so, to summarize mr toh's points: (cos i knew it wuld go in one ear and come out the other - hm same as in lectures - i wrote down some of his key points. hopefully the whole choir can work together to achieve a common goal...)
1. To be disciplined
2. To be focused
3. To make music without feeling stress
4. To make full use of the time there
--- To make full use of sectionals so that we are sure of our singing
5. To be proud of the singing

and yes i sang alto for the (oops what's the title... Matona mia cara). to me it was actually easier to singing certain tenor parts... cos my range is really awkward. what a terrible range. ok yup tt's all for now... gd day to all

5:56 p.m. - 2003-08-16



look. saw this in wang ning's essay. teachers set themselves aflame to illuminate the way for us. how noble!! i really think so. if only all teachers were like tt!!!

11:25 p.m. - 2003-08-15



had a pretty long day, though w/o jap. erm chem prac was interesting but the results were simply too screwed up. oh yes physics lecture managed to go through without sleeping at all (so proud of myself) cos i din bring lecture notes and probably cos i slept relatively earlier last night... apart from tt... nothing much

had some geog soc stuff which well din get very far... haha sad...

finally guitar concert. and haha i thought zhini abandoned me so i went home with pat in the end. and oh yes we had a mini og meeting. it really really reminds me of orientation. it's just one ester tt makes the whole thing an og thing. after all weili/shifeng/xiaohui have very much bcum my classmates. which is gd...

10:17 p.m. - 2003-08-15



my head cannot take it. sleep. tired. very. it's really a case of have-the-determination-but-mind-and-therefore-body-is-lethargic

10:24 p.m. - 2003-08-14



ahhhhhhhh.... my comp hanged and interrupted my flight to hong kong... hai

9:38 p.m. - 2003-08-14



physics prac test was pretty gd... though i din write down any precautions (din haf any time to, but i figured out tt i wuldnt haf figured it out even if i had time, so...)

felt so stupid at the end of the chem lecture when he said "if u dunno the answer it means u're not following the lecture". i'm really starting to see tt i'm getting dumber. really. i'm not absorbing fast any more. everything is relative. ni shui xing zhou, bu jing ze tui.

had a conversation with some of our classmates, tokking abt being perfectionist, in sec sch, compared to now in jc, abt letting go (whether it's overdone sometimes e.g. to result in my lagging), so on and so forth. then we also started to compare where/how we got which injury/scar. very interesting... participants include me, ee sang, sunni, wang ning...

went to bio lab to draw the slides again. properly this time. did me much good. den nearly went for vocal lessons but decided it was too far away... den stayed for jap. and i suddenly got this determination from nowhere, tt i'll just do everything to the best of my ability, take interest in everything, and make sure tt i go to each lesson with an aim in mind, tt is to learn sth from it. i probably said this b4 but this time i culd feel the determination (i hit the table a few times during the jap lesson)

8:17 p.m. - 2003-08-14



yay finally finished a 14 slide ppt. wow right. as in yar i really din want to do it at first, but slowly i thought hey this small little city is actually quite interesting. dun mind going there if not for the expensive cost... yup...

9:52 p.m. - 2003-08-13



as much as i've said tt i'm happier in rj than in ri, i think i still miss ri. just took a look at the yrbk (nver actually flipped thru it until today when my mother asked for it). saw the teachers, the students, the everything. i was smiling quite nicely in the class photo... anyway for rv they put the 1999 syf foto!!! and i just started thinking y is it tt i dun haf any fotos at all from ri... none at all!!! even syf. or rv concert. not at all. sad isnt it...

anyway it's just different. u culd just be lazy for the day and wander abt. (well tt's for me) maybe it's not such a big change for others, but jc was a rather big change for me. basically much more active. and frankly it can get tiring... but more satisfying of cos.

i ought to visit ri some time soon.

7:59 p.m. - 2003-08-13



just got home. like hello today there wasnt chorale what on earth was i doing. yes indeed... i wonder. and i still haf tt laos thing to do... ok just get over and done with it and just do my hw...

4:04 p.m. - 2003-08-13



anyway i was thinking. with no sadness there'd be no happiness, with no problems u'll find few real friends. think it's true?

8:43 p.m. - 2003-08-12



hm i was very hyper today in school, not bcos i've lots of energy. (well of cos not. been sleeping so late lately, how to have lots of energy. tt's y this blog's title is time to sleep... anyway the links are right at the bottom of the blog entry-frame well ok not exactly a frame but u noe what i mean)

i thought the chem lecturer was really really gd, the ionic equilibria guy. earned my respect almost immediately. and mr wong did a great job today too explaining oscillations, almost giving a mini-lecture. well done teacherS!

then PW... wow breakthrough!!! was so happy ok when i finally figured out tt u can just return the bks (the computer system) at the waiting area and then install security gates at the aerobridge. ingenius idea... haha.

otherwise the rest of the day was relatively boring. slept thru half of differentiation lecture but i still followed well... very well...

haha but bio prac made me feel really lousy. always cant finish drawing. guess i shall go to the lab tml since there is no chorale... oh there was bio o selection and erm jap. nothing special though.

8:25 p.m. - 2003-08-12



ok finished changing my layout. gd. din actually spend too much time on it. even better. haha but the time din really go anywhere oso, not to work at least. take a break today after working quite hard yesterday. sleep early... (S)

10:19 p.m. - 2003-08-11



quite a few random thoughts again today.

first. the concept of money. how do we get our money? by working (most ppl get it this way anyway. there are always those fortunate few who gamble and win. but yar u still need tt initial sum so u must haf worked to get tt money). with this money u go and buy products or services. and most of ur expenditure again goes to wages. so. what is money? how can its value be measured? so its value follows the quality of services and level of technology? huh. ok somebody taking econs pls explain to me...

the haze is sort of back. not from indonesia, but bcos of our own burning... dun like the smell but like the sight of the white blanket over singapore...

realised tt i think a lot when doing cip at salvation army, and it's usu abt my own childhood or my children's childhood. anyway i realised tt it's sometimes quite hard to teach pri sch kids. when they are just being taught the basics. there are some things tt they just have to memorise. like the times table or addition... how do we know tt 9+4=13? we just know right. how to explain. cannot explain? (actually i think sometimes our mental sums skills are not much better than primary school students... after all we depend on our calculators nowadays. imagine if all calculators of this world decided to go on strike. we'd all be in trouble. overdependence on them...) or a tunnel. i was trying to explain what a tunnel is. i tried linking a tunnel to the mrt, and then the kid kept going, "oh the place where the train stop issit". i said no, it doesnt have to stop, it's just a (urgh. just wanted to use the word "tunnel") passage through which something passes, likely to be underground. and they went "oh the glass door issit which open and close". i was like ok wateva... then the teacher came over and sort of scolded them saying tt they actually knew what it was but were just trying to waste time.

i really dunno whether they really dunno or they know but they pretend not to know. i oso dunno how much i can trust the teachers who believe tt they actually know. there doesnt seem to be any understanding between the students and the teachers. sad yar.

5:42 p.m. - 2003-08-11



haha gp lesson w/o gp. ppl playing games/iq quizes. haha

11:00 a.m. - 2003-08-11



weird ppl search for weird stuff to reach my page:
write perfect o level compo (haha)
seasons lemon tea
otar jurong east
handphone cooling using heat pipes (??)
i was in the old hse for two days (??)
too generous kind

10:00 p.m. - 2003-08-10



i can just say this. i feel really trusted... :)

5:38 p.m. - 2003-08-10



i'll b so so so proud of myself tml... i'm saying it now bcos tml i wun b here to say it...

12:52 a.m. - 2003-08-10



ah very sleepy... shall start sleeping early today. wat abt homework? started doing!!! yay. watched national day parade, heard us sing varuka and one ppl. one nation. yup.

10:23 p.m. - 2003-08-09



- ���{��ŏ�����̂�S�R�m��Ȃ������I

3:21 p.m. - 2003-08-09



i declare computers to be time-eating devices and thus they should be banned in schools and homes.

3:03 p.m. - 2003-08-09



just take a look at new york's (or rather just manhattan) subway system. isnt it so much more exciting then singapore's? though messy.

11:46 a.m. - 2003-08-09



just skimmed thru the whole page, realise i've been lagging for a long time, week after week. and sleeping at a later time. so i'm changing it today.

8:47 a.m. - 2003-08-09



abt the farewell party. i thought it was a success. yeah really. it turned out really well i thought, suitable mood and everything, save for mingze's suggestions to play ball which ended the thing rather abruptly. i must say tt mr toh really helped in my piano playing as well, but i thought i shant say it since so many ppl have already said and they are all like ultra pro ppl. yup.

i'm really happy and relaxed and everything now. just the walk out and the bus ride. everything was just so good. on the walk out we passed by some forested areas, and the light reflected from the leaves was a nice green... wow... really loved it. then there was this stretch which was in total darkness. and i loved tt too. i want to go to a forest at night, hear all the sounds, feel the darkness, and yet feet at ease without feeling any fear. oh yes i look forward to tt surely.

sometimes i just wonder, if i hadnt gone on the trip to endau rompin, would i have fallen in love with nature. perhaps not. but yeah now tt i've gone once i just wanna go again...

n then on the bus, i just kept singing songs which had a certain meaning to me, including home, thankyou for the music, ecce, shower, etc. it just made me very very relaxed. and i looked out to see very few ppl on the streets, and tt to me is very nice as well. the bus was sort of freezing, but i told myself this is really nice weather, and i din really feel cold any more.

really a nice nice 1+ hr. just lazing ard, and there were many times when i felt tt nice feeling coming from my heart when singing and looking out (seeing darkness) and feeling the coldness. i just feel so... (dunno how to describe). feels like i'm removing lots of things from my heart... worries or watsoever... feel so shu1 fu2

12:14 a.m. - 2003-08-09



well yesterday mr wong gained a lot of respect from me... today was physics olympiad selection. i'm hopelessly hopeless. culd only do 1 out of the 6 qns. at least i got tt question correct. blame it on myself for not even preparing when those shens (like prcs) out there are mugging like hell for it.

today during 8 x 50 i ran into ee sang. poor girl fell onto the ground and injured her shoulder. hope ur shoulder's better. and thanx to me medicine culdnt get first. (well actually i ran pretty fast too. just tt i banged into ee sang.)

oh and candice and i checked the ve discs to make sure tt they were all labelled correctly and were in working condition. and watched ve13 as well of cos, with interesting comments from ms hor and the teachers in tt staff room haha.

otherwise it was a relatively boring day.

4:35 p.m. - 2003-08-08



ok very tired but basically yar 137/150 distinction. wat else do i need to say? haha. yup yesterday's conversation was really interesting... at the same time it just makes me think. wat abt myself? i'm slowing losing energy too, perhaps sometimes bcos of a lack of sleep and thus fatigue. but sometimes i just cant be bothered any more. my saying of "hi" to ppl like jen/nita is an especially gd indicator. the "hi"s have become more infrequent and softer. perhaps i just cant be bothered any more. i dunnno where my energy is going either... (well but when there's a key change in any music i'm rejuvenated by it without fail. there's some tt are esp gd but i cant really tell what they are. not just like transposing-up,-repeating-the-theme-more-or-less type of thing.)

alright tt's all for now :] i guess it's ok for us not to bother so much abt not fitting in well. it's not sth tt can be forced isnt it... though we shud still make an effort.

11:58 p.m. - 2003-08-07



wow. spent the whole night playing the piano again. good in a way and bad in a way. but i shud say it does me more good than bad... :)

9:50 p.m. - 2003-08-06



take a look at this all who were interviewed answered in singlish. wow.

6:07 p.m. - 2003-08-06



lots of things happened today.

one thing is i saw odac ppl getting ready for training, going towards the spex gal after changing up. it just reminds me of myself some 5 months ago (wow. 5 months already) not tt this is very significant but yeah i saw them. i wonder how they are now, how odac training is like now. just wondering.

i am looking forward to the next chorale practice, which is like how far away. i feel tt i'm disconnected from music, with my ending of piano lessons and the lack of chorale practice. ok i'm mad i'm looking forward to practices. whateva.

first of all i missed my geog soc foto-taking. sad. as usual lectures now bcum half sleeping periods. gp looked through dialogues. not tt i gained much from it. after all i have read the book already and we were mostly not paying attention. chem tutorial was ok. haha wrote all those rubbish on the board... ($54) and den i refused to believe tt there cant be a sharp turn in the concentration-time graph and tried arguing but of cos since i dunno my stuff at all i realised tt i probably was tokking nonsense (not missense). so today was boring.

then tried to do the cd cover thingie when tiffany decided tt they'd still do the tiles in the end. right. so the construction paper din have to be bought. oh well. so i din do anything. was abt to leave but candice asked me abt the law/medicine talk so i decided to just try and stay for it. and after listening it just makes me think of my future again. what's it gonna be like. dunno. tt perhaps at least makes me less sad tt i'm being sad over just a few undone tutorials. right? so i can buck up. anyway i really thought it was debbie tan's sister. i dunno. she sounded like her (voice), spoke like her, stood like her, has hair like her, her face looks like her. she wears the same things as her. wateva. if her surname is wong then so be it. 99.9% was my guess but i guess probability never works out or even if it does there's always tt 0.1%.

den went home on the mrt, haha tried to get into the train, and the door closed on me / bao rong (actually i cant remember wat exactly happened, it was so fast. but i noe i haf lots of lubricating oil on my pants as a result) yar then tokking to her and honlyn and realised tt perhaps many ppl are unhappy. at least not feeling happy. y? weird. life's really becuming just a routine, i'm doing things for the sake of doing them. sad yar. and chorale which i'm looking forward to is not ard. sad. i tell u i really want to go to some forest. just to get myself to relax. i must go some time. perhaps i can plan for some class outing. or just a bbq. to just unwind for a moment. i just cant imagine myself one year later when i'll be starting to mug intensively. life's sad. mugging's apparently the most important thing in our lives now. maybe not to all ppl. gd for these ppl then.

my brain refused to stop thinking thruout the journey home. i just wonder how many ppl on those trains i was on were also deep in thought. i must have looked like i was thinking. i wonder if others think without showing it. i dunno. i dunno what i'm saying.

5:29 p.m. - 2003-08-06



i think. tt. my stress management is not really tt gd after all.

let's see. i have a bucket to contain my stress. but the capacity's quite huge. it's suspended by a pretty thick and strong string. and i'm simply not aware of the amt of water inside, cos i cant see the water level. i only noe it when the tension cant support the downward force and the string snaps, allowing the water to overflow.

and so as the volume of water increases i do not have the slightest idea tt it is happening, and so i continue slacking. luckily this time there was a sudden big drop which caused the string to snap b4 there was too much water. so it's not disastrous. (usu the string snapping is preceded by sth tt gives a fake/temporary sense of happiness) but the fact that this cycle occurs isnt very gd. must do sth abt it. so what can i do?

9:54 p.m. - 2003-08-05



not exactly in a very gd mood. on a separate note. this morningsaw one of the most excitingly fruitful pw sessions.

9:44 p.m. - 2003-08-05



aiyarh feel a bit useless... maybe i look too much into details... but nvm... do work. and do work. and sleep.

9:07 p.m. - 2003-08-05



yay tonight is quite a happy night. + last night was quite a happy night too. yup nights are bcuming enjoyable... really conrad ur gd news made me happy... :)

10:27 p.m. - 2003-08-04



it's really weird. i spent so much time thinking abt how sad it wuld be when i stop learning piano (both last yr and this yr). and yes this was the last lesson. it was just like any other. slightly late. walk back by tt route. take the lift to the 8th floor. yet i felt nothing. it was just like any other piano lesson. it was so routine. so routine tt it feels as though there's always a next time in the next week, that this is just part of my life. but no it wuld be so no more. sad. maybe i will really start to miss lessons from next wk onwards.

anyway last night was a nice night, knowing tt friends trust me, and somehow it feels gd tt u slowly squeeze stuff out of them...

6:29 p.m. - 2003-08-04




6:05 p.m. - 2003-08-04



ever wondered what the scroll lock key is for? (try it out on spreadsheets like excel wkshts) to think tt it has a LED light reserved for it on every keyboard... wat a waste. i suggest tt the LED be for the insert key instead...

10:26 p.m. - 2003-08-03



i'm now at ri doing pw... very nice environment... trees and other plants giving a green surrounding and a wooden bench. and u have wireless internet access... and yes saw ms low too... rather conducive environment allowed us to finish our part of the draft by 4pm. not bad yar. then abt 3 hrs out at carrefour. took the northeast line. so empty...

12:30 p.m. - 2003-08-03



very random thoughts today.

some ppl whom i admire. as in cos i think they're really great ppl. mingjing. she seems very very talented to me. and john samuel. i dunno. he seems to noe me (i dun even noe how), and he wuld make tt effort to say "hi hong king" every time he sees me. of cos he's great in other areas.

next. my grandma. it's amazing how she's still surviving after 10 days of no water no food. oh well. i dunno what to say to her. encourage her?

next. what hobbies do i have? i dunno.

it's already 38th national day for singapore this yr. i recall seeing singapore turn 30 from 29. very quick. tt's 8 more yrs for singapore. singapore's ageing quickly. we ought to be real proud of singapore...

ah yes. yesterday when i went out for lunch with honlyn and evelyn i was left bhind... felt quite miserable actually eating alone and seeing ppl whom u noe passing by giving u tt look of pity like hey u're eating there alone.

whenever i have to change buses along clementi rd i make an effort to get off at the stop tt's just next to the forest. i really love the smell, or just seeing the trees. i really want to go into the forest again. my home?

do u buy many things without using them? ask ur parents, esp ur mother. there's bound to many of such things collecting dust...

it must be quite interesting when a person driving in singapore goes to normal countries where u drive on the right side, say the US. when he tries to switch on the indicator lights he will activate the wiper, and when he tries to grab the handbrake or "control rod (whatever u call it" he will be grabbing air on the left. must be hilarious...

my trachea seems to be tightening. i wonder y.

10:56 p.m. - 2003-08-02



last time here at nus.... finished measuring contact angle, (i think the results are pretty screwed, but what can i do? nothing... so just be glad i finished... :]) will miss this place

1:14 p.m. - 2003-08-02



so irritating when u type an entry and then ur comp hangs. and the thing is i had a lot to say. now i haf none.

11:26 p.m. - 2003-08-01



"Malaysia's Prime Minister said the time for negotiations with Singapore over the water dispute is over, and it's time to go for arbitration to resolve the matter." this is so ridiculous. after all those ad campaigns. and this is even more ridiculous: "He added, the Malaysian government is also going it alone on the new Causeway project as he doesn't want a protracted discussion similar to the water dispute with Singapore. 'If we discuss this, the bridge will probably never be built. That's why whether we like it or not, we have to design a bridge which appears unusual,' he added." my imagination aint tt gd. i just wonder how it'll look like. i dun understand what's happening...

9:19 p.m. - 2003-08-01



wow. this is my latest night ever. definitely fall asleep tml. and still not ready to sleep u noe... wah can die. BUT I FINISHED DIALOGUES!!! yay. dun feel guilty any more.

1:14 a.m. - 2003-08-01



finally finished reading dialogues. doing wk 2/wk 3 questions now... yay!

11:47 p.m. - 2003-07-31



this morning's physics prac was yet another fun one. well. for the teachers... we were all idiots, and so they had to resist laughing (which physics teachers happen to be best at)... to think tt i thought i was smart enuff to know tt it's constant. din even use my brain to see why we varied what we varied. haha. well. b smart next time, hk! chem lecture wasnt actually boring, but i was simply too tired so i slept for abt 10 minutes? yar must really sleep more today.

then went to salvation army straight away. wait b4 tt, on the 75 i met ryan joseph!!! haha and he told me he met zhini at bp plaza. anyway. back to salvation army. for the first hour i was trying to separate the twins in a high-risk operation (2 huge pieces of construction paper-based decorations tt were stuck together because of very sticky double sided tape on the back of both posters). though one had a few holes here and there, these holes were patched so the operation can be considered a success. then had to put them up on the wall (or maybe i shud call it the ceiling, considering the height..) sweat came out from my sweat pores, and was absorbed by my socks immediately. but i culd feel it... then in the last half an hr or so, i taught ling fang 'articles' and the verb 'to be'. at first she din get it... then i decided ok perhaps u need some distractions. so using my newly-learn skills, i folded a huge crane for her, and on the wings i drew a table of which form of the verb 'to be' to use with who (i.e. I/you/he/she/they/we/it). and also whether it is in the present tense or the past tense. hopefully she remembers. she understood it for a while... at least she kept the crane in her bag carefully, hopefully she'll catch a glimpse of it... as i walked home, i felt so satisfied with myself.

anyway. homework! dialogues!!! haha

oh and b4 i 4get. this morning's civics made me realise. i'm not bz at all and so i shud try and make myself bz by joining more stuff. not for the sake of it, but more to use myself to my fullest potential. but tt's only if opportunities are offered to me. unfortunately u haf to grab them nowadays, they arent offered to u... i seem to be handling stress quite well though

5:54 p.m. - 2003-07-31



nowadays cos my dad fetches me i can leave my hse at such a late time.. next time if i have to take 75 again i bet i'll b late...

anyway it's so weird. there are a few ppl from the US viewing my blog... wonder why. somebody tried searching mate saule and got here... haha

7:04 a.m. - 2003-07-31



i quote jian an's blog :

she's always been so cheerful, jovial, fun-loving n yet hardworking n zealous... she's never said 'no' to her frens...she's gotten herself a not-in-so-good-condition bike n had to work real hard to keep up with the rest, yet she dint complain at all (which explains why most of us onli realised it the nex morning)... n she even fell aslp on her bike juz b4 we reached lau pa sat...

and celeste's blog :

she was a wonderful person. she never remembered all the petty feuds ernie and me had with her in primary school. all she remembered was the craziness and the fun we had in 6G. and we laughed everytime we met in school, and she would sing too. all she ever chose to put by her side were the good memories of pple and that voice of hers...

(i'm sorry if both of u dun approve of my quoting ur blogs tell me if u actually read this...) but now with these wonderful descriptions, i really feel tt it's a waste tt she had to go, tt rj lost sb precious. as i read these descriptions i felt sadder and sadder.

well. we cant turn back the hands of time can we. i hope u are well.

8:43 p.m. - 2003-07-30



i think i'm really bcuming hardworking again. at least i've gained the momentum to clear work from my desk. very good.

anyway. bcame slightly more proficient in folding cranes. had pizzas yesterday (carlyn lee bought them to celebrate our good common test results). gp today was quite good, analyzed our own essays and there are obviously things which we can improve on. which is good.

and yes lta replied: click here to read

oh yes i ate this nasi lemak for lunch and ate so much chilli!!!! could feel the fire in my stomach when i was walking back... shouldnt have eaten it...

7:06 p.m. - 2003-07-30



wow. just did tutorial 11. plus half the assignment. must sleep already!!!

12:39 a.m. - 2003-07-30



excitingly the back gate is open once again. not very used to this fact. in fact i prefer having it closed in some ways. tt way we can talk more on our way to lunch. haha well, and attempt to sing crucifixus, yar? anyway i'm starting to feel bz again. gd.

8:41 p.m. - 2003-07-29



still very tired. but. i'm doing my tutorials (*yay* feels a pat on my back) intend to finish/do physics and maths. so i wuld have chem and gp left. jia you!

9:35 p.m. - 2003-07-28



wah haf a headache... from insufficient sleep last night. i better rest well today... i slept again and again during the bio lecture, and i also missed my stop again. actually woke up in time to get off but decided to alight at later stop... i think i'm sick.

3:33 p.m. - 2003-07-28



went blog surfing, read some ppl's opinion on the incident... to me it will be over soon enough, but i know to many it wunt. anyway. i realised i din really accept the fact at first, cos when i first heard of it, i thought it was a failed attempt. it din occur to me tt it wuld actually occur to a jc student.

10:45 p.m. - 2003-07-27



i've acrophobia. well. not actually scared, but my body reacts by producing lots of sweat. and it's not like total phobia also, it's only when i see nothing at the same level as me tt i start sweating profusely in my hands and feet.

7:53 p.m. - 2003-07-27



still trying to do my dialogues. realised tt my blog is basically a place where i freewrite, and i hope to engage in a dialogue with others but it just doesnt work does it.

3:38 p.m. - 2003-07-27



great article that evelyn read, and there are some things which i thought i must comment on...
sg_ljers: The Singapore Dream:

"But now I refuse to postpone my dreams any further, and shelve them under some misguided notion of pragmatism. How often was I told as a child by my elders, 'wait till you grow up,' 'wait till after exams', 'wait till after you graduate'. "
i think i am definitely part of this. i have brought myself to believe that everything tt i want to do should be done after the exams. exams are the most important thing on earth. ok change that to "in singapore".

"I think the most striking thing about New York is that so many people here are in transition. They don't know where they are going to be or what they are going to be doing in 6 months' time. But they are all working towards their individual dreams, in their own individual way, and not according to some mandated blueprint or destination."
once i read this i seemed to understand it immediately. perhaps i got the impression from movies, or from my trip to manhattan in 2000. it's just all so different. in singapore everything is planned for us. everyone is the same. the paths that we follow are all old paths. even if u and ur friend travel along a different path, in the end u still have so many ppl on the same path as u. and if there is gonna be a new path, (take for example pw, again) it's not new either. we are not free to roam. this "new" path wonders within explored boundaries. (to visualize what i mean, think of a clockface. let's say there are two old [and usu straight] paths at 12 and 3 o clock. the so-called "new" paths, though possibly winding are still limited to this quadrant)
and. it's interesting to note tt i have had worries about not knowing about my future. i feel insecure most of the time if i dunno what's going to happen to me (not so much on the microlevel like when tests are coming up... i'm not really bothered by those, but more on the macrolevel, like what i'm going to study in uni). is having a clearly defined path good or bad? is worrying abt not having a clearly defined path bad? i dunno. but what i noe is having an unpredictable tml sounds pretty good, provided we can just get ourselves out of this system.

"There are signs that children in Singapore are straining under this ethos. Recent newspapers reports have reported that parents are spending an inordinate amount of money and time to send their children for after-school tuition so that they can achieve better results; scoring high marks in tests and exams have been found to be a top concern for students; the average 10 year-old has been found to spend 6 hours in school and up to 8 hours on homework and tuition each day, and, students have been reported to experience physical reactions such as diarrhoea and asthma attacks during or just before exams. Is this education, or child labor? Has scoring well in tests become the reason for tests themselves? How do teachers, parents, and teachers begin to imagine our lives differently?"
has scoring well in tests bcum reason for tests? if u look at the superficial level, no. cos nowadays tests are designed for us to fail, and they give a better gauge of our ability.
but seriously what are we doing in school? was tokking to zewei on the bus after college day, he takes arts now, and he has forgotten quite a lot of the sciences he took in ri. well. in the end, do we actually use what we learn. chances are no. u're going to be doing sth specialized. and i believe tt u can learn tt sth w/o a degree. like how i'm doing my research with only secondary/jc level knowledge. and yet the research is not totally rubbish. as some teachers have noted, a degree shows not one's abilities, but one's max capabilities.

and my tutorials really miss me i think. esp tut 10b. hasnt seen me since b4 the hols.

12:40 p.m. - 2003-07-27



the kowloon club thing gave me the chance to get to know two other smart ppl from hk, rosanna and chuekka... interesting yar. anyway. then went to auntie lily's hse for the whole night. long night...

11:10 p.m. - 2003-07-26



college day was very boring. we din exactly have to be there... but since we were all there we gave our chorale members who got prizes support in the form of loud applause. everybody turned to look at us for the first 2, but by the time it was xing wei's turn they just knew tt he was from chorale... haha. anyway. came home and tried a game of tennis. terrible... so hot oso. then got this clear tan mark on my right leg.

anyway. was just informed by ee sang tt the thing i sent to straits times was actually published! haha. go read it here

12:20 p.m. - 2003-07-26



how do u keep quiet abt such things. how can u trust the school to not spread such things. very hard isnt it. all tt needs to happpen is for one person to leak info and it's sure to reach the whole of singapore. or chorale for tt matter. how? i wuld be really impressed if it doesnt leak out...

8:44 p.m. - 2003-07-25



Tragedies occur every now and then, and it is unfortunate that it has happened to our school. I hope it doesnt trigger more of such tragedies within the school. Pls pls dun be foolish.

Though I do not know her, I know people who know her directly, and that has affected me slightly. It doesnt help to know that somebody else in the class actually had such thoughts (albeit much much weaker) last night as well. But anyway to those who are affected, u cant possibly just forget abt this incident, so i guess the next best thing to do would be to accept it first. it's interesting to see how ppl respond to such news, some who would break down on hearing it, some who would accept it but try to be rational and keep calm, some who wouldnt accept it yet and act as though nothing has happened yet, some who just wunt accept it for a long time to come. If u dunno how to respond, or what to think, then perhaps just wait for a while for the fact to set in, and perhaps by then u wuld haf accepted it...

My friend who was affected by the death of the Iranian twins was less affected than me this time. I think it's just so much more closer to me, and it wasnt exactly an accident... Throughout the day, I looked sufficiently solemn to respect her, in a way, or perhaps i was just affected by the atmosphere. So did most of the school. Everybody kept their voices low, walked quietly... There were clusters of ppl along the corridor. It is again interesting to note how ppl respond to news as a community. I sort of understand how the americans united during 911, though of course everything is different.

I thought the chat with Paul Khoo was really good, and we were all solemn and sad (with irritating comments every now and then by someone). He shared with us how he led his life in SRJC. It is indeed sad tt we have to reflect on the edu system only at a time like this. He was absolutely right. Perhaps the system is pushing us so much, that we're losing our direction. i can safely say tt most of the time i'm learning what i'm learning not out of interest. well. i culd get interested perhaps after some time, but i'm doing it bcos i shud, i must. the system is merely a factory, which produces the elites tt are wanted to run the country. and the part abt raising expectations. taking pw as an example. everybody strives for "exceeding expectations". the new standard would be the new set of expectations for the next batch. and the standard just keeps rising. as much as it seems gd to haf "healthy competition", this never ending race will some day cause ppl to give up. ppl wunt be able to cope. imagine our children. poor poor things. unless we do sth to the system...

and sad to say. i think this describes the situation in 3f, for me. i'm not exactly struggling to accept the fact tt hey i'm not at the top anymore, but i do convince myself tt tt perhaps isnt really a fact, it's just a temporary situation and i wuld eventually make my way up again. and really this peer pressure will cause us to collapse one day.

so what am i doing on this planet? paul khoo mentioned abt not investing everything into sth, just in case u lose tt. think abt it.

well. anyhow i wuld haf to do my tutorials b4 the stack exceeds 1.5cm in thickness, no I'm not kidding. so as much as i am saying all these, i still haf to continue to follow the system, until hopefully some day sth can be done to it.

7:00 p.m. - 2003-07-25



it turned out tt i reached home in 40 minutes, including walking time. what a quick trip. anyway. we din win. i told reginald in the circle: my guess is we have 20% chance of winning. CENSORED.

not being top is nothing much, but i cant help but feel slightly disappointed. as much as i thought there isnt really a reason for me to feel disappointed, my face showed it. not tt i culd see my face in a mirror or anything. but i knew there wasnt any smile on my face, and i culdnt possibly force one... when mr toh said sth like it's gd we din cry, for a moment i thought yeah it's ok indeed not to win, but at the same time i can also say for sure, we din try our best. our performance was ok i guess, might not have been our best, but could have been worse so it was still gd to me. at least i enjoyed one of those things. but if we dun feel any disappointment at all, it culd mean we din actually put in much effort. so y did i feel slightly disappointed? not so much bcos we din win, i thought ac really deserved it (as though i even need to make this statement) the fact tt i felt disappointed tells me this: that if we had actually won, i would have felt really happy. and not just forget it after like a month cos i din try hard enuff. yeah? so in the end yar i did try my best. and it did feel gd on stage...

1:12 a.m. - 2003-07-25



just slept for another hour. nice naps now and then keep me refreshed. but i'm really worse than a pig now. pig wu.

12:38 p.m. - 2003-07-24



playing truant again... missing so many lectures/tutorials nowadays. bcuming such a slack person. help!!! buck up.

8:03 a.m. - 2003-07-24



just got home. wah really tired lor, nver fail to fall asleep in the bus one... lucky today woke up in time. chorale was fine, for a moment i thought i had a fever. well. luckily not. 36.4. but recently my temperature's been 36.2 and below... just felt very hot at the speaker's corner.

syf tml. i'm really going to make sure i sing properly for every single one of them so tt i can say, I HAVE NO REGRETS at all if we dun win, and YES MY EFFORTS PAID OFF if we do win, or even if we dun win, my efforts still paid off. yup... :)

7:41 p.m. - 2003-07-23



(triple lecture day. din fall asleep!) reached home just half an hr ago... dinner. den after tt took mrt. yechao went to ang mo kio! so i took it by myself. so lonely. so i decided at clementi tt i'll drop off and take 184 instead. i got off, waited like 15 minutes b4 a 184 came, then i sat down, sang crucifixus Ab F D for a while, then fell asleep, and stayed asleep thruout the trip. yes thruout the trip. up till bkt panjang terminal. cant believe it lor... first time in my life haf i missed a stop. well at least in my jc life...

anyway. feeling a bit more confident now than yesterday. but really tired. need lots and lots of rest.

11:44 p.m. - 2003-07-22



feeling a sense of regret

12:19 a.m. - 2003-07-21



let's see. spent much of today on music (piano/singing) otherwise it was dialogues. at least i'm doing it. hoping to say yay i've finished like by tml or tuesday...

5:58 p.m. - 2003-07-20



suddenly as my mother and i were discussing olivia's leaving for hk, i could sense tt she is trying to tell me tt perhaps i shud/culd go back to hk for further studies.

the thought of it isnt very pleasant.

10:40 a.m. - 2003-07-20



had the intention to go to nus early in the morning, but tt never happened. then sectionals to me werent VERY useful cos i was still tired and there was no energy. yar doesnt help tt i'm stuck in the corner and i cant hear myself. but combined was relatively good. i had lots of energy, and was thinking abt sending an email to the egroups to tell everyone to just make use of the remaining pratices and really just do our best. looks like ms low has already done it... but really, i do realise tt many are going there and are there only physically. not tt i'm not guilty of tt, u cant really help it if u're really tired. but after all it's only a few days more... really hope we can win! so let's just work hard.

7:50 p.m. - 2003-07-19



today? shall remember it as photo sorting day... sweat produced is almost as much as that produced after running 1.2. and yes thanks a lot mum! helped me to call out the photo numbers. anyway. chem prac as usual got wang ning slightly wet. otherwise nothing very interesting. 2-10 din stink as badly as it usually does. only me and mingjing went for jap. almost like one to one tuition...

10:29 p.m. - 2003-07-18



cant believe myself. slacking as though it's the right thing to do.

11:00 p.m. - 2003-07-17



i realised tt some rjc students are really hopeless this morning. asking rubbish. asking without greeting or introducing themselves. asking and leaving immediately b4 the speaker even starts to answer, asking yet not thanking. and i cant even say tt tt's wat distinguishes a ri student from others. cos obviously there were ri students. at least abiel did ri proud. well. in a way.

i learnt today tt if u wanna stay awake during lectures, u shudnt listen so much to the lecturer. cos it's simply too boring to just listen (esp when there arent many examples to work out). always always find sth to do, and meanwhile listen as well. tt shud work very well in keeping u wide awake. and u do absorb rather well too. try it!

anyway went to kk for a pulmonary test. no i dunt haf pneumothorax... haha. they were testing the severity of my asthma. it turned out tt my condition is actually quite gd. and my heart is working fine too. gd for me then. they had a treadmill for me to run on (interestingly they had a huge poster of this path going into the forest, so tt u dun stare at a blank wall when u run) and my heartbeat, blood pressure were monitored. i reached a max of 8.0km/h, with heartbeat at like 181... (max heartbeat was 211 though) compare that will my resting heartbeat of around 60+, 70... thrice... but it wasnt all tt challenging actually. but it was fun lar. i was made to exhale to test the capacity of my lungs. and it was so tiring to do it like almost 20 odd times? yup. anyway the technician kept making me laff. she went "come hong king, auntie will blah blah". as though she were speaking to a small kid. cant blame her though, after all she works at kk. but tt affected my ability to exhale fully cos i laffed. but anyway. now it's actually starting to ache. and there's phlegm cos i irritated my windpipe by like trying to force air out. oh well. it will recover.

i have also figured out tt there's no point in going to a doctor or a teacher for tt matter hoping tt he/she can help u. it usually doesnt work unless u try to help urself as well. and u must put much more effort than the doctor or the teacher, they are merely there to guide u.

finally. one of the key features of gd leadership is to be able to get what we want from others without seeming to dominate.

oh yes yesterday's laffing incident: It all began with me saying "i'm quite full actually... i've eaten ice cream, a muesli bar, a wafer biscuit, and pink dolphin" sicheng started laffing. not very funny actually. so wat happened was somehow i was reminded by his laffter of wat i was laffing at abt 10 minutes b4 tt: how zewei responded when my mate saule score suddenly appeared on his arm like a lizard whose legs suddenly lost adhesive power and therefore falls flat onto his arm. (i was actually throwing it to sicheng) anyway so this made me laff again. and so we kept laffing. il-il. instantaneous laffter, induced laffter. and i just culdnt stop laffing. mind u i had food in my mouth at tt time, and i was struggling to swallow it so tt i wunt haf to spit it out to prevent choking on it. but i laffed so badly tt i had to hug pillars, hug benches, do anything i culd to stop laffing. and yet once i saw sicheng, laffter creeped into me again. din even haf time to tickle myself. or rather culdnt possibly want to tickle myself when the laffter was already so uncontrollably unbearable. it's been such a long time since i laffed SO badly. glad i stayed back and din come back to get my tripod. wuldnt haf had such a gd laffing session otherwise.

7:21 p.m. - 2003-07-17



quite a long day... decided tt total sleeping during lecture is better than half sleeping. cos u miss like 1 minute and den can last for another 10 to 15... rather than appear like u're listening but actually nothing gets in. yes and i also realised tt i gain nothing out of gp videos.

chorale in the afternoon was gd, or at least better than the night recording. which is quite sad. the experience at vch was quite interesting. i was perhaps the person fidgeting the most. interesting at first but slowly fatigue sets in. not so much for tenors i guess. but my eyelids refused to cooperate by the time we sang crucifixus the last time... actually i thought the last few crucifixus takes sounded better. sharper and nicer. rather than flat.

and yes thanx serene and mum!!! thanx a lot for fetching me home.... wuld haf reached home at like 12+++ otherwise. and thanx for the dinner too. which of cos naturally reminds me of me and sicheng laffing uncontrollably. shall explain more next time. time to sleep!

11:33 p.m. - 2003-07-16



stupid blogspot cant publish my blog. and coming back temporarily for the moment:

[ Tue Jul 15, 10:30:37 PM | Wu Hong King | edit ]

long day. just starting to eat dinner. well. really must do my dialogues. both physics and jap were pretty well done. so my grades are now AAABB (I just found out tt 58.5 for gp is a B4 not a C)

[ Mon Jul 14, 11:59:53 PM | Wu Hong King | edit ]

as tired as i am i must write abt today. first of all was pe. actually scored a few goals for floorball. i was so happy. b reminded tt i dun get to touch the ball usually. anyway. then. gp was interesting, finallly got the idea of wat the whole passage was abt. i mean of cos we culd understand it during the test, but we din exactly see where the argument was going, we just understood it sentence by sentence, not as a whole argument. think paul khoo is really not bad a teacher. after tt was already chorale. wow actually was with chorale the whole day wasnt i.

so we went to the esplanade. the backstage is a bit like a maze. the recital studio was quite nice. got to watch other choirs sing. few of us met yong ping for dinner, after which we made it back to buona vista at 5.30, reaching school only at 5.40, just to find others equally late. oh well. tt's the problem wif us isnt it... den a short comm meeting, relatively fruitful i guess. sectionals were cut short by the need to cut the bday cake. u noe i was so sleepy during "sectionals"... with the band distracting, the altos barely 5 metres away, and my voice pretty un-warmedup, it wasnt exactly the best time/place to have sectionals.

but the combined was really really gd for me. sang pretty well actually, and i liked my new position as well. (though standing next to sicheng is actually quite fun/gd) erm i was really having fun during just one of those things. (though sometimes i didnt even bother to sing properly, culd hear some funny notes here and there) and i like the cold environment, the night. argh. y cant all practices be at night. and i think we put down our guard more, in the sense tt we tend to talk to each other more, and not have any barriers. i thought i really enjoyed doing the "s" of crucifiXUS at the 8th beat together with all of the other t2s. it's like cos we're all a bit tired, and are sort of in the same boat (having to practice at such late hours). so to me night practices are really good.

[ Sun Jul 13, 07:31:23 PM | Wu Hong King | edit ]

just realised tt blogger is screwing up. the entry before the previous one wasnt even published. how stupid is tt... so though nobody actually knew tt i intended to close the blog, they'll now think tt i closed my blog cos it isnt even updated. urgh!

[ Sun Jul 13, 07:28:18 PM | Wu Hong King | edit ]

i've decided to come back, not bcos i cant resist the temptation. i can. but the thing is i realised tt my rule doesnt really make sense. cos i basically worked ard it by just not posting here, but instead jotting down my thoughts somewhere else. so in the end it's the same. i still spend time. now it'll be a bit difficult to stop thinking, cos my brain likes to be kept bz. and tt basically means tt i cant stop jotting down thoughts either, cos i hate to lose thoughts tt i was thinking abt. it just feels as though i've lost sth forever and wuld never be able to find it again. so. does tt mean i wuld haf to start blogging again? perhaps. just impose a time limit on myself i guess. tt shud do the trick. 10 minutes per day. gd. settled. (actually i was wondering wat will appear on the page if i dun post at all for a wk. will all the entries be archived and disappear?)

so wat has happened since i last wrote? quite a lot. there was the ri practice. which erm was rather interesting. the lt3... anyway. i got free chicken rice from the auntie. anyway so a few ppl were late, and cos they din exactly appear like they wuld pay their fines any time soon (i din try hard to ask them either), i decided to send an email to inform them tt the fines will be waived, since i guess they had legitimate reasons. and it happened tt bcos i was too frustrated with this whole fining business, my email sounded authoratative, as though it was a warning sent by some government body, and so i had to resend another one to sort of apologize. but anyway i think whether a grace period shud be allowed is still very much debatable. shall decide next comm meeting. so, basically must learn to be erm more tactful i guess.

what else? oh now tt i'm playing the piano w/o stress due to the exam (which was ard for the previous month or so), it feels so much better again. yesterday my family went on a shopping spree, bought pillows, a tennis racket, and a printer. each transaction happened within 10 minutes. amazing isnt it. and i cut my hair today.

ok then the rj teacher thingie. haiyah tt guy just shudnt haf posted it on the net. but sph really made this matter too big. no point in doing so. does the report actualllly boost readership or viewership? no i dun think so. as jing jing said, it just worsens our impression of them. it's a lose lose situation. so y bother to blow up this whole thing.

but perhaps there are those ba4 gua4 ppl who are going to support sph more bcos of this. those who read wateva wan bao. these ppl really haf nothing better to do...

and the partial-lifting of the chewing gum ban. it's just another example of how singapore is such a fine city. deterrence does not make us any more civic conscious. and ur particulars are taken down when u buy gum. so if some gum is found on the lift door of Blk XX YY Town, they're going to contact all those who bought gum and stays in YY town, esp those in Blk XX itself. wow. looks like we had too many contact-tracing ppl during the SARS crisis and we dun want these newly-employed ppl to bcum unemployed again.

hm as i wrote the previous paragraph, i realised tt the fines are a deterrent. so they are not the best way of making ppl come early / punctually. think hk think. ok so perhaps singapore as a fine city isnt really tt bad. but u haf to eventually lift the fines/bans. they cant be perpetually there. ok perhaps we can stop the collection of fines soon. like when everyone actually is willing to go early so tt we can start on time, and feels so guilty when he/she is late. not bad. sounds good doesnt it. i wonder when tt will be.

[ Sat Jul 12, 07:55:25 AM | Wu Hong King | edit ]

hm intending to temporarily close my blog for 1 wk or until i recover from the lag, whichever is earlier. tt wuld mean tt i wunt come online to do anything except to check my email. so... Jul 18... look forward to it... when i'd haf achieved much

anyway i'm getting slightly worried tt i'll be late for the ri practice

10:58 p.m. - 2003-07-15




to read entries from jan 2003 to may 2003, click here

to read entries of 2002, click here

3:50 p.m. - 2003-06-01


previous - next

latest entry

about me





random entry

other diaries: